Belgium! :D
I feel pride in writing my own country, okay? Don't blame me.
I did manage to turn her into a bitch somehow though... I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened.
On the bright side, she'll get better :)

I do not own hetalia.

Belgium hated war. Most countries did of course, however, out of all of them, she hated the fighting the most. It wasn't so much for the incredible amounts of deaths or the mental scarring it caused, that she could deal with. Her mind was strong enough; she could be psychologically tortured for months without giving in. No, what she hated the most was that her body couldn't catch up with her spirit. War reminded her how weak she was, how much of a burden she proved to be to other countries.
The Cold War hadn't been better.

"… You okay, Bel?" her brother's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. Netherlands was sitting right next to her, his eyes looking straight at hers. He was so silent, casually reading his newspaper, that Belgium had completely forgotten about him "You're pale."

"Bel bel's sick?" Luxembourg suddenly asked, popping from behind the couch. His green eyes were blurred with worry and darkened from working too much. Belgium sighed, why was her little brother being worked to death? The poor guy seriously needed a break. Moreover, it was incredible he still found the time to worry for her. Such a nice, cosy family she had.

"I'm fine. Just a nightmare I hadn't had in a long time." She explained. There was no point in lying to her brothers, not only would Luxembourg immediately detect the lie but Netherlands would glare at her until she spoke the truth. When Netherlands glared, he always got what he wanted. "We're countries, it's normal for us to have reminders of our past from time to time. Plus, you guys chased my demons away by being such good brothers!" She pulled the two in a hug, much to her older sibling's displeasure.

"It's kind of a coincidence, I had a nightmare too." Admitted the younger of the three "There was fire everywhere and people blaming me." the boy shivered "And they weren't wrong, I had a lighter in my hand."

"Awwww… Don't worry Lux! Nee-chan is here to protect you!" the woman tightened her grip on both her brothers "Worst case, Ned will save us both! There's nothing that scares him so he won't be eaten up by nightmares, right Ned?" she turned to Netherlands who just avoided her gaze "…Ned?" Belgium released her grip.

"…" His shoulders slumped in defeat "No one is immune to fear."

"Don't tell me you had a nightmare too." Belgium sighed "That's too much of a coincidence. Did we watch a scary movie or something recently?"

"We didn't." Netherlands denied.

"… Isn't that because we never do anything together?" asked Luxembourg, a bit sad to face the truth.

"…"

"…"

"LET'S SPEND THE DAY TOGETHER!" Belgium joyfully declared, grabbing her siblings' hands and dragging them away from the house.

"I have work!" Luxembourg complained, hiding a smile.

"…" Netherlands shrugged, taking his coat due to the unusual cold temperature. It was a wonder why winter was so unpredictable; just when you think it's over, it comes back.

The streets of Brussels were bustling with life as always, old buildings surrounding the siblings as the calmly walked around, taking in the fresh air and the rare good weather.

"For the last time, I don't eat cats!" yelled an exasperated voice.

"I don't trust you." Claimed a low, defensive tone. Belgium and her brothers made their way through the crowd to see the commotion that disturbed the peaceful city of Brussels. A few minutes in their family stroll, the three had noticed a large gathering next to a small café. About fifty to sixty civilians were flocking around an argument which from what they could hear, was in English.

The first thing they managed to catch a glimpse of sank their hearts into fear. Silver strands of hair could be seen, overstepping the normal height. As the dived further in the crowd, purple eyes, a large nose and a pale pink scarf attached themselves to the portrait, confirming their first guess. Russia. Belgium slowed her pace. Russia… What would he be doing in her country? The man was never a messenger of good news but an omen of catastrophe.

She could still remember when he had tried to bring her family into the Soviet Union. She could remember the hidden threats in his words, the eyes that looked at them like mere war trophies, the deals too tempting to be without trap… The constant dilemmas him and his Russian mind games created in her head were too recent and too scarring not to cloud her judgement on his person. She hated him, loathed him for the Cold War, her teeth gritted with the simple memory of him going around convincing countries to become one with him.

