Later 13 Damage Control
Time seemed to stand still in the split seconds it took for Sesshoumaru to regain his equilibrium and absorb the effects on those around him because of his lost self control. To the Daiyoukai's surprise as he had not sensed him, Miroku darted out from the edge of the clearing and brushed straight by him to kneel at the side of the unconscious human Inuyasha. Rin meantime stopped looking at her Lord with her angry stare to go to help the monk assess the damage to their friend. Ignoring the youkai completely, Miroku spoke to Rin;
"We need two splints for his leg and binding for the leg and ribs; you stay with him, I will fetch Kaede."
"Of course Miroku; there are herbs for pain and fever near here that I can gather."
"You will not fetch the old one; I will assist you to set the bone." Sesshoumaru said and gave Miroku two pieces of cloth that had once been the Daiyoukai's obi. He had cut it in two and now knelt by his brother.
"I must set the bone before he comes round Lord Sesshoumaru." Miroku said, with no inflection or the usual warmth in his tone.
"This Sesshoumaru will assist with the traction; but firstly I will obtain the splints." He did so by cutting down two branches from a nearby small tree and trimming them to size with his claws. Miroku supported Inuyasha from behind while Sesshoumaru pulled the leg to make sure the bone was aligned. It would of course accelerate in healing when the morning came, but if not immobilised would cause unnecessary pain for the human.
Inuyasha's eyes flew open and he screamed as the painful pull reached his brain only to pass out again almost instantly, for which they were all thankful. Swiftly but with great care, Sesshoumaru lifted and wrapped the splints around Inuyasha's leg and then told Miroku to go and prepare Kagome for the invalid. Miroku did so, biting his tongue at being ordered by the pompous youkai who he knew was to blame for his friend's sorry condition.
When he had gone, Sesshoumaru cut off Inuyasha's shirt and ran his tongue over the claw marks in order to neutralise any poison that might have been left there; he hadn't wanted the perverted monk to witness his actions and Rin already knew what he was doing. Then he wrapped Inuyasha's ribs tightly with the rest of the obi and the herbs Rin had collected and lifted his brother to carry him to the little house where a shocked Kagome waited, a lantern in her hand.
Kagome directed Sesshoumaru to the futon and let him place Inuyasha down gently; the hanyou was breathing shallowly but normally, except for the hitch where even in sleep he registered the pain of his injuries. Kagome prepared painkilling herbs for when he woke and then rested his head on her knees and stroked his hair from his face. She said nothing to Sesshoumaru; she didn't know what she could say after hearing his shout, and her heart bled for her mate.
The pups were all wide eyed and getting distressed too, they had heard their uncle's roar but didn't understand; so Miroku offered to take them back with him, Sango wouldn't mind looking after them for the night. The pups didn't want to leave their parents, but Sesshoumaru said that Papa was going to be alright if they allowed him to rest and so in obedience to him, they said goodnight and left with Miroku.
There was an awkward silence once the children had gone; for the first time since she'd known the Daiyoukai, Kagome couldn't look him in the eyes. Sesshoumaru also was at a loss, he wanted to deny his words, apologise and explain, at least in his own way; but he found he couldn't. Mainly because he didn't know what had come over him in the first place and the one he needed to have understand, was unconscious. Besides which, he had the horrible feeling that he had undone these few years of Inuyasha's trust with his uncontrolled outburst.
Sesshoumaru knew he wouldn't forget the despair clearly visible in the violet eyes of his human brother on hearing the damning names he'd called him. But perhaps if he just told Inuyasha that he hadn't meant the words…no, that wouldn't work; the youkai knew that Inuyasha's insecurities were only under the surface and hadn't been erased.
He also knew that if he'd been human and been obvious with his sorrow and begged forgiveness, Kagome would have understood him, and even perhaps have pleaded his cause with Inuyasha, but Sesshoumaru was youkai and proud. He was not too proud any longer to speak privately with his brother however, and although he didn't relish the prospect he knew it would have to be soon; he wouldn't be able to concentrate on his work until he'd made peace.
It irked Sesshoumaru that all this mollycoddling would be necessary and his uneasy conscience was making him more irritable. Then in trying to assuage his own guilt he remembered what it was he'd heard that made him so angry in the first place, and he called Rin outside to explain herself. They walked some way from the little house so as not to disturb Inuyasha's much needed rest and Rin told Sesshoumaru what they had been doing.
