Chapter 43

Nathalie rolled over in the empty bed and sighed. Nikolas had left the night before and sleeping alone for the first time in weeks, she found the bed to be empty and lonely. Finally kicking the covers back, she rolled out of bed, pulling her yoga pants and one of Nik's sweatshirts on. Heading down the stairs, she stopped several steps from the bottom, seeing Lulu curled up with Ethan drinking coffee.

"Good morning" she said skipping down the rest of the stairs.

"Hey Nat" Lulu said, blushing.

"Hi" Ethan said brightly.

"Where is Spencer?"

"Your brother had to leave on a business trip and took him with him." Nathalie sank in to a chair. "So - what have you two been up to?" she asked mischievously.

Lulu blushed to the roots of her hair while Ethan grinned. "We just got up" he said, linking his fingers through hers. "And Lulu is in the process of drinking all my coffee."

"Lu!" Nathalie said in mock shock. "Coffee stealing is awfully personal, are you sure you guys have reached that point in your relationship?"

"You are evil - pure evil" Lulu said, sticking her tongue out at her.

"Why? Because I like seeing you blush? Ethan, don't you like seeing her blush?"

"I do" he teased, nipping at her neck.

Lulu snapped her head up, looking at Ethan. "You're on *her* side?"

He shrugged. "She scares me a little."

"Good boy Ethan" Nathalie grinned.

"How long is Nik gone for?" Lulu asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.

"A couple of days I think - he wasn't sure how long things would take."

"Are you going to see Gracie?"

Nathalie nodded. "Right after I shower. She was still pretty out of it yesterday but I promised I would spend the day with her. I have all her favourite books packed and we're just going to read and hang out." She took a slow steadying breath. Speaking about Grace made it all so real and the pain was nearly unbearable. It would be weeks before they would know for sure if the marrow transplant worked.

"How is your daughter doing?" Ethan asked carefully.

Nathalie smiled at him kindly. "She's hanging in - she's a tough kid."

"She gets that from you" Lulu said softly.
"That's kind of you to say." Suddenly uncomfortable with the attention, she stood up. "Well I better get going if I'm going to get there. Nice to see you again Ethan" she said.

"You too Nathalie."

"Tell Gracie I say hi and that I'll be in to see her as soon as she's allowed more visitors."

"I will -you guys have a good day." Nathalie bounded up the stairs and out of sight. Lulu watched her go and sighing, sank against Ethan.

"What is it?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"I just feel so badly for Gracie -she's so young and there's so much turmoil around her along with her leukemia."

He nuzzled her neck. "She's lucky to have such a loving mom."

"Did you get along with your mom?" she asked tentatively. She felt his body tense slightly. "We uh, we don't have to talk about her if you don't want to."

"It's okay - I just don't talk about her very much."

"Because you miss her?"

"Yeah" he said hoarsely. "She was one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She had this hand cream that she wore, I swear sometimes just before I go to sleep I can smell it."

Lulu pulled his arms tighter around her. "Did she watch you play hockey?"

He smirked at the memory. "Would not miss a game. I could always hear her when I was on the ice - she cheered so loudly. She got thrown out of a game once."

Turning her head, she looked at him in surprise. "No way!"

"Way - I got a double minor penalty and she thought the ref was out of line so she lost it on him, screaming at him - it was the only time I ever heard my mom swear" he chuckled. "And the ref ordered her removed or my team would have to forfeit the game"

"Did she leave?"

"Grudgingly." Nestling in against him, Lulu tipped her head back and reached for his lips. He pressed his lips hard against hers. "I was with her when she was murdered" he whispered, so quietly Lulu was not sure she had heard him correctly.

Turning around, she straddled his lap. "Oh Ethan."

With memories flooding back, he bit his lip to keep his emotions in check. "You're the only person outside my family who knows."

Cupping his face, Lulu stroked his cheek with her thumb. "I am so sorry." He nodded. She nipped at his lips. "Thank you for trusting me" she said softly.

