Arashi stifled a groan as she caught sight of Hidan smiling at her.
"Now that we're all here, can we get our mission now?" Kakuzu asked.
Pein sat in his chair, "Yes, let's make this quick. You're mission is an assassination as well as a robbery. You are to kill this man-"He slid a photo over to Kakuzu. "And steal a scroll he is keeping that contains important data about a shady enemy of ours."
Arashi zoned out while Pein rambled on about the important data. Locations, guards, dangers, you know. She noticed that Hidan wasn't paying attention either. Poor Kakuzu. He has to put up with this guy every mission.
Arashi guessed he was finished when Kakuzu stood up. "Hurry up," the banker ordered, "We leave in ten minutes."
Kawauso yawned and watched Arashi herbs in her medicine pouch. "You could help, you know," the medic growled.
The otter sighed and began to pack up some weapons, "Better hurry up..." He snickered, "'Rashi."
Not him too. She finished packing and attached the pouch to her side, grabbing the weapons. "Don't get yourself killed!" Arashi called as she hurried out the door.
And ran right into Hidan. "You ready, bitch?"
Arashi groaned, "Like I've said, don't touch me."
They exited the base to meet Kakuzu waiting for them. "It's a long walk." He informed them. Arashi grinned and transformed to her phoenix form. Hidan's eyes grew wide.
"I won't torture you, now get on."
Kakuzu leaped onto her wing and sat cross legged on the base of her neck. Hidan hesitated before climbing on as well. Arashi flapped her wings and flew into the air. She could have sworn she saw blonde for a split second.
It was silent except for the wind whistling through the clouds. "The castle we will be infiltrating is located in the Land of Lightning." Kakuzu said. "That's pretty far from here, in case you didn't know, Arashi."
She narrowed her eyes. "Where exactly is this castle?"
"Up in the mountains near a wealthy village. It's quite a ways from Kumogakure," Kakuzu explained.
The phoenix surveyed the horizon. No mountains yet.
"We'll be staying in the village near the castle."
"Aw freaking sweet! Are we going to have a hotel, Kakuzu?" Hidan asked.
"No, hotels are too expensive."
Kakuzu pointed to a nearby forest, and Arashi landed in a clearing in the center. She transformed back to her human form as Hidan and Kakuzu began to set up camp.
"Kakuzu, you cheap asshole," Hidan groaned, "Can't you let us sleep in an f-ing hotel just once?"
The miser ignored him and began to make a fire. "Well, I don't mind." Arashi commented.
"You gotta be freaking kidding me. You don't mind being cramped up in a shitty little tent?" Hidan said.
Arashi climbed into a nearby tree, "No actually, I'm sleeping outside." She rolled her eyes at Hidan's stunned reaction. "The weather's nice. Kawauso and I used to sleep outside all the time, idiot."
Kakuzu started toward the pitched tent, "I'm going to bed."
Hidan, however, stayed. "Okay. I need to ask you a few freaking questions."
Arashi lay on her stomach on a large branch of the tree, "Ask away."
"First off, how the hell can you speak?"
Arashi flopped over to her back so that her arms and head were hanging upside down as she faced the Jashinist. "What? Am I not civilized enough to talk?"
"No. I mean, you were raised in a freaking forest."
Arashi sighed, "I learned by observing people in the village nearby."
"And if you were cut off from humans, how the hell did you learn ninja techniques?"
The medic swung herself off of the branch and landed next to Hidan. "I guess I should explain my whole background then. Okay. I was taken in by some animals while I was born. I learned to understand them, and when I got older, I observed some nearby villagers. The animals knew a few ninja dogs and cats. They taught me a few things and observed that my chakra had medic attributes. I later tried to do jutsus and came up with my whole DNA changer thing. That's when I met Kawauso. The ninja animals sent us off to get privately trained by their masters. I was going to be adopted when… I discovered my future families… Er… Eating habits."
Hidan raised a brow at this. Arashi continued, "And then Kawauso and I traveled place to place. We got stronger as we grew older, and now here I am, stuck with S-rank psychotic criminals. Joy."
"Hey, it's not that f-ing bad," Hidan protested. She glared at him. Her look silenced her.
"Well, I'm going to bed." Arashi declared and climbed up into her tree.
Arashi was very rudely awoken when Hidan pushed her out of the tree. She landed on the ground with a thud.
"Ugh. Why'd you do that?" Arashi demanded.
Hidan didn't answer. "We're going," Kakuzu told her. Wiping drool off of her mouth (ew…); Arashi followed him into the forest. Camp had already been packed up.
They began walking up a stone path that led uphill. Kakuzu had warned Arashi not to make any attention. A giant phoenix tends to cause attention.
A village nestled in between two gigantic mountains appeared. The buildings were all tall, but the castle they were after stood out among everything. It was big enough to challenge the mountains that rested beside it.
