Later Leaving Rin
"You aren't serious…you missed me? What a joke."
"It is no joke Inuyasha; my youki noticed the absence of your own and was incomplete; your aura had gone, my youkai tried to tell me what had happened to you. I thought you had gone forever."
"You are such a liar Sesshoumaru; the day you miss me will be the day your brain turns to slush."
"You are calling me a liar Inuyasha; you are treading on thin ground to call my honour into question like that." The Daiyoukai felt the familiar anger for his brother return and stamped on it; he was older and wiser now and could recognise Inuyasha's taunts for what they really were, an expression of his anguish. Not that that would have mattered before but Sesshoumaru's newer understanding of his own actions in the past tempered his responses.
"Feh!" was the sneered reply to which Sesshoumaru glared before his gaze softened.
"Is it so hard to believe This Sesshoumaru would feel the loss of his only brother Inuyasha?"
"Yeah, absolutely unbelievable; but you don't have to worry or try to bribe me with your concern for me…I'll look after your brat without all the tripe. But tell me Sesshoumaru, how do you want her brought up? "
"I do not understand what you are asking Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru didn't like the sneer on Inuyasha's face, the expression was all wrong; the pup did anger well, but not this sly look.
"I mean, I can beat her when she cries for you well enough; but if she asks questions it's a bit more difficult, a spanking won't be quite so effective without the hint of poison claw to keep the burn going all night." Inuyasha's eyes glowed with a harsh and bitter light as Sesshoumaru grabbed him and pushed him roughly against the tree trunk holding him around the neck in a tight grip. Once again the pup sneered at him; rasping as he fought to breathe.
"I forgot your preference brother for the choke hold; how long should I make her bruises last?" Inuyasha found himself dropped gracelessly on the ground and Sesshoumaru had vanished. After making sure he was alone, Inuyasha put his fingers to his neck trying to ease the soreness and then the whole bizarre situation crashed in on him and he found himself hacking great sobs. Everything recently had been too much and he began to mutter to himself.
"I'd never hurt a kid like that; even his perfect human kid, not that she ever does anything wrong. 'Yes Lord Sesshoumaru, no Lord Sesshoumaru, anything you say Lord Sesshoumaru.' Feh! I couldn't do anything right no matter how hard I tried to please him. What a laugh, he says he missed me; well what about when I missed him, years and years alone not just three bloody days. Damned liar."
"I have made many wrong decisions concerning you Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru said as he entered the clearing again. Inuyasha turned his face away but his brother stopped him from leaving and put his hand gently to his little brother's injured neck. "I regret my actions towards you, this included; I know you would not harm Rin. I was angry because you made me feel my guilt, but it was your right and I should not have reacted."
Sesshoumaru went with his instincts and for the first time he placed his arm round his brother's shoulders gently pulling him close to him and brought his tail to secure the boy until he felt Inuyasha relax slightly against him.
"I did miss you Inuyasha, it took your disappearance for me to see the truth behind my hatred of you; I would like at least not to be considered your enemy in the future."
"You are such a cruel bastard Sesshoumaru; I don't trust you at all." And despite the fact that he felt secure, Inuyasha tried to pull away. Sesshoumaru however wouldn't let him go at that and tightened his tail."
"Never fear me again Inuyasha: This Sesshoumaru will prove to you that I have changed toward you."
"I'm not afraid of you; you can sneer at me all you want, Kagome did at least teach me how to accept myself and that I don't have to apologise for who or what I am anymore. I have as much right to live as you or anyone else, even that little human who can do no wrong."
"You are correct; you have the right to be who you want to be and above all you are our father's son and my brother."
"Feh! You'd better go and say goodbye to your brat if you are leaving today."
"Very well Inuyasha, farewell; I shall return soon." Sesshoumaru walked away without a backward glance knowing that the boy was barely holding himself together and giving him the privacy he desperately required. The Daiyoukai had heard his brother's grief earlier and recognised that Inuyasha didn't feel happy with him around. It was a great shame, because now Sesshoumaru felt the need to protect and comfort his brother; but he had done so much to belittle Inuyasha that the pup couldn't trust that he had changed.
Now for his main responsibility; he walked to the hut where Rin awaited him. She had been very good and slightly formal as he bade her be good and learn all she could from the elderly human who was a respectable female. He reiterated his intention to visit her and oversee the area with Inuyasha. Rin had nodded in all the right places and thanked her Lord for his concerns for her; asked him to thank Jaken and Ah-Un for their care and let him leave the hut without breaking down, although he heard her sob as he closed the door flap behind him.
For a while Sesshoumaru just wanted to walk and take in the calming scents of the nature around him. He had sent Jaken on ahead with the two headed dragon so that he could alert the Palace of their Master's imminent return. He had been walking for only an hour or so when he became aware of a familiar presence and knew that Rin followed him. He supposed that her familiarity and the fact he had been deeply thinking had not alerted him sooner; that and the fact she was trying to hide from him.
