Disclamiar: I don't own D. Gray - Man, some really awesome person does…
Important! Please read!
What if the Black Order happened across a dying Noah? The Order wouldn't let that kind of opportunity pass them by right? Because the Black Order is all about fu**ing with things they shouldn't. So I am taking that idea and mixing it with Kanda and Alma's past!
Allen is not a Second Exorcist! She is something else…
I'm sorry if you don't like it… but I had to… the stupid bunny wouldn't leave me alone!
Warning: Fem!Allen. Me and my crazy ideas… and keep in mind that Noah's are crazy…? Blood...
Special thanks to Belletiger BT! Your so cool for giving me ideas and helping with working out the plot bunny's! The title of this fic Belletiger BT came up with! Thank you! : )
To be trapped between life and death…
It was maddening.
To hear her fear and to see through her eyes… it was enough to break ones heart…
It was worse to know that he had the power to save the child that called to him without realizing it, only to be unable to summon it forth…
To close to death to save her, to close to life for her to awaken and save herself…
They both were stagnate.
It was unforgivable.
The red haired General stood before him, both of them beaten and bloody. The silver of the gun within the man's hand glinting with the light from the setting sun behind him. Cross's eyes narrowed and both of them preparing for the others next move.
His lips parted and a smooth musical voice sang out, cutting the cold of the air around them like a sharp knife. His voice was amused and yet not, because the weapon now pointed and aimed at him was definitely something that even the strongest should fear. The weapons name heavy on the tongue as it was spoken… "Judgment."
The fact that they had once been friends forgotten. They were enemies and even if Cross, Mana and him had grown up together didn't mean anything… not now...
This was war.
The pain…
It hurt…
The screeching that sounded from all round her. Loud and unforgiving in its volume and intensity, little Ellen's ears rang with the sound- the cry of anger. The room was filled with light, bright green glowing light. It burned and hurt her wide silver eyes, fear making her unable to move from her place in the far corner of the blood stained room.
"Unforgivable..." the musical voice of her Shadowy Gentleman hissed out...
Dark brown eyes flashed with mirth, they were in a dimly lit bar and the General was downing yet another beer. If the man kept that up, he would be blind drunk before long.
A heavy sigh past lips that were twisted down into a deep frown, the sound seemed only to amuse the Exorcist General even more. The Red haired man smirked and leaned back in his chair. "You should have a drink, loosen up some." The man said, his smirk stretching wider. "oh, that's right. Your still a fucking snot nosed brat."
He fixed the Exorcist with a angry frown, but held his tongue for another moment...
His lips twisted into a cold grin when the man took a swig of his drink, "Man Whore." he throw out, the red head choking on his drink a second later...
So many loud sounds, Ellen couldn't distinguish one from the other.
... She couldn't distinguish those waking dreams from what she was really seeing...
The crystal like Innocence was glowing a bright green, hissing in anger. The second source of green light came from above, white threads, looking more like feathers then anything else, tore open more of the metal ceiling…
The green glowing mass of white was also screeching with its own anger. Her blood surged through her veins and little Ellen could feel this things power and its buzz slicing through her skin.
It was…
It was so beautiful…
"I'm giving you Timcanpy." a musical voice spoke out, breaking the silence of the dark night. The only light was the full moon over head, the Exorcist General frowned but listened to him speak. "Take care of him for me…" his smooth voice continued. Cross frowned deeper and turned, his dark brown eyes filling with understanding…
The red haired man pulled his cigarette from his lips and blew out a cloud of smoke. When he spoke it sounded like he wasn't surprised with the request. "You're not coming back are you?"
An amused laugh rang out, then more words filled the night. "No, so do me a favor and look after Mana for me also. And tell him..." He paused, his eyes full of sorrow for leaving his older brother behind, but he had to do this...
If he didnt cut his ties with his brother now, then he could also be dragged into this sick and twisted war between the Heart and the Noah.
"Tell him that I'll keep moving forward, that I'll see him again soon."
The melody was all that existed, she could hear it calling out to her, that lullaby that she wanted to find oh so badly. This thing before her was singing it for her...
Her thin pink lips twisted into a smile, wide and filled with glee that was all consuming, Ellen knowing that the feeling was not hers… no, this happiness was coming from the mass of white now between her and the Innocence that had been ready to kill her…
This shinning white angel was happy to have found her, it had come for her, it was for her-
Ellen's small left hand reached forward blindly, her golden eyes no longer seeing, all that she could feel was the fear and the terror still rushing through her small frame, all that the small child wanted was to be safe and loved…
Hush, hush…
The soothing buzz sang to her, white feathers reached out and wrapped around her wrist, then slid up her arm…
Hush, hush…
Pain seared up her left arm, under her skin and strait down to the bones in her left arm. Little Ellen wanted to scream, her very being burning and hurting, and she didn't understand…
The vibration of hate was greater then the pain in his body, which was quickly going numb. Death was close, his blood was running freely from his beaten body now. His blood covering the ground in one great pool of red. Teeth clenched in a hiss of pain when he was pulled up from the unforgiving ground. His tired eyes now so hard to open, but still he forced his heavy eyelids to lift...
