Disclaimer: The show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

The Last Resort

Chapter 4 – Starts and stops, ups and downs.

Tori's POV

She's been silent and motionless for almost 17 minutes now. She's not catatonic, as I see the pained expression on her face. She's there but just isn't responding. I'd give anything to know what's going on insider her head. We all know she was driving the car and was speeding in the rain, but I suspect we're missing something. She hadn't been drinking, so it wasn't that.

Perhaps it's selfish of me, but I took the time to just admire how beautiful she looks. Even in this condition, my heart skips a beat. I love her longer hair, down to the middle of her back. I want to touch it so badly.

"I'm mourning the love of my life and all you want to do is cop a feel. You have all the sensitivity of a dump truck, Vega."

"I'm going home today." Jade finally said, shattering the silence.

"That's good." I said without thinking. As soon as I thought of how stupid that was to say, I cringed. She's going home to the apartment she shares with Krista. All of Krista's stuff is there, but no Krista.

Jade seemed to ignore my remark and just kept on speaking, still looking out the window. "But Krista won't. I miss her most at night when I wake. I woke up in the middle of the night and for a split second I thought if I reached over, she would be there next to me." Jade lowered her head and again a tear fell from her eye. "But she'll never be there again."

I took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "Some say it's good after an event like this to find a new place to live. One with not so many old ghosts wandering around. Find a new place and fill it with new memories."

"You want me to forget Krista so you can make a pathetic attempt to try and win me back. Fuck you Tori."

As Jade brought her head back up I could see, just from the look in her eyes that she was at least considering it.

"Your old house is for sale." I'm not sure why I mentioned that.

Jade raised an eyebrow and looked at me. "You drove by?"

I nodded. "I took a little tour of a few spots I hadn't been to in a while. That basement window lock is still broken. Don't get me wrong, the house is empty."

For a millisecond I could see a smirk on Jade's face before it vanished.

"You were in my old room!" Jade said with an expression that I couldn't quite decipher.

"A criminal as well as a cheating, lying bitch."

"It has green walls now. I'm sorry Jade. I was just remembering." Thinking I was veering into territory I shouldn't, I then said. "I had lunch at Nozu. It's exactly the same."

"I haven't been there in a while. Krista hated the food there. Did you go anywhere else?"

I nodded. "I drove by Hollywood arts and saw our old table."

"What does that make you think of?" Jade queried.

I hesitated for a moment before answering. "You and me holding hands under the table. Before anyone knew about us. It's silly but it was the greatest feeling in the world."

"My greatest feeling was dumping your cheating ass."

I felt strange talking about our past, when her present is lying dead in a grave. Jade was silent, but I could see a brief twinkle in her eye. But like the smirk from before, it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

Maybe it was the brief twinkle or smirk, but I got a bit overconfident or maybe I was just stupid. I then put my hand on her left hand in front of me. The right arm was in the cast. I did it primarily to comfort her but a tiny piece of me just wanted to touch her.

Instantly Jade pulled her hand back as she scowled at me. I should have remembered I lost the right to touch her a long time ago. In any case it was just not a good idea.

"I'm..I'm..sorry." I said quickly.

"Don't you ever touch me again." Imaginary Jade hissed in anger.

After a moment, Jade turned to the window away from me.

"Please leave." She said quietly

I'd stepped on a landmine and I should have known to be extra careful. As to not make things worse I quickly got up to leave.

"I'll be here to Saturday morning." I said with a heavy heart as I left.

I screwed up. Jade doesn't like to be touched under normal circumstances. I should have known better than to ever touch her, without getting some indication she wanted to be touched. God, am I stupid. I can't let my feelings cloud things. She needs a friend and someone to provide support, not a lovesick ex-girlfriend."

As I walked out of the hospital I could hear imaginary Jade's bitter voice. "You should never have never come Vega. Everything you touch turns to shit."

Making things worse, I saw Allison West come out of the elevator as I approached.

"Hello Tori." She said coldly.

"Hello Mrs. Vega. Are you taking Jade home?"

"Yes I am. The doctor says her broken arm is all that is wrong with her physically. She needs therapy but I think she'll be better off at home."

I felt the need to say it. "Someone should stay with her for a few days. I wouldn't leave her alone in that apartment."