"Cats are not on any menu for God's sake!" Unexpectedly, what she heard was not Russia's voice. It was higher and free from the childish tone. But the sea of people unabled her to see who had just spoken.

She did manage to see who he was talking to, though. With a wary expression on his face, Greece stood in the middle of the circle formed by the Belgian citizens. He looked half asleep but the fire in his eyes could be seen from miles away. "Why would I believe you?" he argued.

Finally, Belgium broke through the wall of people, followed by her siblings "Stop!" she yelled. The woman inspected the scene in front of her, purposely ignoring the tall Russian. On one side was Greece, her most loyal visitor (since he had heard about the cat festival, he became very fond of the small country) and on the other was Russia and two teenagers, one of which she swore she had seen before.

The familiar boy broke the silence she had created "Thank God you're here Belg – uhm, Emma! Could you please tell Greece my people do not eat cats?"

"Emma won't lie for you, cat-eater." Greece growled, ignoring the irritated groan that escaped the boy's mouth. "Everyone knows China eats cats."

"Isn't that the point?" Russia suddenly interrupted, obviously enjoying the fight "He's not China, he's Hong Kong." The giant paused for a while, suddenly realizing his mistake "-ese. Hong Kongese. Not Chinese. Ah~ English is such a difficult language!"

"… Idiots." Netherlands deadpanned.

"Don't call people bad names Lars." Belgium pouted, eager to face her brother instead of Russia.

"What are you doing in nee-chan's coun – Why are you visiting nee-chan?" Luxembourg asked between yawns, not showing the tiniest hint of fear in front of the imposing country. Her younger brother has already surpassed her in many ways… Belgium sighed. He wouldn't always be the innocent kid he was.

"Visiting." Greece answered, his past anger already drowning in his usual sleepiness.

"Same." Russia chirped.

Hong Kong grimaced "… and being falsely accused." He glanced towards Greece, clearly pointing at him with his stare.

"So much tension!" the other teenager sighed with a fake dramatic tone. "We were supposed to enjoy our stay here, not create a new war." She turned to Belgium, a big smile appearing on her features "So you're Be – Emma! I'm so glad I finally get to meet you!" The girl stretched her arm towards the country "Goedemorgen, Ik heet Irene (Good morning, I am Irene)."

"Irene?" Belgium broke into a grin, suddenly feeling the need to care for the girl. It was the kind of feeling every country felt for their citizens, that of a mother towards her children. "Aangename kennismaking (Nice to meet you)!"

"Since when do you speak Flemish?" Hong Kong asked Irene.

"It's my parent's first language! English is only their third. Anyway, I can't really speak Flemish; just the basics. However, I can understand like ninety percent of everything." Irene shrugged.

"How about we move out of here?" Russia suggested, a bit of discomfort showing on his face.

Just when Belgium was going to refuse with some kind of crappy excuse she could make on the spot, Luxembourg beat her to it… Unfortunately. "Let's just all head to Em's house."

Did my brother just invite the world's psycho in my house? Oh dear God. Belgium could already feel the horrors that would ensue. Maybe she could somehow make them change their mind? But she liked Irene and wanted her to stay, it was, after all, her home too. Yeah but… Russia! "Mickeal!" she laughed nervously "We don't want to bore our guests to death, do we?"

"It's not boring… We can do loads of stuff, like… like… stuff…" Luxembourg trailed off, taken aback from the use of his full human name. Belgium couldn't blame him; she usually used 'Micky' when addressing him in public and 'Lux' between countries.

"Waffles." Netherlands suggested.

"Ooh! I love waffles!" Irene grinned "Mom used to make them all the time!"

Damn it, Belgium mentally swore. How could both her brothers be so… okay with having the Russian around? Was she the odd one out? She loved them but they could be so oblivious at times!
The image of Luxembourg, Spain, Italy, Netherlands, even of France having to stand firm against the growing influence of communism shot through her head once again. They had all been lucky to have America back then to protect them, who knew what the baltics, Ukraine and all the others had been through?
Pain, torture, excruciating agony.
No, she could not think like that. Her inner fight between Flemish and Walloon was tampering with her mind and feeding her angst. That must be it.

