This chapter is so bad, I really didn't know where I was going with this one. If you have any ideas, please tell me, because I'm losing ideas for this storyline. I'm also sorry that there isn't all that much drama, again. I really wanted this chapter to be based purely on the whole Tom scenario, and Lorraine embracing her emotions. Please review, enjoy.
Shit. Ok, we're here. Fuck, pull yourself together Lorraine, you have to do this, you have to prove to yourself that you're not the heartless bitch that everybody thinks you are. I knew this night was predominately about Tom, but there was another reason I'd pulled all the staff in tonight. I wanted to make a public announcement about me and Nikki. Firstly, I wanted to prove to myself that I could get past all the demons that had bothered me in my teenage years, and secondly, I knew that Nikki would want to make this public sooner or later, so why not now?
Stepping out of my Ferrari, I looked around, noticing that Sian's car was already here, as was Michaels. Good, hopefully they were inside talking. They had one hell of a chemistry, a little like the one I had with Nikki… I turned around to look at her, noticing that she was staring off into the distance, most likely thinking about Tom. I hated seeing her like this, but I had no idea how to manage these sort of situations. Whenever Sonya got upset, I just ignored it, just like I did when she was upset over mum. I couldn't even manage my own emotions, let alone someone else's. Taking hold of Nikki's hand, I started walking in the direction of the pub, dropping it just before we went inside. I wanted her to feel like I didn't want anybody knowing, that way I could really surprise her tonight. I could really show her that I wasn't the same old emotionless cow as before. I could prove to her that her heart wasn't going to be at risk by being with me. Although this was all something I wanted to prove to Nikki, I also wanted to prove it to myself. I was always the kid who never shared anything with anybody, the one who would only make an effort with others if business was involved. The kid who cut off all ties with her mother at the age of 18.
"Lo…? We going in or not? Everybody is waiting…"
Nikki's question grabbed my attention, pulling me back to reality. Looking up to her, I smiled softly and walked inside, with her following swiftly.
"Evening campers!" I said, greeting the vaguely happy faces of past and present staff. Gaining a few mumbled evenings and hellos in reply, I motioned for Nikki to go and sit down whilst I got us both a drink, seeing as everybody else had already gotten one.
Walking over to the bar, I managed to turn the heads of a few teenage boys, most likely underage. Sighing, I resisted the urge to stick my finger up at them, instead I just continued walking over to the bar.
(-)
"Right guys, can I have your attention please?" I asked, trying to be as polite as I could. I wasn't really much of a public speaker, that was something Michael was good at. Not that I wanted to think about him right now, although he did look quite content over in the corner with Sian. Me and Nikki still hadn't decided how we were going to tackle the situation with him, as Nikki had quite obviously had other things on her mind. As the mumblings finally came to an end, I stood up.
"So, we… Well, we all know why we're here tonight. To have a toast to Tom Clarkson. Now… I didn't know him all that well, so… Nik? Sian? Matt? Would any of you guys like to say something before we have a toast?" I asked, purposely leaving Michael's name out, and silently hoping that Nikki would say something before I made my own announcement. It would help her to get her feelings out there, I guess. Not that I'd had much experience in the whole 'emotion' department.
All eyes had turned towards Nikki, probably because her and Tom were so close in the past. Before I'd even had the opportunity to ask her if this was all ok, she stood up, her hands shaking slightly. I wished I could just reach out and grab them, silently telling her that it would all be ok, but I couldn't. Instead, I rubbed my foot against her leg, earning myself a small smile in return.
"Um… Well… We all knew Tom. He was... An incredible guy. Always putting the kids before himself. And although that was… An inspirational thing to do, it was also the trait that led him to his death… He'd appreciate this, he really would. Considering he spent the majority of time in a pub."
She stopped, laughing slightly, before her smile turned into a frown, tears threatening to overflow. I nudged her leg with my foot again, another silent reminder that it was all going to be ok. She looked at me, her mouth opening as if she was going to say something, but nothing came out. Smiling at her, I motioned for her to sit down, whilst Janeece decided to say something, swiftly followed by Matt and Grantly.
The speeches were beautiful, and even reduced me to having tears in my eyes. Controlling my emotions, I pushed them back, as I always did. Nikki however was another story, silent tears were running down her face. Everybody had finished their speeches, and I knew I had to do the toast before I announced that me and Nikki were together. Fuck, I was nervous. I was putting my emotions out on a table for people to look at, to take and to hurt, but I didn't care this time.
"Ok, guys, can we raise our glasses please?" I asked, receiving a quick response, everybody eager to do something for Tom.
"To Tom" we all announced, our glasses clinking together, a peaceful atmosphere descending over us. Some people looked like there were about to go, so I knew I had to grab this opportunity. It was now or never, Lorraine.
"Before you all go, I have one last thing I need to say." I said, watching Nikki as she looked up to me curiously, her face full of concern. I moved so that I was behind her, and I placed my arms on her shoulders.
"Me and Nik, well… We're together. I wanted to get this out in the open, and I wanted you all to know, especially the ones who still work under me at Waterloo Road. And… I wanted to say, I'm sorry Nik… I screwed up before, I was scared, but not this time." I finished, leaning forward to kiss her cheek, hearing a few mumbles before I got a slight applause.
"Lo, that was… Wow. Thank you. I forgave you though, for screwing up before. Let's just look to the future now, yeah?" Nikki asked, her voice barely reaching above a whisper.
"Yeah…" I replied, my smile reaching my eyes, I finally felt happy. Leaning forward once more, I pressed my lips onto hers, once again hearing a few mumbles, and a few shouts of 'get in there', mainly coming from Matt, Janeece and Sonya. Smiling against Nikki's lips, I kissed her once more, my eyes opening slightly, catching a glimpse of Michael's expression. He looked angry, so fucking angry. I should be worried, but I wasn't. I had Nikki by my side, and what did he have? Nothing. Nothing but pure anger and jealously.
A/N: sorry it's shit. And oh at the irony of the fact that 'Let Her Go' was playing whilst I wrote the last few paragraphs. Please review.