Author's Note: WARNING! The beginning of this chapter is kinda brutal and bloody! If you're squeamish about that sorta thing then just skip to the non italicized part.
Whenever I cut, I get this strange second sight almost. Like I can see right past my skin and into my veins to peek at the blood within. And then when my skin opens and the blood is out, it appears radiant almost! Shining brilliantly on my pale skin like a fire on a background of white. It's amazing. But the sensation only lasts for a few minutes. And then I'm faced with the reality of my situation. However the reality never stops me. I cut even knowing how I will feel after the sensation is gone.
I reach for a knife, tears stinging my cheeks. So many thoughts are running through my head. So many things I want to cry about. Scream about. Just forget about. But the predominant thought is the sensation of seeing beyond my flesh to my glowing blood. It will take away the other thoughts if I just give into it. This is how it has to be. The knife presses against my pale skin, and beyond it to my blood. And once again I'm nearly blinded by the bright ruby liquid that breaks free from my cut skin.
I cry more at the pain. But I also cry at the relief. At being able to forget them! To forget all the shit I have to go through! To forget my family, my school, my dramas! It doesn't last though. The sensation starts to fade. So I drag the knife across my skin again, letting more of the glowing blood drip out. I feel like pressure is building inside of me. The thoughts are coming back faster. I can't forget about them. And the sensation is nearly gone! No! I have to hold onto it for as long as possible! I dig deeper with the knife. I don't want these thoughts! I don't want these memories! I don't want these fucking life lessons!
I want to just be ignorant and innocent again! Why did I ever think growing up would be good?! I can't fight the emotions coursing through my veins and spilling out onto my skin! I don't want them anymore. I want quiet. With this thought I grip the knife in my fist, determination in my new tears. And I stab down quickly and harshly, the knife puncturing skin, veins, muscle. Nearly to my bone. I let go of the silver object as pain floods through me, pushing away the tension and pressure I had felt. But it's too much all of the sudden. The pain. It's too much! I...what did I do?
My breathing hitches as I pull the bright red instrument out of my arm, staring in horror at what I've done. What am I going to do? I can't hide this! How could I let myself be so led by my emotions that I completely destroyed myself? I try to stand up, but I feel faint.
"Katie!" A voice screams at me, just outside of the door I locked myself behind. I try crawling towards the voice, which is alarmed and demanding, but my legs are so weak! "Katie!" It calls again, joined by a pounding on the door. Please come in! Please I need help!
OOOOO
"Katie! Wake up!" Pitch is shaking me gently, worry written on his face. He gasps slightly when I finally open my eyes. I look at him, panic still coursing in my veins from the dream. A cold sweat is on my forehead, and I'm shaking slightly in Pitch's arms. He looks at me with wide eyes, demanding an explanation for my latest terrifying nightmare, which I know for a fact did not come from him. He promised me he wouldn't mess with my dreams anymore. And I believe him.
"It...it was just a dream..." I realize.
"A Night Terror." He corrects, not looking very thrilled about it. I look down at my arm, fingers tracing the thick deep scare about midway up my right arm. The one that nearly killed me. Two years ago on that night. The one I just dreamed about. Pitch hesitantly puts his hand over the scar, making it disappear. I look up at him, tears pricking my eyes. He sighs heavily, hugging me to his chest. I bury my face in his neck, the tears pouring out of my eyes. The dream had been so frightening. But not nearly as frightening as the night it had happened. I had been really scared that I would die! But Carter had been the voice on the other side of the door. She had managed to unlock it and call the hospital. A few stitches and blood transfusions later I was admitted to a behavioral hospital for a determination of my mental status. And a few months after that I was home, staring at the tile floor of the bathroom where I had nearly killed myself.
"I...I'm scared." I admit in a whisper. He awkwardly rubs my back. I can tell he's out of practice with the whole comforting people thing. Especially since being the Boogeyman must mean he gives people those kind of dreams. He's probably never been the one to wake someone from a Night Terror. But he sits with me as I cry for probably close to half an hour. Then he looks down at me carefully.
"You must promise me you will never hurt yourself again." He demands, voice thick with the seriousness of the situation. He must never have known about that night, considering how alarmed he looks. I just nod. Since that night, I still cut myself. But I shake in fear when I even think about how close I came to dying that night. I had actually pierced my artery with the force of my self inflicted stab. And I may not be able to deal with my life at times, but that doesn't mean I want to be done with it. Sure sometimes I wish I could quit it all, but I'm to scared of dying to kill myself. Really I wish I could just be in a coma.