"Inuyasha was walking me back to the forest edge where Miroku would take me back to the village so that nobody would see your brother as a human; he still despises his transformation and guards it closely."
"Do not take this Sesshoumaru for a fool girl; I had deduced that for myself, it is not what I meant."
"I don't know what you want me to say Sire; what is there to explain?" Her tone was respectful but very cool and unlike her normal freer way of speech that he welcomed from her. Her anger was palpable, but so too was her sadness and confusion.
"Your words of endearment to my brother; does his mate know that you speak thus together?"
"Endearment, I do not remember such words." Rin was not lying and Sesshoumaru was getting frustrated, he knew he had heard her.
"You spoke of his worthiness and love."
"Yes, he is; Inuyasha thought he had upset Kagome and he is always conscious of all she gave up to be with him. We were just discussing that and he said he didn't know why she had come back to him sometimes. I told him it was because she had always loved him, which he found hard to believe and I asked him why he thought it so impossible, because he was so very easy to love."
"You love him too?"
"Of course; he is very dear to me as well as everyone else, we are good friends and we have shared many hours just talking before Kagome came back." Rin suddenly blushed in angry fury and Sesshoumaru felt her aura flare, then she was standing in front of him instead of more meekly behind and to the side. He could have swatted her away as easily as if she were a gnat, but he recognised she was entitled to her anger and he had already caused enough harm by lashing out that night.
"You thought he and I were cheating on Kagome…how dare you; Inuyasha is the most loyal person I know…no, you didn't know it was your brother did you, or you wouldn't have called for him? But to ask me this once you did know…how little you think of me." Rin actually sparkled with Miko energy in her angry distress, much as Kagome used to do, and she turned her back for the first time ever on her Lord and Master and walked away.
Could this situation get any worse, Sesshoumaru thought; where was his calm, his self control, his concise and non flustered brain? Never before when dealing with Rin and Inuyasha had he ever been in such turmoil and because of it he had now hurt deeply the two people he cared about the most. Of course they had become friends, each seeing in the other similarities to the person they held the dearest. After all Sesshoumaru had manoeuvred it that way before Kagome returned; hoping to make the transition to village life easier for Rin and to hold his brother close by.
Sesshoumaru could scent Rin's tears but she walked straight and firm, her steps leading her back to the little house and he could see all that mattered to him crashing round his feet. He would have his lands and titles, his possessions; but he would be alone without his family and without Rin, if his pride stopped him from at least trying to put things right. He realised that he would never be as powerful as his father if he carried on as he had been doing; the former Inu no Taishou was powerful in more than just strength.
He had also had the power of compassion and love that caused such strength of heart it was able to help him reach the immeasurable heights that Sesshoumaru could still only dream of; given that in his father's fond eyes he would still only be considered a proud and arrogant pup. But Sesshoumaru had felt that power, when he had rescued Rin it had surged and when he lost her seeking the Meidou, it had drained him.
"Rin, do not leave; I regret having caused you pain." Sesshoumaru didn't take his eyes off the girl as she stopped and turned; her face was very pale and her eyes tearful, he had never been the cause of such grief in her before and his heart berated him for doing so now. She let him approach without moving away and he raised his hand to wipe her cheek, very much aware that Rin didn't respond to the slight caress, but just stared at him.
"Walk with me?" He asked and she tacitly agreed by following him into the forest where they could speak privately. "You have every right to be angry Rin; This Sesshoumaru is not thinking clearly this night."
"Did you mean all that about Inuyasha?"
"I did not fully understand all the meanings humans use for the word love to encompass."
"I didn't mean that…I meant about keeping him alive only to guard me."
"No, This Sesshoumaru was suddenly very angry, you seemed alone in the forest with some village boy; for some reason it made This Sesshoumaru loose control, and I forgot this was the moonless night; I do not understand, these are things that do not happen to me."
"Why were you here anyway, you were not expected?"
"This Sesshoumaru wished to take a walk away from my business; I thought you might like to accompany me, I hoped you would find it pleasant."
"I would My Lord at any other time; but I fear I must decline from doing so in future, I am a single woman and you too are unmated. I can no longer be alone with you; this is one of the reasons you left me here in the beginning."
"You are perfectly safe with me; this is all because of the man you imagine you are in love with Rin."
