A/N: Thank you for the kind reviews! This chapter made my ass hurt! Commence to reading!
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Escort to Happiness.
Fifteen.
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"You're an asshole."
Beep.
"I've never hated someone so much!"
Beep.
"Is this even on?"
Beep.
"… L, you bastard, how could you do this…"
Mello flipped the phone closed upon realizing that L had never installed his voicemail and the messages Mello had been screaming into the phone would never reach the man. In a way, however, he was somewhat relieved as even then some of the things he had said seemed harsh, even for someone who runs people over with their car.
It had been almost two full days since Mello threw L out of the apartment and hadn't heard from him since. At work, things were slow and Rosie often looked out of the front window, sighing, as if waiting for something. Or someone. Mello looked out over her shoulder sometimes as he passed behind her, sweeping up leaves, and was waiting for something – or someone – as well.
The skies were heavy with the ongoing thunderstorms and the streets were awash with floating debris and the gutters were overflowing. Mello was kept inside the shop like a bored cat because Rosie didn't want to risk his health out in the rain. She often walked around saying, "All this rain! Mello, are you taking vitamins? We sure don't want you sick. Who will keep me company?" and she ended the statement with an affectionate pat to his head as he lounged around the counter. She still held the supposition that an oncoming flu was what was ailing Mello. He ignored her and thought about the weight of the cell phone in his pocket, the lone number inside it, and sometimes for comfort, he slipped his hand into his jeans pocket and touched the crack on the phone.
When the shop was closed or Mello was on a break, he walked as if he were a ghost – no longer with the world but through it. He hadn't had the nerve to try the cell phone since he dropped it, to see if it worked, until tonight when he came home and sat up in Matt's bunk. He held the phone in his hand and looked about the dusty room, the severe emptiness that surrounded him. He could no longer feel Matt's eyes on him like when the redhead was alive and they would waltz around each other silently. Matt's ridiculous way of demanding attention…
"Matt! Matt, you idiot, just wait for the damn light!"
And the car that came.
Thinking back on it, on those many weeks ago, Mello tried to remember the driver's face. The face that killed Matt. But as hard as he tried to place L's face at the crash, he couldn't. He just saw L beside him in the flower shop, standing there with his bag of gum drops or at some nameless restaurant in full uniform, eager to pay for his bill.
So the source of his guilt had been revealed.
All the flowers and clothes and money, all the time they had spent just fucking looking at each other.
It was a complete farce, it had to have been. There was no way L would have spent so much time with him, just being kind to him, because he wanted to be. It was all because of Matt.
L felt bad for killing Matt.
He had to repay Mello somehow…
His grieving, mourning, crying roommate.
His best friend.
"Well, why me?" Mello cried out as he stood in the living room, staring at the phone. "Why not his mom? She was closer to Matt than I was! Why couldn't you take her out to dinner? Why couldn't you make her go crazy over you? I… I hate you, L," he shouted and crossed the room with long strides to the window. He threw the window up and leaned out and the people below cowered.
Mello stared out into the stormy night, tears starting in his eyes as he held the phone aloft in one fist, poised to throw it out onto the busy street.
Should I do it? Completely… cut ties with him forever? He clenched his jaw. To throw L away would be…
Someone called up to him suddenly and angrily, "Don't you dare throw that phone!"
Mello blinked and looked down at the crowd shaking their fist, choruses of: "Yeah!" and "Stop it!" followed. Mello watched for a moment, gave a half-hearted laugh, and called down to them, "Okay."
-
L's office was dark as Raito walked up to it. He tilted his head curiously and looked on the door for a note that maybe L had gone out to eat or just laze about the floor but there was none. Mrs. Weatherly was walking by and Raito turned to her and said, "Excuse me, do you know if Mr. Lawliet is in?"
"Oh, him?" She pointed to the door. "I saw him go in a few hours ago but the lights have been off all day. I can't imagine what he's doing in there…"
Raito frowned heavily and sighed. "Okay, thank you." He turned around and began banging on the door. "L! You let me in there!"
