A/N: Fucking hell! That glitch was endless. Anyways...
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Escort to Happiness.
Seven.
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The next morning, for the first time in nearly six years, L left his blazer at home. He walked out into the city, opting to leave his fancy-looking car and giving Mello a possible hint that he might have a lot of money. L strolled down the concrete and felt good, light, as if he were no longer weighted with the daily woes of a businessman. Woes that Raito took all too seriously and he was probably at the office right then, worrying about all the things that would fall to his shoulders in L's absence.
The sign Rosie's Posies was large and yellow with hand-painted flowers and their stems wrapping around the letters. L spotted it from a block away and thought of Mello's face and how he had seemed so displeased to be working with him the day before. That would just have to change, L thought as he opened the door, because he was going to make this man happy, whether he liked it or not.
"Good morning," L greeted, the bell ringing above him.
Mello looked up, surprisingly the only one in the store, and he withheld whatever smile he usually offered newcomers, instead giving a tight-lipped, unreadable expression. The flowers smelled nice, at least, and L walked forward, his sneakers squeaking against the newly mopped tile.
"Rosie's out at her car," Mello said, propping himself up on his elbows. "She went to get your uniform."
"Is it as nice as yours?"
Mello gaped, offended. "Hey, you know, I didn't ask for this apron! You can't just walk around insulting-"
"You misunderstand," L interrupted, "I do think it is nice."
"Yeah, right."
He nodded. "It is right. I like the daisy around your name," he said and pointed to the leafed stem wrapping around the M on Mello. Mello groaned, looking away. L joined him in turning his direction towards the door as it opened, Rosie coming through with a green garment in her arms. She beamed at L's arrival and held out the fabric.
"Guess what I've got," she sang. "And it's just for you, L! Come have a look, see if you like it!"
L nodded and approached her around the counter. She held it up for his inspection and said, "I spent quite a while on it, I wanted to you have different flowers on your nametag than Mello's."
"Ah, a sunflower," he hummed and she grinned widely. He blinked and pointed to the nametag. "You spelled my name E-L-L-E."
"… You mean the name's not French?"
"I suppose that's one way to look at it," he hummed and in the background Mello snorted some mean-spirited laughter at L's expense. Rosie scolded him lightly with something along the lines of, "oh, Mello, shame on you…"
L shook his head, sporting a half-smirk as he took the apron from her. He donned it with a bit of satisfaction and liked the boyish idea of being a super secret agent, with a fake name and identity, a mission appointed to him by the president. He held his arms out and asked them what they thought.
Rosie answered cheerfully, "Wonderful! It's finally like you're working for us!"
Mello folded his arms over his chest as L joined him at the register. "What kind of name is L, anyway?" he asked. "What's your real name?"
"Laura, but I didn't have the creativity to think of a boy's name after my sex-change," he replied blandly.
Mello took a step back, mouth in the shape of a small 'o'.
Rosie laughed heartily and headed for the back room. "He's so funny!"
"That wasn't a joke," Mello accused.
"Of course it was," L said.
Mello didn't seem to buy it and perked up at Rosie calling to him, "Mello, please show L how to use the cash register! He'll be your partner-in-crime up there, your… your comrade!"
There was a certain apprehension in Mello's movements - he turned to the register at the counter, eyeing L for a moment and pressed a button on the screen. A digital list of flowers came up and in the corner there was a sign that said page one of fourteen. Mello cleared his throat. "You ever used a cash register before?"
"I have not," L answered.
Mello raised an eyebrow. "Really? Didn't you ever have a fast food job?"
"No."
"… Where did you work before here?"
L thought for a moment before answering, wondering if he should destroy all contacts with his workplace. He said at length, "IDM Inc."
Mello furrowed his brow. "What, that big company on the other side of town? What'd you do there?"
"I was a waste attendant."
"Agh, a janitor," Mello groaned, crinkling his nose as if L's work could have followed him from across town. He thought then that must have been the reason for the man's sloppy appearance.
L nodded seriously, placing a thumb to his lower lip. "Yes, but now I am a flower-man, so I have moved up a step."
"A step? And don't call us flower-men!"
