Chapter 19-Unsaid, Unheard
The next day, Roxas rose from bed with a heavy feeling in his chest, everything involving Xion, his mind swirling with many unanswered questions: who was he, was he another creation of the Organization like Xion, who was this Sora he had been hearing about and who was Roxas to him? Deciding he would never get the answers he wanted, Roxas came to the conclusion that Axel most likely had the answers he needed. As he emerged in the grey area, he noticed, to his relief that Axel was there, and no one else was around to eavesdrop or interrupt. He nonetheless felt conflicted knowing that if he asked Axel directly, there would be no going back. In the end, however, his burning desire for the truth overpowered his insecurities and he spoke up to his best friend.
"Axel" Roxas said despondently. "Hey, Roxas" Axel replied smiling until he noticed his friend's depressed face. For a small period, the two stood in awkward silence until Roxas finally asked "You find Xion?" "Like it's gonna be that easy" Axel answered light-hearted to try and alleviate the suffocating atmosphere. "I know..." Roxas said, as he lowered his head in depression. Axel's smile could only turn into a frown as Roxas refused to cheer up. "Have you been keeping the truth about her from me this whole time?" Roxas asked. Hearing this unsettled Axel for a time, but he nonetheless answered honestly "Not the whole time" "When did you find out?" Roxas asked. "Oh, I dunno. Somewhere along the way" Axel lied, attempting to spare Roxas's feelings. "Didn't get it memorized, huh?" Roxas responded, seemingly content with his response.
"Axel... Who am I, really?" Roxas then asked the one question he had wanted answered more than anything, which Axel had expected but was nonetheless hesitant to answer his friend's burning question. "I'm special, like Xion. I know that" Roxas then spoke again, to which Axel could only listen. "But the Organization wanted me out of the picture" Hearing this, Axel sighed and begrudgingly answered "Yeah... They did" "Is it because Xion copied my Keyblade and they didn't need me anymore?" Roxas asked, to which Axel once again hesitated to confirm. "And you feel the same way" Roxas said, which greatly alarmed Axel, who countered "No, you've got that part wrong. You'll always be my best friend" "Best friends are honest with each other!" Roxas exclaimed angrily. "Who am I, Axel?" At this question, Axel could only turn his head away in shame. "Xemnas said me and Xion are connected to Sora. Who is that?" to which Axel did not respond. "Tell me!" Roxas demanded furiously. "Am I a puppet like Xion?" "No..." Axel responded weakly. "What, then?" Roxas asked, gritting his teeth in frustration.
At this, Axel decided enough was enough and replied harshly "You really think the truth is going to make you feel better? It won't". Hearing this was the last straw for Roxas as his face contorted into pure rage at the statement, which made Axel cringe in shame. "What makes you so sure? I have a right to know who I am! How did I get here? Why am I special? Where did I learn to use the Keyblade? I deserve those answers!" "Roxas..." Axel said weakly. "Are you going to tell me or not?" Roxas asked, his face filled with pain as he gritted his teeth again. "Axel... Who am I?" Roxas asked pleadingly. "You've just gotta trust me, Roxas" Axel trying in vain to reassure his friend, to which Roxas turned away from Axel, shaking his head, having had enough. "I don't" Roxas stated bluntly. "Hey, c'mon..." Axel attempted to retaliate but was interrupted by Roxas. "If I can't get answers here, I'll get them somewhere else. Somebody knows where I came from. That'll be the person I trust" And with that, Roxas took his leave, leaving Axel to look on at his friend walking away, despondent.