"I do, you know." His blue eyes shone through the pain. "I do trust you."

"And I trust you."

"Lulu" he looked at her intently. "I think I might be falling in love with you."

*******

Looking at her daughter sleeping peacefully, Nathalie stood up and stretched. She had been in her room for over six hours and despite Grace beign asleep for most of that time, she persisted in reading all of the books she brought with her and when she was done with those, she sang to her, told her stories about her father and held her hand. Dressed in a gown, mask and gloves, she wanted nothing more than to have her skin touch her daughter's skin but the danger of infection was so high she didn't dare do anything that would jeopardize Grace's health.

Emotionally drained, Nathalie kissed her gloved hand and put it against Grace's cheek. "Bye baby girl. I love you so much - I'll be back to see you tomorrow. Sleep well my angel." Exiting the room, she tiredly pulled the mask from her face and the gloves from her hands, depositing them in the bin outside her room. Looking up, she saw a familiar face, leaning up against the wall, looking through the window of the room across from Grace's. "Hello again" she said.

Bruce looked up, biting back the smile of satisfaction threatening to cross his lips. "Nathalie, right?"

"Yes" she smiled. "Anthony, right?" He nodded. Walking towards him, she looked in the window and saw a young girl, bald from chemo. "Is that your daughter?"

"No" he sighed. "My niece - she has a tumor on her leg and if this round of chemo doesn't work they are going to have to amputate."

"Oh Anthony" Nathalie said sympathetically, leaning against the wall beside him. "I am so sorry."

"Thanks" she shrugged. "Your daughter?" he asked, motioning to Grace's room.

She nodded sadly. "Leukemia."

"Cancer and kids - it's a painful combination."

"It is." Nathalie studied his face, trying to see past the similarities with Drew and see him for who he was. "Are you going to go in and see her?"

He shook his head. "I just...I ...god it's so hard" he said, pressing his fists into his eyes to stop the tears.

Nathalie put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know how hard it is."

"I guess you do, don't you?" he sniffled. "And that's just my niece -you seem to be holding it together given the circumstances."

Nathalie smiled weakly. "Some days - other days I just hope to fake it enough that no one can see what's really going on."

"Not even your husband?" he asked innocently.

Grimacing slightly, she stood up slightly. "No husband - my boyfriend."

"Ah. Is he here?" he looked down the hall as if searching.

"No - he's traveling at the moment." Bruce nodded. "Are you married?"

"No - this is my brother's daughter." He sighed heavily. "Do you ever get used to it? I really want to be there for him but I don't know exactly what to do?" Biting his lip, he watched as Nathalie fell for his ploy.

"There's lots of things you can do for him."

"Care to tell me how?" he asked hopefully.

"Let me buy you a coffee"

"I am sick of the coffee in this place - how about a real drink?"

Nathalie paused for a moment and looked at him carefully, recognizing the fear and defeated look in his eyes. She had been the beneficiary of such generosity and support from the people in her life she felt an obligation to share it. "A real drink sounds great" she smiled brightly. "Jake's?"

"Perfect." Getting her to play along was easier than he had expected. They walked down the hall and out the hospital doors on their way to Jake's.

********
She waved to Coleman as they took their seats. Nervous energy was coursing through her, twisting her stomach in knots. Chalking it up to Anthony being a doppelganger for her dead husband, she ignored the feeling in her stomach and smiled at him. They ordered beer and feel in to an easy patter with each other.

She listened attentively as he told her the heartbreaking story of his niece and the rounds of chemotherapy she had been through to battle the tumors. Nathalie felt tightness in her chest when she heard that his brother and sister-in-law had gone through a difficult divorce and protracted custody battle. With her tongue loosened by two beers, she told him about her custody battle and how her parents had taken her son, fresh from bone marrow surgery, from the hospital and back to Virginia. Anthony gave her a sympathetic smile and patted her shoulder. Out of nowhere tears started to stream down her cheeks and she smiled nervously at him.

