Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

The Last Resort

Chapter 7 – Conversations with the dead

Tori's POV

As Jade and I came down the stairs my mom, who was in the kitchen, looked up.

"Are you going out?"

I nodded. "I'm taking Jade to see were Krista's buried."

Just saying that caused Jade to cringe slightly, which made me feel lousy. At this point my mom walked over, put her hand on Jade's arm and gave her a very sympathetic look.

"I didn't get to say it earlier but I am so sorry for your loss. If you ever need anything, day or night, please don't hesitate to call David or I. We both care very much for you."

Jade smiled briefly and nodded. "Thank you, I appreciate that."

Jade said nothing else as I led her to the car and begun to drive. Instead she just looked out the window with a sullen look on her face.

"Would you like me to stop at a florist so you can pick up some flowers for the grave; there is one on the way?" I asked.

Jade wordlessly nodded then went back to looking out the window. As I pulled up in front of the florist I couldn't help but notice how overcast and gloomy it was. On top of that a unusually cold November wind made its appearance. Jade got out of the car and returned a few minutes later with a dozen roses.

As before, Jade remained silent and morose the rest of the ride. As the cemetery came into view I could see a single tear run down her cheek.

I pointed to a small rise in the cemetery as we drove through the gate. "There." Still Jade said nothing.

We pulled up to the curb about 50 yards from the grave and got out of the car. The sky was still very overcast and it looked like it was going to rain but so far it hadn't. Jade just started to walk on ahead of me as she had gotten out of the car at first. She seemed to be walking like she was in a trance. I stayed closed behind her but left her be. It was a heartbreaking scene, with my heart tearing a bit more with every step Jade took to her lover's grave.

I stopped about 10 yards from the grave but continued to watch Jade as she approached it.

The tombstone itself was a slab of Pink granite, with a slightly raised center. On it one could see the words's Krista Marlene Tyler, Beloved daughter and the year of her birth and her death.

I watched with apprehension as Jade mechanically walked up to the grave. She began to shake as closed the final few feet and sank to her knees at the grave.

With a trembling hand she placed the bouquet of roses in front of the tombstone. Looking upon her face I could the last of her emotional defenses crumble.

Her lower lip quivered slightly and her lips parted as the first of her tears fell across her cheeks onto the grave.

"I…I….I…I'm so sorry baby. I n..never meant to hurt you. Please believe me Krista. I loved you." She said through the tears.

A moment later a tremendous wail, which shattered my own heart, emanated from her lips. It was a wordless cry which was so filled with aguish and pain, I tortured my soul, just hearing it. Jade simply fell forward onto the grave sobbing uncontrollably. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" she cried out.

I couldn't stand to by a bystander anymore; my heart would no longer allow it. I had to comfort the woman I love. My own tears flowing, I rushed over, knelt down and put my arms around Jade and pulled her up into a tight hug. She just kept crying into my shoulder, whimpering the words "I'm sorry Krista" over and over.

I held onto her for several minutes until she composed herself a bit. Then I let her go.

"Are you ok?" I asked softly.

She didn't answer instead she just got off the ground, moving to a sitting position next to the tombstone. Though she was no longer distraught, she was still crying.

"Do you want me to leave you alone for a bit?" I asked cautiously.

"I'd appreciate that, thank you. Just don't go very far please." Jade said weakly.

I patted her on the shoulder. "Ok, just give me a shout if you need something. I'll be by that bench over there." I said as I pointed to a bench sitting next to a rather large Mausoleum a little ways away.

As I walked off I could hear Jade begin to tearfully talk to Krista. I hurried off so I wouldn't hear any of it. It wasn't meant for my ears.

I watched as Jade cried and talked with Krista. Occasionally she would run her hand across the tombstone or lean up against it. I had no idea what Jade was saying. But I could see the grief filled expression on her face as she spoke.

After about a half an hour Jade motioned for me to come over. As I approached I could see not only did she still looked distraught and heartbroken, she looked completely drained.

"Help me up please" She said weakly through her tears, as she put up her hand for me. I took her hand and mine and helped her up off the grave as I felt a rain drop hit my face.

As she stood up, leaned over and kissed the gravestone. I don't think I've ever seen Jade more completely broken in my entire life. It was written all over her tearstained face and bloodshot eyes. It was purely heartbreaking.

She then looked at me and whimpered. "Take me home please"

I put my arm around her and walked her to the car. All the while we walked, she just blankly stared straight ahead. Jade barely seemed to notice the rain as it began to fall, but we made it to the car without getting too wet.

As I got in she looked at me and in a weary voice. "It's raining, please drive slow."

