She still wasn't back yet. Inquisitor Penhallow said that she just jumped up and ran out of the Institute, but that was six hours ago. She'd disappeared without a word, not even about where she was going.
It made Chase angry. Extremely, completely, over the edge angry. He didn't care if Lilith and Jonathan were dead. Emily should've known that running off in the middle of the night by herself wasn't exactly the brightest thing to do anymore. And without a single word about where she was going made this worse. What was more important than waiting for him? For Jace? For word about her family? What was such a big deal that she just had to leave them all behind like some kind of lonely hero?
He still remembered the moment when he woke up. Caterina was hovering over him, a look of relief over her face but that face wasn't the one he wanted to see.
He had wanted to see her. To see Emily. All he wanted was to see her, to see her face, her smile. Those piercing green eyes that seemed to read into his every movement. The flaming red hair that curled around her face when she'd look down at him, how it would fall from her shoulders like a red curtain. He wanted to run his hands through it, to feel the softness and play with the blonde bits that shone in the sunlight. To kiss her. To hold her. That was all he wanted.
At this point, he hated himself for what he put her through. He was being selfish by wanting her. Even if his mind told him to stop, his body wouldn't let the craving for her fade. In fact, the more he thought about her, the more he wanted her. His selfishness was getting out of control, and he really wished that he'd be dead at this point. That would've been his rightful punishment, the punishment he deserved.
Because this whole thing was because of him. Everything that Emily went through was because of him, and he still felt like he should have her. He was a dick and knew it. She deserved better. She deserved someone who hadn't almost had her family killed. Someone who didn't put her through the worst, making her fight and watch as her family was almost taken from her one by one.
Someone like Conan.
Chase fell back against his bed at Simon's, staring up at the ceiling that covered his head for the past four years. What would she think of him when she finds out about Conan?
Who was he kidding? He knew exactly what she would think. And she would have every right to. She'd have every right to hate Chase for what he did, for taking Conan away from her, forever.
He reached up, pulling at his brown curls that covered his head until it was painful. And it felt good. The pain was the only thing that kept him from thinking this was just some nightmare that he'd drawn up in his head. If only that were true. If only he could just wake up and realize he was fourteen again, back in England, living with his family. Not that he'd ever regretted meeting Emily and falling in love with her, but she'd be so much better off without him. Her family had pretty much told him so. Well, Jace more than Clary. Chase agreed though. With every bone in his body, he agreed with Jace's opinions of him, because he really was being selfish and was nothing but a danger for Emily.
Someone knocked at the door, and Chase just turned his head to the side before yelling, "Come on in."
Simon popped his head through, looking much better than he did before. Luckily, vampires heal especially quickly, and after he had some blood, he healed to perfection again. His skin was back to its abnormally pale color, his hair wet from a shower. His body was covered in the designer jeans, boots, and white t-shirts that Isabelle always bought him.
Isabelle. There was another reason Chase hated himself right now. He pushed himself up on his elbows, the pain in his leg lessening but still there. "How is she?"
Simon knew exactly what he was talking about, but didn't say a word. Chase's heart fell and he closed his eyes, falling back on the bed again. This was his fault. All his fault. His face covered his hands, and it took every muscle in his body not to scream in frustration.
The bed shifted next to him, and Chase felt cold fingers pull his hands from his face, placing them on his stomach but his eyes stayed closed. "Someone's here to see you."
Chase shot up in bed. "Emily?"
"Her father," Jace said as he entered the room.
Chase's heart dropped, his blood started pulsing faster, and for once, he was actually scared out of his mind. Even though he completely deserved everything Jace was about to dish out to him, that didn't mean he actually wanted to endure it.
"Don't kill him, Jace," Simon instructed as he stood from the bed and walked towards the door. Chase watched him go, trying his best to look at anything other than Emily's father, and Simon gave him and sympathetic look before shutting the door with a click.
Finally, after many awkward seconds of silence, Chase looked at Emily's father. Jace was standing there, hands in his pockets, looking down at him like a bug that should be squashed. He looked better, much better after getting stabbed, but the pain was still there in his face. Iratze can only heal so quickly, and even once its healed, the pain doesn't just fade instantly. Especially when you lost a lot of blood and had many other injuries along with the demon poisons.