Mrs. Weatherly gasped, holding a hand out. "H-Hey, what're you-"
The door opened roughly, L's face in the crack with an agitated eyebrow raised. "It was open, you know. No need for your cattish clawing at the door."
"What?" Raito screeched and sent a withering glare to Mrs. Weatherly for her guffawing as she walked away.
"I'm working," L said.
"In the dark?"
"Yes, in the dark."
Raito placed his hands on his hips in challenge. "Well, I have something to discuss with you, so let me in."
L sighed and opened the door, walking into the gloom and sitting at the desk that was only partially lit by the blue glow of the monitor. Raito shut the door behind himself and looked around, squinting.
"Jesus, L! You're going to go blind in here. Why are the curtains closed?" he asked, walking around the desk to peek between the curtains.
L sat at the desk. "What does it matter? It is dark outside, so open windows would provide no light."
"You're too old to be emo, you know. Hot Topic services young teens."
"I'm not emo."
"You are too. A lovesick emo," Raito observed, looking down into the parking lot. He blinked, ignoring the squeak of L's swivel chair turning. "Ooh, someone just keyed that car. Glad it's not mine." Raito craned his neck and was confronted by L's large black irises. "What're you staring at me like that for?"
"I am not lovesick," he said cautiously.
"If you weren't lovesick, you wouldn't be in here moping over Mello dumping you."
"How many times do I have to tell you-"
"I've lost interest, L!" Raito threw his hands up into the air. "It's your own fault for not telling Mello sooner. This whole thing could have been avoided."
L rolled his eyes. "Oh, of course. 'Hello, my name is L, and I've run over your roommate. Allow me to take you to dinner.' That would have worked quite well."
"Better that than making him think you were some prince on a white horse, come to save him from melancholy, only to find out months later that you were just a jerk in a Mercedes! And you're too stubborn to go out and make him believe that you're not just a jerk in a Mercedes. You'll sit in here and cut yourself to death while listening to Ryan Farish and Mello will still hate you. It's a move it or lose it deal, L. You better snatch Mello up before someone who hasn't run his dear friend over gets the chance."
"What am I supposed to say to him?" L stressed, thinking of the way Mello's eyes widened in the shadows, the shaking of his fists. "I cannot… I cannot take it back."
"Tell him that! Tell him anything! But you're going about this the wrong way, L. He doesn't need space, he needs you to smother him. Passion, L. Let it rise up in you, let it fill your lungs!"
L shook his head. "Near… I am going to give him something other to do than give you coffee."
"I'm not hyper."
"Either that or sexual frustration."
Raito shrugged. "Probably."
"Ugh."
"What? Did you read the walls of the fourth floor restroom? Everyone's getting some except me."
"Send Near on an errand."
"What? Pft. L, I'm ignoring you… but you seem to be in a better mood," Raito observed, still slightly blushing, as he examined L's thoughtfulness. "Is someone coming out of their emo-corner?"
"I do not know what you mean. But… I agree with you on some level. Maybe I should talk to him. Although, I had thought you were against my seeing him, Raito."
"Oh, I don't care. I have other things to entertain me rather than your nonexistent love life, L."
"Thankfully."
"What were you working on then?" Raito asked, leaning over the back of the chair to look at the monitor. There were graphs and Raito scanned it with the mouse and recognized it. "Near's proposal! It looks different. What did you do to it?"
"Not much. Near and I have been sending it back and forth between computers, making improvements and adjustments. He's quite intelligent, I've barely had to do anything."
Raito blinked widely. "Is that what he's been doing? I thought he was playing Solitaire!"
"It makes me wish I had not so readily handed him to you as an assistant," L mused.
"Well, he's mine, so hands off."
"You are too old for him, Raito."
"Oh shut up, L."
-
"There have been no new discoveries in the case since you left, Near," Mrs. Weatherly informed the small intern gamely as he stood in front of the refrigerator in the small kitchen. She had been standing against the wall, drinking tea until Near entered the room to check on his sandwich. He had placed the same sort of sandwich in that had been bitten before but this time, there was no bite.