"Rin, come out and come to me." He waited for her to obey knowing that she would do so immediately, unlike Inuyasha who would come eventually and reluctantly. She did and he was moved at the sight of her tearstained face; but he knew he couldn't take her with him and so he was relentless.
"Rin, you promised This Sesshoumaru to be obedient; I thought I could rely on you not to cause me problems."
"Rin…Rin is sorry but…"
"No Rin, you will have made others worry about your safety and now I must take you back and spend time I do not have in doing so."
"Please take me with you; Rin won't be a bother…please, please don't leave Rin all alone. Rin loves you." She promptly burst into noisy tears and covered her face with her hands. Sesshoumaru was stunned for a while, of course he knew that the child loved him but her heartbroken declaration tugged at his heart strings as he remembered the other who had declared exactly the same thing as he was abandoned.
He had to remember though that he was not leaving the girl in the same dire straits as he had Inuyasha; he had prepared a safe home for his Rin, besides her travelling with him was not an option. But he couldn't leave her in such anguish without saying something. He wrapped his tail around her and spoke gently, words that were soft but reached her soul.
"Rin, you touch This Sesshoumaru very deeply; I even have love for you too, but it is not safe for you to come with me anymore and you must trust me and do as I say. Perhaps a time will come when we can travel again but this I do not know. Will you stay where I have put you safely now? I will need your promise this time."
"Rin promises, but she doesn't like it."
"This Sesshoumaru wishes he could take his Rin too; it would make me happy, but I shall return for visits." Then he did something he never had done before and kissed her on the forehead, making her eyes shine with happiness.
"Very touching and all that, but I am supposed to keep an eye on the brat. You want me to take her back?" The sneer was clear in Inuyasha's voice, but the overly bright eyes told another story to Sesshoumaru who stared at his brother. There was clear jealousy shining in his face and the Daiyoukai wondered how wise it was to entrust the girl to the hanyou, in whose eyes the hurt was plain to see.
Inuyasha was no fool, he could see his brother's consternation and it amused and annoyed him; amused because it was good to get under his brother's skin and annoyed because Sesshoumaru had never once cared for him in the same way. Sesshoumaru had never made sure Inuyasha came to no harm from his jealous anger.
Then it all seemed futile to the hanyou; he wasn't going to hurt the girl ever and he wouldn't frighten her either, she was no different to him really, an unwanted orphan. At least she wasn't an obnoxious child. Sesshoumaru saw Inuyasha's face drop and become sad and resigned and felt shame that he would have thought for a moment that Inuyasha was a risk. He had promised that the child would be safe and Inuyasha's word had always been true; besides which Sesshoumaru knew that the boy was a kindly soul and honourable.
"I would indeed consider it a great kindness if you would see to Rin's return for me Inuyasha."
"Feh, come on brat; Kaede's got food for us." He reached out his hand and Rin took it without hesitation. She knew that Inuyasha might sound rough and ready but she trusted him and they walked away leaving Sesshoumaru feeling bereft in an absurd way. The formerly despised pup and the beloved child; both having been his responsibilities and now hand in hand, while he left them, it seemed all wrong somehow.
But there was not a lot that was sentimental about Sesshoumaru and sentiment had never been the decision making factor in his life and that was not about to change. He had turned into his ball of youki energy and gone to his Palace in record time, an empty feeling still holding him fast. The feeling never let up all the while that he worked hard with his advisors and it was six weeks before he was free to visit.
Sesshoumaru didn't go empty handed; Jaken had found some pretty ribbons in the market and had asked his Lord if he would give it to the girl as a present from him. To the ribbons Sesshoumaru added a new brush for Rin's hair; he planned to stay for the day with the girl and to catch up on what was happening.
Rin was waiting for him jumping excitedly from foot to foot; Inuyasha having told her that Sesshoumaru was on his way. He stayed out of the way sitting on the roof of the hut although his eyes missed nothing; he saw the way that Rin clung to Sesshoumaru's leg and how the Daiyoukai patted her head. He saw the joy on her face as she was given the gifts and how she danced around with the ribbons held against her head.
"Thank you My Lord, they are all so pretty and the brush is beautiful." And it was; decorated with coloured glass flowers and metal inlay along the back and handle.
"You are welcome Rin; do you wish to come with me for a while?"
"Yes please Lord Sesshoumaru."
"Inuyasha, will you let the Miko know that Rin is safe?"
"Feh!" Was the only answer, Inuyasha hadn't turned round to acknowledge Sesshoumaru.
"Did you bring Lord Inuyasha a present too Lord Sesshoumaru?"
"No, I did not Rin; did you expect me to bring you something Little Brother?"
"Hell no; you've never given me anything, you only come to take when you see me."
"Did you never get a present Lord Inuyasha?" Rin was sounding distressed, she remembered presents even if they had been meagre and home made; her parents and brother always made sure she had things to play with.