"Heavily armed," Kakuzu mumbled. Arashi noticed black shapes lined all around the castle walls. Guards, of course. Arashi grinned to herself, a strategy playing in her mind.
They entered the village. Most people ignored them as they passed, luckily. An occasional sparrow would flutter by and land on Arashi's shoulder before flying off again. A few people raised their eyebrows at this.
"We'll head straight to the castle's boundaries," Kakuzu whispered.
Arashi nodded, and then a smell hit her nostrils. A toothy grin showed up on her face, and in a second she was gone.
Twenty seconds later, there was a crash. Arashi had tipped over a trashcan and was eating its contents.
A few villagers stared; others grabbed their children and ran away.
Hidan and Kakuzu glared at her.
"… What? I'm hungry!" The medic protested. Hidan grabbed her arm and pulled her away.
They arrived at the castle wall momentarily and picked a hiding spot behind a large boulder.
"What the hell was that?" Hidan hissed. Arashi sighed, "Don't ask. Please don't ever bring it up either."
"Whatever. We need to get a strategy," Kakuzu said.
"I got one already. One of my transformations fits perfectly with this assignment." Arashi grinned widely. Her smile remained as cream fur replaced her skin and she shrunk in size. She became a weasel with black bands ringing its body and an Akatsuki bandanna tied around her neck.
Hidan snorted, "What's a little shitty weasel supposed to do?"
"Watch, Kakuzu, hand me the picture of the client." The miser slid the photo over. The weasel picked it up in her paws and examined it for a moment.
A smirk plastered her face. "I already know where he's hiding this scroll."
Hidan chuckled, "Oh?"
"Well, look at him. He's chubby, and look at his expression. Obviously, he lives with his mom, making him very insecure. The scroll must be of great value, correct? So he would always want it in his sight, since he is afraid that something will happen to it if he does not see the scroll twenty four seven. Therefore, he hides it in his room. He wants it to be close to him or someone he trusts. It could be in a safe behind a portrait, which is very cliché. Or it could be behind his bed. He always wants it in his sight. Am I clear?"
Kakuzu and Hidan stared.
"I'm a master thief in this form," Arashi explained.
"… Well. I guess we'll do the assassination then," Kakuzu stood up.
"And I'll take care of the scroll part, you can count on me." Arashi beamed.
Ten minutes later, the guards near the castle wall were killed, and the three Akatsuki were headed for the main gate.
The door was effortlessly broken thanks to Kakuzu's strength. Guards immediately rushed to meet them. Arashi, in her tiny weasel form, crouched to the ground and disappeared completely. She had camouflaged with her surroundings.
As the fighting broke out, weasel Arashi scurried between guard legs and through a hallway. Look for the big room where a spoiled boy would live, she thought to herself.
Arashi paused and pressed against a wall as several more guards ran past. I wonder how Hidan and Kakuzu are faring… Arashi slinked around the castle without making a sound.
At the end of a hallway were two massive white doors with golden handles. No doubt the client's room. She was about to break into it when she passed a room… filled… with… gold!
Piles and piles of it! Jewels! And they were shiny! Arashi shook her head. No! The mission… Mission… Gold… Scrap of paper… Gold…
"… Gold." Arashi said out loud. She pounced into the pile of the expensive stuff. She was swimming in it! Arashi placed the necklaces and bracelets on and stuffed the things she couldn't wear into her Akatsuki bandanna makeshift bag.
"Agh! I need more bags!" Arashi glanced around the room. Her beady eyes caught sight of a large bag already stuffed with gold. Probably about to move it somewhere before they came her. Arashi scurried over and froze.
"Ugh. No wait, I have to steal that stupid scroll." She sighed and slung the Akatsuki bag over her shoulder.
"Better than nothing." Using one hand, Arashi began to climb up the wall and onto the ceiling. She squeezed through a hole and made her way to the client's room.
She found the fat boy asleep on his bed. Her eye twitched. They were breaking into a castle to kill him, and he was here… asleep! Swearing under her breath, Arashi climbed from the ceiling back down to the floor.
Camouflaging instantly, the weasel made her way over to the bed. She glanced at the portrait facing across from the bed and smirked. Portrait of his mother? What a loser. She climbed up that wall and removed the portrait, setting it on the ground without a sound.
She knocked on the wall and pressed her ear against it. Hollow. Unsheathing her weasel claws, Arashi lashed the wallpaper of the room apart. There was the scroll, of course. Could she have been wrong?
She grabbed the scroll and landed on the floor. She placed her bag filled with treasures in her mouth and tied the scroll's string around her neck. Arashi stared at the client, who was snoring loudly. I should probably lead him out of her so we can kill him.
