Chapter 68

Noah had said little on the way home but had held Brenda's hand the entire time. The exhaustion was clearly evident on his face and he removed his contacts, putting on his glasses as soon as they got home. Rubbing his tired eyes, he joined her in the kitchen and put the kettle on.

"You were awfully hard on Nik, don't you think?" she asked as she scrolled through the messages on her Blackberry.

"Pardon?" Noah leaned against the counter untucking and unbuttoning his blue dress shirt revealing his white t-shirt underneath.

"At Robin's. You were pretty mean to Nik."

"Not mean, truthful" he countered. "Nathalie wasn't upset Brenda, she was coming apart like a $2 suitcase and he had a lot to do with that."

"Don't you think he knows that? He probably feels badly enough without you rubbing it in."

Noah arched his eyebrow. "Rubbing it in? I did no such thing. They were asking about Nathalie's state of mind and quite frankly Nik was downplaying it. And as for him feeling badly, good, I hope he does."

"Nathalie has quite a defender in you" she remarked, unable to stop herself.

"And Nik has an apologist in you – what's your point?"

"No point. I guess I just didn't know how close you and Nathalie were."

Rolling his eyes, Noah turned his attention back to the whistling kettle. Reaching in to the cupboard, he retrieved a mug and proceeded to drown his tea bag in boiling water. Turning back to Brenda, he sighed heavily.

"Brenda – I'm exhausted and you are clearly working your way up to asking me something – can we skip the build up and get to the question?"

Placing her Blackberry on the table Brenda stared at him. There was no question as to how much she loved him. Once she was able to voice her feelings for him it seemed like they grew in response. In the very short time she had been back she knew that she never wanted to leave again. Unfortunately for Brenda none of those feelings mitigated her insecurities and though she knew on some level she was being irrational, she felt helpless to stop it.

"Is there something going on between you and Nathalie?"

Noah looked at her in surprise. "You have got to be kidding me" he said quietly. "This really isn't the best time for one of your paranoid delusions Brenda; I just don't have the energy for it. I love you – I'm in love with you and that is all you need to worry about."

"You've spent a lot of time with her. Are you attracted to her?"

Reaching for his tea he shook his head. "I'm not having a discussion about this. I have some catching up I need to do on some files – maybe you should catch up on your sleep as you are clearly still jet lagged."

He brushed past her into the living room and settled in a chair. He stared at the journal in front of him but still distracted by Brenda's questions he was unable to take any of it in. Closing his eyes, he massaged the bridge of his nose wondering when any of it would get easier.

Brenda stood in the door to the kitchen watching him and questioning her need to sabotage every good thing in her life. She quietly crossed the room and pulling the journal from his hands, placed herself in his lap, draping her arm around his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Sucking in a breath, he nodded. "You are the first and the only woman I have loved since my wife died" he said softly. "There is no one else for me but you. The problem is Brenda, you have to be willing to believe that – I can't make you believe it."

"I know" she said, resting her head on his shoulder. "I just – you are unlike any other man I have loved and I've already screwed up once. I am terrified of losing you."

Moved by her confession, Noah took her hand in his. "You aren't going to lose me. You asked me if I was attracted to Nathalie – I am." He squeezed her hand as her head shot up from his shoulder. "But not in the way you think. It's not a sexual attraction Brenda – it's….she's been a good friend to me when I've needed it..she.." he stammered briefly. "She is damaged and lives with a lot of pain – I recognize the feelings – my attraction to her is the familiar and the want to repay the kindness she's shown me."

Brenda nodded as she laid her head back against his shoulder. "I think I knew that in my head but I don't trust my heart."

"Then trust mine." He pressed his lips against hers. "I'm not a mean man Brenda; I don't get off on hurting people or playing games. My heart will take care of yours if you let it."

Cupping his face, she captured his lips in a tender kiss, her lips sucking gently on his. He threaded his hands through her silky hair as he deepened their kiss, his tongue plunging in to her mouth. Breathless, they finally broke apart and just stared at each other. Brenda ran her thumb along his bottom lip as her warm brown eyes locked on his. "I've never felt this way before" she whispered.

"I never thought I would feel this way again."

Reaching up, Brenda removed his glasses and put them on the side table before wrapping her arms around him. "So about my room at the MetroCourt…"

"Yes?" he smiled.

"I was thinking…if you were open to the idea…..that I could move in here."

"In here?" he said in fake surprise. "I don't know – I mean what do you bring as a roommate? You can't cook.."

