Disclaimer: The Show Victorious, its characters and other associated copyrights are property of someone else and not me.

The Last Resort

Chapter 8 – A life without…

Tori's POV

The rest of the evening went uneventfully. I figured I probably crossed a boundary by listening to the practice CD's so I kept out of trouble for the rest of the night and just watched TV. Around 11, I decided to go to bed myself. Jade had been asleep for hours and so far I hadn't heard a peep from her. I did check on her from time to time and she was just fine.

As Jade said, the couch folded out into a bed. Thankfully there were already sheets on it. I made a quick search and found a blanket on the shelf of a linen closet. Soon enough I was in the dark, lying in bed.

My mind couldn't get off of Jade who was sleeping only a few rooms away. Part of me wanted to crawl into bed with her so badly. Not just for me, but because I know she needs someone to hold her. I love her so much and I wish there was more I could do. I was so close to her after all these years, yet so far. Those were my thoughts as I drifted off to sleep.

Sometime later I awoke to the sound of Jade's voice. As my eyes snapped open I could see that it was still night time. Checking my phone, I could see it was 3:04 AM.

"Krista?" I could hear Jade's voice call out, sounding distressed. As I got out of bed, I could see in the dim light, a figure move from the hallway leading to the bedroom towards the kitchen.

"Krista?" Jade said again, sounding upset.

I sprung off the bed and rushed to Jade, putting my hand on her arm. "Jade, Jade. Are you ok?"

I could tell by the look in her eyes she was almost completely out of it. I'm not sure if this is considered sleepwalking, but it certainly looked like it.

After a moment she looked at me with hazy look in her eyes. "Krista, I…I…woke and you weren't there. I couldn't find you…I." She sounded very worried.

She must have had a dream or nightmare and now she's looking for Krista. She's still half asleep. My heart ached when, I realized she thought I was Krista.

"Jade, it's me Tori. You had a dream. I'm sorry, but Krista's gone." I said as a tear came to my eye.

It was then I could see the realization creep back into her eyes. Her whole form just seemed to wither on the spot. "I'm sorry Tori. I dreamed about her and she wasn't in bed with me. I was looking…" Jade said before she started to cry.

"I miss her so much, Tori." She said as she fell into my arms.

I gave her back a quick rub. "I know you do. Let get you back into bed."

Jade whimpered as I led her back into her bedroom. All of this was so hard for me, so hard to keep myself together. I just wanted to cry for my poor Jade.

I put her back into bed and as before she fell asleep almost instantly. Once I was sure she was safely asleep, I left the room. I then went into the bathroom, shut the door and broke down into tears. I had been strong for Jade ever since I had arrived and I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

I quietly sobbed in the bathroom for about 20 minutes, then I carried myself back into bed. I couldn't' sleep at first, but I eventually managed to fall into a restless sleep.

I woke about 8:30 and quick check revealed a still sleeping Jade. So I took a quick shower, got dressed and made some phone calls. I called Cat to say how the night went amongst others. As soon as I was done with that I started to make Jade breakfast, like I would do so long ago. It took me a few minutes to find everything but I eventually got started.

I guessed Jade would be up soon and in any case the smell would wake her up anyway. Sure enough, when I was about 90% of the way finished I heard the toilet flush. A few moments later, she came walking into the kitchen. Her hair was a mess, she was wearing no makeup, and she had that lost look in her eyes. For a moment she looked at me then a look of slight disappointment ran across her face. I knew that for an instant, she was hoping I would be someone else.

She wasn't much of a talker in the morning, so I smiled and handed her the cup of coffee that I had already poured for her. She nodded, took the cup and silently walked into the living room, where she sat on the couch.

"Breakfast will be ready in about 5 minutes." I said trying to be cheerful.

"Thank you." Jade said with little emotion as she turned on the TV. She messed with the nextflix and a minute later I could see the intro to the cartoon, Courage the Cowardly Dog. If you haven't seen it, it's about a cowardly dog that protected his owners from various curses, monsters etc. It was a rather dark and at times disturbing cartoon. It fit Jades rather dark sense of humor perfectly.

