Where I Stood Chapter 9, a mentalist fanfic

Chapter 9

It had been a week since Jane's release from the hospital and his house had already sold. He had scrubbed and painted over the spot that had driven him for so long, finally ready to move on.

Susan had tried to talk to him on multiple occasions, wanting to comfort him, but the guilt of what she had done was stopping her short. After seeing how miserable he had become because of what she did, she gave up on trying to be his and went to plead Jane and Lisbon's case to Minelli. But he held strong to the rules and didn't falter. So Susan apologized and left her replacement position.

Rigsby and Cho had come for most of the week after work to help Jane pack and move. They were both surprised to see all of his stuff going into storage. He told them that his plan was to travel for the next 6 months or so. He was leaving tomorrow afternoon and was very grateful that it was coming so soon.

It was late Friday night and he had told the boys to go and enjoy themselves. They said their goodbyes and handed him a card from Van Pelt. He had read it and smiled at the thoughtfulness from the red head. He would definitely miss them. Cho had also handed him an anonymous package that he had assumed was from Lisbon. It was square and wrapped in blue paper-the color of sadness. He hadn't touched it since he got it, nervous of what it could contain. Sighing, he figured that now would be the best time.

He slowly picked up the package, weighing it in his hand. It was rather light, which either made it a book or a CD. Undoing the tape in the back, he gave himself a point for guessing correctly. It was a CD with Lisbon's handwriting on the front.

Patrick-

Please just listen to this and read the letter as you go. It has the lyrics and my own notes with it.

-Teresa

Lifting the CD out of the paper, he noticed the folder piece of paper underneath. He opened it and read the little note at the beginning:

I was listening to this song and realized that it says everything I never could. It's called Where I Stood by Missy Higgins.

Where I Stood Lyrics

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none
There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found my self listening

Jane- I don't know why I did what I did. I should've been stronger and fought Minelli for this. Made him listen and plead our case to him, but I didn't and for that, I am sorry.

Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
Cause she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

You need to know that I do really care for you. All this week, I've have been listening to the team talk about this woman, Susan, who has been hitting on you since she walked through the door and it surprised me to feel jealous of this woman that I know you disliked enough to call me in for, but I feel as though maybe you should give her a chance. You could be happy with her and she sounds like she really likes you. Or at least that's what I thought you should do…until I really thought about us.

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

You didn't leave without giving me one last thing to think about and I listened. I took time to think about it and I am torn up about what to do and I was torn before you came into my life as a lover. It's harder than you can imagine.

And I wont be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me then any one I've ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself
And so I say to you, this is what I have to do.

Patrick-I will always be there for you whether you want me there or not. If you need help or just need to talk, I will be there and hopefully you will want me. I need you in my life, Patrick. I love you, Patrick and you have helped me more than you can imagine. Remember that conversation we had about trust? I trust you, more than you could ever know and I like have that feeling of trust. I have you to thank for that and that's why I want you in my life, Patrick, and that's why I made the decision to keep you in my life every day. I chose it so I could see your smile, have you there during a hard case, and just to talk to. I couldn't not have you there every day, Patrick. It's just not an option for me.

Thank you for listening and reading. Hope you have a good flight. I'll miss you.

I love you,

Teresa.

Grabbing his coat and keys, Jane raced out of the building, one destination in mind. He needed Teresa in his life and there was no way he could leave her.

Author's Note: Sorry for the OOC and the odd last sentence. This is the song that the story is named after. Hope you enjoyed it! One chapter to go : )

Thanks for reading!

hol