A/N: Again, my apologies for the screw up in posting 2 chapters in one…. So for that, you all get an extra chapter today!
Thank you all, so very much, for all of your encouragement and your wonderful reviews. I truly hope that you continue to enjoy reading this story, as much as I am enjoying writing it and sharing it with you. So, without further ado…..
Chapter Eleven
Elizabeth was so relieved that she had finally opened up and told Jason the truth about the baby. She felt that the heavy weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. But, she's also scared, too. Even though Jason had kissed her, quite thoroughly, with no sign of stopping until Carly interrupted, she's not sure what that means for them. He's still with Sam, he broke the law and is a fugitive for her. God, she hated that woman. More so now than she did even a few days ago, and she's not really sure why. She's heading back to her studio, so that she and Jason can talk about things, where they go from here…and how they are going to go. She's so nervous when she arrives that she just stands outside the door for several moments to calm her racing heart. Taking several deep breaths, she finally puts her key into the door and goes in.
Jason is lying on the couch asleep, but stirs when he hears the door open. Opening his eyes, he stares at her in wonder, "Hi, you made it back."
"Sorry, it took me a little longer to get Cam to sleep than I thought it would. Then, I lay down to rest for a few minutes. I really hate 'morning sickness' that doesn't necessarily come just in the morning," she babbles.
"If you weren't feeling well, you could have told me. You should have called me and told me, I would have understood."
"No, Jason, I'm fine. The nausea always passes pretty quickly, so I'm okay. I promise you that I won't push myself beyond my limits and I will listen to my body and rest when I need to, okay?"
Nodding his head, he invites her to sit down, "Come on, sit. Get off your feet, though."
Sitting at the far end of the ragged couch, she looks at him, "So I guess it's time that we really talk, huh?"
"I think we should."
"Are you sure you don't want to wait a few days, until it's really sunk in? I'm really okay with that, I told you earlier that I know you have a lot on your plate right now."
"No, I don't want to wait. Honestly, I've been thinking about this for a long time, even after I thought the baby was Lucky's."
"Really?" she asked, surprised.
"Yes, really," Jason responded dryly.
"Sorry, I guess I just wasn't expecting you to have kept thinking about it, that's all."
"I actually never stopped thinking about it, and I couldn't help wanting the baby to be mine. I didn't realize how much I wanted it until I thought I wasn't the baby's father."
Dropping her head in shame, tears glistening in her eyes, "Oh, Jason, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that." Looking back up at him, "I should have told you the truth from the beginning."
Taking a page from her book, "well, now is when it matters."
Smiling slightly, she takes a deep breath preparing for their conversation.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking. About everything….our baby, you, me, my relationship with Sam, even some of my so-called friends."
Arching her eyebrow, while she didn't really want to her about his relationship with her, she was puzzled by his last statement. "Okay, meaning what, Jason?"
Hunching his shoulders, he ran his hand down his face, trying to alleviate the last of the tension he felt in his body. He hated not being good with words. Ever since his accident, he's had a difficult time really expressing what is in his head. Most of the time, he feels like it comes out as jumbled garbage, which is why he doesn't usually say much. Now, now, he needs to be able to get those words out to Elizabeth without saying the wrong thing. He's not entirely sure that he can do it. Looking up at her, he sees that she's just waiting, waiting for him to talk, or waiting for him to blow it off.
Scanning through his jumbled thoughts, he lets out a quick breath, "Meaning, I've made some decisions about where to go from here. Bear with me, okay; you know I don't always express myself well." Looking back up at her, he sees her shake her head, "I already told you, I want to be involved, right? And I do. I want to go to the appointments, and do all of that father-to-be stuff with you."
"Okay, I'm good with that."
"I realized that I'm not…not in love with Sam. I think if I was, then we wouldn't be here right now. I don't think that someone in love wants to be with anyone other than the one they are in love with. Does that make sense?"
"Yes, I feel the same way about Lucky. I realized that I'm not in love with Lucky, either."
"I'm going to have to tell Sam. I think I owe it to her to tell her that she and I are done, and I'm going to tell her that this," glancing at Liz's belly, "is my baby."
"Jason, are you sure? I mean, that it's not just the shock of finding out."
"No, I questioned that, too. Like I said earlier today, I still cannot get over the fact that she slept with Ric. I know she was hurt and angry, with me for breaking it off with her, with Alexis for encouraging me to stay away from her. But, for all the hurt and anger, what she did, didn't hurt just me, it hurt her mother and her sisters. I just can't forgive the fact that she did it to purposefully hurt other people. Maybe if it was just to hurt herself, but it wasn't."
"Wow, you've really been thinking about this, haven't you?"
"Yeah, since both Sonny and Carly have been talking my ear off about forgiving her and giving her another chance."
"I know how that goes." Elizabeth is doing her level best to stay quiet; she wants him to say what he needs to say, without her getting all her drama involved.
"Sam wants me, so badly, to regret what happened between us, but I can't do it. It's not how I feel, even before we knew you were pregnant. I was never sorry about what we shared that night, it was too special to me to ever regret it. And now, even though I know it's gonna be hard for Sam to hear that you're, that you're having my child, I can't do anything to change it."
Looking up, rather sadly, Elizabeth asks the same question she didn't remember asking in the elevator during the last timeline, "Would you want to?"
"I know all the reasons that this is complicated and I'm sorry for anybody that's gonna be hurt. But, you and I made this baby together and I can't regret that miracle. I want our child. I want it more than anything."
Letting out the breath she had been holding, she looks at Jason with tears in her eyes, "So, what do we do now?"
Knowing this could be the end of everything he ever wanted, he takes a deep breath and prepares to lay his heart on the line, "The night that we made love, I told you that I appreciated you in my life. The one thing that I didn't say to you, and probably should have, is that I," he paused, not believing that he was really going to do this. "I love you, Elizabeth. I have for a long time, and every time we weren't together, I just…I just buried it, so I wouldn't have to hurt when you went back to Lucky, or I pushed you away because I thought it was too dangerous for me to be around you."
Tears streaming down her face, she sat there, stunned. She couldn't believe it, he had told her, after all this time that he loves her. Finally, deciding if he could do it then so could she, she mustered up her courage and uttered, "Jason….I love you, too."