Roxas had returned to Axel's room, staring at an ice cream stick with the word 'WINNER'."I tried, but... There's nothing left for me here. The answers are out there" After slipping the ice cream stick into an envelope, and casually throwing it on the bed as he left. Roxas began his trek through the castle, eliminating the Dusks and Samurais that stood in his way. When he eventually arrived in Nothing's Call, Roxas noticed a familiar blue-haired man standing with arms crossed in his way, with a smirk on his face. "We don't accept resignations" Saïx stated emptily. "I've got nothing to say to you" Roxas retaliated in an empty tone of his own. "Then let's keep this short and sweet" Saïx finished as he summoned his claymore, ready to fight. He then proceeded to clutch his head, as if he were in pain, until he rose his head sharply, and became engulfed in a demonic blue aura, with his weapon bearing extra blades as his eyes turned completely yellow, with a bestial look on his face.
Suddenly, Saïx disappeared in a flash of darkness, at first Roxas couldn't see where he went until he noticed he now stood on a higher vantage point and he suddenly charged towards Roxas, attempting to strike him with his claymore. Roxas was able to manoeuvre away, but was still caught by the power of the shockwave the attack created. Following this, Saïx proceeded to charge at Roxas with blindingly fast combo attacks. All Roxas could do was block with his Keyblade, and then, Roxas took the chance to land a powerful combo on Saïx, which stunned him and dissolved the berserker aura he was engulfed in. To finish the battle fast, having sustained a great level of damage, Roxas unleashed his Final Limit attack, striking Saïx with a blindingly fast combo of his own, inflicting major damage on the berserker. But before he could land a finishing move, Saïx repelled Roxas's attack, and began his transformation again. After casting Cure on himself, Roxas charged straight at him, and surprisingly broke through the aura again, and landed the finishing combo, defeating Saïx once and for all.
Out but not quite down, Saïx staggered to stand "Nngh... How much longer..." he said before he fell to his knees, clutching his chest with one hand in agony. As he did this, Roxas dismissed his Keyblade and walked past him without so much as a backwards glance. "Kingdom... Hearts... Will your strength never be mine?" Saïx pleaded in his agony, having almost completely disregarded the runaway. Out in the Dark City, Roxas proceeded on his way, a determined gleam in his eyes. Yet he did not seem to register Axel casually leaning against the wall with his arms crossed until he spoke "Your mind's made up?" he asked. Hearing this question, Roxas tilted his head to look at him, and said "Why did the Keyblade choose me? I have to know" "You can't turn on the Organization!" Axel called out, having peeled himself off the wall. "You get on their bad side, and they'll destroy you!" trying to convince him to return, but Roxas's response was what he expected "No one would miss me" he said indifferently and after that disappeared altogether. "That's not true! I would..." Axel said defiantly, but when he rose his head, Roxas was nowhere. "There's only one person Roxas could find answers from, but the boss isn't going to like it. I just hope he's satisfied with the answers he'll find" With that, Axel made his way back to the castle, steeped in despondency.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The next day, Sairu was practicing in the dimension within his watch with Lunar Bahamut observing, and just as Sairu was about to unleash a new attack, Lunar Bahamut suddenly brought him back to his bedroom in the mansion. Sairu had no clue as to why he was brought back here. "What's going on?" Sairu asked. "I sense him: Roxas. He's here in the town" Lunar Bahamut explained. "He's probably on a mission" Sairu stated nonchalantly, but Lunar Bahamut shook his head. "No, I sense a negative aura surrounding him. He seems despondent. We had better address this situation immediately" After a few minutes of contemplation, Sairu nodded. "Alright. But I'll go by myself; cover for me if DiZ notices" Lunar Bahamut nodded in return as he landed on the desk beside the bed, while Sairu created a dark corridor and disappeared.
Meanwhile, a despondent Roxas was in the Tram Common, sitting on the ground with his knees up to his face, a vacant expression in his eyes, in the alcove behind the clothing shop. "Searching for answers? What was I thinking? Where do I go? I'm all alone now, just me" he said to himself in an empty voice to match his expression. Then, he sensed that someone was watching him, and saw a figure in a black coat with long auburn hair that obscured the left side of his face, watching him with expressions of pity and curiosity blended into one. He then jumped down onto the ground in front of him. "I was wondering when we would meet each other again... Roxas" Hearing his name, Roxas immediately stood on his two feet, and summoned his Kingdom Key, ready to battle. "Stay your Keyblade, I have no desire to fight you. I came here to talk, that is all" Sairu stated matter-of-factly, holding his hand up to halt him.
