Thank you guys so much for taking the time to read and review! I really appreciate it! As a first time writer, I didn't realize how much I would enjoy knowing that people are reading, and actually liking, my story would be. I know these first few chapters have been very tragic, but I needed a good sad place to start, and Jake's death is by far the saddest that I know of.

As always, I own nothing! If I did, well then let's just say that Steve Burton would be mine! LOL! His wife is a lucky, lucky woman – that's all I've got to say!

Chapter Three

She was dying. She wasn't sure how she knew that. Oh God, what would Cameron do? Who would take care of him? She couldn't bear to leave him, she loved him, and the man she wanted to be his father, so much. It didn't matter that they had walked away from each other. It didn't matter that she and the boys were supposed to be safe. All she could think about was how foolish, how stupid, they were, thinking that not being together would keep her and the boys safe from harm. Look at her now, Jake was dead, not from any danger in Jason's life, but from an accident, a tragic accident. Now, she was dying too, and they were alone. Oh how she wished she could fix things. But what would she fix? How far would she have to go back to fix things? Back to when he asked her to leave Port Charles and see the world with him? No, then she wouldn't have her boys, and she loved them too much to wish them away! Where did it all go wrong, when did her life fall completely apart? When she lied…when she lied for all of those months about the father of her youngest son. She lied to her then husband, she lied to the father of her baby, and she lied to herself. That one lie started the chain of events that had her life snowballing to hell now.

Elizabeth thought about her past with Lucky. There were a lot of regrets on both sides. She knew they each had a piece of the blame for their marriage breaking up. As much as she loved Lucky, would always love the boy from her past, she knew that they were better apart than they were together. They weren't the same kids that pledged themselves to each other, or danced outside the Bacchanalia. They had grown up, and they had fallen out of love, no matter how hard they tried to convince themselves that they didn't. One thing that she could never regret, though, was her first night making love with Jason.

Jason…..the man that stole her heart when she wasn't looking. And she never asked for it back. She loved him with everything in her being, was in love with him still. They always said they had lousy timing, and they were so right. When she pushed, he pulled away. When he pushed, she pulled away. She knew now that he still loved her, and she knew why he walked away. If only she'd been stronger, if only she hadn't listened to Lucky and Sam. If only…dammit, she needed to stop thinking about the "if onlys", they were driving her crazy. Why, why did love have to be so complicated? 'Oh yeah, because the rewards are that much sweeter", she thought to herself.

Reflectively, she wondered how different things would have been if only she'd told Jason the truth about Jake from the beginning, or if she had told him after he'd been shot and asked her about what she'd said to him when she found him bleeding in the chapel. No, it wouldn't have been easy for Sam and Lucky to hear the truth, but maybe it would have been better. Would he still have tried to reconnect with Sam? Would he have pushed harder for her to marry him, before he got reinvested in Sam? Would she have been OK if he just wanted to co-parent with her and continue his relationship with Sam? Shit, she knows the questions are infinite. No one knows how they will react to any situation until they are faced with it. She knows she never gave Jason a chance because she was too worried about being an obligation, or worse, an annoyance to him. No, mentally shaking her head, never an annoyance. Jason cared for her too much for that, she knew. What if he had loved her then? Did he? She still didn't know. Could she have truly been a mob wife? Could she really handle everything that came along with his work? Could she really trust that her children would be safe from harm? Why did she make the mistake of asking Jason to give up his son to Lucky? Why did she remarry Lucky?

That year, when she finally accepted Jason's proposal, his third, she had said 'yes'. Yes – to the danger, the secrets, the guards, the bulletproof glass, everything that went along with becoming a target in his world. But more than that, yes – to loving him and being loved by him - openly, freely and without reservation. Then Michael had been shot. And, once again, it was too dangerous for them to be together. It was too dangerous for Jason to claim his son. God, she hated the word danger! Life was about risk, and she had been willing to take it. She remembers telling him that "Love shouldn't be safe". She never could understand why he didn't think he could keep them as safe as possible. His life and the things that had happened had made him wary of trusting himself. Maybe he was worried to that his friends never wanted him to have a life that made him happy.

He was probably right. God knows, Carly can't stand playing second fiddle to any other woman in Jason's life. She'd rant, screech, scream and scheme to get any woman, well only her actually, out of Jason's life. And she always played the Michael card. 'You promised Michael', blah, blah, blah. And Sonny! She's never met a man more insecure and self-centered than that "mob boss". You'd think someone in his position would have a little more assurance about himself. Of course, knowing that your enforcer is the only reason that you're still a mob boss might be some small excuse as to why Sonny was the way he was.

Just then, Epiphany Johnson, head nurse at General Hospital, walks in to take Elizabeth's vitals. Looking at the monitors, she quickly jots down her favorite nurse's stats. She's not happy with what she sees on the monitors and moves to check on Elizabeth. Elizabeth can feel Jason holding her hand, begging her to hang on, begging her not to leave him. Did he really say that? Wasn't he with Sam again? God, she's so confused. Drifting back down into the blackness, she can't think of anything anymore…..she's just so tired.