SURPRISE! As I was writing this chapter, I got surprised at how long it had become, so once again I decided to cut it. :) Which means... another chapter will be coming up, hehe. ^^
Mostly, this chapter is dedicated for the readers who had become a fan of Ryuu, I hope you guys enjoy this :) Please don't forget to drop a review ^^
Oh and! Next chapter will be interesting :) It seems a lot of you are still not used to my style of writing :3 Ayamiko-chan's cunning style of twists and surprise! From reviews and PMs, there's one crucial point you guys got wrong~
Watch out for the next chapter! ^~^
Disclaimer: I do not own Kaichou wa Maid-sama
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~Chapter 12 - Finding Ryuu ~
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"Oh? Is that her?"
A little boy around the age of eleven looked up with his round golden eyes at the man who had just spoken.
"Gerard-onii-sama," The boy acknowledged.
Gerard smiled kindly at the little boy who was at least three years younger than him. He glanced once again across the street, where a little girl was walking along.
"Mn," The little boy answered.
"Why don't you try introducing yourself to her? I'm sure she can still remember you, even if it's just a little." Gerard said encouragingly.
The little boy shook his head, "Father and mother said not to go near her anymore, if not, something bad might happen to her. And I don't want that to happen."
Gerard grinned at his determined answer. "You like her a lot, don't you?" He said teasingly.
"Of course."
Gerard was speechless for a second at the child's immediate answer. "Does Sara know that you always stalk that little girl?"
The little boy turned around and his already huge eyes widen further. "Don't tell onee-sama! I'm not suppose to see her in the first place, even if I'm just watching from afar!"
Gerard laughed at his panicked expression. "I know, I was just joking." He laughed once more.
"Gerard-onii-sama," The little boy grumbled.
Gerard stifled his laughter and ruffled the dark maroon hair of the little boy, "Come on Ryuu, let's go home."
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"Ah 17, he's eligible already. When are you going to find him a partner, Sasaki-sama?"
Ryuu groaned as one of his father's politician friend asked his father. His father laughed shortly at Ryuu's expression, then he shook his head.
"His mother and I decided that it's up to him. Ryuu should find his own happiness." His father answered, which Ryuu smiled to in return.
"But what if he makes the wrong choice? What if he gets into danger because of the person he falls for? Are you not afraid that what happened with Sara—"
"Enough." His father almost hissed.
Ryuu froze at the mention of his sister's name. It was two years ago when his sister died— murdered was more like it. She died at the tender age of 18. He was devastated upon hearing of his sister's death, and he was even more devastated when he learned that the death of his beloved sister was caused by the family of the man she loves, of the man whom he had treated like a brother. He shook his head as if to shake off the bitterness that came with the memory.
Gerard is not his enemy.
Gerard had loved his sister more than anyone else. More than her own family could love her.
He had seen a glimpse of him during Sara's funeral. And Gerard was in a more ruined state than he had been. He respected him even more upon learning that Gerard had been forbidden to attend the funeral yet he had risked everything just to see his sister one more time...
Ryuu abruptly stood up. "Excuse me," He all but murmured as he left the room.
Recalling what had passed made him miss his sister once again, much more his more-or-less brother. He barely saw Gerard anymore. Gerard had been locked up in the Walker mansion, banned from contacting anyone from outside. An occasional letter delivered by Cedric would come, but that was all. He never felt so alone...
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"She's coming back!" Ryuu shouted out to the open space.
He couldn't stop smiling. The words "She's coming back" kept replaying in his head. He couldn't believe it. After several years of not being able to talk to her... She was coming back!
"Who's coming back?"
Ryuu turned around and his eyes brightened. "Gerard-sama." More than five years has passed since his sister's death, and Gerard was finally able to find a loophole, so from time to time, he visited Ryuu.
Gerard grinned upon seeing the first genuine smile of the boy whom he had cared for as a brother.
"Misaki," Ryuu breathed, "She's coming back."
Upon the mention of the name, Gerard's smile turned into a frown. "Oh." He said shortly.
Ryuu didn't notice Gerard's lack of enthusiasm and happiness for him. He was just too surprised, too shocked, too happy.
Gerard watched silently as Ryuu practically skipped with happiness. Misaki Ayuzawa— no, Misaki Ashford... The girl who had captured the heart of his half-brother. When he first learned of this, he was torn. He knew that the girl had to be used as a pawn in his chess piece in order to let his half-brother return to the Walker family... yet he didn't want her involved because he knew that she meant a lot to Ryuu. Yet, even if he didn't do anything to the girl, his father will surely make the moves himself.
"Takumi will be returning to the household soon," Gerard murmured.
Ryuu stopped, catching Gerard's words despite his low tone. He looked at Gerard in shock, "Takumi? Your half-brother?"
Gerard nodded, "Father... has plans..."
Ryuu's eyes narrowed. He too, after all, was aware of the scheming plans of the Walker head. "And what threats have they laid out for him?"
"Takumi... is infatuated with... a certain lady—"
Ryuu groaned, immediately guessing the direction of the conversation. "Dirty tricks."
"And I'll have you know," Gerard said gently, "That I'm part of that planning."
Ryuu's eyes widen.
