Look! I didn't die! Yay me! (Also, shameless plug, a happy birthday to me as well) At any rate, I wanted to thank for existing and providing the quotes from In the Shadow of Two Gunmen Part I found in this chapter.

Oh, and one last thing-this is just part one of a two part chapter, which will hopefully be up soonish.

She smiled, wishing that she could see Josh's facial expression. She wondered if it was the deer in the headlights look, when his eyes got really big and his mouth was slightly open...

She was kind of tempted to kiss him again.

She was also tempted to giggle. She felt like a giant weight was lifted off of her and all she do was laugh.

She felt him pick up her hand with his, trailing his fingers on her skin and all thoughts she might have had of going to sleep followed his fingers down her skin. Her breathing hitched as his nails lightly scratched the inside of her wrist, his thumb rubbing circles on her palm.

She clutched the sheet with her other hand, reminding herself that Josh was her boss and he was injured. It wouldn't do to explain that Josh tore his stitches because she jumped his bones.

She felt like she was on fire, which she marveled at, considering that all he was doing was holding her hand, yet she felt like she was going to explode if he so much as kissed her.

He turned to his side and she opened her mouth to tell him to stop it, that she would not be held responsible if he hurt himself, that they couldn't cross this line.

He hovered above her mouth and she really thought that he had lost his mind and right now she wasn't very sure she cared.

He lifted his head. "I thought it was only fair that we both be up for the same reason."

She wanted to kill Josh.

She woke up frustrated, thanks to Josh's antics, and took a cold shower. Feeling better, she came out to find him on the couch, reading the newspaper.

"I put the coffee on," he told her.

She arched an eyebrow. "Is this your way of apologizing to me?"

His face was a mask of innocence. "For what?"

"I didn't get any sleep last night."

"Sorry, did I take all the covers?"

"No, you took my hand and did the thing and I couldn't sleep!"

"Donna, if you can't handle a guy holding your hand. I mean, I know I'm da man and all, but..." he trailed off and grinned cockily at her.

Donna blushed, at a loss for words and uncomfortable with the new element to their banter.

An uncomfortable silence settled over them.

"I, uh, better go," she told him.

"Okay."

"Don't get into trouble."

"I promise to amuse myself while you're gone."

She blushed again, her head taking a turn he'd rather not take.

He looked at her quizzically. She said something about leaving and practically ran out before she did something stupid.

She closed the door behind her, taking a breath. Sure, Josh was cute, not like Sam movie-star cute, but cute in a dorky sort of way. He was absolutely useless and probably wouldn't survive without her. He looked nice in a tux, especially white tie. And it was all fine and good to have this secret crush on her buss, but it was totally different when she had to acknowledge it, when he was forcing her to face the possibility that it wasn't just something that caused an errant thought and made her smile, this was something that was very much real and threatening to consume her.

She took a deep breath. Maybe Leo was right. Therapy was a good idea.

For once she hoped that she didn't see anyone around the West Wing. She wasn't very good at lying (especially to CJ, since CJ could always tell when people were bullshitting her because she was Press Secretary and she just had that look that made Donna want to tell her the truth and Sam had such a puppy dog look to him that she would be telling him the truth before she knew it and that wouldn't work...) so she hoped there was a meeting or maybe people would see her and not take a second thought.

Luckily, no one wanted to stop and chat and she met Leo in his office.

"Donna," he greeted her, standing up. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she said automatically. "How are you, Leo?"

He smiled. "I'm well. I trust Josh is behaving himself?"

Donna blushed, remembering last night. "Yes," she said quickly.

Leo stared at her. Donna inwardly groaned. She knew better than to lie to Leo, of all people. He was a master politician. He could probably tell her lie a mile away and now he was going to call Josh and chew him out and Josh would freak out and-

"Donna?"

"Yes?" she squeaked.

"Are you okay? You look a little flushed."

"I'm fine."

"You're nervous."

"Well..."

"Donna, you're flushed and I'm pretty sure you've squeaked on numerous occasions during this conversation."

"Sorry, sir."

"He's doing okay?"

Donna nodded. "Yes, he's doing okay."

"Good. Go get yourself fixed up."

Leo led her to one of the (many) conference rooms in the West Wing. There was a female seated at one end, looking at a file.

"Dr. Loyola," Leo said.

The woman stood up. She wasn't very tall, about a head shorter than Donna. Her black hair was pulled back and she wore black frame glasses. She smiled, sticking out her hand.

"You must be Donna."

"Hello," Donna said, extending her hand.

Dr. Loyola took it. "Have a seat. Mr. McGarry," she nodded.

"Thank you, Doctor," Leo said as he left.

"So, Donna, You are the Deputy Chief of Staff's assistant?"

"Yes, I'm senior assistant to Josh Lyman."

"And you've been his assistant for how long?"

"Since the campaign."

"Wow."

"What?"

"Well, from what I hear Josh Lyman is not an easy man to work with. The campaign was almost four years ago."

"Josh isn't so bad once you get to know him."

"I've been told that you've had a lot of job offers over the years."

