Chapter 29

Patrick watched from the window as his father climbed into his car and backed out from the driveway. At his insistence Noah had finally agreed to come for dinner and watch the hockey game. He played with Rian, holding his hands as he took unsteady steps across the room. It had been a cordial but awkward evening as Noah refused to discuss Brenda or his feelings at all. Not even Robin's gentle prodding as they did the dishes could convince him to open up. He realized for the first time how completely sad and lonely his father's life was following his mother's death. Every plan, every dream he had died with Mattie that day and the pain was more than he could bear. Patrick had been so angry with his father, so angry about his mother's death that he had been unable to see what Noah was going through. To see him struggling once again with loss, after spending so many years emotionally locked away, cut him to the core.

He climbed the stairs and walking into his bedroom sank on to the corner of the bed. Pulling his t-shirt over his head, he tossed it in the hamper. He rubbed his hands over his face, tired and disappointed that he could not relieve his father's burden. Having checked in on Rian, Robin came in the room and ran her hand through his hair as she walked past.

"Can you please explain to me what the hell Brenda was thinking?" he asked in exasperation.

Taking off her sweater, Robin turned around. "No, I can't" she said quietly. "She's not returning my phone calls."

"Does she have any idea what she's done to him?"

Robin shrugged. "I can only imagine she was in a bad place if she felt the need to run out on him like she did."

"Bad place?" he asked incredulously. "Bad place? Robin, he's an alcoholic!"

Robin looked at him quizzically. "I'm not even sure how to respond to that. Noah's alcoholism is not Brenda's responsibility any more than it is yours or mine."

"She's wrecked him."

"If it's any consolation I think she's pretty wrecked too."

Patrick spun around and glared at her. He couldn't understand why his wife was supporting Brenda at all after what she had done. "If it's any consolation? Um, no, I feel confident that whatever wreckage Brenda is living is no consolation to what my father is going through."

Robin put her hands on her hips and stared at her husband. Anger and fear were etched all over his face and while Robin's first instinct was to want to take that away from him there was no way she was going to let her friend be disparaged. "Are you getting pissy with me?"

"Why are you defending her?"

"Because she's my friend and she has her own issues going on."

"Noah is your father-in-law –he is your family." Patrick stood on the other side of the room, mirroring her stance with his hands slung low on his hips.

"And Brenda is like my sister and for a long time was the only family I had. Are you thinking there are sides here or something?"

"Damn straight there are sides – you're either on my father's side or Brenda's side but you can't support them both."

Robin took a step back. "Patrick" the tone of her voice was a warning "I absolutely can and will support them both. I love them both very much and I am not going to throw one over for the other. Not to mention, I don't think Noah would want me to."

"Nobility is overrated" he spat.

Trying to defuse the situation, Robin took a step towards him. "Look baby, I know you're worried for your father and I am too but he's doing all the right things – he's going to meetings and he's talking to people. He's not the same man he was when your mom died and there's no reason to believe that he will slip back into old behaviour. He's worked too hard and has too much now to give it all up."

"He should have had too much back then but I guess I wasn't worth the struggle" he said flatly.

"You don't believe that" she said softly. Patrick shrugged and took off his jeans, hanging them over the chair. "Patrick – that's not what I meant…"

"I know what you meant."

"Look, there's a conference in Vienna at the end of the month that I'm going to go to and I'll add on a few extra days, fly to Rome and find out exactly what's going on with Brenda."

Snapping his head up, Patrick stared at her in surprise. "Pardon?"

"There's a conference in Vienna at the end of the month…"

"No" he said, cutting her off.

"No?" Robin's cheeks began to flush as her anger built. "What do you mean, no?"

"There's no way you are going to a conference at the end of the month in Vienna and you're sure as hell not going to Rome."

Robin brushed her hair from her face and took a steadying breath. "And why wouldn't I go?"

He sighed exaggeratedly. "We just had the insemination today – you might be pregnant then and you don't need the stress so you're not going." His tone was definite.

"We?" she questioned, walking towards him. "We just had the insemination? I don't seem to recall it being your legs hooked in stirrups with a catheter feeding semen into you. I don't recall it being you who was cramping and I don't seem to recall it being you who was nauseous for two hours afterwards. What is this 'we' shit? And what is with the caveman act? If I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant – I'm not sick!" Robin's eyes blazed with anger.

"Well excuse me for wanting to take care of you and have you well rested so that our baby will be healthy." Sarcasm dripped from his voice.

"Is that some sort of implication that I DON'T want our baby to be healthy or that I don't want to be well rested? Listen Patrick – I get that you are a bit of an emotional mess at the moment – Gracie is critical and will be having surgery in a couple of days, you're worried about Nathalie and Oliver and you're worried about your father but don't you dare think that is a free pass to push me around or take your fear out on me – I am your wife, not your whipping post."

"Whipping post?" he arched his eyebrow. "You're right, I'm worried about Nat and the kids and my dad but I am also worried about you and the baby – I am your husband and that is my right."

"We don't even know if there is a baby yet and already you are being overprotective and Neanderthal-like."

"Overprotective? Do I have to remind you of what happened when you were carrying Rian? Your blood pressure was through the roof and you had to go off work." His voice was rising steadily.

"My blood pressure was high because I was being pressured by Bruce and his insanity!! And other than this ridiculous argument I'm having a fairly stress free time of things. But if I *am* pregnant then you being an idiot isn't helping matters." She matched him in volume.

"Idiot? IDIOT??? Do you even want a baby right now?" His brown eyes were black with anger and his neck and cheeks had reddened.

"What in the HELL is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, Robin, I sometimes get the feeling that a second child is something I want more than you do."

She rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "You have really and truly lost it, do you know that? Do you think there is absolutely any way I would have gone through what I went through today if this wasn't something I wanted? I know you think I'm generous but I'm not *that* generous. Of course I want a second child with you though at the moment between you and Rian it already feels like I have two."

"Nice" he snorted. "Back to name calling it is."

"Well I wouldn't have to resort to name calling if you would just say what was really on your mind. What are you afraid of Patrick? And don't even try to tell me that you're not afraid. I know you – I know where you live and this is what you do. You get scared or worried and instead of talking about it like a grown up, you pick a fight. So what is it? Is it your Dad? Me? The second baby? What?"

"And I know you Robin, and you get all high and mighty when you're trying to avoid dealing with your own issues."

"I don't have any issues at the moment – you're the one who picked the fight about Brenda."

"And you leapt to her defence."

Robin stamped her foot out of frustration. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't? Jesus Patrick, she is my very best friend in the world, there isn't anything she hasn't seen me through and while I am so sad for Noah, I'm not going to abandon Brenda. And you wouldn't want me to if you could think clearly." Frustrated and out of patience, Patrick grabbed his pillow and a t-shirt and headed towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"To get some sleep – on the couch!" He looked at her, daring her to challenge him to stay.

"Fine by me" she huffed.

"Great."

"Terrific"

Fuming, Patrick stormed down the stairs throwing his pillow on to the couch before flopping on to it and pulling the white afghan blanket over him. He stared up at the ceiling.

Robin, still seething with anger, ripped the covers back and flung herself on to the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, she sighed, it was going to be a long night.