Chapter 47

Noah snapped his phone shut and leaning back against the couch, stared up at the ceiling. Tears had threatened to fall on a regular basis in the days following Brenda's departure but he wouldn't give in to them but after hearing her voice, hearing that she missed him, he was out of resistence. He let out a long, slow unsteady breath as the tears tumbled forth. Nathalie held his hand, stroking it comfortingly.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"She misses me" He was as surprised as Brenda when she blurted it out.

Nathalie smiled. "Of course she does - she may not be able to say it to you Noah but she loves you - very much."

Wiping at his wet cheeks with his free hand, he lifted his head and looked at her. "We were talking about you before that phone call came - you were telling me about Drew..."

She shook her head. "That discussion is being tabled in light of new evidence, your honour."

He let out a small laugh. "Is there anything more pathetic than two people who hate taking about themselves trying to get each other to talk."

"Not really, no."

"She really misses me" he repeated. Everyone - Patrick, Robin, Nathalie - had all tried to convince him that Brenda cared for him but he couldn't allow himself to believe it - he couldn't afford to have false hope - the consequences to being wrong about it were too severe for him.

Squeezing his hand, Nathalie wiped at the tears that had started again. "It's a first step Noah - I'm glad Robin got her to call."

"Did you know they were going to Rome?" he asked narrowing his eyes.

She smiled sheepishly. "I did."

"There's no conference, is there?"

"Remember Operation Bring Patrick Home?" He nodded. "This is Operation Get BrenNoah back together."

"BrenNoah?" he chuckled.

"That was Lulu's contribution."

"I should be angry you know."

She shook her head. "All Robin is doing is giving Brenda a nudge in the direction she wants to be heading in. It's okay to let people help you."

Noah arched his eyebrow and looked at her pointedly. "Really? You understand that you are a study in contradictions, right?"

"Do as I say, not as I do" she said, smiling. "Listen, I really should go -it's late and I'm going to check on Gracie."

Moving to stand up, Noah pulled her back to the couch. "Okay but a few things before you go..."

"Oh lord" she sighed good naturedly. "I'd say you sound like my father but wow, that would be an insult of monumental proportions."

Noah's face remained serious. "If there is any change to your health - vomiting, headache - whatever, I don't care - do not tough it out, call me immediately." Nathalie nodded. "And you need to tell Nikolas what happened when he comes home."

"He doesn't need to know" she protested. "He will only worry and it's over."

"Nathalie" he said kindly "someone tried to assault you and you need to tell him - he'll be so hurt if he ever finds out from someone else."

"Are you going to tell him?" she asked in a panic.

"I can't - I'm your doctor and am bound by confidentiality but more importantly - I'm your friend and I want you to know you can trust me."

Her chest tightened slightly at his kindness. She had met Noah several times over the years but much like Nikolas was an unexpected gift so too was her friendship with Noah. "I do trust you" she said softly.

He nodded. "I hesitate to bring this up but you do know that your medical records can be subponeaed, right?"

Nathalie closed her eyes. "You know" she said opening her eyes again, "I've always been a private person and the idea that so much of my life is part of the public record makes my skin crawl."

He rubbed her shoulder. "Don't worry about it - concentrate on taking care of yourself, Gracie and your baby - let your friends man the barricades for you."

"You are such a good man" she said pulling him in to a tight embrace. "I'm glad you got your phone call."

"Me too."

Nathalie let go of him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "It seems inadequate to say but thank you for taking such good care of me - I'm lucky to have you."

"It goes both ways Nat - you've been very good to me too."

"Okay -I've got to run" she said, jumping up from the couch. "It's okay to hope Noah - it's okay to hope for Brenda." She slipped on her coat and gave him a small wave before sliding out the door.

Nathalie's words echoed in his head long after she had left. "It's okay to hope for Brenda."

He did hope for her - he wanted to hold her hand again, feel her silk hair brush against his skin. If she ever came back, he would lock them in his apartment and just love her for days. Much like his son, he had been a playboy in his younger days never getting too caught up with one woman, always ready to move on to the next. But then he had met Mattie and she changed everything - through her he had found that he actually had a great capacity for love and he liked sharing that part of himself. Apart from the loss of her love with her death, he also grieved the loss of having someone to love. The guilt at having been unable to save his wife drove him to the bottle - the fear of being alone with no one to love kept him there. With Brenda he had found another person to love - a person who needed his love.

Stretching out on the couch, he closed his eyes thinking back to the last time they had been together before she ran. He had come off a 48 hour shift with two difficult surgeries back to back that had sapped him of his strength and had literally collapsed in his bed. Brenda was already in his bed, sound asleep or so he had thought. "Rough night?" she had asked.