Allison's patience seemed to snap. "I know what is best for my daughter! I don't need the likes of you to tell me." She said looking like she wanted to scream.

I huffed and took a step closer. "Even before Jade broke up with me, you didn't like me. I never did anything to you. Am I too low class for you or" I threw up my hands at this point, as I realized that arguing with Jade's mom was pointless. For whatever reason, she hated me and there wasn't squat I could do about it. The thing was, it really didn't matter.

"You know what? You're not worth the effort. I'm here for Jade and you don't like it, than fuck off."

I could have sworn, I heard imaginary Jade laughing hysterically at that very moment.

Allison gasped in horror at my outburst, but before she could react I jumped into an elevator that was closing.

No One's POV

Back in Jade's room, right after Tori left, Jade touched the part of her hand where Tori rested it.

"Even after all these years, her touch can give me butterflies" Jade said to herself. It was thrilling but at the same time very scary. That is why she so quickly dismissed Tori. It made her feel bad but she needed to be away from her for a bit.

A few moments later, Jade turned as he mom came into the room. Jade could tell that she didn't look happy.

"Do you know what that Tori said to me just now?" Allison said, as she pointed to the door.

Jade could only imagine what Tori said. Jade knew perfectly well that her mom hated Tori. Jade's best guess is that she wasn't high enough class for her, combined with the fact that she was Hispanic.

"What?"

"She said that she was there for you and if I didn't like it I could fuck off! I can't believe the nerve of that woman. She was never any good for you. I never liked her from the start, the best decision you ever made was to dump her."

Jade's face instantly turned red as her nostrils flared with anger. "Mom, leave Tori alone. She gave me more love and support in the first month we were dating than you showed me in my entire life up to that. Our recent past aside, she is helping me. So SHUT UP! "

Tori's POV

I was a bit upset by how things went down with Jade and even more upset about telling Jade's mom to fuck off. I'm not that type of person to say such things. But I've grinned and acted nice, in spite of her constant condescending attitude, all the years Jade and I were together. I wasn't sure if Jade would want me to come back at all.

So I went home and soaked in our pool for a while and then did some sunbathing. My dad was at work and my mom was out with friends so I had the place to myself. After getting bored with that I decided lay down for a bit.

The ringing of my phone woke me up about 7:00 in the evening.

"Hello" I mumbled into the phone.

"Hey Tori, it's Beck."

I hadn't spoken to Beck since I arrived, so hearing his voice was kind of a surprise. "Hey Beck what's up?"

"It's Jade."

I sighed. "Is she ok?'

"Well Cat and I are here with her at her apartment. She's barely said a word since she came home. Her mother took her home but left as soon as we arrived. Cat insisted on being with her the first night. But anyway, Jade's been shut up in her bedroom since she got home and won't come out. The only thing she's said to us is, Get Vega. Can you come over."

Once again for reasons I don't quite understand, Jade wants me. "Text me the address and I'll be there in a jiffy."

Trying not to give the situation much thought I quickly drove to Jade's and Krista's apartment. It was a rather nice building in a decent section of town. I knew Jade had done some acting and made several TV appearances so she had some decent money. I could feel myself getting a bit nervous as I knocked on the door.

Cat opened the door and quickly ushered me inside, where I saw Beck standing a few feet inside.

"Sorry to run right away but I need to pick up my girlfriend from work. I'll stop by tomorrow and check up on Jade." He said to Cat.

"You have to leave?" I said.

Beck ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, My girlfriends car is in the shop so I have to pick her up. I'm sorry we haven't had much chance to talk. At least I could do is thank you for at least getting Jade out of her catatonia."

"She's hurting badly. There is only so much I can do. I feel so sorry for her."

Beck nodded. "Yeah, Jade really loved her. You figure with all those safety features of the new cars, this wouldn't have happened."

"New?"

Cat chimed in. "Jade just bought that car with the money she got for a decent sized movie part. It was one of those nice SUV's. Black of course."

"I don't think she even had it more than two weeks." Beck said, as he moved to the door.

"I guess it hit the tree in just the right spot. "

Cat gave Beck a quick hug. "Thanks Beck for hanging with me and watching over Jade."

"Just let me know what happens, OK?" Beck said as she walked out and closed the door.

