It's results day Thursday. If I haven't updated by say… Sunday, I've probably dug myself a hole and buried myself in it.
On the plus side, I'm listening to fun. aka the best music makers ever.
Thank you for the reviews. Your comments gave me a few ideas, and encouraged me to keep writing this fic. I hope it's ok!
"Nikki, what part of 8am didn't you understand?" Michael asked, his voice penetrating my ears the second I stepped into his office. Sighing, I mumbled some excuse about the traffic being bad before sitting down opposite him, mentally preparing myself for what was about to come.
The meeting was the same old crap as usual. I watched as Simon jotted down something about the school, Sian nodding along with the ideas, and Michael kept going on and on about how shit Lorraine was being in regards to the money. I knew better than to snap, but I really couldn't help myself…
"Michael, she's not a bottomless financial pit, quit treating her like one."
I watched him as he signed, and leaned backwards on his chair, smirking slightly. He was clearly pleased to have gotten a reaction from me, something he could use against me, or Lorraine should the need arise. Fantastic.
"Nikki, Lorraine's money issues are the least of my worries-"
"What?! How can they be the least of your worries?" I asked, cutting him off. Shouting slightly.
"She pays your wages, her money keeps this school up and running!" My voice rose again, capturing the attention of Sian, who quickly tried to diffuse the situation by putting her hand over Michael's, soothing him slightly. An action which made me burn up inside. How could she touch him when he… This made no sense.
"Keep your personal relationships and feelings to one side for the meeting. I expected better of you, Nikki." He mumbled, his voice dropping slightly towards the end, as if he was hoping I wouldn't hear it, yet he knew I would. My hand clenched slightly underneath the table, I was always professional, how dare he comment on that. After all he'd done to Lorraine, and after everything that had happened with Tom, I would've thought he'd have a little… Well, respect, decency even. Decency to shut up anyway.
Sian's hand was still on his, her thumb rubbing small circles into his hand. It made me feel sick, angry. Here he was, preaching about how I should remain professional during meetings, yet here he was having some sort of moment with Sian. I gave her a questioning look, watching as she shook her head slightly, watching as he glared at me.
Simon quickly mumbled some excuse about needed to talk to Maggie and left, clearly sensing the tension in the room. I wished I could follow, the tension was worsening, but I had to stay. I had to back her up, I had to back my girlfriend up…
"You wouldn't have a job without Lorraine, Michael. You might do well to remember that." I stated, an authoritative hint to my tone. Using that probably wasn't my best technique, as I knew he had the power to fire me from Waterloo Road, but I knew Lorraine wouldn't let him… She'd back me up, she always did.
"Nik… Just go, yeah? We um… Got the things we needed for the meeting sorted… I'll catch up with you later?" Sian mumbled, her voice wavering slightly. Was she scared? Did she know something I didn't? I threw her another questioning glance whilst Michael grunted slightly. He really was in a vile mood today.
I quickly collected my things and made my way to the door, mumbling a quick yes to Sian about seeing her later. I closed the door and pulled my phone out, ready to text Lorraine that I was out of the meeting. Ready to ask if she wanted to meet up… Hoping.
I got to my office, my office I used to share with Tom, and dumped my things on my desk, quickly grabbing a seat on the sofa in the corner. Deep breaths Nik, deep breaths, I thought to myself, trying to push the thought of an oncoming panic attack away. I couldn't have on here, not in the school, not now. More deep breaths. More failed attempts at pushing it away. Tears started falling, and I cursed myself slightly. Showing weakness at home was one thing, but here, in school? It was like broadcasting your emotions to the world. Anybody could walk in, anybody could see, but that didn't stop me. I buried my face in my hands, trying to take myself to a happy place, like I was told to do. I took myself back to the night in the pub, where Lorraine managed to get the courage to make our relationship public, where her arms wrapped around me, the warmth. It suddenly all felt real, too real for just a memory, so I opened my eyes, and I saw her. My beautiful girlfriend sat next to me, her arms wrapped around me, her smile lighting up the room.
I quickly wiped away my tears, erasing all traces of my weak moment, and pressed my lips against hers, not caring anymore. Feeling her lips kiss me back, I suddenly felt happy, the thought of an oncoming panic attack gone. Her mere presence making me feel better, making me forget about everything except her lips on mine. As always, she pulled away far too soon, and looked at me, blushing slightly, smiling.
"Feel better now?" She asked, grinning slightly. A hint of flirtatiousness in her voice.
"Oh… I guess… Don't want to boost your ego too much, do I Lo?" I replied, returning the flirty tone.
"How was the meeting?" she asked, quickly changing the subject to a more professional one. Of course she'd want to know what went on, it was her school. Sighing, I quickly mumbled out a response.
"Michael was in a vile mood, complaining about you and money… Same old there. Simon wrote everything down, following orders like a little lapdog, and Sian… Well, she started comforting him when he got mad… How he had the nerve to talk to me about professionalism when they were… Ugh." I sighed again, watching Lorraine's face turning from a concerned expression, to one of humor.
"Looks like we have some competition in the couple department, ey' Nik." She replied, winking.
Nuzzling my face into her shoulder, I laughed softly, wishing that we could be somewhere a little more private, somewhere where we wouldn't be interrupted. She stroked my hair softly, playing with one strand, wrapping it around her finger, telling me that it will all be ok, she'd sort Michael out, and that the school would be ok in her own words. Staying silent, I nodded. It would all be ok, it gets better. She'd be ok too, we'd be ok. That's what we were trying to tell each other, saying it would all be ok, just without the words. We didn't need words, and that's what made me love her, love our relationship, and maybe one day I'd tell her that.