"Yeah" Sitting up, she had moved to him and pulled his t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. "Brenda, I'm too tired"

"Shh" she said, rolling him on to his stomach. Straddling his hips, she rubbed his shoulders working to undo the muscles knotted there. He let out a soft moan as he felt her hands on him. She ran her thumbs along the thick muscles of his lower back, warming his skin and forcing the tension from his body. She said nothing as she continued to massage the broad expanse of his back; occasionally she would let her fingers trace over his skin, touching him lightly and Noah would moan in response. Leaning over him she placed a soft kiss at the base of his neck. Despite his exhaustion his body began to respond to her touch. He could feel her dampness through the thin material of his boxer-briefs. He rolled on to his back, keeping her on top of him.

"Hi" he said softly, his eyes filling with desire.

"Hi" she smiled back. "I thought you were tired" she said feeling his arousal grow underneath her.

He trailed his fingers up her leg, running them over her engorged folds. "Did I do this to you?" he asked huskily.

Brenda bit her lip. "I'm sorry - I really was just trying to make you relax"

Lightly tracing his finger over her clit he smiled as he watched her nipples darken and harden and her body shiver. "Don't apologize. Not for this." He shifted underneath her, his erection begging to be released from its confines. She arched her body, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back as he moved his fingers all along the outline of her centre. He watched as her stomach tightened in response to his touch and smiled as she opened her eyes to reveal dark pools of lust. Falling forward, she crashed her mouth over his as he rose up to meet her. He threaded his hands through her hair, bringing her closer to him. His tongue swept in to her mouth, tangling with hers and both moaning at the sensation. She pressed her breasts against his bare chest, her hardened nipples rubbing against him. "Oh Brenda" he moaned into her mouth. Her hips ground against him, eliciting a hiss.

"You're wearing too many clothes" she panted.

"I guess we should do something about that" he replied, equally breathless.

Moving off of his hips, Brenda began to move his underwear down while covering his torso in slow, wet kisses. She traced the outline of his chest with her tongue, grazing his nipples with her teeth. His entire body was on fire from her touch, his heart hammering in response to her kisses. Finally getting the boxer-briefs off, Noah groaned as she wrapped a hand around his cock and stroked it slowly. Closing his eyes, he arched his hips forward pushing more of himself in to her hands. Dropping a kiss on the sensitive head, she smiled as Noah breathed in sharply when she closed her lips around him. She worked her tongue around his length as his hips bucked involuntarily. Desperate to taste her, he slowly pulled her away from him and laid her on her back. He assaulted her neck with kisses while grinding his erection against her legs. Her skin tasted of vanilla and cinnamon and the heady combination sent his senses reeling. He kneaded one breast while lavishing the other one with his tongue. He sucked her nipple into his mouth and Brenda lifted from the bed as he did so. He knew that she had had many lovers but he also knew that it was unlikely that any of them loved her as he did. Her legs parted as he dragged his tongue over her hip. Brenda moaned and fisted his hair as he kissed her between her legs, working his tongue around her clit before diving it inside her.

"Fuck Noah" she cried, her head thrashing from side to side as he continued to taste her. Taking her sensitive nub in his mouth he easily slid two fingers inside her and pumped them slowly, feeling her walls constrict around them.

He lifted his head briefly and gazed lovingly at her. "You are so beautiful" he said throatily.

Brenda bit her lip to keep from crying out again. She slung her legs over his shoulders as she rode his hand. His teeth grazed her most sensitive spot and her body trembled in response. He kissed his way back up her body as she ached with a need to be filled by him. He pressed his lips hard against hers and as they parted, her tongue darted out to meet his. She sucked greedily on his lips and pouted as he pulled away, kneeling up. He lifted her leg, letting it rest against his shoulder as buried his now throbbing cock deep inside her. "God Noah" she hissed. Having agreed to a committed relationship and being tested, they had dispensed with condoms.

He stroked her leg as he began to thrust in and out of her. They locked eyes sharing a look that was equal parts hunger and love. Noah brought his thumb to her clit and worked it in tiny circles forcing Brenda to quake and shiver as her first orgasm washed over her. Unrelentingly, he continued his ministrations as a second orgasm took hold and she cried out his name while gripping the sheets. Unable to hold back any longer, Noah gave in to his release and came hard inside her. He collapsed on top of her, spent and breathless. She pushed his hair from his face kissing his forehead softly, her hands lightly traced over his back.

"I love you" he whispered against her skin when he could finally speak.

"I know" had been her response. He knew she wanted to say it back to him, he could practically feel the words on her lips but she couldn't bring herself to take that leap.