Yeah, Jonathan and Lilith were smart. Caterina found out why the iratzes were taking forever to work, and it turns out that all the blades had demon poisons embedded in the blades. So she'd had to work triple overtime to work out the poison before the healing process could begin, and many of them almost didn't make.
Isabelle still had yet to recover.
Chase couldn't bear to look the older man in the eyes and looked down at the bed. His hands were in his lap, playing with his fingers. He looked like a kid that was about to get scolded, and that's exactly how he felt.
"I want you to explain something to me." Chase swallowed at the sound of his voice. The tone clearly wasn't welcoming and was very much full of unspoken threats.
"Yes, sir."
"Did you know?"
Chase stumbled over his words, not sure of what to actually say. "I – I didn't know about my sister, about the poisons, or anything. I knew that they were planning something, but I didn't–"
He was suddenly suspended in the air, and slammed back down on the bed. Pain shot down through his leg as hands balled into fists with his shirt fabric, holding him down and putting a little too much pressure. It hurt, making it hard to breathe.
A whimper escaped his throat as he looked up into the golden eyes that were ready to kill. "I swear on the Angel that I didn't know Lilith was going to take it that far," Chase gasped. He hoped the angel swear would maybe help him in his current situation, but Jace wasn't lightening up. In fact, his grip only tightened even more. "I didn't know that everyone would be involved."
"Did you know what they would do?"
Bile rose up in Chase's throat, because as much as he hated to admit it, he did. He knew enough to know that Clary and Jace weren't supposed to make it out alive. He knew that in order to get his family back, Emily's was going to have to suffer.
But he couldn't hold his pride in now. He had to face the consequences, and Jace was as big of a consequence as it gets. "To an extent, yes."
The fire in Jace's eyes grew so much that Chase was scared for his life. His jaw set. One of his hands released him and balled into a tight fist, like he was ready to punch. But the pain in his eyes was what really caught Chase's attention. It was the look he had when he lost his mother, his father. It's the look of sorrow, worry, of pain, suffering, and true fear.
"I should kill you," Jace growled out. And he looked like he really wanted to. "You shouldn't get the sympathy that my wife is showing, the love that Emily is more than likely going to show you. You don't. I should murder you for what you almost did to my family, to my wife, my kids."
Chase nodded. His hands pulled up, resting by his head in a symbol of surrender. "And I deserve it."
"But I can't." Jace dropped his hands, standing up straight and backing away. He stood a few feet from the bed, pulling at his hair. "I want to. I've wanted to do nothing but rip your head off since you showed up four years ago. I know this isn't completely your fault, but dammit if I don't blame you."
"If I had the balls, I'd do it for you." Chase sat up, trying his best to ignore the slight throbbing in his leg. It wasn't painful, but more like the blood was pumping too fast. Nothing serious. "But I'm just… I'm just too weak to do what has to be done."
"If your contemplating on doing what I just threatened, don't." Their gazes finally met, a light green on gold. "Emily would never forgive either of us."
"Doesn't mean I don't want to."
"And it's not like I wouldn't like it if you did, but like I said," Jace sat down on the bed, one leg tucked and the other on the side so he could look at Chase. "Emily would bring you back, just so she could kill you herself after she had her way with me."
That was so true that it was sad. Emily had that kind of fire, which is the reason Chase was drawn to her in the first place. She was strong, independent, feisty, powerful, and beautiful all in one tight package under all that gear.
His need for her suddenly came back in a flash again, and his hand went to his chest when his heart beat faster. It was so cliché, but he couldn't help it. All he wanted for the next eighty years was to hold her. "Have you seen her?" he asked desperately. "Heard from her at all?"
He shook his head. "You?"
"No," Chase breathed out. "Any idea where she went?" Jace hesitated. Chase's eyes widened. "You know where she is."
"I have an idea," Jace corrected.
"Which is?"
"I'm going to tell you something about Emily," Jace leaned forward, eyes intent and serious. "If she disappeared without a notice and didn't say anything, then–"
"She doesn't want to be found," Chase finished. "That doesn't mean I don't want to go looking for her. She should know that we'd all want to see her. She is the one that killed both Lilith and Jonathan."