"That's what take out is for."

"You don't clean…"

"Hello? Cleaning ladies need employment too."

"You don't do dishes…"

"You have a dishwasher."

"So what would I be getting out of this?"

Brenda pressed her lips against his neck, just under his ear and smiled as she felt Noah shiver. "Well, I promise to be naked a lot…"

"That's a good start" he murmured.

"And.." she swept her hands over his chest. "I promise to make love to you on a regular basis"

"Define regular…"

"All the time" she whispered as she suckled on his earlobe.

Noah swallowed down a moan, amazed at her ability to drive him mad with the simplest of gestures. "D-d-deal"

"Great!" Brenda clapped her hands together and slid from his lap.

"Wait – what…where are you going?" he said as she grabbed her jacket and purse.

"To get my stuff."

"Now?"

She nodded grinning. "You think I'm going to wait a minute more?"

"But – but - what about the nakedness and the sex?" he asked, his bottom lip jutting out as he pouted.

"Why don't you see about finding me some drawer space and when I get back I promise nakedness and sex?"

Noah beamed. "Okay chief."

Brenda bounced to the door, stopping as her hand gripped the handle. "Hey Noah?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

*******

Patrick paced the room as far as his chains would allow. Pulling on the sink and the toilet he was disappointed by the lack of give on either. He dropped his head as he realized his earlier assessment, that the door at the top of the stairs was the only way out, was likely correct. Yanking on his chains, he let out a small yelp of frustration at being restrained. He knew if only he could get his hands free they would have a chance at escape as it was they really were sitting ducks. Confident they could overpower the guards with the element of surprise, he needed to figure out how to break their bonds. Flopping back onto his bed, he looked over at Nathalie who had not budged from the position she had been in since he came to.

"Nathalie?" His concern growing at the shallowness of her breathing and even for Nathalie she was too still. Not getting a response he slid from the bed and moved as close to her as he could. "Nathalie."

Her head still on her knees, she turned it slightly towards him. Patrick's stomach dropped as he took in the contrast of the angry blue bruises on her cheeks against her pale skin. "I'm okay" she said quietly.

"Please tell me what happened," he pleaded. "I can help."

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand she sat up straighter but kept her knees against her. "Tell me a story."

"What?"

"Tell me a story about you and Robin - tell me a great moment in your courtship that I don't know about. List all the reasons you love her."

Stretching out, Patrick was able to just put his hands on her bed and offer her the smallest of comforts. "Take my hands Nat."

Too tired to resist him, Nathalie lowered her hands on to his and took hold of his fingers. Shocked at how cold and clammy they were he knew that something traumatic had happened to his friend and if he was going to help her through it she needed to tell him what it was.

"I'll tell you all the stories you want if you tell me what happened up there."

Shrugging she tried to dismiss it but the way in which she gripped Patrick's fingers betrayed her fear. "There was a doctor" she said trying to moisten her dry lips. "Helena hired him, I guess, to look after me."

"What did he do?" Experienced in dealing with patients in shock, Patrick quieted himself and took the same soothing tone of voice he used with those patients in an effort to comfort her.

"Ultrasound. I'm 9 weeks pregnant" she said flatly.

Patrick waited for several minutes before gently prodding her again. "What else?"

Exhaling, Nathalie looked away from Patrick as shame washed over her. Intellectually she knew that she had done nothing wrong, that she been victimized but humiliation was her dominant feeling. "He did an internal exam." She felt Patrick's hands tense underneath hers. "It's fine P- I've had them before."

"Voluntarily. You've had them before - voluntarily."

It took a superhuman effort on his part not to explode at her revelation; he knew of no doctor with a smidgen of ethics who would ever do that to patient and if he ever found out who this doctor was he didn't want to be held responsible for what he would do. Sucking in a breath he was more determined than ever to find a way out. He needed to protect her from any further assaults and he needed to get home to his wife.

"I'll be okay. I just feel...." her voice trailed off. She attempted to let go of Patrick's fingers but he held tightly to hers.

"You feel what?"

"Dirty" she said in a strangled voice. "I feel dirty and violated."

Patrick's eyes filled with tears and his frustration mounted at his inability to take her in his arms and reassure her. "You did nothing wrong. I'm so sorry Nathalie."

"Don't" she shook her head violently. "Please don't. I need you to treat me like you always do. Give me a few more minutes and I'll be able to move on."

"Nat" he said sadly.

"P - if we're going to get out of this then we have to be strong and I can't do that if you're feeling sorry for me. I need to feel like I'm okay and you need to treat me like that -so tell me a story."