"Follow me, then." She smiled.

"What do you guys want to drink?" Belgium asked her guests, hoping the kitchen to be a good refuge from Russia.

"I'm good." Hong Kong politely turned down the offer.

"Same." Irene replied.

"I have brought my own bottle of vodka, thank you." Russia answered, taking out a bottle of Russian water.

"We can just help ourselves." Luxembourg shrugged. Netherlands just nodded in agreement.

"Oh, uhm, good." The blond woman carefully made her way to the couch on which Irene, Hong Kong and Luxembourg sat. "Scoot a bit Lux."

Awkward silence.

"Soooo," she started "How'd you like your country so far, Irene?"

The girl's face brightened "It's awesome! I wish I could have lived here – no offense Hong Kong."

"Non taken." Hong Kong sighed "You've made it clear my language was something you despised almost as much as England's cooking."

"I was drunk. Doesn't count." The girl huffed.

"Drunk?" Luxembourg asked.

"Iceland and Latvia spiked her drink at the bar after the meeting." Hong Kong smirked.

"Iceland and Latvia? Who would have thought?" Belgium giggled, trying to picture the calm and emotionless nordic and the shaking Baltic pulling a prank on someone. It just seemed so out of character of them to do such thing.

"Whoah, whoah wait!" Irene interrupted "They're the one who did that?"

"Oh right, you didn't know." Hong Kong teased, receiving playful punches from the girl.

The two teenagers started bickering like an old couple, completely ignoring their surroundings. Belgium couldn't help but laugh at the two's friendship, Luxembourg was quick to follow her and Netherlands even had a faint smile drawn on his lips.

Hong Kong and Irene's faces were so carefree and relaxed Belgium felt a pang of envy. When was the last time her brothers had smiled like that? When was the last time the whole family had the opportunity to bicker over something completely stupid? Had they ever had such a joy?
If only she could light up her brother's expressions like Irene had lit up Hong Kong's.
And before she could think twice, the words left her mouth "How about living with me?"

Silence.

Not getting any response, she continued "Being, well, Belgium, I feel responsible for you and you seem like a fun person, so why not stay here? I'll protect you from England!"

Irene looked surprised before breaking into a grin. Russia tensed. "Thanks but I think I'll stick with Russia." The tension in the russian's shoulders dissipated as Irene spoke her words "You don't have to burden yourself with me, spend more time with Luxembourg instead, he looks like he hadn't had holidays in centuries!"

Russia. Russia had been chosen over her.

Smile, Belgium. Smile. "It's great you've found someone to stay with!" If you can't fight, smile.

"Wait a second!" Luxembourg suddenly said "Where's Greece?"

…

…

Belgium facepalmed "That idiot fell asleep in the middle of the road again, didn't he?" She sighed and got up to grab her coat "I'll go look for him."
You won't find it if you can't smile.
Shut up, brain.

Much to her dread, another nation got up.
"I'll help you." Russia added, following her to the door.

It was weird how the morning had seemed so sunny a few minutes earlier and so grey after the arrival of Russia. No. Belgium could see the rays of warmth embracing her people and caressing her land. Everything lied in her mood.

A cough emerged from her side, where Russia was walking.

He took a deep breath "Thank you." he said, his eyes staring in hers. They seemed different then she remembered, less happy but much more sincere. His smile had come to change too but how, she could not tell.

She stopped in her tracks and for the first time, looked straight at the man "Please don't thank me. I haven't done anything to help you." You haven't done anything, Belgium.

"In that case I should apologize," Russia continued "For imposing our presence in your country. Irene was so eager to see it, I couldn't say no."

"Blaming others?" She replied, a mocking tone escaping her lips. Why aren't you smiling, Belgium?

A small hint of sadness overtook the big nation's face yet his smile remained "That is not what I meant. However, I see you still hold hostility towards me, da?"