Near nodded slowly. "The culprit," he said, "must have a large distaste for turkey. This is why he did not take more than a bite previously. And I have come prepared." Near placed a tuna salad sandwich into the refrigerator ceremoniously.
Mrs. Weatherly rubbernecked over his shoulder. "So, are you going to wait here for the bandit?"
"No, I have much work to do. You may wait for him, though," he said and walked for the door.
"Um. But…"
Near pretended to not have heard her and was quite pleased with his plan. The Lunchbox Bandit would indeed be caught in no time. Everything was coming along nicely, even the proposal that he worked on with L days in and out. Perfecting it for the board because L had already set up a meeting with the CEO and COO and many other bigwigs that resided like monsters in the attic on the fifth floor.
Lately, Near felt as if an earthquake was beneath him all the time. High on the Richter scale and low on patience for those above ground. He felt like he could never stand still: his knees were shaking, he felt woozy, or he had to blink harshly to keep things in focus. All because, really, this was all he ever wanted.
When he was very young, he was playing entrepreneur by selling other kids on the block his toys for almost twice what his mother had paid for them. And when he arrived home with five popsicles from the Frosty Treat man, his mother would wonder where he got such money from. The day he walked into IDM, he knew exactly where he wanted to be in the company. At the very top.
He looked up at the ceiling.
It would be very soon, with L's help.
-
The next day was just as dreary as the day before and the one before that. It was around five thirty in the evening but no sun could be seen setting over the horizon, no colors of gold and red thrown up into the sky. Clouds opened up and poured rain down over the city and Raito moved slowly down the streets of downtown, trying to get home. He growled to himself, agitated at how slow everyone was going and how congested the roads were. A few streets back, he had witnessed someone trying to speed and their tires lost traction, sliding off into a ditch and taking another two cars with them.
Things were barely going at five miles per hour now and Raito wished he had brought a bag of chips or something. He had nothing to eat and nothing to entertain him except for his Rihanna CDs that played loudly and kept his fingers tapping on the steering wheel. People passing by quickly on the sidewalk were cowering under their umbrellas or taking cover in the shops that lined the streets. But, out of the murky masses, Raito caught sight of some sunshine, something bright and blond and noticed Mello standing under a canvas awning in front of an electronics store.
Raito blinked, looking over. The awning was old and full of holes and Mello was damp underneath it but held something in his hand and seemed far away.
Ugh… shit, what is he doing out here? Raito kept turning from the light to Mello and then groaned loudly, rolling down his passenger side window. "Mello! Mello," he called into the wind.
The blond perked up and looked around, his gaze finally settling on Raito and the Lexus. He held a hand up to shield his eyes from the sprinkles of rain and finally recognized him. The light turned green and the congestion began to move a bit and Mello took off walking away. Raito sighed and followed at walking-pace with his car along the avenue, leaning over in the passenger's seat.
"Mello, come on, get in. L wouldn't forgive me if I made you walk out in the rain."
Mello shook his now glistening wet hair at the brunet. "You may not have been my stalker but that doesn't mean we're friends."
"I don't want to be your friend," Raito countered, irritated. "But L does."
Mello flashed a glare over his shoulder and continued to walk. "I'm fine," he said.
There was silence between them for a second before a bolt of lightening flashed in the sky then followed by thunder.
"Come on, this is really stupid!"
Mello sighed and turned, opening the door and getting in. He shook himself like a dog and Raito, now back on his side, groaned at getting wet. He sighed when Mello settled down with his seatbelt and concentrated on driving.
After five minutes, Mello cried out, "Damn! I can walk faster than this!"
"Oh, be quiet. Can't you at least say thank you, you ungrateful lug?"
Mello frowned, wiggling around in his seat.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"… thank you."
"There!" Raito gave a half smile and loosened his grip on the wheel. "Now, where do you live?"