"Which is why I'm not worried about her."
Even though everything coming from Jace was right, the younger boy didn't exactly care for his wisdom. He fell back on the bed, hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. "I am."
"You shouldn't be. Like you said, Emily killed Jonathan and Lilith with little help from any of us. She could hold her own against the best vampires, werewolves, fairies, and Shadowhunters alike. She'll come back when she's ready."
"I'm ready to have her back now." Chase rolled over, burying his head in his pillow. "I need her."
"I know." There was no anger. There was no threat. No fatherly protection in his voice. It was almost as if he understood. As if he actually got what Chase was saying. "I've been there. Wanting something that you can't have, or in your case, you shouldn't have. The self-hatred for wanting someone, even though you're nothing but wrong for that person." Jace paused. "I saw it in your face when I came in. I know that you think all of this is your fault, and although I like to think it is too, we all put ourselves in this very situation, right along with you. Emily is old enough to make her own choices, so I'm not telling you to stay away from my daughter." Chase lifted his head, genuinely shocked at the words coming out of this man's mouth. "But be warned," he pointed a finger at Chase when he turned his head to meet his gaze, "I'm taking over your training. Expect the worst."
Chase, despite the slight threat, smiled. "I look forward to it." At least now he'll get his ass kicked in the way he deserved. He had no doubt Jace would make him sorry for what happened, and that's kind of what he wanted.
A knock came at the door, and they both turned when Clary poked her head in. "Is there room for two more?"
Jace nodded and stood, waving his wife inside, but Chase frowned. "Two?"
That was when he finally saw her. Clary pushed the door open the rest of the way, stepping inside and immediately went into Jace's arms. He protectively wrapped them around her, her back to his front, and kissed her cheek.
But Chase's gaze was completely entranced in Emily, in the way she looked at him, the look in her eyes, the state she was in. She looked amazing, but awful at the same time. He could tell that she hadn't gotten any sleep. Black circles rounded her eyes, which were red to begin with. Her hair was a disaster in the bun at the nape of her neck, not that he minded. He always liked her like that better anyway, fresh from a fight and dangerous looking. She still had her gear on and a strange look in her eyes.
She didn't smile either, closing the door behind her as she stepped inside. Whatever she had on her mind, it wasn't good.
Emily went straight to her father, mainly so she could collect her thoughts and think about how she was supposed to explain to Chase. How she was supposed to explain her disappearance, where she went, what she did. Just the look on Chase's face showed that he was both happy to see her, but also angry, which she didn't blame him for.
Jace wrapped his arms around her when she approached, and she was suddenly sandwiched between her parents, her mother at her back and her father at her front.
"Hi, baby," her father whispered in her ear as he kissed her hair. He pulled back, cupping her face and looking down at her. "Where were you?"
Emily swallowed, looking away momentarily. "Tessa and Jem finally showed up." Jace's eyes widened. "And if you don't mind, I want to talk to Chase." She glanced over at Chase, who sat on the bed. He was just staring at her, eyes wide and worried.
Clary moved around her daughter, grabbing Jace's hand. "She already told me everything," Clary explained. "Let's leave them alone, okay?"
Even though she could tell her father was reluctant, mainly because he shot Chase a look, he still left regardless after kissing Emily on the head. And then, she and Chase were alone.
Neither knew what to do, and Emily didn't even know where to start. She stood there, wrapping her arms around her torso and trying to figure out what to say, or how to say it. Her heart was pounding so quickly that she was sure he could probably hear it, but nothing slowed it down. She was freaking out about... everything!
"You look like you've been crying," Chase said, sitting all the way up and sliding to the edge of the bed. He didn't get up and move any closer, but watched her with insight. "What happened while you were gone?"
"What didn't?" That was when she lost it. She could feel the tears coming again. They had been coming for the last hour that she spent with her mom. Clary explained what happened, who… didn't make it, and the realization still hadn't hit Emily to a full extent.
Her brain just wouldn't believe it. All she wanted was for everyone to be okay, but that was never the case when you're a Shadowhunter. People die. People suffer. People change.