"Who doesn't?" the woman growled "You have tormented us for years because we didn't bow to your communism! You have played with our emotions, played with our thoughts and still believe we'll forgive you? Did you even see how lost we all were after a simple conversation with you? You blurred our right and our wrong, you made us doubt our most devoted convictions, you made us choose between fighting you or joining you, both of which seemed to bring misery. You're a horrible person!" That's right. Only powerful people can smile. You're weak.

"Then why do your brothers act like everything's fine?" Russia retorted, his smile slowly disappearing before once again resurfacing "I am sorry. Please do not mind me."

"Why?" Belgium asked "Why did you follow me?"

The man paused. He shuffled nervously on his feet before answering, with an unsure voice "I have a favour to ask you." The woman stiffened "Irene is a great person, she's always trying her best for others so please, please don't let her see how much you hate me. Right now, she has this weird obsession of trying to get me to be friends with others… It's cute how she believes such a thing is possible, da?"

Belgium frowned. Russia looked so weak at the moment, despite his smile growing under his scarf. Smile. Smile and one day, you'll find what you want and be what you want. Smile and one day, it will be sincere.

"Fine." Belgium answered "I will pretend to be friendly, but don't get me wrong. This is for Irene."

Russia shrugged "I wasn't expecting more from you. It is on the other hand, a pity your cheerful self seems to die whenever I come close. I bet the others would cry seeing you like this."

"Oh don't flatter yourself." Belgium seethed "We both know you're the one who made me like this."

Russia's eyes widened, as if the news were fresh to his ears. He stared at the woman in front of him in shock. Slowly, his smile became more and more like the childish taunt that was his usual one and his purple eyes turned a few shades darker.

"Right." He chirped, his voice back in the innocent tone he enjoyed wrapping it in "Everything is my fault."

"What are you insinuating?" the woman asked, irritated by his vague answers.

"Nothing~" he hummed "I'm just realizing that some things never change."

Smiling is winning in this world.

So why don't you smile?

Belgium chased the words from her head and resumed walking, this time at a faster pace.
Russia followed her.

"'Smiling is winning'." She quoted as she walked, catching the man's attention "I still don't understand what you meant."

"You-You remember that?" the russian's voice was mixed with emotions Belgium couldn't identify. She turned her head, catching the glimpse of a man who seemed so human to her eyes at that moment. His smile changed again, to one that stirred jealousy in the woman's heart. "Even I have fully understood the meaning only weeks ago."

Belgium froze again.

"Wait. What do you mean?" she asked "Those are your words! How can you not have understood them?" Anger built in her chest. It piled up, and piled up and… No. It wasn't anger. It was fear, fear of feeling guilty. Fear of having hated the wrong person for too long.

A small blush spread on to the giant's cheeks as his eyes closed to recall the words "They were my mother's words, her last words."

"Kieven Rus." Belgium concluded "Everything, everything you told me during the Cold War were her words and not yours?"

"Da." He confirmed, curious at the woman's fascination with the words. "I thought you looked a lot like me. Your expression I mean. The image of you, smiling and laughing among your siblings was still the only I one I could picture in my mind. When I saw you broken by the World Wars I told you mother's words, the same she told me when I had broken down, In hopes you would understand them even if I didn't." the man let out a laugh, a small pathetic laugh "But no matter what I tell you, you won't believe me. Because I am Russia, da?"

"…"

"We should hurry up, da? I do not think Greece should wander around for too long alone." Russia resumed walking, passing Belgium.

Smile. He wasn't mocking her when he said those words. He himself was following them.
Belgium knew what had changed in his smile.
It was sincere.
She understood the words.
He had smiled. He had won. He had triumphed over all those who wished for his misery.
And all she could do was hide behind the perfect mask she had created, the one that resembled her before the wars.
She was jealous of him for having gone a few steps forward.
And to add to all that, she felt guilty for hating him.
All he spoke had been the truth and it had hurt because that was what truth did.

When you are weak, all you can do is smile. If you can't, then you have lost.

She had been weak.
She had lost her smile.
And she had taken those words as insults when all they were was advice.

Maybe she could give the man a second chance?