"I'm sorry." I murmur through my sniffles. He looks perplexed by my apology. "I worried you." I explain. His eyes soften and he strokes my cheek, wiping away a few tears. I sort of lean into his hand, which makes him smile.
"It's okay Katie." He whispers, kissing my forehead lightly. We sit there for a comfortable few minutes before a sudden crash makes us both jump. He looks at me at the same time I'm looking at him and we both stand. He holds onto my hand as we run through the halls, looking for the source of the crash. He seems to have an idea where he's going though and leads me straight to a large cavern. It had dozens of empty skeletal cages hanging from the ceiling and in the middle there's a large globe (minus the oceans) all lit up with yellow lights. He looks up towards where a shard of light is filtering into the caver, just waiting. Finally a few minutes later a skinny teenage looking boy creeps in through the tunnel where the trace of light is originating. I'm startled to realize it's Jack Frost!
"Pitch I know you're in here!" Jack calls. Pitch squeezes my hand before disappearing into darkness and reappearing in front of Jack. The boy jumps back, pointing that weird looking staff at Pitch threateningly.
"What do you want Frost?" Pitch sounds actually bored by Jack's presence.
"Look we know you took Katie. And I just had to endure an hour of your whiny little sister feeling sorry for herself. So if you're not going to give Katie back, can you at least do something to shut Carter up?" Jack pleads. Pitch looks surprised by the boys outburst, and he's not the only one. I gasp loudly, and both men look to where I'm standing. Jack instantly floats away from Pitch and lands in front of me, hugging me tightly.
"Hands off Frost." Pitch hisses, pulling Jack away from me by the scruff of his sweater and shoving his away a few feet. He then puts a protective arm around me. Jack, looking very unsettled about the conduct of Pitch towards both him and me, glares at him. "You can tell Carter and the Guardians that Katie is just fine." He adds, gesturing to me. Jack studies me closely, obviously not believing Pitch.
"It's true Jack, I'm fine. I'm happy." I explain with a sheepish smile. He arches an eyebrow, definitely not believing this. "Jack, Pitch treats me so much better than my parents or Carter ever did! He's been taking care of me! He's been comforting me!" This nearly makes Jack's head explode from the look of it. I shrug out from under Pitch's arm, taking Jack's hand. "Please believe me. I don't want to go back."
"Yeah I don't blame you!" He nearly shouts. "But you really think Pitch is a good substitute for that bratty sister of his?" He demands.
"What do you mean his sister?" Jack stills for a second, looking a Pitch. Pitch nods, as though encouraging Jack to go on.
"You...you don't know? Carter is Pitch Black's sister. She's constantly being reborn in different times and places and this time around she was born your sister." He explains briefly. I gape at him. This can't be right!
"It's true Katie. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But this is the last time either of us will need to be worried about Carter. When she has her baby, it will be the end of her life as an immortal." Pitch adds on, putting his arm around me again. I just look between him and Jack dumbly. Actually, this makes a lot of sense. It explains why Carter has always been such a bitch! But I just don't understand why no one told me until now! I try to put my thoughts into words, but come up short and just sigh, nuzzling into Pitch's side. "Jack why don't you stay a few days. I can make you a room right next to Katie's." Pitch invites, though I can tell he's not excited about having another house mate. Jack too looks less than thrilled about it, but one look from me makes him sigh and nod his head.
"But then I'm going to tell the Guardians whether or not I think we should actively be trying to rescue her. So you had better make a good impression on me Nightmare King." He mutters bitterly. I can't help the giggle that escapes my lips.
"You had better make her happier more often. There's only so many nightmares I can fight off. You'll have to do the rest." Jack looks surprised that Pitch would be trying to prevent my nightmares, and he already seems to be relaxing a bit.
"Well first things first, how about a little snow fight?" He grins, tapping is staff on the ground. A burst of blue light surges up the walls to the ceiling where it covers the black stone and creates a light powdery snow. Pitch looks like he wants to protest but in an instant I'm off running around in the occurrence that I have never yet experienced, so he lets it go. Jack nudges him slightly before flying off to catch up with me. Okay things just got a whole lot more kick ass down here!