"I told you, he is blameless and does not know I exist as a woman; besides even if he did, nothing would come of it."
"Then he is a fool." He spat out, surprised at his own vehemence and he didn't understand the look Rin gave him either. She was saddened again but her voice was softer than it had been.
"Sometimes My Lord, I believe he is."
"What has caused your feelings for this worthless one; what has he done to engender your devotion to him? Has he tried to arouse your affections by using flirtatious devices?"
"No Lord Sesshoumaru, he genuinely has no idea and although he does things others may interpret as courtship, I know it is not so; therefore he does me no wrong in his ignorance of custom."
"He takes you away from This Sesshoumaru nonetheless My Rin; he is in your thoughts as if he were your lover."
"No one will ever take me away from you My Lord; my heart and life are yours and always have been. But at the moment I am still angry with you for what you did and said to Inuyasha." Rin was aghast at her own audacity in the way she had been speaking to Sesshoumaru, but she tried to steer him away now from his earlier train of thought in case she gave too much away. She would be mortified should he find out, but she could not lie to him and in any case, unless he made up with Inuyasha she would probably not see so much of him anyway.
Sesshoumaru knew too that he would have to speak with his brother and the sooner the better. He had known the instant that Inuyasha awoke; even as a human, the dormant youkai blood called to his brother. He followed Rin back to the little house and while she put the kettle on the embers and fed the fire to make some tea, Sesshoumaru asked if he could relieve his sister-in-law allowing him to speak with Inuyasha.
Kagome wasn't sure, but neither could she deny the Daiyoukai his request; Inuyasha was not in danger and she would need some sleep that night. So after accepting a dish of tea from Rin, the two girls went to sleep near the fire, leaving the brothers alone. Sesshoumaru knelt beside his brother and studied the face of the human and thought how young the boy looked; he was like his father in facial feature and structure in all his forms, even though the colouring now was his mother's.
Sesshoumaru picked up the cup of painkilling herbs and stirred them before adding hot water, then he stirred them again; it gave him something to look at besides Inuyasha. Soon however he put the mixture down to cool and then lifted Inuyasha's head to support him on his arm.
"I know you are awake Inuyasha; your medicine is ready. I sincerely regret having caused you such harm." He held the draught to his brother's mouth and let Inuyasha sip the cooling drink in his own time. The human didn't try to deny he was awake, he knew his brother's senses were too good for that subterfuge to work, but he also needed the medicine.
"Feh, you thought me some villager who had evil designs on Rin; if I had been, we'd all have been run from the village by now with flaming torches. Damnit Sesshoumaru, you can't just go round attacking people like that, not if you want to keep the girl safe. Even if you don't care about what happens to me, my pups and Kagome don't deserve this shit." Inuyasha was exhausted now and he wanted to go back to sleep, but Sesshoumaru wasn't finished.
"It will not happen again, I promise; I didn't mean what I said either Inuyasha, it came out from my anger…"
"No, no it didn't; it's what you always say and what you truly think of me, I'm used to that by now, or did you think I had fallen for all the brotherly concern from you over these last years. I always knew the only purpose for me in your life was to befriend Rin and look after her; I'm not stupid you know, whatever anyone may think.
"Inuyasha you are wrong…"
"Don't give me all that bull; nothing's changed, but don't worry Rin is still safe…it just means you don't have to pretend anymore. Look, it don't matter to me, I don't care enough about you and you sure as hell don't care about me; it's always been the same and it ain't going to change now."
"You are calling me a liar?"
"Nah, your just a tac…tac…tactician; yeah, that's the word." And with that Inuyasha turned his head away yawning and fell back asleep. Or at least he tried, but the medicine only slightly dulled the pain and took a little while to work in any case. Unfortunately it left him time to think and he thought how nice it had been having a brotherly relationship with Sesshoumaru while it lasted. As Inuyasha began to drift off into the drug induced sleep, he could almost imagine that his brother was stroking his hair and it made him smile with wishful thinking.
As for Sesshoumaru, his apology had been thrown back in his face and he was unable to work out how to get Inuyasha to accept it. As far as the boy was concerned, his own version of the truth was obvious and seen from Inuyasha's eyes, Sesshoumaru could see how the hanyou believed it all too easily. The Daiyoukai kept on stroking his brother's hair hoping that it was soothing him and that somewhere inside, Inuyasha would know that he was offering genuine comfort.
TBC