Chapter 4: Apologies and Awkward Classes

The next morning I woke up very early, much earlier than I usually do, which is early in itself. I got out of bed and looked out of the window between my bed and Ariel's. The grounds looked peaceful, the dark forrest trees swaying slightly in the breeze, the dew-covered grass glittering as the weak rays of the rising sun hit the tiny drops. A thin trickle of grey smoke rose out of Hagrid's chimney, and the glossy surface of the lake only rippled when a bird swooped down to take a drink.

I quietly sighed and tore my eyes from the window. I took extra care getting ready that morning, and was satisfied when I finished that I looked nice. Not wanting to wake anyone I quietly grabbed my bag and went down to the common room. At first glance it seemed to be empty, but as I walked to the portrait hole I was startled to find that James Potter was sitting alone in an armchair. He looked divine in his red and gold silk tie, his robes casually slouched against his shoulders, his white Oxford shirt untucked from his pants. I suddenly felt weak at the knee and silently scolded myself for letting his sex-god appearance affect me like that.

When he saw me he stood up, grabbing his bag.

"All right, Evans?" he said as he walked towards me. "I was waiting for you."

"Why?"

He nervously ran his hand through his dark hair. "Well, I owe you an apology, and I'd like to explain it to you over breakfast. Only if you want me to, though." he swiftly added.

I looked into his perfect hazel eyes, searching them for meaning. I couldn't decide if this was really happening or if I was hallucinating. He looked real enough, and his eyes were begging me to say yes.

"Er, sure." I said after a minute. James' face lit up the way it did when he stepped onto the Quidditch field. I looked down to hide my face, which was suddenly warm. "Should we go, then?"

"Yeah, I reckon we'll be the first ones there, though."

As we stepped into the corridor a thought occurred to me.

"Potter," I was careful to say, "How did you know when I would go to breakfast?"

"I didn't" he replied, looking at me with a smile. "I knew that you usually woke up early, so I got down to the common room as soon as I could to wait for you."

I couldn't help but smile up at him. "Is that a hint of chivalry I'm detecting?"

He grinned at me. "Well, I am a Gryffindor."

I burst out laughing, unable to control myself. James laughed too, more at me than at his own joke. That was the first time I had ever really thought that James Potter might actually be a nice bloke. I mean, first I had hated him because he was annoying and immature. On the Hogwarts Express I was embarrassed that I fancied him, because I thought that, even though his body had bloomed into that worthy of a sex-god, his mind and basic personhood was still that of the boy who found it funny to bully Severus.

When we walked into the great hall I noticed that we were indeed one of the first ones there. We sat down next to each other at the Gryffindor table, well away from anyone else.

"So, what do you want to apologize for?" I asked as I poured myself some orange juice.

"Toast? Oh, well, there are a few things on the list." he said, reaching for a platter of rashers, eggs, and bangers after buttering a large stack of toast. "First I'd like to apologize for constantly asking you to go out with me for the past three years."

I dropped my fork with a clatter onto my plate and stared at him.

James continued as if nothing had happened. "Yeah, you see, I realized what a prat I was last night when Roxanna kept trying to flirt with me." he pushed a bit of everything onto my plate, twitching my fork to the side before filling his own. "I realized how awkward it must have made you feel, and how I should've just taken the hint after a month or two." He took a huge bite of buttered toast. I stared at him as he chewed, unable to believe my ears. After taking a sip of coffee he continued.

"Second, I want to apologize for always taking the mickey out of you and Snape. I'll say it again, I was a prat, a tosser, a bloody, full-of-himself idiot."

I shoved my face with food as if I were watching a really good footie match on television. If I was into footie, that is. My eyes wide, I nodded at him to continue as I took a bite of a rasher.

He took a long sip of coffee before looking back at me. He gulped, looking more nervous than I'd ever seen him. Looking into my eyes with what looked like every bit of courage he had, he gulped.

"Lastly, Evans, I'd like to apologize for what happened last June. I am... beyond sorry for what happened between you and Snape. And for everything that happened last night. It's all my fault that he called you that, it is, and that means that it's all my fault that you lost him." He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I don't expect you to forgive me, or to accept my apology, but I just thought that you at least deserved to hear it." He opened his eyes and looked at me sadly.

I didn't know what to think. I had never seen James act so seriously in the past five years that I had known him. Alice was right, he was beginning to show the signs of maturation.

I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder; He flinched, as if he were expecting me to hit him. When I didn't, he looked down at me in amazement, as if he'd never seen me before.

"Don't think that." I said to him, staring past his glasses into his beautiful hazel eyes, "What happened in June was inevitable. We'd been drifting apart all year..." I smiled, relieved that I had finally said it out loud.

"But if I hadn't-" James began to argue. I pressed my finger to his lips; His eyes grew wide.

"No. It's over." I pulled back my finger, trying not to think about how smooth his lips were, or how adorable he looked when he apologized to me. "I don't blame you. It was between Severus and I; It was of our own doing." I longed to reach out and touch James again, to see if his cheek was as smooth as his lips. I compromised by taking his hand, saying "Perhaps is was my fault, or maybe it was his, but it was definitely not yours."