Arms suddenly encircled her body, pulling her into a taller, stronger figure. She let him hold her, let his warmth surround her as she finally let it all go. She held back with her mom, not wanting to cry in front of her when she already had enough to deal with, but now, with Chase, there were no barriers. There was no reason for her to hold back. She grabbed his shirt with her fists, buried her face in his neck, and cried like the girl that she was.
"Shh, it's okay. It's going to be okay," he whispered. His arms wrapped tightly around her, and she found herself lifted bridal style as he carried her to the bed. Her eyes stayed closed, even as he laid her down, plopped down beside her, and pulled her into him. She held him like a lifeline. Her body shook. Her tears didn't seem to stop, and she was crying so hard she could barely breathe. But what else would her reaction be?
Conan was dead. When her mother told her that, it didn't really sink in. But now, she realized just what that meant.
He was gone. He was… forever gone.
It had only been about an hour since she found out, but it hadn't completely sunk in. Yes, she was crying. Yes, she understood that she'd never talk to him, see him, hug him, smile with him, or anything else ever again, but she had a feeling that until she actually saw him or Kadan, saw them lying there, unmoving, she wouldn't really believe it completely. Her mind refused to believe it, but the way that Chase held her, rubbing circles on her back and kissing her hair, told her that he knew as much as she did. He knew that Conan was gone.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered after a long time, and pulled her even closer. Every inch of her was pressed to every inch of him, and she felt the calm take over for a split second. His thighs were against hers. His chest against her chest. It was the only comfort she wanted right now, and the pounding in his own chest started to relieve hers. "Emily, this is my fault and I'm so, so damn sorry."
She took a deep breath, breathing in his smell and as much oxygen as she could. But no matter what she did, she couldn't find her voice. It was like something was pressing down on her, on her throat, on her chest, on her stomach, and she couldn't control it.
"I never wanted him to get hurt," Chase continued. "I never wanted you to lose him." Of course he would've known. Emily hated this, hated feeling so weak in front of him, but she clung to him like a life-saver, letting his voice slowly calm her down.
He pulled back, just barely, but it was enough for her to loosen her grip on him. His hand came up, cupping her cheek and she felt the heat that had been radiating off of him shoot from her face to her neck, to her chest, and stop at the pit of her stomach. His thumbs brushed over her cheeks and under her eyes, coming away wet with tears.
Her eyes closed at his touch, trying her best to block out everything that's happened. Then she felt something other than his fingers. His lips. They moved across her face, kissing away the tears that had started to slow. One hand slid down her body stopping at her hip. His fingers pushed her shirt up, slowly and carefully, until his hand was covering her side and rubbing slow circles. The back of his other hand moved across the skin of her face and neck as he placed chaste kisses all over her.
And she finally started to calm down while something else started to build. The feeling of his lips on her skin caused a fire that was finally able to block her mind. But it wasn't enough. Glimpses of Conan and Kadan kept coming, of how they looked on the floor, of the smiles and laughs before all this happened, and she didn't want to think about that now.
So, without warning and hesitation, she reached up, grabbed Chase's face, and pulled his lips to hers roughly.
The tears were salty on his lips, and although he was surprised and hard at first, he eventually opened up and let her have him in any way she needed. She just didn't know what she needed.
He slowly, carefully moved on top of her, pushing her back into the sheets until he covered her completely, every part of him touching every part of her. His hand dug into her hip, releasing a moan from her that she couldn't stop, but then he froze. His whole body froze, from his lips to his hands, and he pulled back.
"What's wrong?" she asked, wishing that he would just let her forget. Why did he have to stop?
He sighed, looking from one of her eyes to the other. "Emily…"
"Please don't say what you're about to say."
He closed his eyes, dropping his head to her chest. Her hands immediately went to his hair, playing with it as he breathed her in. "Emily, I have to say it."
"This is my choice," she told him. "And I know what you're thinking. I'm here to tell you everything, and I'm going to start with saying that this isn't your fault."
"But it is." He shook his head, his curls tickling her chin. "It's all my fault. I started it, and you lost your best friend because of it."
"That's not true." She pulled against his hair, lifting his head so their green gazes could meet each other. This time, a single tear ran down his cheek, and she brushed it away with a kiss to his cheek. "Chase, I'm old enough to know where the blame should be placed, and you're not to blame."