"Mello," Rosie called, "is L a register aficionado yet?"
"Almost," Mello called back, rolling his eyes like an annoyed child calling to his mother. He decided to leave L's passed jobs alone for the moment and returned his attention to the register. "Listen," he said, "it's pretty simple. Just press the button of whatever flower the customer orders. Then the amount here… taxes add themselves. Every flower's worth something different."
"Do we have every flower in existence?"
Mello frowned. "No, we do not. But we can order most stuff if we don't already have it… if you have any questions, just ask me."
"Of course. Will it be busy today?"
"Pah, yeah right! It's never busy in here! Unless it's like Valentine's Day… It's really boring." He nodded to himself as he leaned on the counter. "It might even be more boring than your janitor job."
"Nothing can be more boring than that," L said, thinking. He looked at Mello. "Would you like more customers?"
"S'yeah… at least my checks would be bigger…"
"I see."
Suddenly, a ringing from the telephone in the back room and it was cut off by Rosie. In a moment, she called out, "L, the telephone's for you! It's a Mr. Yagami on the line!"
L blinked and walked through the threshold, taking the phone offered to him. Rosie walked away, calling him a popular young man. L took the receiver from where it sat on one of the counters and said, "Why are you calling my new place of business?"
"L, what is wrong with you? I've got Near at my office door with a cup of coffee and a really creepy smile on his face," Raito whispered harshly. "He says you informed me that he would be my personal assistant!"
"… Oh, I do recall. Yes, Raito, Near will be your-"
"It doesn't work now!"
"Calm down. Just let him do your data entry and some filing, maybe some errands. At least you know you won't be out of coffee with him around. He is quite earnest, isn't he?"
"I'm not sure earnest is the right word… he's heard what you've said and is setting up camp just outside my door… L…"
"Well, now that that is all cleared up, I must return to work."
Raito sighed. "I still don't know how you get a job there. We need you here, there's so much work to be done. Everyone is under a lot of stress."
"That's too bad."
"L-"
"Wait a moment… I have an idea. Send Near on his first errand…"
-
L walked back into the front room, straitening his apron as he went. Rosie was watering flowers and Mello was dealing with a customer who had just walked in. L walked up to the counter and Mello eyed him for a second before presenting the young woman to L.
"You try it," Mello whispered and moved to the side, letting L have at it.
L nodded and addressed the woman, "Hello, how may I be of service?"
She was a short blonde with a set jaw and spoke to L as if she was one of great importance. "Right, hello. I need a parcel of alagaw, please," she said, staring at L with urgency.
L looked at Mello and said, "What is that? I've not heard of that flower before."
"That's not a flower," Mello protested, frowning at the woman.
She frowned to match his, tilting her head up with an indignant eyebrow raised. "What's that? It is too, I looked it up on Google."
"Google?" Mello screeched.
"Oh, I know about alagaw," Rosie chimed in, coming over just before Mello and the customer got into some fort of fist-fight. She came up to the counter and stood beside the ruffled customer and said with reverence, "Alagaw is a herb, used to cure headaches, flatulence and light coughing. It's actually very helpful."
Mello made a face.
"That's right," said the woman, mollified with Rosie's definition. She turned back to Mello. "My husband has eaten too much rocky-road ice cream again and is fumigating our household. Now, please give me a parcel-"
"Even if it is a real plant, Rosie said it's a herb and this is a flower shop. We don't have your fart-medicine," Mello spat, obviously unhappy.
"True, true," Rosie said, nodding.
Mello grinned.
The customer shook her head. "This isn't satisfying service!"
"Allow us to offer you a replacement," said L, walking around the counter to one of the stands Rosie had just finished watering. He motioned to a few rows of lavender and said to the woman, "This lavender will be even more potent a solution for your problem than the alagaw. Simply crush it and place it in some boiling water and then have your husband drink it. Would you like some?"
She seemed delighted and clasped her hands between her breasts. "Yes, that would be lovely! Thank you, sir." She turned to Mello, nodding superiorly, "See, that's something else you don't know."
Mello gaped, enraged. Before he could cause a ruckus, L began to ring the woman up for her purchase and Rosie got the lavender together. The woman called a thank you back to L and left the store in a few minutes, the bell ringing above the door as she departed.