I finished breakfast and took the plate and juice out to her, placing on the coffee table in front of her.

"I took the liberty of calling the psych ward at Mercy Hospital already. They do have room and are awaiting your arrival. I spoke briefly with a Doctor Elizabeth Worden and gave her the basics. She understood and thinks you're doing the right thing. I hope you don't mind that I took care of it for you. When I found the blanket in the linen closet last night, I even found a suitcase. I took that out for you. I can help you pack, when you're ready."

Jade sighed and looked up at me. "Thank you. Sit with me and eat."

I fixed up my plate and sat next to her, as we watched the cartoon. I wasn't sure if she remembered thinking I was Krista so I decided not to mention it.

"I hope you don't mind, but I listened to some of those practice CD's, I found in the music room. Both Beck, Cat and Andre all told me she was very talented. They weren't exaggerating. I enjoyed listening to them very much."

Now I really cringed, I half expected Jade to explode but she smiled. "I'm very glad you did."

"You know it's just a suggestion, but you may want to take some of those and put them on your pearpod. That way you can hear her play whenever you like."

Jade nodded. "That's not a bad idea."

Jade didn't seem very talkative so I just quieted down and we ate in peace. I got the feeling Jade just wanted me nearby, which I was happy to oblige. After we both finished, I grabbed the empty plates and took them in the kitchen.

"I'll clean up." Said Jade.

I waived her off with my hand. "Shoo. Take your shower, watch TV, relax. I'll clean up."

Jade frowned and tried to move past me to the sink. I quickly got in her way and gave her a steely stare. "Don't make me hide your favorite pair of scissors. So leave this kitchen, NOW!"

For a split second, she looked angry. But as quick as that look came she turned round and walked back to the living room. Jade remained mostly quiet during the rest of the morning. She showered and got dressed. I helped her pack and we prepared to take her to the hospital. We decided to go to lunch before taking her to the hospital.

"Where are we headed?" Jade asked as we pulled away from the curb.

"How about Nozu, for old times sake?" I said quickly.

Jade nodded with a hint of a smile. "I'd like to eat there again."

So we had lunch and Jade was a bit more talkative, but not a whole lot. She asked me about my life in New York. I told her my career was doing ok, but I wasn't getting very big parts. I knew she had has some acting successes. I enjoyed lunch and I think Jade did as well, but it seemed very bittersweet.

Eventually we finished lunch and drove her to the hospital. We checked her in and took a brief tour of the facility. It seemed very nice, the rooms seemed less like hospital rooms and more like hotel rooms.

After the tour, the nurse left Jade and I alone, so she could unpack and get comfortable.

I was looking out the window where I could see the Hollywood sign off in the distance when I heard Jade say in a soft voice. "Tori, I know you're going to be leaving soon and I want to talk with you."

Sitting down next to her I could see she looked a bit nervous. I'd guess it was about something she had to say.

"Before you speak Jade, I'm supposed to go home tomorrow morning. Do you need me to stay?"

Jade paused for a moment, as if to collect her thoughts. Then unexpectedly she took my hand and looked me straight in the eye. I felt strange with her holding my hand. It was a nice strange, but still strange.

"First, you don't need to stay. I don't want you to lose your job or jobs. You've sacrificed enough for me already." Jade then took a deep breath and began to speak again. "I've been trying to think of what to say to you all morning and this is the best I could come up with. I could merely say thank you for your help but that wouldn't come close to cover it. You saved me. If you wouldn't have come I would still be catatonic. It was only when I heard your voice did I even begin to try and fight my way out. It was you talking about your impulsive mistake that gave me the strength to finally break free. Even if I wasn't catatonic and you weren't here, I would have opened up my wrists by now."

I could see the various emotions in play, as I read the expression on her face. Just before she began to speak, a single tear came to her eye.

"I heard you last night talking to my mother. The voices woke me and I poked my head out the door. I heard everything you said."

I gasped audibly, as I never suspected Jade heard me admit I still loved her. I so feared how she would react. There was no point in denying what was the truth.

Suddenly a tear appeared in my eye. "Jade, for what it's worth, I meant everything I said."