I nodded and began to drive the car back to Jade's house. Jade just slumped in her seat and leaned her head against the window. I made it a point to drive slow and very carefully all the way back to Jade's apartment.

"I was a gank to her sometimes, not just that last day." Jade said as we turned onto her street. That didn't surprise me at all.

"I'm sure she knew you loved her." I said reassuringly.

Jade just closed her eyes

A minute later we pulled up in front of her apartment building. Jade opened her eyes and slowly got out of the car. Then I walked her to the door.

"I know Cat said she'd stay with me tonight, but would you do it please." Jade said softly.

I was a bit a taken back by her request. I wanted to stay and comfort Jade but in some ways it felt very wrong. Like I was disrespecting the dead or taking advantage of the situation. Jade must have seen the turmoil in my face.

"Our couch, folds out into a bed." She said quickly, to assuage my misgivings.

"Ok then. I'll have my mom drop my stuff. Let's get inside you're cast it getting wet." I said as I urged her on.

I took her up to the apartment and inside she went directly to her room. Looking at the clock it was just past 5:30 in the afternoon. The rain which was only falling lightly began to pour outside.

"I'm going to bed. Could you help me undress? My arm cast makes it a bit hard. " She requested.

Quickly pushing aside all the thoughts that invaded my mind, I helped her change into her normal sleeping clothes, which consisted of panties and t shirt. I'll admit that my heart began to beat faster seeing her pulled pants off, but the guilt I quickly felt dampened any thoughts of old times together.

I helped her into bed and covered her up.

"Tori" She sounding even more weary. "I'm going to check into the psych ward tomorrow as an inpatient. Would you take me please?"

"Of course"

"I know you said you would stay, but I don't want you to lose your job because of me. You go back as you planned. I'll be in safe hands by then."

I still felt bad about leaving her. "Are you sure?"

Jade nodded. She looked as if she was going to say more, but sleep quickly claimed her. Her eyes just seemed to close and she fell instantly asleep. I felt so bad for her, I could barely stand it. I loved her so much and to see her in so much pain was killing me.

I kissed her on the forehead and left the room.

Being left alone in Jade and Krista's apartment, I called my mom and had her bring some of my things. I also called Cat and told her I was watching over Jade that night.

"I can think of one else better qualified to do so. Thanks Tori." Cat said before hanging up.

I thought of watching the TV while I waited for the Pizza to arrive, but then I remembered the Cd's of Krista's practicing Jade had mentioned. Walking into the music room, I looked to the bookcase which had a good number of CD's on it.

I pulled one out that looked like a homemade one. On the CD case, was written in neat script.

In my head I could hear Imaginary Jade growl. She had been mostly silent today, but I knew that wouldn't last long. I was feeling guilty about going through Krista's stuff. "That's right, just go through my dead girlfriends stuff. You going to sniff her panties too?"

Bach – Cello Suite No.1 in G Major. Movements 1 – 3

Below that was a date of about 4 months ago. I assume it was the day she recorded it. I put the Cd in the stereo and hit play.

Suddenly I heard what I recognized as Krista's voice. I'll admit it was a bit startling to here it. Once again that feeling of being an intruder came back but I kept listening.

"This is Krista Tyler and this is Bach's Cello suite No. 1 in G Major. First 3 movements. That's assuming Jade doesn't interrupt me again. I've learned that practicing when your girlfriend is nibbling on your neck is quite hard. I do lover her, but I need to get this down."

I paused, it as I couldn't help but laugh. "You too huh. Try playing the piano when you're girlfriend's hand is up back of your shirt." Sometimes Jade would try and get me all hot and bothered when I was trying to practice. She said it put an edge on my playing and or singing. That was bullshit, she just liked to fuck with me and if she succeeded in getting me all worked up, she'd get fucked silly. I'd get my revenge by parading around in my sexiest Victoria Secret ware when she was trying to write. Once when she wouldn't budge from her computer I just sat down on the couch and began to masturbate right in front of her. Her attempts to ignore me, didn't last very long and I was quickly dragged into the bedroom.

I hit play again and Krista's voice returned. "Note to self. Watch the intro of the 3rd movement. I think I've got it down, Hopefully I'll get it right this time."

With that, I heard the sound of a solo cello play a soft melody. I've never heard the song before but it was quite beautiful. Krista's playing was flawless; if there were any mistakes I didn't hear any. I was entranced by her playing, so entranced I almost missed the buzzer when the pizza arrived. I put my pizza and soda down on the table in the music room and continued to listen to Krista's wonderful playing.

I spent more than an hour and half listening to the various practice CD's Krista made. She would make funny comments in the beginning of some of them. Most of them related to Jade in one form or another.