I then turned to Cat. "How is she?"

"Her mom called and said she was bringing her home so I volunteered to watch over her tonight. She seemed more than Ok with it. In fact she left as soon as I arrived. She couldn't get out of her fast enough. I think they might have been fighting. She's been in the bedroom since she got home, save for a trip to the bathroom. The only thing she's said was "I'm fine, leave me alone and Get Vega."

I nodded. "I'll go talk with her. But I need you stay with her, no matter what happens. Even if things go sour between her and I you need to stay. Even if she asks you to leave."

Cat looked confused. "You think things may go sour?"

I shrugged. "It's possible. I'm just thinking worst case scenario."

Cat smiled. "Think positive. Her bedroom is the 2nd door on the left down the hallway. I'll be in the living room watching television if you need anything."

I walked through the living room, which was neatly kept and nicely decorated. I could of course see a number of Jade's touches. A scissoring poster being one of them. Other objects I figured were Krista's. Before I left I paused by a picture on the wall.

It was Krista in a beautiful blue dress. She was a rather pretty girl. She had a rather athletic build with short curly brown hair and wore wire rimmed glasses. Her eyes were a hazel color. I can see why Jade fell for her.

Of course there were other pictures, several of them together. I avoided looking at those. Again that feeling of being an intruder started to creep back into my gut.

As I walked down the hallway, I passed the first door which appeared a bedroom converted into a music practice room. Snapping on the light, I could see posters of Beethoven and Brahms. There was a rack with lots of classical music CD's. Next to that was a stereo system with a recorder. But the one thing that really caught my attention was a chair and empty music stand sitting in the middle of the room. Beyond it, in the corner was a cello case. Being a musician myself, the scene gave me a very empty, sad feeling.

In my mind, I could see Krista practicing here for hours on end. Perhaps Jade would pop her head in the doorway from time to time, to admire her girlfriends playing and be rewarded with a gracious smile. But no more. I turned off the light and shut the door.

Coming to Jade's door I knocked. I was even more nervous now, my heart threatening to pound its way out of my chest.

"Jade, It's Tori." I called out.

"Come in." I heard Jade call out weakly.

As I opened the door I could see a darkened bedroom, lit only by the faint orange glow of a street lamp outside. "Leave the light off. There's a chair just inside the doorway to your left. Shut the door and sit down."

I quickly complied and let my eyes adjust to the light. I was facing the side of a double bed. Jade was lying on her side facing me, but she was clutching a pillow tightly to her chest. I assumed it was Krista's.

"I can still smell her Tori." I heard Jade say with a sniffle.

Imaginary Jade had been quiet for a while but suddenly screeched. "Get the fuck out Vega "

There was nothing I could think of to say in response to that. So instead I said. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"You told my mother to fuck off." Jade said in a curious voice.

Suddenly my stomach felt like it was filled with rocks. "Look, I'm sorry, I just lost my temper. I can apologize if you want."

"Don't feel bad and don't apologize to that bitch, she had it coming. Good Job." I could almost detect a note of pride in her voice.

I suddenly felt terribly relived. I was sure Jade was going to be pissed at me for telling her mother to fuck off. I know Jade hates her mother but still.

"Yesterday when you were talking to me, I think you said something about Imaginary Jade. What's that?"

"The one and only, making Tori's live a living hell for being the cheating worthless whore she is."

The rocks suddenly reappeared in my stomach. "It's nothing really." I said quickly.

"You're lying." Jade snapped quickly. "I can tell by the squeak you make in your voice. Tell me." Jade said with a bit more force.

"Vega, you love to lie don't you?"

"It's hard to explain. But I imagine in certain situations what you would say. But essentially it's a manifestation of my guilt. Don't get me wrong, I don't do it all the time, or even most of the time. Just sometimes when I'm really stressed or feeling guilty. It's a bad habit I've picked up." I felt horribly embarrassed just by saying it. I had no idea how Jade would react.

Jade remined quiet for several minutes before replying. "What does she or I say?"

"She's fond of calling me a cheating bitch. Worthless whore is her 2nd favorite. But she insults me and reminds me how I broke your heart. She's cold, angry and vindictive. "

Jade spoke again, though I couldn't quite see the expression on her face, her voice sounded a bit hurt. "Why do you do this Tori? Torture yourself like that. Is that how you see me?"