"Then why do I feel like it? Why do I feel like you shouldn't be here? You should be with him, at the Institute with everyone else, and if I actually thought about someone other than myself, I'd leave. You deserve someone better. These roles should be reversed. I deserved to die, not Conan. He never deserved any of that, and you–"
She cut him off with her lips, pulling him to her to get him to stop talking. This was what she came to clear up, to figure out. Knowing him, he blamed himself for everything, and she'd spent the last three hours trying to figure out how to make him understand that she didn't blame him. Even if everyone in the world blamed him for what happened, she knew better. If she was in Chase's place, she would've done the exact same thing to get her family back. It wasn't his fault entirely.
But no words could stop him from feeling that way. She wasn't ignorant. He'd have to get over that feeling in his own time.
Instead, she placed one last kiss to his lips, the lips she craved more than anything, and pulled back against her own will. "How's your leg?"
It was almost as if he didn't register her question for a moment, before his eyes widened and he glanced down between them. "It's healing pretty quickly. Caterina had her hands full with all of us."
"I'm not hurting you, am I?" she asked.
He shook his head. "If anything, I'm the one that dealt all the pain lately." He looked back up at her and pressed his forehead to hers. Both their eyes closed, just taking in the pressure of their bodies being pressed together everywhere. "And I'll never be able to make it up to you, to make up for what I've done to you. I understand if you never forgive me for what happened."
"I already have," she whispered, touching his face with her fingertips. "Chase," her gaze dropped to his lips, before moving back up to his eyes that were locked on hers, "why won't you just believe me when I tell you that you're not to blame?"
"Because your father is about as certain as I am that it's my fault." Chase lifted himself up, and rolled off of her. He didn't go far, but as soon as he left her Emily felt a chill go through her body. He sat there, on leg pulled up and his arms draped over it as he stared straight ahead. "And you're father and I both believe that if I hadn't opened that pyxis, none of this would be happening. None of this would've happened."
"Lilith still would've come after my family." Chase shook his head, as if he didn't believe her. "I'm serious." Emily sat up, crawled over to him, and sat behind him. He didn't move as she wrapped her arms around him, placing her cheek on his back and her legs to his side. "Chase, would it help if I explained it to you?"
He shrugged, his hand gripping her calves and Emily pretty much took that as a yes.
"Lilith was never after your family," she confessed. Her conversation with Tessa and Jem came flooding back again, and the words poured out. "She was always after the Clave, and the bit she did to my family was mostly because of Jonathan's grudge. But what she wanted most was a position at the Clave."
Chase stiffened, his stomach tightening under her fingertips. "How would she have accomplished that?"
"Using Gemma." She paused for a moment, letting her words sink into him. "She was going to use Gemma and the possession to work her way into the heart of the Clave, to rip it apart from the inside. She would've used anyone honestly, any Shadowhunter she could get her hands on, but one thing led to another after a while, and Gemma fit the bill perfectly for her little intrusion."
"How is that? My sister wasn't exactly known around the Clave."
"But she would've gotten the sympathy vote. That goes a long way, believe it or not."
"Not in my experience," he mumbled.
Emily felt the pain in his voice, felt it in his shoulders when she moved her hands to massage them. She felt the tension in his neck when she moved his hair to kiss the back of it. He was nothing but a ball of nerves at this point. "Chase, you need to know that this would've happened, regardless of your part in it. You, your sister, your family, even Leviathan wasn't supposed to be a part of it. Lilith used them because of convenience, but my family would've been involved eventually. She was planning way before any of us were even born."
"That doesn't stop the fact that I got Conan involved."
Emily's hands stopped, along with every other part of her. "What do you mean?"
Chase sighed, pulling his hands from her legs and rubbing his temples. "Conan was there because I told him it would help. I told him that if he could get everyone out – like his parents, Simon, Alec, then maybe it'll be easier on you, me and Jace when we went in." He shifted, turning so that he could look her in the eyes. "But I swear to you, I thought that they would just get in and get out. I never wanted him to get hurt."