"My," Rosie said, returning to the flowers, "You certainly know what makes the customer happy, L. What a tough one!"
"Was that really safe?" Mello asked. "Can you eat lavender?"
"I'm sure he'll just have a little tummy ache," Rosie mused.
"Uh…"
L nodded. "I enjoyed that."
"You were very good," Rosie complemented him. "Soon, you may even be as good as Mello and get a two-hundred dollar tip!" She smirked mischievously as Mello groaned at the attention and looked back at the two of them. "Right?"
"Do you have to say stuff like that?" Mello grumbled, hoping L wouldn't ask about it but his hopes were always dashed.
"A two-hundred dollar tip, you say?" L placed a thumb to his bottom lip and studied the blond. "You must be very pleasing, Mello," he murmured.
"… What was that?"
The bell rung again and everyone present stood at mild attention, ready for the next customer. A small boy in a business suit walked into the store, whitish curls around his cheeks and his gray eyes surveying the place. Mello whispered a, "What the fuck?" under his breath as the young man seemed like a ten-year-old parading around the house in Daddy's suit.
Despite the gawking he received from Mello and the giggles from Rosie, he approached the counter with indifference and slight dignity. L nodded at him and Near examined his new uniform and thought the name Elle was an interesting choice for undercover work.
"Good morning," he greeted.
L was nudged by Mello to handle the little guy and he said, "Yes, how may I be of service?"
"I am here to purchase flowers for my co-workers," said Near, eyeing the two of them. "I would like orchids, sunflowers and white roses, twelve bouquets of each."
Mello gaped, eyes wide.
"Yahoo!" Rosie cheered, rushing to the back room. "Come along, boys! We've got work to do!"
Mello followed after Rosie, mumbling to himself about crazy rich people coming in through the store. L turned to Near quickly and said, "Thank you, Near, you've done quite well."
He took the praise without comment. "Was he the man you plan to make happy?" he asked, looking into the doorway.
"He is."
"He does not seem happy."
"It is a work in progress," L informed him.
"Ah."
L was then called back by Rosie and he left Near standing at the counter to smell the fragrant flowers. Rosie quickly showed L where the wrapping plastic was and the ribbon they used to tie up bouquets - L was surprised to see all of the colors they had available and since Near didn't specify what color he'd like, Rosie put pink on every one. Mello was griping under his breath as he cut the flowers and L watched him for future reference.
Mello's blond hair kept falling across his face as he bent over the rows of orchids. He kept brushing the locks back with his upper arm and Rosie giggled at him, walking in between him and L and tugged on Mello's shirt sleeve. "I keep telling him to wear a scrunchie," she said to L, "but he won't hear of it."
"That's right," Mello grunted.
L thought of Mello with a piece of pink ribbon holding his hair up, the kind Rosie was placing around the wrapping, and the image held his attention.
"Hey, what're you doing?" Mello said to him, passing by with an armload of sunflowers, "Don't just laze around, help out!"
L nodded and found another pair of clippers.
In another ten minutes, the three of them were able to get the flowers together and when Mello rang up the order, it came to nearly one thousand dollars. Near nodded and opened his wallet, beginning to lay bills on the counter.
"Whaaat, you're paying in cash?" Mello asked.
Near looked up at him, nodded, and resumed depositing the bills.
Mello rolled his eyes.
"Thank you for your patronage, young man!" Rosie said to him, smiling as if he were her long-lost son. "Do you need any help with all those bags?"
"No thank you, I've taken a cab." Near looked back at the raven-haired worker. "Goodbye, Mr. Lawliet."
"Goodbye," L said.
Near made his exit, waddling with all the bags and, just outside the large windows, the staff of Rosie's Posies could see the young man being met by the taxi driver parked on the curb.
"What an interesting boy," Rosie mused happily.
"Wait a minute, he called you Mr. Lollysomethingorother," Mello said, turning to L.
"Well, that is my last name," said L.
Mello squinted. "But he knew you - someone rich like that!"
"I assure you that Near is not rich. He is an intern at IDM where I was a janitor. He is a kindhearted young man."