Jade smiled. "You have no idea, how much those words mean to me. That you would value my happiness, over all else."

Jade sniffed and wiped away another tear. "All those years ago, I didn't handle it well. I was wrong. I'm not sure how I should have acted, but just cutting you off without even giving you a word to explain yourself wasn't right. I just want to say that I both sorry for how I acted and.."

Jade squeezed my hand. "I forgive you."

I had never ever expected to hear those three words coming from Jade's mouth. They hit me like a freight train. I was quickly overcome with emotion and covered my tear filled eyes. I still didn't feel worthy.

"You Can't, You Can't I cheated on you." I stammered out.

"Stop that Vega! I'm here because I have to learn to live with my mistake. And the first thing I'm going to have to learn is that people do make mistakes. So please, tell imaginary Jade to shut the fuck up. Because I forgive you. Just as I hope to be able to forgive myself someday."

Jade then let go of my hand and with her one hand pulled me into a hug as I started to cry. "I didn't come here to gain anything. I just wanted to help you Jade. When I saw how much pain you were in, my heart simply broke."

I had been forgiven, that was more than I could have possibly hoped for. Jade now knows that I still love her. But I has to end there. I can't possibly think of trying to get her back. Not now at least. Now simply wasn't the time.

"Thank you Jade!" I said through my tears.

She put her forehead to mine, a gesture she used to use as a sign of affection so long ago. "No. Thank you Tori Vega. I'm safe now. I'm where I need to be. You got me there. No one else could have."

For a single tender moment we quietly and tearfully looked at other.

"I guessed I misjudged you Vega. Sorry. You did good. Were cool and good luck." I could hear imaginary Jade say, as she her voice slowly faded away.

I wanted to stay in this moment forever but it quickly broke and Jade pulled back away from me. Her features once again becoming guarded, as she wiped her tears.

"I'll call my mom. Hopefully you knocked some sense into her." Jade said as she stood up.

I got off the couch. "Oh, before I forget. My mom said to tell you. Call her when you're going to get out. She'll make up some food for you to eat. Stuff you can just heat up."

Jade for the first time in the trip briefly smirked. "Your mom is determined to watch over me isn't she?"

I shrugged. "Sorry."

"Don't be."

With that, she walked me to the door to the ward. I didn't want to leave, but my job was done and I had to.

Jade put her one good arm around me, pulled me into a hug and kissed me on the cheek. "See you round Vega."

"I'll be checking up on you. I'd hate to see all my good work go to waste." I said with a smile.

Jade smirked again briefly. "I'm sure you will."

I grabbed the door handle to leave but paused for a moment. "Hey when you get a chance. I'd like copies of some of those practice tapes. Krista was a wonderful talent, it be a shame not to enjoy her work."

Jade made a sad smile. Will do, and thank you."

With that, I walked out the door and door and heard it lock behind me.

The next morning I was at the security checkpoint of the airport, ticket in hand. My mother was had driven me and was seeing me off.

"I'm so proud of you Tori. Poor Jade was so lost and broken. You saved her." My mom said with a quick hug.

"I don't want to leave her."

My mom nodded. "I think you need to. She needs time to mourn and heal. Give her a bit of distance. Keep tabs on her, but not too often. If she still loves you, she'll come to you when she feels the time is right. In the meantime, I'll play the part of the adoptive mother and keep an eye on her for you. She needs support and David and I are happy to give it."

"I've talked with Cat, Robbie, Beck and Andre. They've all know the basics and are willing to help her out.

I gave my mom a final hug and said good bye.

An hour later I was on a 747 heading home to New York. Heading home to a life, which much like before was a life, without Jade. I don't know if she still loves me or even could. I know I'm not going to get that answer anytime soon. I also know it's a bit selfish to think of getting Jade back at all right now. But I feel like I'm the only one that can protect her fragile heart. In any case, love me or not, Jade needs her time.

It was a life without Jade, but maybe not forever.

I'm winding up this story. Only one or two chapters left. I am looking forward to getting back to "The Bet."

Well Jade is in the psych ward where she'll get the help she needs. Tori, much to her relief has been forgiven for cheating on Jade. Something she never even expected to get.