"I'm sorry" she said, wiping furiously at her face.

"It's okay Nathalie – god you've really been through the ringer."

She nodded. "It hasn't been easy but my boyfriend and my friends have been so incredibly supportive."

"And you've been so supportive of me" he said leaning in. "You know, this is the first chance I have had to speak to someone about how I'm feeling. I love Annie so much –more than life but I just haven't been able to talk to anyone about how scared I am."

Nathalie put her hand over his. "I know – unless you're going through it, it's hard to explain it to others."

He nodded. "Another round?"

Checking her watch she realized she had no where to be and no one expecting her. "Sure – I'm just going to pop to the ladies' room and fix my face."

Beaming at her, Anthony gave her hand a small squeeze. "Nothing to fix"

She smiled awkwardly and headed to the back of the bar. Coleman was leaning up against the wall as she walked past. "Hey Coleman"

"Hi Darling" he smiled. "Who's your friend?" Having an uneasy feeling about Nathalie's companion, he was direct in his questioning.

"I met him at the hospital – his niece has cancer too – we're just comparing war stories."

He nodded. "Where's your old man tonight? I'm hoping him and the doc will duet on karaoke."

She let out a small giggle. "Oh what I would pay to see that! He's away on business and Patrick and Robin are off to Italy – so, sorry – no karaoke from us tonight."

Coleman grinned. "Too bad for me then. Be careful darling – you're one of my favourite customers."

Nathalie leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "And you are my favourite bar owner." She winked at him as she pushed open the door to the ladies' room.

Shaking his head, Coleman walked back to the bar. He did not like the feeling in the pit of his stomach. There was something in the air and if he was noticing it, it couldn't be good.

Returning to her seat, she clinked bottles with Anthony and took a long drink of her beer. With some gentle prodding, he began to peel back the layers. He was a painter who had spent several years studying and working in Europe. He spoke passionately about his love of the great masters and how on his first visit to the Sistine Chapel, he lay on the floor and shimmied from one end of the room to the other in order to fully appreciate the wonder of Michelangelo's creation.

Nathalie was enraptured by his stories and closed her hand over his. Moving closer to her, Anthony put a hand on her leg and stroked it gently. Nathalie swayed slightly on the stool, feeling overwhelmed by his touch. He kept talking as his hand worked further up her leg. Instinctively, she parted her legs slightly.

"You're a beautiful woman" he whispered.

With an almost euphoric feeling, Nathalie leaned in and closed her mouth over his. He plunged his tongue in her mouth, tangling it with hers. Trying to move closer to him to deepen the kiss, Nathalie fell from her stool.

"Whoops!" she said laughing loudly. Anthony jumped from the stool and helped her to her feet. She swayed as she took a step and felt her stomach lurch. "Ouf! I'm not feeling very well."

A knowing smile formed on his face. "That's okay Nathalie, why don't you come home with me and I'll take care of you."

"Okay" she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "I don't know how well I can walk though – how much have we had to drink because I may be turning in to a lightweight."

"Nah" he pressed his lips against hers. "You're not a lightweight – you're perfect."

Looking at him cross-eyed, she smiled sadly. "You look like my dead husband – I kind of wish you were him."
"I can be whoever you want me to be baby."

Coleman put down the glass he had been washing – he did not like the scene unfolding before him one bit. Walking over to them, he put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey darlin' everything okay?"

"Coleman! You are one sexy man – do you have a girlfriend? I should find you a girlfriend."

Narrowing his eyes, he looked past her at Anthony. "What's going on?"

He shrugged. "Too much to drink and not feeling well, I was just going to see her home."

"That's okay man, I got it." Coleman tightened his grip on her.

"It's not a problem for me to take her home – I would be happy to help her."

"I just bet you would. I said I got it – she's a friend of mine and I promised her boyfriend I would look out for her so feel free to run along."

He opened his mouth to protest but realized he had lost. Plan B was not going as planned. "Bye Nat" he said, dropping his hand from her waist.