"… He's really pale."
"There's not much sun in the office."
-
In thirty minutes, Near was back at the IDM headquarters, met outside by Raito who had been called on Near's cell phone a few minutes prior to arriving. The taxi door opened and Raito helped him with all the bags. Raito did a mental count.
"Are these all of them?" he asked.
"Yes," Near said. "I saw Mr. Lawliet."
"Really? What was going on with him? Did he seem crazy?"
Near thought. "No," he answered finally, "but he was wearing an apron and he has changed his name to Elle. Spelled E-L-L-E."
Ratio frowned as they walked into the elevator. I knew it. This whole thing's taken a toll on him. He's hemorrhaging money for that store and has left us in the lurch.
There was a small ding when the doors to the elevator opened on the fourth floor. Raito looked down at Near and said, "Okay, Near, I'll let you take this from here. I'm going back to my office."
"Yes, sir," Near hummed and stood firmly as Raito lowered the bags of flowers he had helped carry onto Near. Raito turned in one direction, Near turned to the other. The cubicles on this side of the floor were filled with the dreariness and misery of office-drones, those who had no power within the company and existed only to answer phones and direct irate customers.
Near went along the corridor and placed a bouquet of flowers on each desk. Some were occupied, other employees had gone to the restroom or vending machine, and those who did see Near approach them blinked at the young man.
Mrs. Weatherly put her caller on hold and said, "Near? Wha-"
Near handed her a big bouquet of white roses. She stared at them and lightly fingered the pink ribbon, thinking, and finally blushed at the product of her thoughts. Such a cute little boy had a crush on her? It was almost too adorable. She said, "Oh, Near, this is so thoughtful, I… Near?"
Near was across the walkway, giving another bouquet to a different woman.
Mrs. Weatherly frowned. Honestly, why were young men so fickle nowadays?
At a different desk, Near was handing over some sunflowers to Dennis Webber, a newcomer to the floor, and he looked at them, mildly unsure of what this meant. "Near… well, thank you," he said, considering. "I'm not sure… but I think I may have to file a sexual harassment complaint."
"I am not interested in you, Mr. Webber," said Near, "these are a gift given to everyone on the third and fourth floors from Mr. Lawliet."
"… Lawliet? Well, isn't he on vacation?"
"He is in Hawaii. He sends gifts to those of you stuck in the woeful tedium of office-work."
"… Um. Great."
"Yes."
-
When eight o' clock in the evening rolled around, Rosie's Posies was closed and had been for a few minutes. Rosie locked the door as both her employees and she stood out on the street right in front of the shop and she placed the key in her back pocket.
"Well done, boys," she chirped, turning around to face them. Their faces were illuminated by the streetlights and the lamppost on the street corner. "We really racked up today, didn't we?"
"Yes, it was a triumph," said L, waiting for Mello's opinion on all the money they had made.
Mello shook his head, arms crossed over his chest. "Something weird is going on, Rosie. All this money is being thrown around-"
"But it's good money," Rosie told him.
"Who's to say? What if we're being set up?"
L sighed inwardly - even though Mello had said more business would be nice, he only seemed to fall deeper into this growing pit of paranoia when L granted his wish. He just wished this boy would be more direct with what he wanted out of life.
Rosie groaned. "Mello, you're too suspicious!"
"You're too trusting."
She ignored him in favor of L. "You did a great job today, L," she said to him, smiling. "Let's have another good one, all right?" With that, Rosie began to walk around the corner, waving to her two employees over her shoulder.
Mello growled and turned on his heel for the opposite direction. "I'm going home," he stated.
"Goodnight, Mello," L called.
"Yeah, yeah. Hey, you don't have to wear that apron home, you know," Mello said, eyeing L's attire out of the corner of his vision.
"I know."
Mello frowned and walked away quickly, practically shoving other pedestrians out of his way. What a weirdo! he thought.
L watched him leave and looked up at the large yellow sign that proclaimed the name of the business. Let's have another good one, he thought and began off on his own direction home.
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To be continued.
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A/N: By the way, 'elle' is French for 'she'... so, yeah, if none of you knew that, which you might have. What're your thoughts? Tell me, please!