Gold eyes met glowing green….
Apocryphos. The right hand of the Heart.
A fully evolved Innocence… that was just like his luck to come across it alone…
The others mouth pulled into a cold smile filled with that deep hate. That 'sound' was becoming so loud that it was going to choke him, drown him…
"Don't die on me now. I have things for you to do.~" the other hissed. His blood stained lips twisted into a regretful smile. His gold eyes sliding closed again and a bitter chuckle hissed past his teeth...
"Go to hell."
The other giggled darkly, it's smile widening….
"Ah, I'm afraid not. Hell is where you'll be sending the others of your kind.~"
Hush, shh… hum… hush…
All those flashs that felt like things that she had forgotten were linning up, falling into their proper places and order…
Then the chaos and the blood flowed...
Tunes and sounds became silent.
Tears flowing from her wide golden eyes…
Her white angel tore at the men in red that were in the room, Alma's wide eyes focusing on the scene taking place within his testing room, his injuries almost completely healed as he pushed himself up from the ground.
Chaos, there was nothing but chaos…
Gray eyes looked upon the white stone laid town that was to the left and to the right of him, the old style buildings surrounding a garden and a stone tower off in the distance. The gray eyes turned up to look at the sky…
It was always such a light and clear blue, giving of the impression that it was endless…
A endless sky that was not as endless of it seemed…
Red trailed along the path that he had walked, the red falling in scarlet drops from numb fingers that were covered in that red. The crimson staining the white of the road of this timeless white town. A broken smile twisted open lips that wanted to do anything but smile.
He couldn't stop, he couldn't even warn them...
All that he knew was that red would stain this once timeless white, red would darken the sky that was such a sickening clear blue…
Because everything was such a broken and distorted sound to his ears now.
What had that horrid Innocence done to him? Why couldn't he stop himself from hunting down and killing the others...?
He wanted to warn them, but he couldn't get the words passed his lips as he moved forward. Joyd turned to great him, Toraido just to the Third's right...
The Second's eyes widening, seeing the look in his eyes just a moment to late...
"Innocence-!" A voice called out as the door behind her opened, more men in red coming into the room. Little Ellen turned her head and tilted it the right, her burning golden eyes narrowing. Her terror giving way to a unforgiving anger, rage that boiled up from her heart, calling for her to strike and to kill…
"Where the hell did it come from!" another voice called out in anger and confusion. "Restr-" Ellen's white angel's buzz hissed in anger, white shooting forth and imbedding into the chest of the one barking out orders.
Her angel was angry…
The small little girls lips twisted into a delighted smile.
She was safe...
…Hush…
A giggle clawing past her lips...
"Ellen!" Her Nii-san's voice cut threw her anger and her hate. The small child's eyes blinking and when they reopened they were silver once again. The young blond haired adult stood in the door way, five Crow in front of him.
Bak Chang's sound was twisted with fear.
Little Ellen felt pain burning in her heart, the child fearing the wieght of all the memories crashing down onto her all at once. It felt like she was drowning in them. The small child pulled her burning left arm to her chest, her lips whispering that lullaby, her angel's buzz shifting to hum along with her happily. The white feathers that had moved to wrap around her seems to relax…
A feeling of safety washing over her for just a second. Then the Crows were sending forth their binding spells and Ellen stumbled to the ground with the weight of the magic.
Edgar was then pushing his way into the room. The older adult moving past a confused Alma and pulling a syringe from his pocket, the small five year old whimpering as the man injected her with whatever was within. A second later and Ellen was fast asleep, all that she could hear around her was angry and confused sounds…
And still the memories continued to flow.
Joyd leaned heavily against the white wall, red running from the wounds that he had been dealt. Red smeared as the Third slid down the wall to the ground, the dark unforgiving color tainting the sickening white… this man wouldn't survive, the Third would not live through this…
The Second was all ready dead just a few streets back...
That tune was still flowing from the one before him. He couldn't stop until it was silenced. This hurt more then the other man would ever know, but yet he couldn't stop. The Third's hateful golden eyes burned into the eyes of the one that would take this life from him, and even though everything sounded so broken and warped and distorted, he knew…
Even if he was drowning in that roaring hateful 'sound'…
This couldn't be stopped, it was already to late.
He was nothing but a puppet.
Because the one that would silence the tunes of the others was never meant to be… he was never meant to be...
Everything hadn't always been so distorted to his ears, but now it was like he was surrounded by water…
But still it hurt, it hurt as his blood stained right hand rose.
Everything had a melody, a tune, a place to belong and he could hear it. He could hear it even though he was now deaf…
When had it all become so broken?