One of the more notable ones went like this.

"This is Krista Tyler and this is the Beethoven's Cello Son.." Krista started to say before I heard Jade's voice in the background.

"Nuff Practing baby, Jade needs her fuck time."

"JADE!, I'M PRACTCING HERE, CANT YOU SEE!" Krista barked. "Don't you remember our agreement; if the door's closed you leave me alone."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"I don't care, practice on me." Jade snapped.

I could tell by the tone of her voice she was very horny. I instinctively knew that tone. Just hearing that, made my insides stir a bit. I felt like I was eavesdropping and it did make me feel a bit awkward but it was sort of funny. The fact that Jade did to Krista some of the very things, she would do to me.

"Practice What?"

"You're tongue exercises. I only came once last night. You're slipping."

Krista huffed. "You're not going to leave me alone aren't you?"

"NO. Jade want's her fuck time." I could practically see the pout on her face. I know that pout all too well.

"Since when do you speak in the 3rd person Jade?" Krista said, sounding a bit exasperated.

I could hear Jade's voice begin to fade; I presume she was walking away. "Move it Krista, don't make me masturbate loudly while you're trying to record. These walls aren't too thick you know."

I heard a visible growl. "We'll get back to the beginning of Beethoven's Cello Sonata No. 4 in C major as soon as I fuck my horny and annoying girlfriend senseless."

Thankfully I didn't have to hear that. The song itself started only a few seconds later. Like the other one it was very beautiful.

I can see why Jade loved her so much. She was direct, and funny. But as I put the CD's back, I felt that sense of heartbreak return. Jade had lost her and due to her own actions. I can't even fathom the pain she was in.

I heard someone opening the apartment door at this point. So I walked over and saw Jade's mother in the doorway. She must have a spare key, I'd guess.

"Oh…It's you. Where's Jade." Allison said in a low tone. Is it me or did the temperature in this room suddenly drop about 50 degrees.

"She's exhausted and sleeping in her room. I took her to Krista's grave today. She's still very broken up about it."

"Of course she is." Allison snapped. "You should have let me take her to Krista's grave."

I could see the hatred in her eyes as she stood there in front of me. "Jade's checking into the psych ward at Mercy Hospital tomorrow as in inpatient. She's severely depressed and emotionally distraught. She needs professional help."

Allison seemed to grow angry. "Yet another decision you make without consulting me.. Aren't you just the lucky one. Using Krista's death, to worm your way back into my poor Jade's broken heart and her bed." She said swiftly, every word dripping with venom.

Instantly fuming with anger, I took several steps forward and got right in her face. "Look Mrs. West. You don't like me and I don't like you. But here is the simple truth of the matter. Yes, I am still in love with Jade, as much as I ever have been. I to this day, feel terrible about what I did to her. But in all honesty it breaks my heart to see the woman I love, in so much pain. If I could, in some way make it, so Krista could walk through that door and take Jade in her arms I would. Even if it meant, me taking my place in that grave. I love her that much, I want to see her out of pain and misery that much. You don't know how much it tears me up inside to see Jade like this. This is not about me or even us. This is about Jade and what I can do to help her. I'm leaving Saturday morning to go home and I can only hope the people around her that she needs, are there to support her when I'm gone. People like you. So stop being a selfish bitch and start being a mother." As dramatic as it was, I meant every single word of it

I don't think she expected that. As I finished my speech, her mouth fell open in shock and she took a step backwards looking as if she had been struck.

"And for your information I am staying here with her tonight, but I'm sleeping on the couch. Krista was a talented, funny woman who made Jade very happy and I would never do anything to disrespect her memory. So until you're going to act like a real mother, get the fuck out."

That seemed to finish her off. Her arrogant, self important demeanor quickly seemed to vanish. I could see her hands' began to shake and her lip began to quiver as it looked very much like she was going to cry.

"Just…Just…Have Jade call me in the morning." She said, sounding stunned.

With that Jade's mother quickly retreated and left the apartment. I had just completely destroyed Jade's mother and I'll tell you, it felt dam good. Maybe that will knock some sense into her.

Again I could hear the sound of Imaginary Jade laughing.

After collecting my thoughts and calming down, I returned the music room to retrieve my pizza. But before I did that I peeked my head into Jade's room. She was in bed, asleep.

"It will be alright Jade. I promise." I said softly before closing the door.

The two classical music pieces I mention are both quite real and quite nice. They are both for solo cello and I figured that would be something Krista would play.

I wanted to find a way to bring her into the story, at least just a bit. So I had a bit of interaction between Jade and Krista there. I hope you liked it.