"I have a ball my Mama gave me. I used to have a whip and top but kids broke them." Who needs gifts anyhow? I got my fire rat and Tessaiga; that's all I need." Inuyasha leapt off the roof and into the hut, then after speaking with Kaede he vanished into the forest leaving his brother and Rin to their visit.
Rin was quiet and thoughtful as she looked out to the forest where her new friend had vanished. Sesshoumaru noticed her expression and tried to distract her.
"You know very well that Inuyasha and This Sesshoumaru have not been on the best of terms Rin."
"Yes My Lord; but he has never had many presents. Rin always had toys and friends before; Lord Inuyasha never had either. He makes Rin feel sad."
"What has Inuyasha been telling you Rin?" Sesshoumaru was worried; he didn't want the innocence of Rin tainted by knowing of his little brother's hard past. However Inuyasha was very private person and it would have been most unusual for him to suddenly start telling anyone about his business.
"He doesn't tell Rin anything much, but Rin can add up. Little things she hears from all around, people tell Rin all sorts of things about Lord Inuyasha; and I remember how you and Jaken hated him. Lady Kaede knows a lot too, she knew him when she was a little girl smaller than Rin. People don't always know that children listen."
That was the truth of course and Sesshoumaru lead Rin to the well clearing where there was shade and flowers and he sat down to listen to the girl chatter away; he had missed her more than he thought possible. But he learned a lot too; Rin was very observant and highly intelligent and she told him more than she realised she knew. She was very fond of Inuyasha and had decided to befriend him even though he was distant with her.
She recognised why Inuyasha was not always nice to her and she was sad about it; sad that a little child exactly like she had been, had been treated so harshly by every one, but there was no caring Lord to rescue him. Rin did not berate her master; it was not in her nature, but her grief stemmed from the fact that Sesshoumaru too had lost out in not being able to love his brother and being family.
Rin told her Lord of the time that she had awoken in tears after a particularly painful dream where she thought Sesshoumaru had left her never to come back. Inuyasha had for the first time allowed her to sit in his lap and had promised her that Sesshoumaru wouldn't forget the girl. When she asked how Inuyasha could be so sure, he had said that there had been many times when he had wished Sesshoumaru forgot he had a hanyou half brother. But he never had, so it was hardly likely he would forget the pure little human whom he loved.
Sesshoumaru had never considered before how Inuyasha saw things; the boy's perspective of his treatment and life was unimportant before. Now however the Daiyoukai realised that if he wished to make a relationship with Inuyasha, it might take more than just changing his conduct. It might also take some form of reparation, and was Sesshoumaru willing to actively seek forgiveness? Could he humble himself so obviously to the hanyou?
The well clearing too was eloquent; Sesshoumaru could tell that none of the humans came here anymore but the scent of his brother was strong. Inuyasha was keeping vigil on the well; he had even tried to jump down it several times and his disappointment was manifest in the salty residue that was left in the area. Sesshoumaru suddenly became aware of his brother softly growling in a tree close by, but he was not to be intimidated by a noisy pup.
"Come and join us Inuyasha rather than stay sulking up there."
"Go away Sesshoumaru, this is my place; I don't want you and the girl out here."
"Stop being ridiculous pup and come here; the evidence heavily suggests you have need of company, and your friends, why do they not come here with you?
"That ain't none of your business; but Sango don't like to be reminded that Kagome's gone so they don't come and that suits me fine, I don't want anyone else here."
"Inuyasha, it is not healthy for you to come here too often; your misery will draw enemies to you, ones who will lie in wait for you to be disadvantaged."
"Please go away from here both of you; I come here to be private, no one else comes and I want it to stay that way. If something comes to fight, well let it; it's always been that way Sesshoumaru, wherever I've lived or however I've been, something tries to kill me and they haven't done yet. Perhaps it's time they did."
"Inuyasha, it's time all that changed."
"Feh! Go away from here; I'm done talking." Inuyasha once again vanished into the canopy and his presence this time was gone.
"Lord Inuyasha is sometimes very lonely when he comes back to the hut; he doesn't always come in but stays on the roof and Rin has heard him crying. Rin went to find him once and he growled at me, but his eyes were red and puffy like Rin's were when Lord Sesshoumaru left me."
"You are sure he was not transforming Rin; had his eyes turned blood red?"
"No, they were gold, just red where he had rubbed them. Besides Kaede wasn't worried; she just told me to leave the boy be. She usually waits a while then takes him some soup when he stays outside on the roof."
"Do his other friends not take notice or care for him?"
"Lord Inuyasha says they are busy at the moment; Miroku is building a hut for Sango, they are going to be married and some of the men are helping as he wants a small shrine too and Sango is busy with the women weaving and stitching."
Sesshoumaru was concerned for Inuyasha now; he was afraid that the boy might become reckless if he got further depressed. He decided to visit more frequently and to leave a pigeon with Kaede in case she wished to contact him swiftly.
TBC