Later 15 Forced Tranquility and Home Truths
Sesshoumaru knew that his bare feet made no sound as he walked his corridors after his bath and yet he could hear the echo of every footfall in his mind as loudly as if he were Ah-Un as he tramped along in the forest. Since when did the normally welcomed tranquillity become a burden of heavy, oppressive silence? Sesshoumaru's suddenly vociferous youkai answered him; since he had learned to love and be loved by Inuyasha and his noisy little family, since he'd become 'pack' with them and since he'd been so careless with his temper.
This was a revelation to the Daiyoukai but he knew it to be true; he was even to his horror, fond of the particular villagers and their children who he claimed as under his protection, or at the very least he could tolerate them around him. When had he gone from enjoying his own company for years at a time, to this feeling of crushing loneliness that was almost suffocating him after only a couple of weeks? His youkai once again delighted in telling him the answer to that too; he was rarely alone for long, had he forgotten the annoying but ever faithful worshipping Jaken?
The small imp along with Ah-Un made sure that Sesshoumaru was never alone, they were pack too and he did them both a disservice if he forgot their devout loyalty to him. Truly he could find solitude whenever he wished, but they were always loyal and stayed where he could find them again when he returned. Even though he was strong enough to protect them both, that was not why they remained with him; Jaken had left the leadership of his own people to follow his beautiful Lord Sesshoumaru and the dragon had been given to the pup as a hatchling, and they had been inseparable ever since.
For the first time since his father died, Sesshoumaru felt like howling in true dog fashion; he blamed that on his youkai too, and vowed never to drink that much sake again when he was being retrospective. It was making him far more honest with himself and he couldn't hide behind the carefully structured excuses that he used to justify any of his dubious actions. While he had been thinking, he had unwittingly ventured to the hardly remembered rooms of the suite; a place and time Sesshoumaru wished he could forget.
In this corner of the Palace, the wind often moaned with a low howling dirge and as it did so now, it reminded Sesshoumaru of the time he had brought his brother back with him after the death of the pup's mother. He had deposited the child in the little room that was not much bigger than a cupboard and that adjoined the equally small bedroom Izayoi had been afforded after his father's death.
In fact they had been store rooms which had been swiftly converted for the purpose of housing the hanyou and his mother, Sesshoumaru had refused to accord the pair any honour by a proper suite in the Royal Apartments. Izayoi had not complained for herself, she never did, but she would ask for Inuyasha to have favour and had gently chided Sesshoumaru for the cavalier treatment of the Dog General's tiny son. The older son though was unmoved and only made sure that the pair who had been thrust upon him, had enough by way of food and shelter.
Izayoi had never felt safe in the Western Palace for either her own well being or Inuyasha's and had eventually left for the supposed safety of her own people. Sesshoumaru had merely scorned her cowardice and ostensibly washed his hands of them both; although he did always keep an eye on them from a distance. Now as he walked in the tiny rooms with the vestiges of their occupation still haunting them, it was Sesshoumaru who felt shame at the way he had treated his brother and his mother.
The wind lowed woefully again, reminding him of Inuyasha's instinctive mourning howl which had been the first sign of the pup's grief that Sesshoumaru had seen. He could almost see his brother again kneeling on the futon, his small face pinched and tearstained as he raised his head and literally howled. For once Sesshoumaru had respected his brother and left him to mourn in private but unfortunately the howls upset others.
To hear a pup howl brought out all the parental instincts in the youkai who lived and worked in the Palace and it was especially upsetting to the mothers among them who wanted to comfort the pup. Because of their distress and Sesshoumaru's inexperience in failing to offer comfort, one of the guards went to Inuyasha and backhanded him into a wall, quietening the pup by knocking him out.
Sesshoumaru had been furious and let his anger be known; did the guard not recognise a pup who was mourning, let alone said pup was the brother of the Lord? The guard had been demoted and counted himself lucky he was not killed, while Inuyasha was held tenderly for once, in Sesshoumaru's arms. But Inuyasha was only given a short time to grieve before Sesshoumaru spoke to him severely; leading the pup to understand that the elder brother would not tolerate any further upset in his household because of the younger.
He had followed up the admonition with a disciplinary shake before dropping the child back on the little futon and leaving him again. Although Sesshoumaru was aware that the pup had merely exchanged the howling of his youkai to the crying of his human heart; he was hiccupping loudly somewhere between the two and smothering the sound in the pillows. The Taiyoukai didn't care that Inuyasha could still scent his mother in the room; the pup would have to get over her quickly if he didn't want to invite trouble.