"Bye Drew" she said, slurring her words.

Coleman stood holding her and watched as the stranger left the bar. Once satisfied that he was gone, he turned his attention back to Nathalie. "Okay sweetpea, something is not right here."

"You know what's not right? I'm a sexy woman who is going to sleep alone tonight – do you want to sleep with me?"

"Another time sweetheart" he said, leading her to his office in the back. He settled her in a chair and stuffed a cushion on either side of her so she wouldn't fall out. Pulling his rolodex from the drawer he began to flip through his cards. "They picked a fine time to leave you all alone. How about I call Lulu?"

"NO!" Nathalie said quickly "She's…she's…sex with her new boyfriend – can't interrupt the sex." Sighing loudly, she closed her eyes. "I need some sex – are you sure you don't want to sleep with me? I'm really very good."

He swore under his breath and reached for the card he needed. Dialing the number he gave a brief synopsis of the situation before hanging up. "Okay sweetheart, help is on the way."

"I need so much help Coleman" she said slumping in the chair. "I don't feel very good."

"I know you don't – just hang tough though."

"My husband killed himself – drove his car in to oncoming traffic – somehow he thought that would be less painful than dying of ALS. I didn't know he was sick – I'm a terrible person."

Coleman swallowed thickly. He had recognized her as a damaged kindred but never knew why, now that he did, he wished he didn't. It wasn't long before Noah came bursting through the doors of his office, carrying Rian.

"Doc Drake" Coleman said, nodding at Nathalie.

"NOAH!" Nathalie said excitedly, bouncing from her chair. She nearly toppled over but struggled to stay upright. Walking to him, she stroked his face. "How come we've never hooked up? We should hook up now – you are a hot, sexy man."

Blushing to his roots, Noah looked from her to Coleman. "She was in here with some guy she met at the hospital. She's only had a couple of beers, I've seen her put back way more. I can't prove it but I think he slipped something in her drink."

He nodded, recognizing that Nathalie was clearly not herself. "I appreciate you calling me." Reaching out, he took Nathalie's hand. "Hey Nat" he said softly. "Do you think you can come to the hospital with me?"

"Why?" she asked worriedly, her eyes filling with tears. "Is it Gracie? If something happens to her I won't be able to go on. I'm not strong Noah" she said, rambling. "I'm not strong, I'm shut down – I just make sure I don't feel anything –it doesn't always work and if something hurts too much I don't know what to do"

"Gracie is fine" he said reassuringly. "I just want to…we just need to check a few things for you – Nikolas asked that you do this for him?"

"He did?" she sighed. "I love him so much – we aren't going to make it but I love him."

Noah closed his eyes briefly. He had known for a long time that Nathalie stuffed her pain to the side, moved it out of the way so she could function and while it had worked for quite some time, if you were looking for it, you could see parts of it seeping out. It was obvious to him that the combination of Grace's illness and the approaching anniversary of Drew's death were sending her in to emotional overdrive. Whatever the cause of her strange behaviour was, it didn't take away from the truth she was telling. "Let's go sweetheart – I'm going to take care of you."

"You're a good man Noah" she sighed. "And you too Coleman!"

"Bye darling – you be good for Doc Noah."

She smiled brightly. "I will."

******
It had been a short walk to the hospital and seeing how his hands were full, Epiphany offered to take Rian while Noah settled Nathalie in to an exam room. She hadn't been there long before she began to vomit. Her gag reflex seemed to be off and she swallowed as much as she spit out. Moving quickly, Noah and the nurse turned her on to her side, with her head off the bed in an attempt to keep her from choking. A second nurse came in to draw blood.

"I want a full panel of tests run – I'm pretty sure I know what's going on but let's cover off every possibility. I want those results back asap – this cannot wait." The second nurse nodded and left quickly.

"What do you think it is?" the first nurse asked.

"I think someone put GHB – the date rape drug – in her drink."