"I have to go," Gerard suddenly said as Cedric appeared beside him out of thin air.
"You're going to hurt your brother. You should know how it would feel better than anyone else." Ryuu stated.
Gerard shook his head, "There's no other way." His voice already sounded detached.
"Ge—"
"You will meet him in the near future." Gerard said as he walked towards the car, "It can't be avoided. Your paths will cross. And, Ryuu," Gerard looked at him, "You may hate him, despise him, because of what he's going to take from you, or maybe it's going to be the other way around. Where he will hate you because of what you've taken from him, but please. Please take care of Takumi for me, when I'm gone."
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Ryuu gasped as he woke up.
His heart was beating fast as he recalled the dream— a memory from the past...
Back then he had wondered why Gerard would think that he would hate his half-brother. Someone who he had never even met personally. And now he understood... because the two of them were fighting for the same person, they were in love with the same charismatic person...
But what had made his heart accelerate so much was because of Gerard's last words...
"Take care of Takumi for me, when I'm gone."
Something felt different as Gerard said those words... He wasn't surprised when Gerard had said that, after all, he was aware of Gerard's illness. But as he recalled his dream once more... He felt a chill run down his spine. Like he was already saying his last goodbye.
Ryuu shook his head.
He couldn't afford to think like that. He sat up from his bed, tossing the covers to the side. He slapped his cheek lightly as he tried to regain his normal breathing pattern. Even if everyone said that Gerard had less than a week to live, he had to live. Gerard had to wait for him. He wouldn't dare leave him without a goodbye, just as Sara had.
But then... seconds before Sara had died, he had dreamt of a memory where Sara had to say goodbye because she was leaving for a long trip...
Ryuu's already calmed heart start beating fast once again.
He was about to get off the bed when his bedroom door suddenly opened.
"Misaki?" Ryuu said in surprise as his childhood friend stood in front of his bedroom door. Her expression seemed to be... livid?
"I THOUGHT YOU HAD LEFT FOR JAPAN TWO DAYS AGO!?" She shouted at him.
Ryuu was too shocked to speak as Misaki trudged into his room. "I cancelled it." He answered reflexively.
"You promised! That's why I didn't see you off and I went to that business trip!" She still shouted angrily.
"What's the big deal, I—"
Ryuu was cut off when Misaki suddenly pulled the collar of his shirt. He had momentarily forgotten that Misaki was able to tackle and tame the boys of her previous school, so her action was another shock for him. But this just proved that Misaki was beyond angry.
"What's the big deal?!" Misaki demanded angrily. "Do you know..." She swallowed, throwing Ryuu onto his bed.
Ryuu stilled in shock. Unable to move as he fell right back onto his bed as Misaki stood in front of him. He could see her outline shaking with obvious anger. Misaki slowly brought her hand of her mouth. "Do you know..." She said once more.
"Know what?"
"How much of an idiot you are!?"
Tears. He couldn't believe it. Misaki was crying. Why would she cry? She must've known how stubborn he was of not seeing Gerard. She should've known that he would cancel the flight as soon as she was out of sight. She. . .
"Did you know...that Gerard kept asking for you?" Misaki said, as tears still continually fell from her eyes.
Ryuu slowly sat up, "I know."
"You're a big idiot for being so stubborn..." Misaki fell to the floor.
The chill Ryuu felt a while ago suddenly came back. His eyes widen. "What... What are you trying to say?" He felt like he couldn't breathe. Like his lungs refused to let him take a breath... The words Gerard had said in his dream suddenly came back.
"Take care of Takumi for me, when I'm gone."
When I'm gone...
gone...
Misaki looked up to meet his scared eyes. As she saw them, she cried even more. She reached up to him and Ryuu mechanically went to her open arms as he also knelt to the floor.
"He's dead." Misaki whispered, gripping the shirt on his back, "He died an hour ago."
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He couldn't hear.
He couldn't hear anything anymore. . . except for the endless ringing in his ears.
Usui sat frozen in his seat, which was just beside his half-brother's. Seeing Gerard's peaceful expression, he should be at ease. But why does the ringing sound make him so anxious?
He didn't know how long he had sat watching his brother sleep, but doctors were hovering around Gerard's bed. A doctor seemed to be trying to shock Gerard's body, why would they do that? His brother is perfectly fine. A nurse was talking to Usui, yet he couldn't really hear what she was saying. He felt a warm hand touched his arm and he looked up to see Cedric's blank expression.
"Takumi-sama," Cedric all but said.
Usui patted his ears twice and slightly cringed when he could still hear the ringing sound. "Something's wrong with my ear, I think." He mumbled.
"Takumi-sama," Cedric repeated. When Usui didn't answer, Cedric pulled him up by the arm. Usui didn't put up a fight and just let himself get pulled as Cedric dragged him outside Gerard's room.
When Cedric let him go, Usui looked at Cedric questioningly, "Why did you bring me outside?"
Cedric didn't answer.
Usui was about to go inside again but Cedric held his arm once more. Usui tried to shake his hand off yet Cedric's grip became stronger with each struggle.
"Enough, Takumi-sama." Cedric said.
"There's doctors inside with Gerard, maybe I could ask them why I keep hearing a ringing sound, even from here. And why they're doing that to him."