"Perry Avenue, the apartment building on the left side. It's four blocks down."
"All right."
There was more silence between them during which the only sounds were the thunder outside and Rihanna in the car. Mello wrinkled his nose after the fourth song started.
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight? Disturbia, ain't used to what you like…
"Fucking hell, what is this? What're you listening to?" he asked, whipping his head around to Raito.
Raito blinked, glancing at him. "It's Rihanna."
Mello stared for a moment. "What a fag."
"Don't make me stop this car!"
"We're practically stopped already! What's the hold up?" Mello stuck his head out of the window despite Raito's protests that he was letting rain in. He shouted some obscenities to other drivers and then pulled his head back in and rolled up the window.
Raito shook his head. "You're such a child! L must have such a time with you. What were you doing standing out there anyway?"
"L is not my nanny," Mello huffed and then turned back to the phone he had in his lap. "And I was looking for a phone case."
"What for?" Raito looked over and noticed the black cell phone.
"Non-ya!" Mello stuffed the phone into his pocket. "Just drive. Sheesh. Fucking nosy Rihanna-lover."
-
The rain was still coming down everywhere that night when L sat down on his bed with his cell phone. He had not needed to get Near's phone number from IDM's employee directory, as Near had left his number all around L's office and countless other places L could gain access to it. Despite the open invitation, L had put off calling the young man until now and he speed dialed number 3.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Near, did I interrupt something?"
"L… of course not…"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm happy you called. I have finished all things for the proposal on this end and I think we are all set for tomorrow… um… L, do you mind if I put Raito on three-way with us? He is on the other line and is now childishly beeping at me to hurry up."
"Ah, I see. Go ahead then."
"All right." There was a pause and then a beep. "Raito, L is on the line with us."
"What? He is? L, you're such a busybody, go get your own conversation."
"Thank you for your hospitality, Raito."
"L was talking to me about something important, Raito, so please hush."
"I was talking about something important, too."
"Fawning after opera tickets is not important."
"So uncultured."
"Ahem."
"Sorry, L. What were we talking about?"
"The pro-"
"Pavarotti is supposed to perform."
"I will mute you, Raito."
"Only Near can mute me, L."
"Then I will. Please, L, continue."
"Oh, fine, just ignore me."
"We are trying!"
"Near, what I was going to say is that I think you know the proposal backwards and are very eager for it to be presented?"
"Oh, I am, L. I cannot wait for you to tell me how it goes."
"Well, I think-"
"Shit… I have a hangnail. This is going to take forever to dig out."
"Raito."
"I'm not listening to your 'private' conversation, Near. Go on with what you were saying, L."
"Hurry, L, before he can speak again."
"I ju-"
"Red light!"
"Ugh!"
"Haha, I'm just yanking your chain, L. Go ahead."
"Near, no more coffee for him."
"Yes, L."
"Near, I want you to give the presentation tomorrow."
"… What? But L…"
"You are so bright; this day should be yours. This is your creation, Near."
"… Thank you, L. I'm very happy just that you think so highly of me."
"I'm very impressed, Near."
"… Honestly, was that all you had to say, L? This could have been over five minutes ago."
Both Near and L hung up.
-
In the fifth floor break room the next morning, the skies had parted and sunshine was finding its ways in through the IDM windows and onto Near's red giraffe tie. It was tightened and straightened along with the rest of his firmly pressed suit. He stared into the small mirror by the wall and looked into his own sad gray eyes as the door behind him opened and L walked in, for once, in a suit of his own.
Near was more surprised at this than anything and turned to greet him. "L… I… you're in a suit…"
"Is it that surprising? This is a professional meeting after all," he said and jammed his hands into his pockets as usual. He gave Near an once-over as well and smiled as if he was trying to help it. "Are those giraffes?" he asked.
"… Yes," Near said, looking aside.
"I see. They're quite nice."
"… You think so?" He looked down at them and touched the silk of the tie, running his fingers along it. "My mother likes them."
"Then your mother has good taste."