"I know." She reached up, her hand cupping his cheek. There was a bit of stubble, but she liked it and his eyes closed at the contact. He leaned into her hand, and she watched him intently as she spoke. "I know that you and Conan didn't exactly get along, but I know you, Chase. You knew what he meant to me, and I know that you'd never do that on purpose."
"Never," he confirmed. He kissed her thumb when she brushed it across his lips, causing a small smile to form on her own lips. "I love you too much to hurt you."
Her breath caught at his words. He'd said them before, but somehow it felt different. Maybe it was the look in his eyes. Maybe it was the way his hand gripped her thigh, digging into it. Maybe it was the fact that out of everyone, she needed him as much as he needed her at this point. She wasn't with her family, her brother, Karrie, but with him. She was with Chase, because he was the only one that could actually help her.
"And I'm never going to be able to apologize enough for taking him from you," he continued. He twisted completely, somehow pulling her onto his lap until she straddled him. He leaned back, looking up into her eyes with a thousand apologies, pain, and sorrow clouding the green in a haze. "But I'll do my best to make it up to you. I want to show you how terribly sorry I am. How it hurts me to see you hurting like this. And I'll do anything and everything for the rest of my life to make it better."
"I know," she smiled. Despite everything, somehow his words still made her happy inside. It was more than an apology, but a promise.
His hands came up, slowly. The fingertips that made her skin ignite slowly slid up her arm, trailing goosebumps in their wake until he passed her neck, her collarbone, up her jaw to her cheek. "But I still agree with your father."
She dropped her head to his shoulder, digging her face in his neck. "About what?"
"I don't deserve you." She tried to pull back, to look him in the eyes but he wrapped his arms around her too quickly, pulling her to him with a force. "I don't deserve you at all. You're too good for me. Too caring. Too loving. Too… perfect. You're father knows I'm not good enough for you."
"Have you ever thought that it may be the other way around?" she asked into his neck. He shivered under her touch when her arms came up, wrapping them around his neck and holding her closer to him.
"It couldn't be any other way than it is. You're the girl that deserves a prince, not a traitor. And I'm the trash that deserves to be on the street because of his traitorous acts. That's the only way I see it."
"You're not a traitor. You're the guy that did anything and everything for his family. I would've done the same thing."
He shook his head once. "You would've been smart enough to get everyone out alive. My plan only caused more deaths than necessary."
"We all made our choices," she said.
He sighed, obviously not believing her, and Emily just did the only thing she could think of. Chase wouldn't believe anything she said. His self-hatred was getting in the way, so she leaned back, took his face in her hands, and kissed him.
It was slow, not too much pressure and it wasn't rushed. She put everything into it, all the words he didn't want to hear, and hoped to the Angels that he'd finally believe her and understand. That's all she wanted. She wanted the snarky Chase who she could fight with, the one that challenged her, the strong one that was cocky, arrogant, and full of surprises. He tasted like him. He tasted like Chase, felt like Chase, but something was still off.
"What do I have to do?" she asked against his lips. She could feel the frown, feel the pain when her hands reached down, taking his and squeezing their interlocked fingers. "What do I have to do to make you understand that all I want, the only thing I want, is for you to go back to normal." She opened her eyes, searching his face as his own stayed closed. It looked like he was taking in every word, and she hoped to God that he actually was, actually believing her for once. "I want you to be that guy that I – for some damned reason – fell in love with. The guy that drove me up the wall for his own amusement, and tormented me to the point I wanted to kill you." She smiled slightly at some of their memories, like when she'd broken his arm, or the many times that he'd kill her demons just to piss her off. "That guy that changed into the love of my life so quickly, that I fell, without even realizing it." She leaned her forehead against his, their breathes mingling between them. "Where is that guy?"
She could feel him breaking, whatever that was holding him back was starting to shatter as his breaths started to quicken. "That guy is the reason all this happened. How could you possibly want him at all?"
"Because he's the one that showed me how vulnerability isn't such a bad thing." Chase's face twisted into one of confusion, and Emily kissed him chastely to keep him quiet. "We've both done all of this for our families, because we care. Caring makes you vulnerable, which is how Lilith was able to manipulate you, but that doesn't make you weak."