He looked down to our intertwined hands and appeared to be doubtful, as if I were playing some kind of trick on him.

"Potter," I said, "Just trust me."

These words seemed to comfort him, because he looked down at me and smiled.

"Okay."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, eating our fill as we waited for our friends to make an appearance. I had tried to talk to him about something, anything, but every time I opened my mouth I'd swallow my words. I think he was doing the same thing, because I once saw him out of the corner of my eye open his mouth as if to talk to me. When I eagerly turned to him, though, he turned it into a huge yawn.

Alice, Frank, Macy, and Ariel came down to breakfast well before the Marauders did. Macy raised an arched eyebrow when she sat across from James and I, but I just stared at her in a way so that she understood that I would explain later. Alice threw herself down next to me with an enormous yawn. Pouring herself a giant mug of coffee, she looked up to the staff table where Professor McGonagall was putting jam on her toast.

"I'd forgotten that we have to pick our classes today." she yawned.

"Wowzer, I forgot about that too!" Ariel exclaimed, clapping a hand to her cheek. "Blimey, what are you all going to take, I hadn't even thought about it!"

"I'm doing all of the Auror classes." I told her. "At least do Defense with me, will you? Merlin knows we'll need it soon."

Macy snorted. "You've got that right. I know that You Know Who's supposed to be on the DL right now, but who do the Ministry think is responsible for that Muggle killing two weeks ago?"

"What are you going to take, Alice?" I asked her as she took a bite of egg white.

"Oh, Frank and I are both taking the Auror classes too." She replied. Frank smiled at her and put his arm around her waist. "The way we figure, we'll get morally satisfying jobs with good paychecks."

"What about you, Prongs?" Frank leaned on his elbow to peer down the table at him.

"Oh, well I was actually thinking about taking the auror route as well." James told him. "It's the only thing I could ever see myself doing and enjoying."

"Wow, four Aurors." Ariel sighed. "I've got no chance with that one. I only got an "Acceptable" in Herbology."

"Oh don't worry," Macy assured her. "I got that in Transfiguration. Transformed my iguana into a Bengal tiger." We all roared with laughter.

"And how did that earn you an "Acceptable?" James choked out.

"Well, I was supposed to be vanishing it." Macy rolled her eyes. "And even though it was a good bit of magic, my tester didn't appreciate having to go to St. Mungo's to get his right hand put back on."

Just then Sirius, Remus, and Peter appeared in the entrance to the great hall. Macy stared at Sirius, smoothing her hair and checking her reflection in the back of her cereal spoon. They came down and sat around James, Sirius sitting next to a delighted Macy. Sirius ginned when he saw me sitting next to James, and he whispered something to Peter who whispered it to Remus. The three of them stared at us until I saw James shake his head slightly, glaring at the lot of them. They burst into laughter, startling the rest of the table.

"How was breakfast, Prongs?" Sirius asked him with a devilish grin.

James grinned back, bringing out his inner sex-god. "Wonderful, Padfoot. Better than yours, anyway."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, looking confused.

James laughed. "I convo'd with mine. Yours is still going for a more... experienced crowd." he tilted his head over to where Roxanna, Demeter, Selene and Mary were sitting further along down the table. Roxanna and Selene were feeding two seventh-year Ravenclaw boys bits of bangers from their forks. Demeter was chatting with Diego, Frank's best friend, while Mary stared wistfully at a boy sitting at the Hufflepuff table.

Sirius scowled at the boy Selene was feeding as if he had insulted him.

"Tough break, mate." James said. I hadn't understood a word he had previously said, but I gathered from Sirius' glower that he fancied Selene. Suddenly it all made sense; on the Hogwarts Express Frank had joked that when I almost called James 'sex-god' I meant to call him what Sirius calls his pillow when he snogs it: Selene. Alice was right.

"Oh no, no no nooooo." Ariel suddenly groaned. Most of the students had left for their classes already, but the sixth years had stuck around to get their schedule from their Heads of House. At that very moment, Professors McGonagall, Sprout, Slughorn and Flitwick had descended from the staff table.

I was the third Gryffindor to be scheduled. When McGonagall approached me, she stared down at a sheet of parchment through her wire spectacles.

"Miss Evans," she began, looking up at me with a small smile. "I see that you did very well on your examinations. I am particularly pleased with your 'Outstanding' in Transfiguration." I thanked her, and she consulted the parchment again.

"Well, Miss Evans, is it still your ambition to become an auror?"

"Yes, Professor." I instantly replied.

"Very well then... You have achieved all of the necessary grades to continue on with Potions, Charms, Herbology, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and of course, Transfiguration. Is that all, or do you wish to take additional classes?"

"Well actually, Professor," I said, "I was hoping that I would be able to take the N.E.W.T. level Astronomy class." I looked at her optimistically. "I know that it's not always offered, but all the same..."

Professor McGonagall pulled out another piece of parchment and after a quick glance stowed it back into place.