The door opened a bit and Raito's head popped in. He noticed the two over by the mirror and called over, "We're ready for you, Near. Let's… are those giraffes?"
"Indeed they are," said L, walking for the door. "Aren't they nice giraffes?"
Raito blinked at L and then at Near, small and giraffe-coated, in the large room. He sighed and smiled. "Yes, Near, they're nice giraffes."
Near brightened up and followed the two of them out of the break room. The fifth floor was nothing bedazzling or new-age but it was roomy with many windows. The carpet was a deep blue, not the scratchy gray of the bottom floors, and Near breathed in the fresh smell as he walked through the corridors. L and Raito walked into the large conference room first and Near followed at length, feeling the earth move as he did so.
There were twelve men sitting at the oval wooden table once L and Raito took their seats amongst the others. When they sat and looked up, Near barely recognized them: L no longer had a placid look of indifference but a calm seriousness and Raito's airy brown eyes turned to confident stone as they locked on Near. But, he thought, there was the flash of something, some sort of humor and goodwill and Near recognized his friends deep inside of them.
Near turned his face upward and gave them all a small smile and said, "Gentlemen…"
-
I feel as if I'm wasted. And I'm wasted everyday. Oh, I…
"Oh, Mello, don't you just love this song?"
Mello groaned, turning his head away from Rosie's trilling and excitement over her new CD player. She brought it into the shop that morning, crowing about how it would liven up the flowers and Mello didn't even bother trying to stop it.
She had picked up some CDs on the way in to work randomly and Mello was forced to listen to it all. The CD player was placed on the counter in the front room and Rosie was either standing by it or dancing around the flower stands, watering them and singing along. Mello found some relief in the back room, where it was slightly quieter, and watered or snipped flowers.
The weight from the cell phone was there, in his pocket, and he decided that that was all he needed.
It was enough, to have that small link with L and the memories he left in the flower shop.
Everything he needed was right in his pocket.
The bell rung and Mello could hear Rosie call out, "Oh my-"
Mello sighed to himself, his back to the door. "I'll be right there, Rosie. By the way, these sunflowers are coming in nicely, I think it's that new plant fo-" Mello yipped as he felt two hands on his waist and before he could speak any further, he was whirled around and L's lips came crashing to his.
The clippers he was holding fell with a metallic clink to the floor. L's arms came around Mello and he could feel the man's hands on his back, the warmth seeping in through the fabric of his shirt. Mello wanted to cry out, to tell him to back the fuck off or to ask what the hell he thought he was doing, but when he opened his mouth he could only feel liberation and happiness when he felt L's tongue against his. Mello brought his hands up to the lapels of the dark blue blazer L wore and he held them tightly, winkled them with the sweat under his palms.
In a moment, L broke away and left Mello breathing harshly and whispered into his hair, "I'm sorry."
Mello was dizzied, almost incoherent, but got his bearings with the apology and managed to push L away with some force. He stared at the man, wide-eyed and flushed and out of the corner of his eye, saw Rosie standing at the door way, a bright red cherry.
"H-Hey," he shouted, pointing an angry finger at L. "What the fuck… just… Jesus, L! What're you doing here? A-And what the fuck are you so dressed up for?"
"I have given you my last verbal apology just now, Mello," L said, obsidian eyes flashing. "When I did those things for you, when I kept my identity a secret, I did them to make you happy. I felt you had lost something and I tried to fill the void in you with anything possible. Though now I realize, it was not a thing you lost and it is not a thing that can replace it. What you had with Matt was a relationship and though I cannot hope to make you forget the secrets I kept from you, I hope you will not take lightly my feelings for you. I owe you a life and desire to give you mine."
Mello swallowed thickly and looked towards the doorway where Rosie caught his glance and ducked away, giggling.
"L… you… but… why are you saying all this?" he asked quietly.
L smirked. "I am being passionate. So, if you would please…" And he held out his hand.
-
To be continued.
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A/N: Thoughts? Questions? Next is the epilogue. Hit me!