He bit the hollow of his cheek to keep from pressing further. "What do want to hear?"

Giving him a small, grateful smile she linked her fingers through his as best she could. "Tell me about how you charmed her in the early days."

He let out a quiet laugh. "I didn't. She could not STAND me when we met."

"Why not?"

"She thought I was an arrogant, cocky, insensitive jerk."

"She was only part right."

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Nice." He gave her fingers a light squeeze. "She slapped me once – in the middle of the Nurses Station."

Nathalie's eyes widened in muted delight. "Whatever did you do?"

He shook his head. "I busted her chops every chance I got – she would bite every time I threw something out there. I guess I was giving her a hard time about not smiling enough – she can be deadly serious at times – and she just hauled off and slugged me."

"No doubt you liked it."

A sly smile crossed his face. "Well I knew then and there anyone that fiery was someone I wanted to be with."

"Tell me more."

"You tell me something" he countered.

"Like what?"

"Tell me something about you and Drew that I don't know."

"Ha! You guys gossiped worse than teenage girls – I don't think there is anything about Drew and I that you don't already know – he shared everything with you, right down to my bra size."

"34 B" he smiled. "What? He made me go to Victoria's Secret with him."

"Made is such a strong word P – I have no doubt you cleared your schedule willingly."

"You can't prove it." Tilting his head to the side, he grinned at her. "Come on Nat – there has to be at least one thing."

Pulling on her bottom lip, she stared off in to space as memories of her husband and the life she had before this madness came rushing back. For the first time since discovering her husband's death was a suicide she found herself smiling at a memory of him. "He used to sing me to sleep."

"Pardon?" Patrick asked in surprise.

"He used to sing me to sleep" she said shyly. "I always had a hard time falling asleep – still do most nights - and Drew would sing to me. On the nights he had to work late he would call me and sing to me over the phone. When I was pregnant he would sing to my belly to try and get the kids to settle down at night and then he would sing to me."

"He loved you very much."

"I know" she said softly. "It still doesn't feel like it was enough but I know that." Uncomfortable with the attention on her, Nathalie let go of his fingers. "So tell me more about your great campaign of woo."

He shrugged. "That's the thing – there was no great campaign – I wouldn't even admit to myself that I was wooing her until I broke up with her."

"Why did you break up with her?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Because I saw her hugging Nikolas actually."

"You broke with her because of a hug?" she laughed. "Did you take the short bus to work that day?"

"Well not exactly. I broke up with her because I was overwhelmed with feelings for her. Seeing her hug Nikolas just gave me the excuse I needed to be a jerk."

"I see – and are you still overwhelmed now?"

"I am. The difference is I like it. I love being bowled over by her love. I like feeling like my heart is going to explode when I look at her or when I see her holding our son. I love the feelings of expansion when she told me she was pregnant again. I'm not scared of how I feel about her – not anymore." The love and adoration in his voice was unmistakable and Nathalie found herself moved by his admission.

"Okay then."

"Okay then?"

"We need a plan to get you back to being bowled over and expanded. What's the first thing we need to do?"

"Get out of these cuffs? But we need something to pick them and trust me, I've searched everywhere – there is nothing down here."

Nathalie swung her legs over the bed and stared at her friend. "I know where there is."

"Where?"

"The exam room – there are paper clips and needles in there. All I have to do is get back up there."

"What?" he shook his head. "No way - out of the question."

"Why?"

"I'm not letting you go back up there to be …I'm not letting you go back to that room." His body trembled with suppressed rage at the thought of what happened to her. His thoughts turned to his pregnant wife and what he would do if the same thing happened to her.

"I'll be fine" she said with a confidence she didn't quite feel. "The best thing that can happen to us is to get out of here –if the first step is getting out of the cuffs then we need to get out of the cuffs."

"Then let me" he offered. "Let me fake some kind of illness and get up to the room."

Nathalie shook her head furiously. "Not a chance. We don't know why they have you and they are as likely to shoot you as treat you." She patted her belly. "I have the heir so they won't hurt me."

Unsure of her proposal, Patrick didn't get another opportunity to debate it with her as she immediately doubled over, grabbing hold of her stomach. She moaned and writhed on the bed. Giving him a look, Patrick took his cue and began to cry for help, hoping against hope that they weren't overplaying his hand. His cries grew louder and more frantic and he realized they wouldn't have to wait long to find out as the door was pushed open and two guards came running down the staircase.