"Be silent." he whispered, because this needed to happen, there was no turning back. There was two more notes of broken sound, and then-
It was like he could finely breath, like he had finaly broken free from a nightmare that wouldn't end. The distorted melody was still there, it was threatening to pull him back under, some how he was able to take one more breath before he sank back below the surface... Everything once again distorting...
"It's broken… forgive me Joyd." he said, but the sound of his own voice was lost in the roar of that broken sea of sound around him.
Tears rained down, the flow endless…
Mixing with that beautiful red that would darken the sickening blue sky…
"…forgive me and become silent..."
"It isn't possible…" she heard Mr. Espain say sometime later, once the small frightened little girl could pull herself to the surface, past the memories that were trying to drown her. Though for some reason little Ellen couldn't open her eyes, and the voices around her sounded distorted. Though she could still hear the tunes and the sounds all around her…
"The Innocence ripped its way through Fu's barrier like it was nothing, not to mention the steel walls… the reinforced metal ceiling…" Edgar's voice spoke up, his sound laced with excitement and astonishment. "In the whole history of the Order…"
"It was protecting her… and now its fussed with Ellen's left arm…" Ms. Twi added thoughtfully, a soft hand moved to brush back some of the child's short white hair. Ellen basked in the caring touch…
Though the little girl was confused about the tone of her sound…
He fought to force air into his burning lungs, his body heavy and the pain almost to much. Though it would all be over soon, he could feel his life draining from him as his beaten body fought to give out on him.
Maybe this time he would finally be allowed to die.
A twisted grin pulling lips into a bitter and regretful smile as the young man stumbled.
Long fingers sinking into a blood stained white shirt, twisting and gripping the material in a futile effort to help with the pain. The overly large weapon in his other hand falling soundlessly to the ground, his numb fingers no longer having the strength to hold onto the handle. He fallowed a seconds later, his legs unable to carry him another step.
He couldn't walk any further.
But then, that was fine…
Golden eyes turned to the large broad sword that lay on the mud covered ground to his left. His lips pulling into a thankful smile. "Thank you… for staying with me to the end…"
A pulse of green light, and the weapon's shape twisted and shifted into a small glowing white and green stone. His smile pulled wider, sorrow tainting it and making it almost painful to keep. A hopeful hum from the Innocence at his side made the pain in his heart worse. He shook his head regretfully, his eyes sharp and his tone almost scolding, "Not this time I'm afraid… Now its time for you to go…before 'it' finds you…"
A mournful pulse and then the little green Innocence flashed and shot into the dark sky… leaving him alone…
The rain continued to fall, red mixing into the mud as his body seemed to sag. A regretful face tilting up to the dark grey sky…
Everything around him was almost silent.
"…Forgive me…"
Only Adam and Road had survived his killing spree... The Ninth only surviving because Adam had come just at the last moment...
The others were silent now.
Blessed silence.
"Thank you, my friend…" he whispered to the silence around him, because he was truly thankful to Adam for what he had done, for the wounds that would finally end his life. Death would be his salvation, because if he didn't die then he would continue with his killing. The thought of the blood that he had spilt made him sick, the thought of being a helpless puppet for even another moment much worse...
Tears continued to run from his half open eyes, they had yet to slow since he started killing the others. The pain in his heart worse then the numbing pain in his dying body, his grief for what he had done crushing. He could find no releif in the fact that there had been little choice...
He had been nothing but a puppet unable to resist its master...
A twisted laugh rang out, tears falling harder then the rain from the dark sky. His twisted and anguished laugh louder then the thunder above…
...Please let him finally be allowed to die…
"Can it be removed?" Mr. Espain said in a cold voice, and the child wanted to shiver. There was more murmuring, more talking but little Ellen couldn't make out what was being said. The darkness of sleep clouding her ears and distorting the words.
"So it was chosen by Innocence?" Ellen fought the darkness of sleep so she could hear what was said next. "…A Noah and Innocence… how interesting…"
"Mr. Espain…we have a visitor…" a new voice called from the door to the small little girls room. The last thing the small child heard before she fell into a deep sleep plagued by those horrible memories was, "Bookman? …What could they possibly want…?"
Every breath was coming harder then the next now. His body falling forward and into the mud. All that he could feel now was relief. Finally death would come for him and set him free from his torment.
A broken chuckle slid pasted his cold lips…
"I'm sorry… that I was…so weak…"
He was sorry that he hadn't been able to help in the war... no, he had been more of a liability...
"I'm sorry… that I couldn't make it back Mana…" he forced out, blackness clouding his eyes...
...Finally he would be free...
He would be free from being the Hearts and Apocryphos's twisted puppet…
He couldn't feel the pain in his body any longer… his body even numb to the chill of the rain.
His gold eyes unfocused, but still able to make out the shape of a pair of black boots when they entered his field of vision. They approached him and a second pair followed. Voices muttering and breaking the silence around him.
Then blackness...