"Because you fucking deserve it."

A quick sharp pain shot through my heart. "Because I cheated on you. I broke your heart. I ruined our relationship. The part of me that can't forgive myself has become Imaginary Jade. It's a self-punishment I pull out from time to time.

Jade sighed but said nothing.

Wanting to change the subject, I asked. "Where did you meet Krista?"

Jade was silent for a moment. "I was supposed to go to the Rocky Horror picture show with Cat but she bailed on me. So I went alone. Krista had been practicing all day and wanted to blow off some steam so she went out. She's a bigger Rocky Horror fan than I am. I got there early to get a good seat up front. I didn't mind waiting in line. Krista was in front of me. She complimented me on my scissoring t shirt I was wearing. She said she loved the movie. We started to talk, found out we were both solo and she asked me to sit with her. We had a great time at Rocky Horror. I thought she was very pretty and seemed fun and nice. I hadn't dated anyone since we broke up. I asked her to coffee afterwards and we sat there talking until they kicked us out. We talked about life, our relationships, our dreams. She didn't even mind my less than chipper demeanor. We just seemed to click. I asked her out for a date that night, she said yes right away. "I could hear the sadness in Jade's voice when she said it.

I'll admit it was a bit hard to hear how Jade met someone else, but somehow I think this would be good for her. "It's a nice story."

"Thank you." She said sadly.

The car thing bugged me and kept bugging me. Maybe the fact that the car was new came into it somehow. Jade is obviously terribly guilt ridden but is suspect she isn't telling me something. I should have kept talking to Jade about Krista instead I changed the subject once again. This was just bugging me too much and I couldn't

"Tell me Jade. Why did you take the long route home from the restaurant the night of the accident?"

Jade instantly sprung off the bed as it was on fire. Even in the dark I could see her face distort in anger.

"GET THE FUCK OUT. GET OUT OF MY ROOM, GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT. GET OUT OF MY FUCKNG LIFE" She instantly roared.

Instantly I flashbacked to the morning we broke up. I told her I had cheated, with the intention of explaining myself and apologizing. Instead she threw a frying pan full of hash browns at me and told me to get the fuck out. I tried to speak but she simply dumped me and kicked me out of the apartment. In a text later I was told to remove all my possessions from the apartment that afternoon while she would be out. Jade further said that anything left behind, would be destroyed. I moved out that afternoon a totally broken woman.

I instantly burst into tears and fled the room. Behind me I could hear the bedroom door slam. I had completely ruined all our progress.

"I knew it. You fucked up. You can't help me. You can only hurt me."

"What's wrong?" Cat said as I made it to the living room.

"Take care of Jade for me." I said with a painful sob as I ran out of the apartment. I was beside myself with grief. Still sobbing I drove back to my parents' home. All my instincts told me to just pack up and go home.

"Run home little Vega, like the worthless cheating failure you are."

"What's wrong Tori?" My mom said as I came into the house.

"I was talking to Jade. I mentioned the strange route she took home and she got mad and kicked me out. I thought we were making progress. I ruined everything."

She put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

I let out a painful sob. I felt so horribly broken and torn up. "No mom, she hates me. Just as much as before. I'm going to leave tomorrow. I can't stay here anymore."

Before she could say anything else, I ran up to my room. There I turned off my phone, packed my clothes and cried for the rest of the evening. All the while listening to Imaginary Jade's cruel taunts. Perhaps I was overreacting but I had a total flashback to that horrible day, where we broke up.

I had ruined everything. That's what I kept saying to myself as I cried myself to sleep.

I woke sometime the next morning after a night of a nightmare filled, restless sleep. My first thought was to go to the airport and change my ticket from Saturday to today. But I quickly noticed something was off.

Opening my eyes I quickly realized what it was.

Jade was sitting at the foot of my bed looking even sadder than before. Her eyes were puffy and she looked like he had barely gotten any sleep.

She began to speak, her voice hoarse as if she had be sobbing for hours. "Tori, I never gave you the chance to explain yourself the day we broke up. Why did you cheat on me?"

Ups and downs with the rather unpredictable Jade. More answers in the next chapter.