"Yes, which is funny, since I don't have a college degree."

"But you work for Josh Lyman. That counts for something."

Donna nodded. "A friend once told me it's the equivalent to having a MA in politics."

"Yet you've stayed with Josh."

"You dance with the one who brought you, Doctor."

"So you feel beholden to Josh for giving you a job?"

Donna laughed. "Don't let him hear you say that."

Dr. Loyola smiled. "You didn't answer my question, Donna."

"No, I don't feel "beholden" to Josh. I like my job. It might not be the best paying job ever, but I have friends here and I work for a good president who is trying to do some good."

Dr. Loyola watched Donna and Donna continued to meet her gaze.

"Mr. Lyman was shot in March."

"Yes."

"Were you there when it happened?"

Donna felt a pain in her chest. "No, I wasn't."

"So you weren't told until after it happened."

"I saw on the news that there was a shooting at Rosslyn and the President had been shot. I had insisted that Josh let me have the night off-he didn't want me too..."

"But Donna! I hate going to these PR events!"

"And I hate having to go to the dentist. Sometimes you just do what you have to."

"Can't you just come with me?"

"Josh," Donna sighed. "Eventually the world will not revolve around you and I won't be here to make sense of your chaos because I'll have found a job with better pay and vacation days and a boss that can drink with the best of them and doesn't need a babysitter."

Josh pouted. "But that's not happening soon, right?"

"Have a good time in Rosslyn, Josh."

"I don't like you."

"Likewise."

"But he let you take off," Dr. Loyola said.

Donna nodded. "I didn't tell Josh, but I had a date that night."

"Why would your boss care that you were on a date?"

"Josh is of the opinion that a boyfriend will interfere with my work and he tends to suddenly have work to attend to at the IRS whenever I have a boyfriend."

"You're telling me that he was your boyfriends audited by the IRS?"

"Yes."

"That seems...severe."

Donna smiled. "Josh likes to send a message."

"How was your date that night?"

Donna shrugged. "It was okay. He was kind of boring. He suddenly had a thing and I wasn't all that upset by it. I went home to go to sleep early, took a shower, put on the news before bed when I found out."

"Did you know about Josh?"

"No. The news focused solely on the President."

"When did you find out?"

"When I got to the hospital. When Toby told me."

"Donna. Josh was hit."

"Hit with what?"

"He was shot--in the chest."

"How did you feel?"

"How do you think I felt? I had just found out that my best friend had been shot."

"Your best friend."

"Yes."

"But he's your boss."

"He can't be both?"

"That's a rather...unorthodox working relationship."

Donna let out a hallowed laugh. "Dr. Loyola, this is the White House."

Dr. Loyola nodded. "Fair enough. So you stayed in the hospital?"

"Yes."

"The records show that you signed in to see Mr. Lyman the night he was shot and didn't leave until he was put into a private room in April."

Donna blushed. That didn't sound good. "I left to get food and...stuff."

"But you were essentially at his side 24/7."

"He doesn't have anyone else."

Dr. Loyola looked at her notes. "His mother came to visit on March 31st, yet you stayed."

"Someone needed to make sure Mrs. Lyman was okay. I can't imagine it was easy to see her son in the condition that he was in, especially after all she's been through."

"Okay."

Donna shrugged. "I would have done it for any of my friends."

"Would you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I think that you wouldn't have."

Donna raised her eyebrow.

"Donna, I've done my research. I know that you haven't left his side since he was shot. Mr. McGarry told me that you have effectively become his nurse and live at his home and he at yours. Are you really going to sit here and tell me that Josh Lyman isn't more than your boss?"

"What do you want to know, Dr. Loyola? Are you hoping to find some scandal?"

"No, Donna. This isn't some political scheme. I'm not writing some expose. I'm just trying to help you and I can't do that if you're keeping things from me," Dr. Loyola said in her maddeningly calm voice.

There was silence as Donna thought. She didn't know this Dr. Loyola-sure, she looked nice but that didn't mean that she wouldn't call up the Washington Post the second Donna admitted that she had a thing for her boss and the administration would catch hell for it.

"I care for Josh a lot," Donna said in a low voice.

"I think that it's a little bit more than that, Donna."

"What do you want me to say, that I love Josh?"

"Do you?"

"Sure. In the same way that I love Sam and CJ and even Toby."

"But would you really be willing to drop everything to care of them as you were for Josh?"

"I'd come over with some chicken soup."

Dr. Loyola sighed. "Donna, here's what I think. I think that you love Josh in a romantic way. I think that when you heard that Josh was shot your entire world collapsed and you have been trying so hard to not face the fact that Josh means so much to you and it's become too much."

Donna shook her head, knowing that the words were true but still going with her gut instinct that she felt anything towards Josh.

"Oh please. You spent a month by his bedside. You're practically living with him. If you're going to sit here and tell me that you yelled at Leo McGarry just for the hell of it, then I might as well just leave right now, because we're going to get nowhere."

Donna said nothing, looking down at the table. Dr. Loyola sighed, getting up to leave.

"This conversation will not leave this room, right?"