"Takumi-sama!" Cedric said in a hard voice, trying to snap Usui out of his child-like trance.
Usui stopped, and looked back to Cedric. Usui's face didn't have any particular expression at all, he just had the usual bored expression of his. All the more that Cedric knew he was masking everything. "Gerard might be calling for us. You shouldn't leave your master's side."
Cedric looked down the white tiles of the hospital, he still didn't let go of Usui's arm. "Enough," Cedric spoke softly. "Gerard-sama's gone."
"You know that this is a bad joke to play," Usui said seriously as he tried once again to enter his brother's hospital room.
"You heard the machine. Gerard-sama is gone. It was a flat line."
"You know Gerard, he could've just removed the—"
"Takumi-sama." Cedric said firmly.
Suddenly Usui's whole body went limp, Cedric slowly let go of his arm as he stayed on the floor. "The ringing has stopped," He heard Usui murmured.
At the same time, a doctor came out of Gerard's room. The grave expression the doctor wore was enough answer for Cedric. The doctor looked at Usui, who was sitting limply on the floor, then he turned to Cedric. He sadly shook his head at Gerard's loyal butler.
Cedric looked down and watched as Usui leaned his head back onto the wall, his emerald eyes were blank. "He's really gone, isn't he." He said in a detached voice.
"He is," Cedric answered.
"Tsuh," Usui let out his breath, then he started to chuckle, "He actually gave up, and here I thought he was going to wait for Ryuu."
"He knew Ryuu-sama wouldn't come."
"No final words?"
"He had a letter written for Ryuu-sama,"
Usui gave out a short laugh. He brought his hand over his face as he gave out a short laugh once again.
"His last wish," Cedric slowly started, seeing as tears began spilling down Usui's cheeks.
"What is it?" Usui's voice was still strong.
"Was to tell Ryuu-sama immediately when he pass away."
Usui chuckled once again, "He still worried about others rather than himself."
Cedric didn't say a word as Usui brought his hand away from his face, Cedric didn't look at him—as a sign of respect.
"You must have Gerard's phone on you," Usui finally spoke.
"I already had him informed," Referring to Ryuu.
"And?"
"I wasn't able to connect to Ryuu-sama's mobile, so I called Misaki Ashford-sama's."
Upon hearing Misaki's name, Usui froze. Several emotions ran inside him all at the same time. The last time he saw Gerard, Cedric had told him that he should find his own happiness... and that was what his older brother would've wanted for him... but then... isn't he too late already? For all he knows... Ryuu has made a bold move. A lot could happen within a year.
"I want to talk to him." Usui said quietly, his tears already dried. He slowly stood up and met Cedric's eyes with a pair of determined ones. Cedric quietly handed him Gerard's phone.
Usui took a deep calming breath as he dialed Ryuu's number. "Then I'll arrange everything immediately," Cedric said, bowing shortly in front of Usui.
Something twisted within Usui's chest seeing Cedric bow so formally in front of him for the first time. Cedric had always been respectful, but he only showed this much respect in front of his master. Cedric being this respectful to him just met that he had chosen another master, which is only allowable if his current master refused him or died...
Cedric had chosen him...
Because his brother is now dead. . . Usui felt sick.
And when Cedric spoke of arrangements... Gerard's funeral. . .
Usui jerked slightly upon hearing the other end pick up.
"Cedric?"
Usui felt as if someone had knocked the breath out of him as he heard the voice on the other end of the line. It had been so long...
"Hello?" The voice spoke once again after more seconds had passed.
"Can I speak to Ryuu?" Usui finally spoke. "If I'm not mistaken, this was suppose to be his mobile number."
It suddenly became silent on the other end too, the only reassurance that the other end was still there, was the steady sound of someone breathing.
"Ayuz—" Usui immediately stopped himself as he was about to call her former name. He quickly changed his words, "How's Ryuu? Have you told him?"
"Mm," Misaki answered shortly.
"Is he there?"
"Ryuu's not in the best shape to come talk about it right now," Misaki answered hesitantly.
"He should've come." Usui half-snapped. He was slightly surprised at his tone. For some reason, he just realized that he actually felt jealous of Ryuu. The fact that his half-brother's last wish was for Ryuu and what's more... the girl he loves is also with Ryuu...
Misaki, upon hearing the tone of Usui's voice, immediately shifted to Ryuu's defense. "You should know how hard this is for him too! Gerard is practically Ryuu's brother, you should know how he feels."
"Well, does he feel any better not seeing Gerard? He's too late."
"Usui." Misaki's voice was suddenly half pleading.
Pleading for what? For him to understand Ryuu?
"Is that Takumi?" Usui heard someone speaking on the other end.
"Yes," Misaki answered, pulling the phone a few distance away from her ear.
"Let me have a word with him,"
"Ryuu..."
"I'm fine."
Usui heard a long sigh coming from Misaki as he assumed that Misaki handed the phone over to Ryuu.
"I'm heading there as soon as possible." Ryuu spoke briefly.
"You should've done so sooner," Usui replied.
Ryuu chuckled tiredly, "What would you have done if you were the only one that kept him living? That made him have a goal to live, even if it was just a day longer? You would probably have done the same thing as me."