For a few seconds, Roxas looked ready to battle, but then decided to relax, so he stood up straight, with his Keyblade in hand before he dispelled it. "You're... Sairu, aren't you?" Roxas asked curiously. Hearing this, Sairu gave a light chuckle at the mention of his name. "Yes, that's my name. And the fact you knew that, means you really are his Nobody, just as that Keyblade you hold is also identical to his" Sairu replied, which earned Roxas's curiosity. "Who is 'he'? You know him? Are you really going to tell me?" he asked curiously. "Yes, I will tell you everything. What you do after is entirely your choice, but do understand that what I have to say will be difficult to accept" "Even if that's true, I came all this way to know. I can't go back; there's nowhere I belong anyway. Sairu... please tell me".
"Very well" Sairu exhaled sharply, ready to tell him. "Well, I can tell you that you were born a very different way from other Nobodies, but primarily, you are still a Nobody, but with the power of a Keyblade. The power of the Keyblade can only be wielded by a select few, so based on this, it is safe to say that your original self had the heart to wield the Keyblade. However, your original self was only a Heartless for a very short time, so when you came into existence, you did not have the memories of who you were before. Does the name Sora mean anything?" Hearing that name, Roxas's eyes widened in realization at the connection between him the named. "So... Sora is my original self?" He summarized, to which Sairu nodded, all the while never losing eye contact with Roxas, which he confirmed to be true. "Yes, you are Sora's Nobody. You were born when he and I worked together to save the heart of a dear friend; the result was Sora lost his heart and transformed into a Heartless, but was restored not long after. Because the power of the Keyblade is a power that is highly desired, Sora since then became a target of the Organization, and it seems that Xion was the result of that desire. She was created to absorb your powers and your Keyblade, making you weaker with each passing day, so that in time... she would absorb you and become a complete Replica of Sora, thus preventing Sora from ever waking"
Hearing this part shocked Roxas: Xion was to destroy him, so to absorb him and become a complete copy of Sora? To others, it would seem impossible, but after everything he went through, Roxas felt he should believe it. "However, that doesn't mean it has to be so. Which means you have two choices: you can either be defeated by Xion, absorbed by her, becoming a copy of Sora and preventing the real Sora from waking. However, you can alternatively defeat her and absorb her into yourself, meaning you would get all your strength back, thus enabling Sora's reawakening so that he and all of our friends can defeat the Organization once and for all" Hearing this, Roxas instinctively grasped his head in both hands, feeling overwhelmed from the truth, and even began hyperventilating, but after a few minutes, his breathing got slower and calmer.
"I can see that it is overwhelming for you to have to learn of such an inconvenient truth. Even so, you have now been told the truth that you sought for" Sairu explained, attempting to reassure the panicking Roxas. When he noticed he had calmed down, Roxas didn't know what to say for a time until... "I see. Now I get why Axel wouldn't tell me, but still... what am I supposed to do now? Moreover, why would you tell me all this? Because of me, Sora will sleep forever" Hearing this, Sairu could only close his eyes and think before he answered "I was responsible for you birth, Sora and I both. We desired to save our dear friend and the process brought you into existence. By telling you such necessary yet sensitive information, I could only hope to redeem for the suffering we unintentionally put you through. If you never existed, you wouldn't have had to endure this, any of you. For what the Organization has put you through, I felt that you needed a companion that you could trust. I pray your suffering comes to an end in due time when you have decided. Farewell, Roxas, the Keyblade's chosen one" And with those final words, Sairu disappeared into a dark corridor but not before giving Roxas an apologetic look. After he was gone, Roxas could only stand, frozen in place in shock over the revelations of the past minutes, but not before he said "Thank you... Sairu"
Meanwhile, in the dazzling white room back at the mansion, Naminé was getting acquainted with a hooded individual. "Nice to meet you... Xion" she addressed as the figure removed her hood to show her face, then proceeding to take a seat opposite. "Naminé, you can see my face?" Xion asked curiously. "Yes" Naminé replied, smiling. "What do you think I should do?" Xion then asked, confused and downtrodden. "What do you want to do?" Naminé asked in retaliation, which prompted Xion to turn to a drawing of three figures dressed in black cloaks: Roxas, Axel and Xion herself. "I thought I knew at first. I wanted me and Roxas and Axel to be together forever" she answered honestly, then turning to face Naminé again as she continued. "But then I started to realise these memories don't belong to me". "That's because you're Kairi. At least, the Kairi Sora remembers" Naminé replied. "The more I remember, the more I feel like I'm in the wrong place... like... Like I need to go back" Xion resumed.
