Chapter 50

"Miss Nathalie? Dr. Drake to see you" Alfred said, ushering Noah in to the room. Nathalie had spent the nigh on the couch in front of the fire. After convincing Ethan to go in search of Lulu she got lost in her head, weighing the pros and cons of her decision to withdraw her appeal. She wondered if Drew would approve of how she was handling things. Much like Patrick, he was a more sensitive person than he let on to be and the idea of people being hurt because of him would have been abhorrent to him. She spent hours wondering how much damage all of this would to do to her children – would they be more damaged if she continued or if she backed off? Her only concern was that they grow up differently than she did – that they know love and never be afraid of it. Looking up, she smiled. Noah looked different than he had even a few days ago – there was light creeping back in to his eyes. Dressed in black pants and a dark green cashmere sweater with a white shirt collar poking through, she couldn't help but notice that he was standing taller giving off an air of confidence.

Noah was not as impressed with how Nathalie looked. Her eyes were heavy and her face pale. Her red hoodie was zipped up halfway and her white t-shirt underneath was wrinkled. He wondered if it was possible she had lost weight in the short period of time since he had last seen her.

"Good morning Noah" Nathalie said moving to get up.

He waved her back to her seat and sat on the other side of the couch from her. "You haven't slept" he observed.

"Oh I did – here and there" she said dismissively. "What brings you by at" she looked at her watch "7:25 in the morning?"

Opting to table the discussion about her lack of sleep until later, he decided to dive in and break the news about Ethan's father. "Lulu didn't have a very good night last night- she went to meet Ethan's father and…"

Nathalie cut him off. "I know" she said quietly. "Ethan was here looking for her last night and told me that my parents are going to make her HIV status an issue if I proceed with the appeal."

"Oh." It was becoming clearer to him why she looked so tired.

"How do you know about it?" she asked kindly.

"Brenda phoned me because Lulu phoned her."

Nathalie raised her eyebrows. "Two phone calls in less than 12 hours – well that's an interesting development indeed." Noah's cheeks flushed slightly. "And it is a subject we will return to shortly but why did Lulu call Brenda?"

"She wants to go stay with her in Italy." Noah filled in the details about how Brenda secured a room at the MetroCourt for Lulu and that he was on his way over to speak with her.

"I should call Ethan, he was out of his mind with worry last night. Give me a minute to call him and put some shoes on and we can head over there together."

Narrowing his eyes, he watched as she scrambled from the couch. "You're supposed to be resting."

"Lulu needs as much support as she can get – it's the least I can do for unleashing this hell on her. I called Nik last night but got no answer – I promised him I would look out for his sister and I intend to do just that."

Noah was left shaking his head at her steely determination. After only a few minutes, she came back downstairs, having changed into jeans and a red turtleneck. "Ready?" she asked.

"Okay – let's go" he said, putting his hand against the small of her back. "What did Ethan say? Is he going to meet us there?"

"No – he'll wait here at the house – I don't want her to be overwhelmed."

Noah had resisted all of Nathalie's hints to tell her about his phone call with Brenda. It wasn't that he didn't want to confide in her but he feared that if he spoke too much about it, it would somehow dilute the memory for him.

Frowning as he became aware of a slight tremble in Nathalie's hand as she knocked on the door, he noticed she tried to smile brightly and distract him from whatever observation he was currently making. "Nathalie…" he started. The opening door cut off any further communication.

Lulu looked from Nathalie to Noah in surprise. "You guys don't look like room service" she remarked dryly.

"Crap Noah, I knew we forgot to bring something – where is the Captain Crunch?"

"That was your job" he said playing along.

"No – my job is to be pretty; your job is to bring food."

"Why can't I be the pretty one?"

Lulu rolled her eyes. "If the Smothers Brothers are done with their morning routine…."

"Can we come in?" Nathalie asked.

Shrugging, Lulu stepped out of the way and let them through the door. Despite Jax having provided her with a suite, she had had little use for the bed or most of the amenities. Much like Nathalie, she had spent the night sitting on the couch thinking. "Dare I ask what brings you both here?" She flopped on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her.

"We heard you had kind of a crappy night" Nathalie offered.

"How?"

"Brenda." Noah said

"Ethan." Nathalie said at the same time.

"Ethan came to see you?" she asked in shock.

"No" she shook her head. "He came to see you but as you weren't there I forced him to spill his guts to me."

"And Brenda called you?" she asked, directing her question to Noah.

"She's worried about you."

"I'm fine" Lulu said with a confidence she didn't feel. It had been a long night. She had repeatedly flipped open her cell phone, starting one new text message after another to Ethan but never sending them.