Usui stayed silent as Ryuu's words registered in his thoughts. Would he? Would he have done the same thing Ryuu had done? He wasn't so sure...
"I'll bring Misaki with me." Ryuu added, immediately hanging up the phone before Usui could say another word.
But that proved to be a futile effort, because Usui wouldn't be able to respond anyway, as he suddenly felt his heart thumping loudly to the point where his ears were ringing once again.
Ryuu was bringing Misaki back.
What would that mean?
Will she stay?
Of course not. She has her life and business and future already set out in America. Why would she want to stay here in Japan?
Then maybe...
Usui sighed as he leaned onto the wall.
So many things to think about... Did she choose Ryuu? Is he really too late?
He was mad at Ryuu for not coming to see his brother sooner, he was angry that he didn't do anything when obviously Ryuu would've wanted to see Gerard. He realized that he was being a hypocrite. He, himself, didn't do anything for the whole year. He didn't even pursue Misaki, he didn't even went out of his way to see her...
"I love you," He all but whispered to himself.
~o~o~o~
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"I heard Ryuu was missing..." Shintani panted, he had ran all the way to the room with worry.
Misaki was standing in front of Ryuu's father's desk as Ryuu's father sat behind it. The two looked up from their discussion as Shintani suddenly entered the room without a knock. Shintani took a deep breath as to regulate his breathing.
As Shintani walked across the room, he didn't meet Misaki's eyes. Misaki also noticed that he didn't have his normally cheerful aura around him... well who wouldn't? Shintani swiftly stood beside her.
"Do you have any idea where he may have been?" Misaki asked, her voice was stressed.
She and Ryuu had taken the earliest flight going to Japan from America, and the two were immediately met with an entourage from the Sasaki household. Misaki and Ryuu went straight to Ryuu's mansion where his parents tightly hugged him, and despite everything, Ryuu didn't shed a single tear. To some point, it had worried Misaki.
Gerard's death must have had a great impact on Ryuu... when she broke the news to him, all he had done was stare blankly ahead of him... not a single tear, not a single word.
She was surprised when Ryuu suddenly spoke when she was talking to Usui over the phone. It was the first time he had spoken after the news. And when she studied his face, it didn't seem like he had lost someone important at all. He had just looked... tired.
"I know where to find him." Shintani said quietly.
Misaki's eyes widen. "How would you know where to find him?"
Shintani still didn't look at Misaki straight in the eyes. "He's in pain... and there's only one way for him to drown his pain and forget about them momentarily."
"That child," Ryuu's father, Jiiro, said stiffly, "He couldn't have."
"Sir," Shintani said respectfully, "There's only so much Ryuu can handle."
Misaki looked from Shintani to Ryuu's father. What were they talking about? What does Shintani mean that there could only be so much Ryuu can handle? And why aren't they panicking? Was this something that had already occurred?
"Where is he!?" Misaki couldn't help but demand.
For some reason, Jiiro looked away from Misaki's gaze, and this time Shintani met her eyes.
"When you left," Shintani swallowed. "When we were kids... you must've heard how devastated he was... he was able to cope because he had his sister by his side... and then when Sara-nee-san died..." Shintani looked away, and once again he swallowed. "He..."
"He started getting addicted." Jiiro answered shortly. Ryuu's father sunk further onto his chair as he gave out a long sigh tiredly. And at that moment, Misaki could practically see him age as the seconds passed.
"He started gambling, drinking, and girls..." Shintani murmured.
Misaki's eyes widen.
"He's a perfect gentleman when he needs to be," Shintani instantly jumped to his cousin's defense. "That's why a scandal never broke out. He was just doing it to drown his sadness. He usually did it by night, Ryuu—"
"Enough," Ryuu's father said weakly.
"So he's..." Misaki spoke, then she swallowed hard. "I'll talk to him." She said determinedly.
"Ryuu wouldn't want you to see him like that," Shintani said in a low voice.
"We have no choice," Jiiro said gently, "That child... you should know better than anyone else why he would resort to going back."
Shintani clenched his fists shut as he glared at the wooden floor of the study room. "He should be aware that that isn't the case."
"Which case?" Misaki asked, this time she tried to control herself from snapping. She didn't like it when people seemed to talk in riddles.
Ryuu's father leaned forward as he clasped Misaki's hand which was on top of his desk. He met Misaki's eyes with a gentle gaze, "He's lonely. Ryuu thinks that he is alone. When Sara had died, his mother and I hadn't been there for him. It was our fault. We concentrated too much on Sara's death that we failed to think of our son, who had also lost someone. To us, a daughter and to him, a sister. Gerard-kun had been the one to help him through his pain. This time, he is gone, and there's no one—"
"I'm here for him!" Shintani suddenly shouted.
Misaki and Jiiro jumped at Shintani's sudden outburst.
"Every single time..." Shintani spoke slowly as he tried to control his tears, this wasn't the time for him to be a crybaby. "Ryuu would always help others, he would always think of others before himself. His own happiness cast away for the sake of someone else's... Why doesn't he think that others could do the same for him? I'm his cousin and yet... doesn't he think that he can lean on me when he can't handle it anymore?"