He opened his eyes and saw that he was clutching a pillow. He needed her to come home and for the first time since she left he was ready to believe it was a possibilty.

*******

"You know I could have had Nikolas' driver take us" Lulu offered as she walked along the sidewalk holding Ethan's hand. "It's not like he has much to do."

"I'm not a big fan of cars" he said simply. "Besides it's not that far to the MetroCourt."

"Why don't you like cars?" she asked curiously. "Is it an enviornmental thing?"

"Something like that" he said, not meeting her eyes. "Have I told you how great you look today?" he said in an attempt to change the subject.

"Flattery will get you everywhere with me." She stopped walking and pulled him back to her so she could kiss him. They had been virtually inseperable since they slept together. Ethan had spent the night at Wyndermere and with the large mansion to themselves, they had taken to exploring as many rooms as they could. Lulu wasn't sure she would ever be able to be in the library again without blushing.

"You seem nervous" he said breaking their kiss.

"I'm meeting your father - of course I'm nervous." She pulled on the fingers of her gloves. "What...what does he know about me?"

He stroked her cheek with his gloved hand. "He knows I'm dating an amazing, incredibly cool girl I met at university."

She looked at him suspiciously. "He doesn't know..."

Ethan shook his head. "No - in time Lulu - whenever you're ready."

She smiled gratefully. "I know I don't have a lot of experience but I'm fairly certain you might just be the best boyfriend in the world."

"Might?" he joked. "What is this 'might' shit? I let you win at Grand Theft Auto last night - I know that makes me the best boyfriend."

"Let me??" she repeated incredulously. "It's sad that your poor ego won't admit the truth - that I beat you...again..."

"Whatever" he dismissed waving his hand in the air.

Lulu took her toque off as they stepped in the hotel lobby. She ran her fingers through her hair shaking it out "I should have got my hair cut - or put it in a ponytail or something - it's all messy."

Ethan smiled amusedly at her. "I keep telling you you're beautiful"

"Do you think he'll like me?" she asked as they stepped into the elevator.

He pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. "He's going to love you" he paused briefly "like I do"

Lulu sucked in a breath and stared up at him. "Yup - best boyfriend ever."

He brought his mouth down on hers, running his tongue along her lips. They pulled apart as the doors opened. Nervous at the meeting the person who was most important in the world to Ethan she slipped her hand in to his and took a deep breath. He rang the doorbell of the suite and smiled as a short, older woman opened the door.

"Hi Danielle"

"Ethan -it's good to see you."

"Thanks - this is my girlfriend, Lesley Lu - Lesley Lu this is my dad's secretary, right hand, chief organizer and the brains behind the operation - Danielle"

"Hi" she said shyly.

"Nice to meet you - come in, Douglas is just wrapping up a call."

They walked in to the suite that was a hive of activity. The fax machine spit out pages at a time and Ethan's father was pacing the floor, cradling the phone between his ear and his shoulder while he scribbled on a note pad. Seeing them walk in, he smiled broadly and waved at them. Lulu let go of Ethan's hand only long enough to take her coat off. Douglas motioned for them to sit down and Danielle brought over a pot of hot chocolate. Ethan grinned at her. "Not so scary, right?"

"Says you" she said pressing her hands around the mug. "Remind me of this when you meet my father."

"The legendary Luke Spencer - I can't wait..." he teased.

"You may live to regret those words."

"Okay - we'll we're only through the first month of the three month temporary order" Douglas said on the phone as he continued to pace. "I can't see the judge granting an appeal yet - that woman's life is still all over the map - I heard she was picking up a man in a bar last night." He continued to write as the person on the other end of the phone spoke. "I'm not worried about that - the leukemia thing may win her some points, it may not."

Lulu stiffened as she realized that he was talking about Grace and Nathalie, though she was confused about the bar comment.

"Listen, listen - we have the trump card - there's a girl in the house with HIV - we'll just use that against them and it's a slam dunk."

Ethan snapped his head up, looking at his father. He turned to Lulu who had paled and her bottom lip trembled. "Lu.."
"Don't" she asked holding up her hand.

"He doesn't know it's you..."

"Doesn't matter, does it" she whispered. "I'm a weapon to be used against my friends." She stood up and prayed her knees would stop shaking long enough that she could make it to the door.

"Don't go" he pleaded, just as Douglas ended his phone call.

"I'm sorry about that kids - work is a bit of a beast at the moment." He walked to Lulu and extended his hand. "Douglas Young, Ethan's father."

Lulu shook his hand, her green eyes blazing. "Lulu Spencer, Ethan's girlfriend and the girl in the house with HIV."