Arashi jumped onto the bed and stared at the man. She'd always wanted to do this. Rubbing her paws together, Arashi bounced on the man's freaking huge stomach. She sunk into the fat, but he awoke instantly.
"RAT!" He yelled.
"I'M A WEASEL YOU IDIOT!" Arashi yelled back through the Akatsuki bag's fabrics.
The client caught site of the scroll, "You talk? AND GIVE ME BACK THAT SCROLL."
"You'll have to chase me for it," Arashi wagged her tail at him and dashed off the bed and outside the room.
She scurried down the hall, hauling the bag of treasures in her mouth. Arashi glanced back, and sure enough the client was after her.
The stench of blood hit her weasel nostrils. The battle was just ahead. Grinning, Arashi sped up and made her way up the wall of the main room of the castle.
"The prince!" Someone cried.
"What is he doing here?"
The prince was out of breath. "The weasel! It has… the scroll."
Arashi cursed. The battlefield was littered with bodies. And limbs. … And blood, tons and tons of blood. She caught site of Hidan and Kakuzu, Kakuzu releasing his threads to attack the client. Hidan was clutching his scythe.
"A weasel? What weasel?" A guard asked. Seconds later his head was swiped clean off.
"Kakuzu!" Hidan yelled. The threads were unleashed in an instant, the prince dead.
Hidan sighed, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth, "Where the hell's Arashi?"
"I'm right here!" The weasel dislodged herself from the ceiling and landed on her paws to face the Akatsuki members.
"Good, now let's m- What's in the bag?" Kakuzu questioned. Arashi forced a smile, "It's nothing, let's get moving."
Kakuzu shrugged and started walking, Hidan following. Arashi changed back to her old form and-
… Arashi stared at her weasel body. Oh god. Let's try this again. She shut her eyes and concentrated. Breathing a sigh of relief, Arashi stood on her hind paws and…
Hind paws. "DAMN IT!" Hidan stopped and turned towards her, "Aren't you done with that shitty form?"
"HELL YES I AM." Arashi groaned, "But I'm stuck."
Hidan crouched down to look her in the eye. "Stuck?"
"Transformation lock. Sometimes, I get stuck in a form for a while," mumbled Arashi.
Before Hidan could get another word in, the floor lit up. They recognized at once that they were standing on a gigantic bomb seal.
The next second, the entire castle exploded. Dust clouded Arashi's vision as she dodged falling particles. Too late, however, one hit her on the head. Hard. In her tiny weasel form, she fell to the ground and passed out.
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah, I'm serious. I freaking heard it. It talks!"
"No way."
"Yeah! Look, it's awake."
Arashi groaned and opened her eyes. The room spun, but she recognized bars instantly. She glanced at herself. Still a weasel.
"Hey, little fellow. Wanna say something?" A man said. He leaned forward and peered into her cage. His breath stank of alcohol, and he had a fuzzy goatee.
"… Yuh." Arashi slurred, "You guyses sssuck."
He raised a brow. Another man gasped. "No way!"
"I know, right!"
"We could get paid millions!"
"Wait… Wut're gonna do wi' me?" Arashi mumbled.
"We're going to put you in show business!" The two men said together.
Arashi groaned. She was not going to like this.
Arashi blinked her eyes open. Her mind felt clear at last. She stood up, realizing quickly that she was still a weasel. Her treasure was gone as well. Arashi peered outside of her cage. It was still light out, but the sun was beginning to crawl lower in the sky.
Someone prodded her. "What now?" Arashi hissed. Goatee, at least that's what she will call him, smiled at her.
"Okay, time for your show."
Another man, this one with orange hair pulled in a ponytail, removed her from the cage and stuffed her in a bag.
"Hey! This is animal abuse!" Arashi protested.
"Okay, when I give the signal, I want you to make a big entrance."
Arashi sighed and curled into a ball. Show business. Never saw that one coming.
Arashi felt herself being set down on something.
"Ladies and gentleman!" Goatee announced, "I present you…THIS!"
Arashi quickly camouflaged as soon as the bag was emptied. The crowd remained silent. Arashi held back a snicker at the look at Ponytail and Goatee's faces. Now to make her escape-
WAIT! Her eyes caught something shiny. Oh my god. These guys were RICH! And full of money, too.
If she could get her paws on it, it was worth it. She changed her colors so that she became a pink weasel that seemed to randomly appear in front of the crowd.
The crowd gasped, and then burst into applause. Arashi bowed, "Thank you!"
They broke out in cheers. She caught site of a few digging their pockets for… what else? Money! Disappearing, she snatched coins and set them in a hole in the ground.
Arashi reappeared and smirked at a few confused faces. Oh, this is so worth it. Forget about escaping. She had found a bunch of suckers to steal from.
…
But what about "home"?