"Hinata-kun..." Jiiro spoke gently. "The fact that you already know how he is..."
"That's why it makes me so angry," Shintani gritted his teeth.
"We'll find him," Misaki suddenly spoke. She placed a reassuring hand on top of Shintani's shoulder.
The conviction in her voice made Shintani look up. As he looked at her, he was suddenly frozen with awe.
There it was.
The strong will in her eyes.
The girl he had fallen in love with.
The girl who never backed down.
Not the girl who was trained to control her actions, to speak in a gentled-manner, to move with grace— no. This wasn't that girl anymore.
This is Misaki Ayuzawa.
Shintani shook his head as he wiped away his spilling tears, he chuckled shortly. "And here I thought I've gotten over you," He mumbled to himself.
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It was silent as Misaki and Shintani rode the car, the only sound that came was when Shintani spoke to give directions to the driver.
Both of them were buried in their own thoughts...worrying about Ryuu.
Shintani looked outside the window as he silently clenched his hands closed. His stupid cousin... It made him so angry knowing that Ryuu thinks that he is lonely. For someone who had a lot of charisma and talents...
"What was he like?"
Shintani flinched when Misaki suddenly spoke. He looked beside him and saw that Misaki was still looking outside the window.
"If I remember... someone had mentioned that he changed when I came back..."
Shintani sighed, "Always... he had always wanted to see you. But because he wanted to protect you in his own way, he withheld his selfish desires. I can't exactly remember when he changed completely, but it was around Sara-nee-chan's death. Ryuu was close to her fiance and he wanted to see him. But Ryuu's father said it was too dangerous... knowing what their family could do."
Misaki slowly looked at Shintani. She still couldn't believe it. She remembered her childhood with Shintani clearly and this is really the first time she had seen him like this. Even when she returned to the household, Shintani was always cheerful and always had an innocent view of the world. To think that even he was aware of those things...
"He rebelled. But you know what's funny?" Shintani glanced at Misaki with a small smile, "He never broke the rules. I mean, he never went to see Sara-nee-chan's fiance and he never went to see you—wait," He shook his head, "He never came into contact with you. While yes, he'd watch you from afar, he never spoke to you."
"And his rebellion?"
Shintani shook his head, "I've said it back then, the gambling, drinking... It was like he turned into a completely different person, he changed the way he looked. He became cooler, if you ask me." He chuckled softly. "He'd act like a total jerk all the time, he'd hang out with bad friends... but every time I got into trouble, or when I was bullied... Ryuu was always there. He'd brush me off, call me names, but he can never hide the fact that he's always worrying about me."
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"You're annoying!"
Shintani groaned as one of his upperclassmen pushed him against a wall. He winced as he felt that one of his shoulder bones might've cracked.
"Where's your sunny face now? Always putting up that cheerful smile, it's so damn annoying,"
Despite the pain he was feeling from his shoulder, and from the bruises on his face, Shintani forced a smile. "What's wrong with being cheerful all the time?"
"Damn you—"
"What's going on here?" A deep voice spoke.
Shintani looked up and saw the scary face of his cousin. His senpai immediately turned around, and upon seeing Ryuu— who had a fixed glare— he shuddered.
"R-Ryuu-san,"
"Ahh," Ryuu sighed as he scratched the back of his head. "I'm really pissed off right now." Ryuu walked slowly towards the senpai, and the senpai instinctively took steps back until his back hit the wall.
"S-Shouldn't you be in a university right now, Ryuu-san? A-and why would you be pissed off? Don't tell me you feel sorry for a weakling like him!" The senpai glared at Shintani.
Ryuu stretched out a hand and placed it beside Senpai's head, covering his view of Shintani. The senpai shuddered once again. Then Ryuu looked to the side and regarded Shintani with a bored look. "I could care less." Then he looked back at the senpai, "As you said, he's just a weakling. And as I was saying," Ryuu entered his free hand inside his pocket, "I'm pissed off right now because I learned that the girl I was seeing was seeing someone else."
"S-She's also having an affair?"
"Also?" Ryuu said darkly.
"W-Well, you're pretty famous for being a p-playboy, R-R-Ryuu-san."
Ryuu slammed the hand which was inside his pocket, beside onto the other side of Senpai's head. The senpai whimpered as he shut his eyes tightly.
With that, Ryuu chuckled as he straightened.
The senpai opened his eyes to see Ryuu laughing without humor.
"Here you are, calling someone else a weakling, when in fact, you're one yourself." Ryuu turned around, "I want you gone within ten seconds."
Shintani saw his senpai stagger as if he had lost the energy in his legs as he tried to get away as soon as possible. As soon as he was gone, Shintani turned to look at his cousin who was staring blankly ahead of him. For him, this was a normal sight. He concluded that Ryuu might've been thinking about his tragic past.
Shintani took a deep breath and smiled brightly, "Ryuu~!"
"Stay away from me." Ryuu looked at him with a death glare.
"You're mad at me too?" Shintani said cutely, "After you came all the way to see me?"
"I didn't come here to see you, I just happened to pass by on the way home." Ryuu said shortly as he started to walk away.