"Lulu" they both said at the same time.

"Oh god" she said in mock horror. "You both have your mommy and daddy voices on. Listen" she said, suddenly standing up and pacing. "I'm fine – I'm going to go to Italy for a while, hang out with Brenda, flirt with Italian men and then when this stuff blows over, I'll be back – no biggie."

"Lu, you don't want to flirt with Italian men, you want to be with your boyfriend" Nathalie said quietly.

"My boyfriend's father is trying to wreck your life Nathalie – if I leave then he can't use me against you."

"You're not dating your boyfriend's father – at least I hope not – so stop punishing Ethan for something that isn't his fault – that boy is crazy over you."

"And Lulu" Noah began. "You leaving town won't likely change their plans."

She rubbed her hands over her face in frustration. She desperately wanted to be graceful about her situation – she wanted to be like Robin and stay above the fray but it was proving harder to do so than she had ever imagined. "I can stop this.."

"Actually you can't but I can" Nathalie said. "I called Alexis last night and I have withdrawn my appeal of the temporary custody decision and will wait to present new evidence of my fitness as a mother when the judge reconsiders it all in two months."

Both Noah and Lulu looked at her in shock. "Oh Nathalie" was all Noah managed to say.

"You can't do that" Lulu said, stomping her foot.

"I can and I did." She straightened her back. "It's done."

"No!" Lulu whined. "You can't give up fighting for your kids because of me – I don't care what they say about me." Her voice was frantic. "I really don't – but Nat – they need you – Gracie needs her mom – not your evil parents."

Standing up, Nathalie walked to Lulu and taking her by the hands pulled her on to the couch. "I care" she said firmly. Reaching out, she stroked the young girl's face. "I care what they say about you. I'm not giving up fighting Lulu; I'm just taking a different route. It is not Ethan's dad who is trying to wreck my life, it's my parents. And they will stop at nothing to get what they want. They will drag all of my friends' lives before the courts – yours, Patrick's, Robin's, Noah's" she said looking over at him. "Every painful detail will be dissected and examined, put in the public record. I will not let them do that – I cannot let them do that."

"But what if you win the appeal…."

"I'm not going to win the appeal Lulu – there is no way."

"Nathalie…." The young girl's green eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry."

Nathalie wrapped her arms around her. "You have nothing to be sorry for Lulu – absolutely nothing. You are so good to my children and to me – I'm sorry –I'm sorry that my mess of a life has caused you even a second of pain."

Lulu sucked in a breath and squeezed Nathalie, aware now of the enormity of the choices she has had to make. "Even if your parents don't love you, there are tons of us who do" she whispered.

Nathalie smiled at her kindness. "Thanks Lu." Pulling away from the embrace, Nathalie stood up. "Listen, your very worried and very sweet boyfriend is waiting for you at Wyndermere and I think he'd really like to see you. I'm sure Noah would be happy to escort you back there." Giving Nathalie a curious look, he nodded.

"Where are you going?" Lulu asked.

"To the hospital to see my daughter" she smiled. Reaching for her coat she put it on and stood up straight, putting her shoulders back. "Lulu – you picked a good one in Ethan – be kind and gentle with him – he's struggling too."

"Okay" she said hoarsely.

"See you both later" she said brightly, waving as she exited the door. Her legs felt weighted down as she walked to the elevator. It had never been in her nature to back down from a fight but she couldn't carry on. The cost of winning was too high as was the cost of losing. Placing her palms on the wall she took several long, slow breaths to steady herself.

"Nathalie?" She felt Noah's strong hand on her back. "Let me take you home."

Biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying, she straightened up and forced her lips into a smile. "Thanks Noah but I'm okay, I'm going to spend some time with Gracie – I wasn't there at all yesterday."

"You are not okay." His voice was firm. "Give me Nik's number; let me call him for you."

"It's fine really – he's off doing Cassadine stuff and doesn't appear to be reachable."

"You need to rest – you are on the verge of collapse."

"I will rest, with Gracie." The elevator sounded and the doors slid open.

"Nat." The warning in his voice was clear.

She shrugged his arm off. "I can't do this right now Noah –please take Lulu home. I just…I need to hold my daughter."

*********
"If we're late, I'm blaming you" Robin teased as Patrick pulled his brown argyle sweater over his white dress shirt.
"Me?" he asked innocently. "Please. You were the one who wanted to show me the sights."

"The sights of Rome Patrick – not of me – you all ready see those sights enough."

