I own nothing…nothing!

^&^&^&^

The Desoto's engine revved down as it pulled into a picnic area that was about a mile away from the college campus, coming to a stop in a large open clearing. Opening the doors, Spike and Buffy emerged, looking around in confusion.

"So, why exactly are we here?" Buffy questioned, looking about. "Think transforming-car-demon-thingie wants to kill us where no one can see?"

"I doubt that, Slayer." Spike stated, glancing up. "I think he wanted us to see that."

Buffy raised her own eyes, taking a step back as 4 white hot meteors shot above them. Instinct caused her to grab Spike's hand, watching as the 4 each veered off. Seconds later, the ground began to shake.

^&^&^&^

"I'm telling you, Gandalf would totally kick Boba Fett's ass." Jonathan stated.

Andrew shook his head. He, along with Jonathan, were sitting in Warren's basement, bickering about, to them, the most important things in the universe. Warren, for his part, was trying to figure out how to create a freeze gun or a fire gun or something of that nature…Andrew hadn't bothered to ask.

"To insult the greatness that is the Fett man is to bring forth the wrath of God!" Andrew proclaimed.

BOOM

The three looked up as the house shook.

^&^&^&^

At the Magic Box, Anya and Giles were about ready to close up after a late night inventory when they found themselves thrown to the ground, incense showering down on top of them.

^&^&^&^

Spike and Buffy ran towards the treeline, following the fire trial and making it just in time to watch the meteor that had crashed in the forest unfold into a sleek, bipedal…thing…and dart away.

^&^&^&^

"This is so amazing!" Andrew crowed as the three of them ran towards the impact sight. "This is a billion times better than Armageddon, I swear to God!"

"Would you stop saying that!" Warren snarled.

"Look!" Jonathan shouted, pointing to a dark shape that moved behind a house. "What the hell is that thing?"

^&^&^&^

At an upscale auto lot, one of the sleek bipedal aliens jumped from the roof, examining a Porsche.

^&^&^&^

"Anya, I don't think this is wise…" Giles called out as the two of them headed for the remains of the donut shop, which was now little more then a pile of concrete and lumber.

Ignoring him, the former vengeance demon screwed up her face as a massive metallic creature pulled himself from the wreckage.

"Nice going!" She shouted. "Xander loved that donut shop! Now he'll be all moopy and refuse to give me orgasms. Thank you so much, you hideous…robot thing."

The giant robot glanced at her, confused, before making his way towards a proper vehicle to scan…and away from the crazy woman.

^&^&^&^

20 minutes later, Buffy and Spike found themselves once more in the Desoto, being driven now through a what could best be described as Sunnydale's warehouse district…aka Vamp Housing Projects.

"Bringing back old memories, Spike?" Buffy muttered as they pulled up behind one building. The Desoto let loose a near ear shattering squeal, several vampires and demons quickly leaving the area.

Spike rubbed his forehead. "I am in pain and I hate the person I'm with…yeah, like old times."

"Hate me, Spikey?" Buffy asked sarcastically. "You didn't hate it when you grabbed my hand."

"Oi! You grabbed my hand, ya daft bint."

"I so did not…"

"Did too."

The Desoto revved its engine, bring to the two supernatural beings' attention that they were no longer alone.

As they had been bickering, a black truck, a silver Porsche, a green Hummer ambulance and a massive blue and red semi with flames painted on the nose had pulled up into the alley, idling quietly.

"Friends of yours, mate?" Spike asked the car.

The semi shuddered, its hood cracking apart, grill sliding together and a thousand other bits and pieces began to move on their own, rearranging their form. Spike and Buffy took several steps back as the semi seemed to fold in on itself while also expanding, pieces of the engine, undercarriage and cab all twisting rapidly as the semi…stood up.

Before them, towering over the two, stood a red and blue humanoid robot creature, his great face nearly as large as Buffy herself. Lowering himself down, the massive blue head, with its shining azure eyes, took them in carefully.

Behind them, the other vehicles transformed as well, taking on humanoid forms.

"Are you William Pratt, also known as William the Bloody, Childe and Drusilla the Mad, GrandChilde of Angelus, mortal son of Henry and Anne Pratt?"

Buffy glanced nervously at Spike. "It knows your name."

"Who wants to know?" Spike demanded.

"My name is Optimus Prime. We are autonomous robotic organisms from the planet Cybertron."

"But you can call us Autobots for short." The ambulance robot said.

Buffy nodded. "Less of a mouthful."

"What's crackin', little bitches?" The Porsche asked.

"My first lieutenant. Designation, Jazz." Optimus stated.

Jazz nodded, noticing a car abandoned by some of the minions the Desoto had scared away. "This looks like a nice place to kick it!" He flopped down, reclining against the car.

"Uh…how did he learn to talk like Flavor Flav?" Buffy asked.

"We have learned Earth's languages from the World Wide Web." Optimus gestured towards the black truck. "Our weapons specialist, Ironhide."

Ironhide spun two cannons out, pointing them at Buffy and Spike. "You feeling lucky, punk?"

"Easy there, gun boy." Spike snarled.

"Just kidding. I just wanted to show you my cannons."

"Our medical officer, Ratchet."

The ambulance, Ratchet, sniffed. "Hmm…the female appears to be both hungry and…I believe the word is horny?"

Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Just the adrenaline." Buffy muttered.

"You already know your guardian, Bumblebee."

Spike chuckled. "That's the best you could come up with?"

Bumblebee cocked his fists. "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!" Muhammad Ali's voice cried out.

"His vocal processors were damaged in battle." Ratchet said, firing a laser at Bumblebee. The robot groaned, letting out metallic squeals. "I'm still working on them."

"When you're done with that, mind giving the chip I got in my noggin a zap?" He turned to Optimus. "Now that we have had the pleasure, why the bloody hell are you here?"

Optimus did not let Spike's frustration bother him. "We are here looking for the AllSpark. And we must find it before Megatron."

"The whatie-what?" Buffy asked. "And who is Metatron?"

"I believe he's Carter Daniels." Spike stated.

"Megatron." Optimus said, touching a button on the side of his head. Suddenly, a projection appeared below Spike and Buffy, the two leaping back as they saw a strange alien world appear around them. "Our world was once a grand empire, peaceful and just. That is…until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All that defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the AllSpark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, only to crash land and become frozen, unable to activate. Captain Henry Pratt found him during his last expedition to the North Pole."

"My father." Spike whispered. "Is…is that why…"

"He activated Megatron's guidance system…the flash destroyed your father's mind…but more than that, it etched the location of the cube upon his glasses."

"How did you know about his glasses?"

Optimus pressed another button, an image of a Peer Site appearing…and the smiling image of Dawn's personal page, along with pictures about her report.

"Of…course." Buffy muttered, looking down at her watch. "And what do you know...Tuesday."