"Of course not," he answered. For a split second, she thought that something she said finally sank in, but then he spoke again. "It just makes me stupid."
"It makes you normal," she shot back. Her hands released his, and she brushed the hair off of his forehead with them.
His now free hands gripped her hips, pulling her even closer. "Is it normal for me to want you like this though? After everything I put you through, is it normal for me to feel like this?"
She knew exactly what he wanted. She could feel it radiating off of him, and off of her.
Her lips found his, her body scooting closer until she felt every part of him under her. "It's normal," she confirmed against his lips, "and the feeling is mutual."
That seemed to spark something inside of him, and their kiss went from slow and caring to fast and hard. His mouth opened under hers and it turned into a fire that she'd been begging for since all this ended. She didn't realize how much she needed it until she finally had it, and there was no way she was letting it stop.
She placed her hands on his chest, dragging them down to the hem of his t-shirt, and pulled. He lifted his arms, pulling it off and revealing himself to her. His body was perfectly chiseled, hard but soft at the same time. The beat of his heart pounded under her fingertips as she pushed him back, making him lie out under her, morphing her body to his as they lied together amongst the sheets.
His hand came up, and with a precision that she wasn't expecting, he was able to strip her gear from her body, leaving her in the tank top and pants that she always had under it. His mouth left hers, trailing across her cheek, down her jaw, to the place her shoulder and neck connected. He bit down, lightly, but enough to make strange things happen to Emily's body. Her hands tightened in his hair, pulling as he kept up the attack on her neck and pulled her tank top off, barely breaking contact with her skin. And as soon as the shirt was gone, he continued his assault. It felt amazing, a fire burning in Emily's stomach and she felt like she couldn't get enough, couldn't get close enough.
"Why are you so perfect?" he mumbled against her skin, his lips moving across her collarbone to the other side. "How did I ever end up with someone like you?"
She didn't have an answer. It wasn't that she couldn't come up with a good reason, but her voice had left her as soon as he started doing those amazing, delicious things to her body. And she was pretty sure that her mind was officially turning to mush.
He chuckled against her skin when she couldn't take it anymore and kissed him again, with even more fire than before. Her tongue pushed past his lips, fighting his for dominance, neither of them backing down.
His hands moved from her hips to her hair, pulling the bun apart until her fire hair fell down around them. She pushed it all to one side, and he used her distraction time to flip her over, pinning her beneath him without losing the connection between their mouths. He was smiling, actually smiling, and she reached up, feeling something on his cheek that she hadn't felt in a long time.
"Your dimples are back," she chuckled, pulling back enough so she could actually see it. "I missed it."
His smile grew more, but then it started to fade. "Emily, there's still some stuff we have to talk about." He paused, looking from one of her eyes to the other. "Have you talked to Karrie? Your brother? What are you going to do about–"
He grunted when she pulled him down roughly, shutting him with her mouth for what felt like the tenth time in the past five minutes. "I don't want to talk about that," she whispered. "I just want to do just this, to just let everything go for a bit, okay?"
He was still reluctant. "But, your parents are downstairs, along with Simon."
"I don't care." She reached down, looping her hands through his belt loops and pulling him closer. "We can deal with everything else later. I just want to forget for now, okay? I just want to have you, just like this, for now. We can deal with Conan, with Kadan, with my parents, with Isabelle, with everyone later."
He sighed, digging his hands into the sheets by her bed like he was trying to hold back. "Baby, now isn't the time to be doing this."
"Baby?" she smiled despite the situation. "You just called me baby?"
He froze. "Is that bad?"
She answered with a kiss, one of the many they shared in the past few minutes, and shook her head when she released him. "I love it."
"And I love you," he whispered back and she let herself go, let herself be consumed by everything Chase was, what he was doing to her, because as soon as it was over, the real world would come crashing down on her.
I have a question! I was going to end it here, to just let it stop now because school is starting soon and college work plus soccer makes for little writing time. But if you all want another chapter, one focusing on Alec, Magnus, Isabelle, Simon, Jace, Clary, Jordan, and Maia and how THEY are dealing with it, all you have to do is review and say so. Otherwise, I think I'm ending it. Well, maybe, maybe not. Stay tuned I guess, and we'll see what happens.