Doing up his belt, he turned to face her. "Okay, first of all, there is no such thing as seeing enough of you – I will never have enough of you, got it?" Robin grinned as she nodded. "And second of all, we saw the Pantheon – that's a sight of Rome."

"Oh really?" she challenged as she zipped up her red skirt. "I don't know how you saw the Pantheon since you were groping and mauling me."

"Mauling? I was not mauling you."

"I was there, there was definite maulage."

"I don't recall you complaining" he teased. Walking to her, he zipped up the back of her black blouse and left a wet kiss just behind her ear. He smiled as he saw the goose bumps form on her skin. "Brenda will understand why we're late."

"I do not want to have to explain to her that we were late because we were having sex in the Pantheon."

"I think the ancient Romans would have appreciated us."

"I'm not sure that tour group did."

They walked hand in hand through the enormous entrance of the Pantheon. Patrick had marveled at the columns in front and like all the other tourists swarming the historical landmark, they tried to wrap their arms around the columns and found they could not touch each other. Robin, industrious as always, had her guidebook in hand and began to read from it.

"The original Pantheon was built in 27 BC-25 BC under the Roman Empire, during the third consulship of Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa, and his name is inscribed on the portico of the building. In 609 the Byzantine emperor Phocas gave the building to Pope Boniface IV, who reconsecrated it as a Christian church, the Church of Mary and all the Martyr Saints , which title it retains."

"Do you have any idea how hot I am for you right now?" he said, whispering against her neck.

"Paaatrick" she admonished. "Pay attention."

"Oh I am" he said, dropping her hand and walking behind her, his hands on her waist. He nipped at her neck, feeling her shudder under his lips.

"During the reign of Pope Urban VIII (died 1644), the Pope ordered the bronze ceiling of the Pantheon's portico melted down. Most of the bronze was used to make bombards for the fortification of Castel Sant'Angelo, with the remaining amount used by the Apostolic Camera for various other works." She carried on, trying to ignore his touches. She gasped as he let his thumbs graze over her nipples as they examined the walls. She cursed her responsive body as they pebbled and hardened.

"Don't these columns remind you of anyone?" he asked playfully as he nuzzled her neck.

Unable to stop herself, Robin let out a loud laugh. "Nice ego on you."

"You like my ego." He spun her around and pushed her against the wall, crashing his mouth over hers. As their tongues tangled with each other, they were oblivious to the looks of disapproval being sent their way. He moaned as his erection strained against his jeans. Overcome with desire for his wife, he pulled her into a deserted corner, behind a pillar. Pushing her skirt up her hips, he let his fingers trail across her centre, continually amazed at how wet she became for him. He slipped a finger inside her, exploring her slick passage.

"Patrick, this is so wrong" she said hoarsely as she pushed down on his hand and pulled him closer to her.

"No baby, this is so right. You make me so hot when you get all brainiac on me."

Her stomach tightened and her body twitched as a result of both his attention and the rush of being in public. "Do you…do you have anything?" she panted at him.

"Just like the boy scouts" he said, reaching for his wallet and handing it to her. She quickly pulled a condom from it and after handing his wallet back to him, unzipped his jeans and freed his arousal. Patrick hisses as her tiny hand wrapped around him, stroking him with one hand, while sheathing him with the other.

"We're going to get caught" she said even as her eyes turned to dark pools of lust.

"Don't care" he said raggedly, pushing himself into her hand. There had been no time for long, languid kisses or exploration of each other's bodies – his need for her was urgent. Patrick pushed her panties to the side and buried himself inside her. Their bodies began to move in unison, Robin equally overcome by desire. The sensation of his cock throbbing and pulsing inside her sent her spiralling over the edge and she bit his shoulder to keep from crying out. Patrick came hard against her.

He was just pulling up his zipper as Robin smoothed her skirt when they heard someone clearing their throat. Looking up, they came eye to eye with a shocked tour guide and some equally shocked seniors.

"It's okay" Patrick said, flashing his dimple. "I'm a doctor."

Robin's cheeks turned flame red and grabbing his hand, beat a hasty retreat out the door, howling with laughter.

"That's the one story the tour group is going to tell over and over again" Patrick said proudly. "We have given them memories for a lifetime."

Robin just shook her head and slipped her coat on. A wave of nausea ran over her but passed as quickly as it came. "Ready husband?"

"Yes wife."

"You will be nice to Brenda, won't you?"

"Yes wife" he smiled.

******

Brenda was a bundle of nervous energy when they arrived at her place for dinner. She fussed and rambled, shoving drinks in to their hands. Having difficulty meeting Patrick's eyes, she directed most of her conversation to Robin.