Trouble seemed to look for Inuyasha in those days, everyone soon learned that Sesshoumaru had little patience with the boy and they knew how to get the pup into his brother's bad books. Eventually Inuyasha wouldn't take any more and had left the Palace under a black cloud and the brothers' time of estrangement had begun. Once Inuyasha had left, the sly advisors who hated the boy had wasted no time in convincing Sesshoumaru that his anger over his father's death was completely justified, and encouraged the young Taiyoukai that it was his duty to eradicate the boy.
However even in his darkest moments Sesshoumaru had never been able to carry out that threat; he claimed the hanyou's life, he made the pup suffer mentally and physically, but he'd had many opportunities to kill Inuyasha and had always stayed his hand. Truthfully speaking, the thought that Inuyasha might have been killed at any given time, brought back the empty, hollow and awful feeling he had had during the three days of the boy's disappearance in the Meidou.
Sesshoumaru took one last look around the pitiful rooms and left to go to his own bed, although sleep eluded him until the early dawn; his mind would not let go of all the times he and Inuyasha had fought or had contact. He remembered clearly the awful things he had done or said to his brother and wondered how it was that Inuyasha had still been able to have affection for him. Now it seemed that Sesshoumaru had killed it, and that Inuyasha had been expecting that Sesshoumaru would one day show his true colours.
Then he remembered that flash of heartbroken violet eyes resulting from his hurtful words and knew that despite the words to the contrary, Inuyasha had believed in the brotherly Sesshoumaru and had wanted him. That meant he had work to do but it wasn't a lost cause and he determined to have his brother back to normal again and get rid of the quiet subdued facsimile that was around him now. With that ray of hope for successfully sorting out the problem with Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru was able to fall asleep at last.
He awoke much refreshed at about ten o'clock, but for once didn't worry about staying in his room when there was work to be done. He had good trustworthy secretaries who would deal with things in his absence. However it wasn't long before a familiar scent reached his nose and he bathed and got dressed swiftly and opened the door to his private sitting room to find his mother sitting in his favourite place, reading.
Swiftly regaining his normal poise, Sesshoumaru went to her and lifted her hand to kiss it formally; his mother hid a smirk at her very proper son and waited for him to speak.
"Mother, to what do I owe the honour of your visit here, normally I come to you?"
"I had been out visiting; you have some interesting connections Sesshoumaru."
"Connections, Mother? Where exactly have you been visiting?"
"I have been to your little village; it's fascinating what these little settlements are like."
"They are under my protection; you shouldn't have gone there."
"You are not seriously telling your mother where she can or cannot travel my son?"
"What did you do Mother?"
"Enough questions for now Sesshoumaru; you have not yet broken your fast."
"Mother, do not treat me like a child; tell me what you were doing in the village."
"Now is not the time and I would advise you to sheathe your claws my pup; you inherited your Dokkasou from me and mine is the stronger." The Lady heard her pup's slight sniff of disbelief at her words and faster than even he could see, she had wrapped his hands in her whip of youki, which he noted was thicker than his own and he was unable to free himself before she had her own claws at his throat.
"You are so disrespectful my pup; I think you lack discipline. Did you think your powerful sire had mated a weak female? Do not be ridiculous, we complimented each other precisely and I am older and wiser than you, my youki is much stronger than yours and will be at least until you mature. So my young son, come and eat and tell me about the trouble you have caused in your precious village."
With that her deadly claws released their grip at his throat and caressed the side of his carefully neutral and expressionless face. His mother smiled at him and reached up to kiss the moon on his forehead; she knew her son very well and could tell all his moods, how could she not when he had learned the lessons at her knee so well? Even when she had seen him for the first time in a long while and he was quietly distressed at the death of the human child, she had known; despite her gently sarcastic but polite query of the toad Jaken.
The Lady's show of speed and strength had taken Sesshoumaru by surprise; it was true he had never thought his mother was weak, that would have been a very foolish thing to do, but he had miscalculated. Of course his father would not have chosen a weak mate to be the mother of his heir, and he would have made sure that whoever he mated would be able to protect any pups they had between them.
A Lord of the former Inu no Taishou's calibre had many enemies and his offspring would have been targets early on, they would need a formidable champion in their mother and she was more than able to protect her child. Sesshoumaru remembered the feeling of safety that his mother's aura gave him, recalling that he never felt vulnerable when he was with her wherever they were or whoever was around.