Shintani chuckled as his cousin left, he shook his head, "Yeah right. Your house is just by your university. Why would you come to my school, which is clearly out of the way?"
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Shintani chuckled at the memory.
"Anything relatively funny?" Misaki half-snapped.
"Sorry," Shintani smiled. He nearly forgot about the situation at hand. He looked at Misaki and saw that she was fidgeting in her seat, probably worrying. "Don't worry too much," Shintani said cheerfully.
Misaki was surprised with the sudden enthusiasm and cheer in Shintani's voice. She tried to study his face to see any signs that he was just trying to act cheerful... but, he was genuine.
Before she could speak, the driver had spoken. "We're here, Hinata-sama."
Misaki immediately looked outside the window, for a moment she was about to ask if they were in the right place. It was so crowded and they were surrounded by buildings with neon signs. Advertisements of karaoke, prices for motels, bars opened until midnight... Then she remembered.
This was Ryuu's life when he had broken down... this was his crowd... his safe house from the pain of reality...
As Misaki stepped out of the car, someone immediately placed an arm over her shoulder. "What a nice car, ojou-sama. What are you doing here? Looking for—"
"Don't you dare touch me," Misaki spoke menacingly as she gripped the arm which was on her and swiftly threw the middle-aged man onto the floor.
Misaki was about to beat the guy when she heard someone chuckled. She looked up and saw Shintani stifling his laughter. "I guess I shouldn't have worried about bringing you to a place like this."
Misaki suddenly blushed at his implication. "I'm sorry I'm not lady-like enough," She grumbled.
"You were never lady-like to begin with too." He chuckled, "Well then, let's go." As soon as Shintani turned around, the smile on his face faded. He looked ahead of him and immediately saw a dark alley.
He had followed Ryuu once, and this place brought nothing but bad memories for him. This place was an eye opener, he had realized that he had lived a pampered and spoiled life. The first and last time he came here was where everything began. He had viewed the world differently. He had learned of the foul ways of the people... especially the Walker's.
He shook his head and took a deep breath as he stood at the mouth of the dark alley.
"Are you sure about this place?" Misaki asked right behind him. "It's pitch black."
"I'm certain," Shintani smiled as he looked back, "Unless you want to hold my hand?" He reached out his hand for her.
Misaki tried to study Shintani's face once more. She felt that something wasn't quite right...
"Ara? Weren't you the young man who had followed Ryuu-sama here a few years back?"
From the dark alley, emerged two women. One had curly dark raven hair and the other had a long fiery red hair, both were slim and tall, and most of all, they were beautiful.
Prostitutes? Misaki distastefully thought.
"Have you see Ryuu around?" Shintani immediately spoke.
The girl with raven hair lit up a cigarette as she regarded Shintani, "Well, you've grown up to be a fine man. Would you want to be our customer?"
The one with red hair laughed shortly, "Can't you see he has a girl with him? Come on Ai."
"He asked you a question!" Misaki suddenly demanded, "Can you please answer him?"
"Oh? And you've got an attitude." Ai said. She laughed too, "No, we haven't seen Ryuu-kun around. I miss him though, it had always been fun with him around." Then she brought the cigarette to her lips.
"Speaking of Ryuu-sama," The other girl spoke, looking only at Shintani, "How is he?" She asked sincerely, "We got a little worried when he stopped showing up. Is he still hurting?"
Ai rolled her eyes, "You shouldn't worry so much about him. He didn't show up, then it just means that he's fine now."
"But he came here looking for him,"
"Gerard-san passed away," Shintani said in a small voice.
Both girls who were talking suddenly froze. Misaki looked at Shintani with surprise. Why did he tell them about that? And what's with the reaction the two women had? It seemed like they know about Gerard and his relationship with Ryuu.
"Did he disappear after his death?" Ai's cigarette suddenly fell onto the floor as she spoke wide-eyed and worried.
Shitnani nodded slowly.
"Damn, poor kid," Ai said, "I can still remember when he first came here, looking lost."
"He was crying, wasn't he?" The other girl spoke sadly.
"Crying?" Misaki said.
The girl nodded, "His sister had just passed away. I think he was around 16 at that time. He kept saying the words 'I want to see her', 'I miss her', 'I love her so much'. It was later that he told us that it wasn't his sister he was talking about, but a girl he had loved since he was young."
Misaki stiffened.
Shintani shifted from his spot, "If Ryuu's not here, we'll try looking somewhere else. Thank you." He hastily pulled Misaki's arm as he tried to go back to the car's direction.
"You're that girl, aren't you?" Ai spoke while Misaki and Shintain's backs were turned to them.
"Ai?" The other girl was confused.
"You should know damn well that you're now his only hope. Since Ryuu-kun is missing, it means that you do not return his feelings at all. That kid has gone through so much pain because of you. The pain he felt when he lost his sister is still nothing compared to the pain he felt upon losing you. Now that you're within his reach again, it turns out he still can't have you. Maybe you'd think he's devastated right now because of the death of his sister's fiance, but don't you think that it's possible that it's all because of you?"
"Misaki-chan came back a year ago already," Shintani spoke stiffly without turning back, "You can't place the blame on her."