"Don't tell me – you're late because you needed a 'consult'"

Robin blushed and Patrick smirked. "Medical emergencies can crop up at the strangest of times" he said.

Brenda groaned and rolled her eyes. "Please tell me this…er…emergency didn't occur while visiting the Vatican? Pope Benedict has yet to recover from your last visit to Rome."

"Pantheon, actually" he offered.

"Patrick!" Robin slapped him playfully.

"Hey Brenda" Patrick said, well aware of her discomfort.

"Yeah?" she said continuing to look at Robin.

"It's okay to look at me, I got the Medusa thing fixed a while back."

Brenda sighed heavily. "I'm sorry" she said, meeting his eyes for the first time. "I just feel weird."

He smiled kindly at her. "No need to."

Robin sniffed her wine and put it back on the table. "Bren, could I trouble you for some Perrier or something. We ate some Street Meat on the Spanish Steps and it's giving me the worst stomach ache."

"No sweat, I'll be right back."

Patrick looked at his wife with concern. "Are you okay? You didn't tell me you weren't feeling well."

"I'm fine" she patted his leg. "But I have been tasting that sausage from lunch all afternoon – I guess I'm just not digesting it well."

"I'm sorry baby" he said, kissing her on the cheek. Brenda returned with a tall glass of Perrier and handed it to her.

"So, do I get Rian stories or what? How is my godchild?"

"Perfect" Patrick replied. "Absolutely perfect."

"But he misses his godmother" Robin said gently.

"Please – he's got you and your motley crew."

"Nope – he misses you" Patrick added. "We were watching hockey the other night and I was explaining to him how Dominic Hasek really needs to take his fragile, girly groin and go back to the Czech Republic and…"

"Who?" she asked in confusion.

"Just nod and smile" Robin said in a loud stage whisper.

"Anyway" Patrick said exaggeratedly. "Rian turned to me and said, Dad – I miss Brenda and I want to know when she's coming to hang out."

"You know – you're being awfully nice to me and it's creeping me out" she teased.

"Imagine how I feel" he retorted. Robin excused herself and headed out of the room. "Robin?"

"Just going to pee" she said "but thanks for making me announce that."

Patrick shrugged and took a sip of his wine. Brenda's legs bounced up and down as she pulled on the sleeves of her sweater. He watched her with a mixture of amusement and curiosity. His father was in love with this woman and while she was extraordinary looking, he knew it ran deeper than that. He tried to see her as his father did – to understand how this woman, this significantly younger woman, had captured his heart that had been untouchable since his wife's death.

"You're staring" Brenda accused.

"You're fidgeting" he replied. "Brenda – for whatever it's worth, I'm not angry with you."

Snapping her head up, she looked him with a furrowed brow. "You're not?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm not. And my dad isn't angry with you either – he loves you."

She sighed heavily. Talk of Noah exhilarated and pained her all at once. "I spoke to him" she said quietly.

"I heard. That's good." There was encouragement in his voice. "I'm sure he was happy to hear from you."

"I don't know – I hurt him pretty badly."

"He hasn't stopped loving you."

"Your dad is really good man Patrick – trust me, I have known a lot of men in my time and your father is a breed apart." She looked at him intently before dropping her eyes.

"He is" he concurred. "It may have taken me a long time to realize it, but my dad is possibly the best man I know." Brenda smiled but kept her eyes glued to the floor. "The thing is Brenda, my dad doesn't make hasty decisions – every move he makes has been carefully considered – and if he loves you it's because you have something special to offer."

"Patrick…"

Cutting her off, he carried on. "Now, I will disavow all knowledge of what I'm about to say if you ever try to get me to repeat it" he said, smiling warmly at her. "But I think you're pretty amazing – you have been an outstanding friend to both Robin and me – you were a rock following her car accident and you kept believing when some of us, like me, were having a crisis of faith. You are a good person Brenda, you are kind and loving and deserve good things in life – and that includes having someone like my dad in your life. Do what it is you need to do but know that you deserve my dad – and my dad deserves you."

Tears streamed from Brenda's face as she looked up. She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't speak. Getting up from his seat, he walked to her and kissed her forehead. "You're alright" he said quietly.

Robin came back in to the room, moving slowly causing Patrick's face to cloud over. She was pale and her eyes were red rimmed – she had clearly been sick. Leaving Brenda's side, he was by her in a flash and guided her to the couch.

"Robin – what's wrong?"

"I was just sick"

"I can see that."

"Um Patrick?"

"Yes" he said, pushing her hair from her face.

"Do you think we can go and get a pregnancy test?"