"The N.E.W.T. level Astronomy class is currently not being offered. However, if any other students request to take it, Professor Hayley may make an exception. I will get back to you by dinner."

"In the mean time, here is your schedule." She tapped her wand once onto a blank piece of parchment and handed it to me, onto which my new schedule appeared instantly.

Professor McGonagall then moved on to Selene Harper. I had a free period first thing that morning, so I waited for Alice, Frank, Macy and Ariel to get their schedules. Since Ariel's last name was Vitrophski, I had to wait for a while. We all huddled together in the entrance hall by the staircase, except for Ariel who had to rush off to Care of Magical Creatures. I discovered that I had everything (so far) with Alice and Frank, and DADA, Charms, and Herbology with Macy, who was also taking Ancient Runes and Divination.

"I wonder if Snuffles is taking any of these." she mused, twirling a piece of her long curly hair absentmindedly.

"Are you ever going to tell me who Snuffles is?" Frank asked her. "I could help you, you know."

"One day." Macy told him, "After he's asked me out."

Frank groaned. "Girls." he muttered.

Alice laughed. "Have you talked to Diego? Do you know what he's taking?"

I know that Frank answered her, but I didn't hear what he said. From my perch on the marble staircase I watched as the sex-god emerged from the Great Hall, closely followed by Sirius, Peter, and to my displeasure, Roxanna. Her arm was linked in his, and she seemed to be laughing as if she were having the time of her life. I narrowed my eyebrows and felt the corners of my mouth turn down. When I noticed the pained expression on James' face, however, I became curiously cheerful.

My first class that day was double Defense, right before lunch. I was curious to meet the new teacher, Professor Trout, whom I had only seen at the feast the night before. I must admit, I was even more nervous that James would be in the class. I mean, I'd had many classes with him over the years, but that was before I noticed his bum.

As Alice, Frank and I entered the corridor in which the classroom was, I was startled to see Severus, standing in front of the door, his slouched shoulders making his hair look longer than ever, his large nose buried in a thick, leather-bound book. I stopped dead in my tracks, staring at him in horror. The thought hadn't occurred to me that he might be in some of my classes.

"Hide me!" I whispered to Alice, pulling her in front of me and crouching down. I peaked at him from behind her bag and was relieved to see that he was still fixated upon his book.

"Alice, what am I going to do?" I said, my voice higher and whinier than usual.

"Er, well, just stick to Frank and I, we'll make sure he doesn't give you any trouble."

I groaned, shaking my head. "I can't do this!"

Alice suddenly pulled herself from my grasp, and turned to face me.

"Listen, Lily, he's going to find out sooner or later, since there's only one class. Second of all, and this should cheer you up, your sex-god is here."

"Really?" I straightened up and looked around, instantly spotting him with Sirius and Remus. "Well, that brightens things up a bit."

Frank rolled his eyes. "Not another one! Don't you ever get tired of these aliases?"

"No, we don't." Alice said. "Did you know that you had an alias?"

Frank grimaced. "Do I want to know what it was?"

"How do you feel about Blue Eyes?"

"Well, it's not as bad as Snuffles!" Frank laughed. "Although I'm curious as to who the sex-god is." He turned to me, "You must really fancy this bloke. It's not-"

"No no no no no." I quickly interrupted him. "No, it's not... that dude."

" 'That dude'? How many American sitcoms did you watch this summer?" Macy laughed. She and Ariel appeared as the classroom door opened. We all shuffled in, and I swore under my breath to see that only two tables remained empty. One was directly next to Severus; the other was in front of him, but next to the sex-god. Before she could even protest I pulled Alice to the table, snatching it before a group of standing Hufflepuffs could even blink. I sat down in the chair farthest from Severus, which was conveniently next to James. I could feel his sharp black eyes on by back, but I determinedly stared at the short wizard now standing at the front of the classroom. Once everyone had settled down and pulled out their copies of 'Defending in the Dark: An Advanced Guide', Professor Trout introduced himself.

"Good morning to you all. As many of you already know, I am Professor Trout, your, er, newest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Now," He said, clearing his throat,"I want you all to know that I am only staying for the year as a favor to the Headmaster. I-,er- want to make this plain to you, so that any, um, jinxes or curses that may have been placed upon this post will allow me to leave the school as healthy and... well, just the way I am today."

A few students snickered. I was obvious that Professor Trout believed in the so-called jinx on the post of DADA teacher.

"Now, during today's lesson we will be learning about the value of nonverbal spells-"

I couldn't help myself. While everyone rummaged in their bags for parchment, quills and ink to take notes, I turned to look at Severus. It was worse than I had feared. His eyes bore into mine, cold and accusing. With a sharp intake of breath I turned away from him. Once I began to take notes I realized that my hand was shaking. At the table next to mine James noticed my trembling.

Are you alright? he mouthed to me. I nodded, but involuntarily glanced back at Severus. His eyes had turned even colder, if that was possible, and they narrowed with pure loathing. I looked at Alice, and could tell that she was thinking the same thing: this was going to be one very long year.