"You too," Ai spoke, "His precious cousin, right? You're in love with her, aren't you? You should know Ryuu-kun's personality very well. Let me guess, he must've held back his feelings when this ojou-sama returned, because he was aware of your feelings."
"Ai, stop it," The other girl said softly. She noticed that Misaki had begun shaking.
Ai shook her head, "They should know how much pain they've inflicted on Ryuu-kun. He's a good kid. He should never have come here, at such a young age too. He—"
"Right! I knew that from the start!" Misaki shouted angrily as she turned around to face them, "Ryuu would always think of others first! But it's his decision to do so! Even if I tell him to be selfish, he wouldn't! Because he chose to do so! What Ryuu wants to do with his life, it's his choice! It's his choice to find happiness!"
Shintani stood speechless beside Misaki as he watch her explode.
When she finished speaking, she immediately walked away ahead of him. Shintani turned briefly, only to see the shocked faces of the two women. "Well said."
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"So those were..." Misaki trailed off as she let her assumption hang in the air. She watched the people outside the car, getting out of the way as the car slowly maneuvered around the crowded place.
"Yes, they're prostitutes," Shintani sighed as he leaned his head back on the seat's headrest.
"Where do we head next, Hinata-sama?" The driver interrupted as soon as he was able to drive on the main rode again.
"Remember that place where we always pick Ryuu up? Let's head there." Shintani answered.
"Hai."
"Age 16, she said... so Ryuu had been doing those things," She said disgustedly, "For four years."
"Hey." Shintani moved his head forward as he stared at Misaki with surprise, "What thoughts are running inside your head right now? Are you thinking that Ryuu's been engaging in something with those prostitutes?"
Misaki suddenly blushed at the delicate topic. "They are prostitutes," She reasoned.
Shintani shook his head and chuckled. "You don't know him too well. The ones we met back there were Ai and Maaya. There was one time I followed Ryuu there because I've been told that he always went back to the mansion in the morning. The only time I followed Ryuu, I'd been found out— by Ai-san. Ryuu didn't know I was there, but I saw what he had been doing."
"Drinking?"
"No," He shook his head, "I never told anyone... but the fact about Ryuu drinking and gambling were lies he decided to spread on his own. When I saw him...he was crying." Shintani said gently.
"Crying? Then—"
"Ai and Maaya were like a substitute for Sara-nee-chan. They were like Ryuu's older sisters. Ai-san had told me that they had first seen him drinking in the streets and he had accidentally collapsed in front of the place where they work. When she and Maaya-san took him inside the bar, Ryuu had poured his heart out. You've seen how Ai-san and Maaya-san are. Ai-san is a very frank person while Maaya-san is a soft-hearted one. Hearing Ryuu's pain... well, they helped him."
"I thought Gerard was there for him."
"You forgot, for a time, Gerard was locked away."
Misaki was quiet once again.
"There's one more place where we can search for him. It's the only last place I could think of."
"Where—" Misaki stopped abruptly as she recognized the street they were in.
"Here," Shintani spoke, opening the car door. "Is where Ryuu would spend majority of his free time."
Misaki got out of the car and her eyes widen at the sight in front of her. "This is... Seika Academy."
"He would always come here, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. His usual accomplice would be Gerard," He chuckled shortly. "And every time they get back home, Sara-nee-chan would scold them."
"Were there spies following them?" Misaki answered in a small voice.
Shintani shook his head, "It's because Ryuu would always have a bright smile upon his face."
Misaki swallowed as she felt a pang of guilt suddenly stab her.
It was clear. So clear to everyone that she meant everything to Ryuu... That all Ryuu had been waiting for was her return. Everyone could see it clearly in his eyes, his face, his actions...
She clenched her fists closed as she stared at the black hood of the car.
He had practically given his everything just for her. But what was she giving him back in return? Ryuu helped her in so many ways. He helped her when she was in an inescapable situation, he helped her when she didn't want to hurt Shintani, he helped her... he helped her with her heart... But what was she doing for him?
She was hurting him over and over again.
He stayed by her side the whole time... without a single word of complaint. The one time he was selfish, she had rejected him...
"He shouldn't love me this much," Misaki said under her breath.
Shintani turned to look at her as he heard the words. He regarded her with sad eyes. "That was his choice, like you said."
"I—"
Shintani cocked his head to the side, gesturing to a certain direction. Misaki looked too and saw a familiar dark maroon haired gentleman sitting on a bench, staring ahead. "Go," Shintani said softly.
"Shouldn't you...?" Misaki couldn't speak anymore, her voice was suddenly dry.
"Go," Shintani urged again. "Just don't break his heart too much." Before Misaki could say anything, Shintani ducked inside the car and had the driver drive backward immediately.
"Are you sure Hinata-sama?" The driver asked as he had driven the car to another corner.
"It's fine." Shintani said in a tight voice. He brought his hand to his cheeks, feeling the dampness. "If I was able to handle it, then Ryuu would be able to handle it too."
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Ryuu sighed once more as he stared at the blank beige wall across from him. It was almost nighttime... He had been sitting here the whole time. There was so much memories which he was able to relieve here. Memories he had spent with Gerard, where the two of them were watching quietly for the moment where a certain raven haired girl would walk by.