"Back to Sora?" Naminé asked, yet was sure she already knew the answer, to which Xion confirmed with a nod. "If you return your memories to him, you'll disappear. And since everything about you was built on those memories..." Naminé began as her tone descended into sad honesty, "... no one will remember you when you're gone. There won't be any 'you' to remember. I can't save you, Xion-even a memory of you" "I know. I'm ready. Otherwise I wouldn't be here" Xion responded in understanding. "Roxas belongs with Sora, too" Xion added sadly. "But... I don't think he would understand. Not yet" Hearing this, Naminé nodded in understanding."He can't feel Sora. But he will" Hearing her response, Xion then hopefully asked "Naminé, will you watch over Roxas once I'm gone? You won't be alone. I asked somebody else to look after him, too. It's just... there isn't anything else I can do for him"
"All right" Naminé responded. "Thank you..." Xion said gratefully. "If you're ready, let's go see Sora" But just as she had finished speaking, a dark corridor appeared, revealing DiZ with a concerned and enraged look upon his face. "Naminé, they've found us! They are on their way!" he said alarmed as he turned to face Xion. "That blasted puppet led them right to our doorstep! See what you get for trusting it?" he added disgustedly. "I'll get rid of them!" Xion spoke confidently, and ran off without another word. "No! Xion..." Naminé called, rising from her seat but her cries were just echoes in the wind.
Outside the mansion gates, Xion began looking for the intruders until a dark corridor opened, with a depressed Axel emerging, groaning to himself. "Why do I always get stuck with the icky jobs?" As he dismissed the dark corridor behind him, he stepped further towards Xion, who greeted him with a saddened expression. "Axel..." Xion addressed her friend. "Xion..." Axel responded solemnly. "What are you going to do?" he asked inquisitively. "I've decided that I have to go back to where I belong" Xion answered truthfully. "Well, to be honest, I always felt that was best, right from the very beginning. But you know, it still really bugs me. Something about this just stinks" he stated angrily with a clenched fist. "It's for the good of everyone" Xion responded simply. "But how do you know that? Everybody thinks they're right..." Axel retorted, annoyed. "This is right" Xion added defiantly.
"They're gonna destroy you!" Axel shouted back, and he noticed to his horror, that Xion had drawn her Keyblade although she wore a reluctant expression. "Please don't hold back, Axel. Promise" At this, Axel attempted desperately to hide his growing rage but couldn't hold back any longer as he bent forward, yelling "What's your problem? You both... think you can do whatever you want. Well, I'm sick of it" he angrily stated as he stood straight again. "Go on, you just keep running" as he rose his left hand and flames began forming until... "But I'll always be there to bring you back!" as his chakram appeared from the flames.
Later, after the battle, a staggering Axel had returned to Nothing's Call, with an unconscious hooded Xion in his arms, bridal style. "Man... Why you always gotta... cause me... trouble..." he barely said as he continued a few more steps, until, he collapsed altogether, falling to the floor as Xion landed beside him. As he laid unconscious, Axel never knew that Xion would be taken as he remained there as Xemnas approached them and picked up Xion, walking away with her under his arms.