She tucked her arm into his and drawing Sesshoumaru close as he escorted her to the dining hall and gave him a genuine smile, letting him see her love for him shine in her eyes, and he responded with a small smile of his own. Sesshoumaru knew that he would get nothing further from his capricious mother until she was ready and he could tell that Inuyasha was safe, as his brother's youki was calm; therefore he could afford to indulge her Ladyship without feeling he should go and check for himself.
They enjoyed a not so light lunch as both Sesshoumaru and his mother hadn't eaten so far that day and she was delighted to be made welcome by many of the servants that she remembered from when she was Lady of the West. Afterwards the lady insisted on a walk around the grounds and Sesshoumaru steeled himself for her questioning, she always managed to make him feel like a whelp again instead of the master of his lands.
"I thought to tell you I have adopted those delightful pups of Inuyasha's as my grandchildren. They will not take precedence over any of your pups of course, but it is the least I can do for the Little Hanyou." The Lady dropped her head slightly to hide the smile she had, at once again surprising her son. She knew that he had been expecting other words but this was as good an opening as any.
"You have spoken with Inuyasha and he knows who you are? I thought you despised him and his mother."
"Whatever gave you that idea? I have never cared one way or another about your father's bastard pup and of course he knew who I was, he is not unintelligent and my markings give me away."
"I thought…"
"You thought I would be shamed by him, you felt he dishonoured your father's blood and your parents' mating didn't you? That is why you always claimed and threatened his life." There was no answer forthcoming and she continued. "You have always done things for your own selfish reasons my son; I was never put aside by the human female or her pup, and had I wanted, I could easily have terminated them at any time before or after Inuyasha was born.
"Your position of eldest and the heir is unassailable; the hanyou was never in line for your crown but your father fancied he might be the friend and brother that you lacked. I thought at the time that the notion was far fetched, but your father had a far greater capacity for love than I ever did. He was ever optimistic."
"Why didn't you try and reason with me, stop me from my persecution of Inuyasha…I thought if he were gone…"
"I had no feelings for the pup either way, as I said; it mattered not to me if you killed him, but his death at any time would not have stopped the fact that he had existed."
"So why do you show your interest now in his offspring?"
"Because now he has become dear to you and that is important to me; you were always a lonely boy Sesshoumaru, you are far too like me for your own good. Unlike you however, I did grow up with siblings and we are still on good terms. I merely wished to see how your father's far sightedness reached and was progressing; I am awed by his wisdom, he believed you would one day accept and grow attached to the hanyou."
"As you have been to the village you must also know that Inuyasha is far from fond of me at the moment."
"Of course, I spent a long time speaking with those you consider your pack and their friends; they were understandably wary at first but were soon hospitable. I must say you have done a fine job in subduing the natural ebullience of your brother; his mate was most fervent in protecting him from having to speak to me."
"That sounds like the Miko; she was raised differently to most girls and speaks her mind freely to all."
"I found her refreshing and honest; your brother too is clear to read and obviously devoted to his family, he reminded me strongly of your father."
"I expect that he told you all of my transgression toward him and all I deserve as retribution in no uncertain terms."
"Then you would suppose incorrectly Sesshoumaru; Inuyasha made no complaint against you personally and neither did his mate, at least not at first."
"But you know what happened?"
"I did not visit the village to see the hanyou, but to see how your little human was developing; it is just as well you didn't eat her, it would have been such a waste, and she is very lovely now as a young woman." Once again, the Lady smiled at her son's expense; she had always known that Sesshoumaru did not eat human flesh but he was so easy to tease. They may have been alike but the Lady had had many years to develop the sense of humour that still for the most part, eluded her son.
"You spoke to Rin?"
"I did, and to the old human who looks after her. She is a fair minded woman and even managed to seem older than myself. It was a novel experience to be treated like a girl again especially by someone who is in actuality many centuries younger. I thought to tell mother, she will find it amusing." If his mother seemed to ramble, Sesshoumaru knew better; her brain was razor sharp and dangerous, perhaps she could help him to mend the fence between him and his family.
"So Sesshoumaru, what made you lose your head that evening, you have never taken full advantage or injured your brother on his vulnerable night before, however provoked. I can of course guess what happened, you are like me, controlled for most of the time but we can both feel such terrible anger it can no longer be contained. Is that what happened…you thought Inuyasha was after your mate?"
"My mate…I have no mate mother."
"Mate to be then, if you insist on being pedantic; the young woman, Rin."
"Rin is my ward mother, as you well know."
"Yes she was, but I saw straight away how the land would lie as the child grew. Do you think I would have granted her life to you, had your father not already done so? I said at the time you were like him in strange ways."
"I don't understand…"
"Then sit and listen, your mother will explain a few things to you…"
TBC