They had shared numerous laughter most especially when Misaki had entered the high school division. He saw how rough she handled the delinquents in her school. Though he found it amusing, at the same time, he admired her.
She was strong-willed.
He knew that if she were to get mixed in their politics once again, Misaki wouldn't break down that easily. She would always find a way.
As he thought of those, he guessed that everyone was probably worrying over his disappearance.
He couldn't help it.
For one day, he wanted to be alone. Coming back here had been painful, most especially the reason for his return. Two things will be taken away from him at the same time...
Gerard. . .
...and Misaki. . .
He's going to lose her now. The fantasy he had been living in for one year is about to end as soon as he attends Gerard's funeral... or maybe sooner. Bringing her here...
The diamond ring...
It suddenly flashed inside his mind. The ring she wore...
"WHAT KIND OF IDIOT ARE YOU!?"
Ryuu fell from the chair at the sudden surprise he had. He turned wide-eyed with his hand on his heart as he saw an angry Misaki hovering in front of him. As soon as he saw her face, he turned away.
"What are you doing here," Ryuu said in a half-angry tone.
"Everyone was worrying about you!"
Ryuu held onto the bench as he tried to support himself up, "And they sent you as part of the search team?" He brushed some dirt off his clothes while avoiding Misaki's glare. "You didn't have to come find me. I need time alone."
"I'm sorry."
Ryuu flinched and accidentally looked at her. Misaki had a guilty expression upon her face as she held one of her arm.
"I can understand why." Ryuu suddenly comprehended. He looked at the cobblestone underneath his feet, "You didn't have to say it."
"I have to." Misaki said, "I have to say it, because if I don't, you wouldn't give up."
"It's my choice to keep on fighting."
"You're being unreasonable!"
"Since when did love become reasonable?" Ryuu chuckled shortly.
Ryuu's nonchalance bothered Misaki. She felt herself getting worked up again.
"I'll never be able to return your feelings." Misaki said frankly.
"I know that."
"No, you don't understand!"
Ryuu was about to talk back until he saw her face. The fire in his features suddenly faded. He clenched his hands to his side. "You know how much I hate to see you cry," He said gently.
"I can tell what your heart is planning," Misaki spoke, ignoring the tears falling down her cheeks. "You're hoping. Hoping, hoping and hoping. Hoping that one day Usui would leave me. Then you'd stay by my side until I'd look at you the way you want me to. That will never happen."
"You—"
"I'm certain!" Misaki's voice broke. "Even if Usui leaves me, I can never turn to you! I'd feel guilty all my life! I'd feel as if I'd used you. Like I've kept you on reserve."
"I wouldn't mind..."
"But I will..." Misaki said gently. "I love you, but it's not the same love you feel for me. I love you like a brother."
The hand that Ryuu was about to use to reach Misaki suddenly flinched back. He staggered a step back and chuckled unsteadily. "That's unfair Misaki. That line is one hell of an excuse. That's the worst thing you could say."
"Then hate me. Hate me and forget about me." Misaki tried to adjust her gaze into a strong one as she looked at his faltering expression.
"Misaki..."
"I can never return your feelings... You're more than aware of that Ryuu..." She brought her left hand in front of her, the back of it facing Ryuu. "Ever since that day I accepted this ring... you knew that I can never be yours..." She bit her lips as she felt her voice about to shake. "That's why... every time you tell me you love me... you always had a bright smile on you face. You never showed me your real heart..."
Ryuu could feel hot tears at the back of his eyes, but he held it in. He urged himself forward and suddenly wrapped Misaki in a tight hug.
"It hurts." Ryuu spoke, "It hurts so much to love you. You're so cruel. I've been the one who stayed by your side the whole time. What had he done for you? He never even flew up to see you."
Misaki slowly brought her arms around Ryuu as she felt his shaking form.
"I love you so much, you're every thing to me. I'm willing to let go of everything if you wished. I'm willing to do anything as long as you stay by my side. Sara-nee-san is gone and so is Gerard-nii-san. You're the only one I have left."
"Idiot!" Misaki griped his shirt, "Shintani is there for you..."
"It's different."
"I can't stay by your side..."
Ryuu's hold on her tightened as she said those words and he suddenly let go. Misaki took a few steps back as she saw his pained expression. "I'm sorry," She repeated. Wiping her tears away.
"Please," Ryuu said pleadingly, "Leave me alone..."
"I won't leave you." Misaki said determinedly, she slowly reached his arm.
Ryuu moved his arm away from her reach. "It's enough!" Ryuu suddenly said angrily, "If you stay with me, I can't be the nice guy anymore, Misaki! Stay away from me!"
Despite his words, Misaki stood her ground as she watched him fall onto the bench. After a few seconds passed, Misaki sat by his side. Ryuu didn't look at her nor acknowledge her. He just sat silently, his eyes hidden from her sight.
"I'll be with you until the funeral is over," Misaki said gently with a steady voice, even though silent tears flowed once again.
She brought her hand on top of his and she tightened her hold. "I'm sorry..."
"I love you so much..." Ryuu said in a dry voice.
Misaki felt droplets falling on top of her hand...
...and she realized...
He was crying...
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A/N: Review please! :)