"YOU WHAT? (hmm?)" The entire base yelled.
"HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO F-ING TELL YOU?!" Hidan yelled.
"We lost Arashi in the explosion, "Kakuzu explained again.
"And you didn't look for her?" Kawauso demanded.
"Well, damn otter. My limbs were f-ing all over the place. The stitched dumbass had to put me back together." Hidan snapped.
"We found her bandanna, but that's it… And it's full of gold." Kakuzu examined as he emptied the contents.
"Gah! We have to go after her!" Kawauso said.
"Who freaking cares?" Hidan growled, though he regretted the whole incident. He tried not to show it.
"Arashi is… or was a vital part of out team. She is Akatsuki's medic. I agree with Kawauso, we should at least look for her body," Pein stated.
"But how the hell do we know she's still f-ing alive?" Hidan asked.
"Well duh, she was a weasel when you last saw her," pointed out Kawauso. The other members stared questionably. The otter sighed, "Her weasel form's not only a thief, but an escape artist with incredible evasiveness techniques. Her small size would make it easy to squeeze through rock piles or dodge falling rocks and escape. So she is most likely alive. I volunteer to go look for her."
He grabbed his battleaxe what sat on the floor beside him. He set it on his back and began walking out of the base. No one stopped him.
He was grumbling to himself when he walked outside. The sun was setting in the distance. Caught up in his thoughts, he ran right into Deidara.
"Thought you would need a ride, hmm," the artist explained and motioned toward the bird who was awaiting take-off.
Kawauso flashed the sculptor a smirk.
"Are we almost there, Deidara?" Kawauso called over the roar of the wind whipping past them.
"I see mountains, hmm. Yeah, we're getting close!" Deidara replied. Moments later, the bird landed and disappeared with a puff of smoke. Deidara landed on his feet while Kawauso flopped onto his back.
"… You're pretty clumsy, hmm." Deidara commented.
"I'm built for water… HMM!" Kawauso retorted while mocking Deidara's speech. Deidara narrowed his eyes.
"Come on. It's getting late." They entered the village gates in silence. Stars lit up the black night sky as the two wandered. The village was everything but quiet. There were ninja everywhere, all investigating the exploded castle.
"Don't attract attention, hmm," Deidara hissed to Kawauso. They approached the scene of the crime.
"You two! Stay back!" A ninja called.
"Hey, what happened here?" asked Kawauso.
"You don't know?" The ninja said.
"We were just stopping by, hmm." Deidara told him.
"A robbery and a murder. Survivors say two guys snuck in and caused this. Then the castle blew up and we never found the culprits. We're still looking."
Deidara nodded, "We'll leave you alone, hmm." While they left, Kawauso sighed with relief, "At least we know where not to look. She's definitely alive out there, some…" He paused. "…where."
Deidara raised an eyebrow, "What?" Kawauso gestured towards a brightly colored sign.
'The Amazing Super Weasel' and underneath it 'This way! -'
"Arashi has a weasel form, doesn't she?" Deidara asked.
"Yep." The otter replied.
"Shit." The said together.
---
Arashi spun the tiny rice ball on the tip of her nose. She flung it into the air and snapped the food up. The weasel bowed to the applauding crowd.
More and more people were showing up. More money for Goatee, but even more for her. She snickered to herself as she prepared to perform her last act of the night.
Reality hit her. She'd have to leave after this. No more suckers lining up begging for performances and leaving with half of their money. She sighed as Goatee and his partner began to set up rings.
Oh joy, what was she going to do now? Arashi yawned. All the tricks that she had performed were simple. People just thought that animals were too "stupid" to do anything other than eat and crap.
She sniggered as she thought of how stupid people could be at times.
Like throwing out stale food.
What a waste.
"Okay, folks. This is the weasel's final performance of the night!" Goatee announced. Arashi guessed that she was going to have to jump through the rings or something. She sat a few feet away from the first one.
Goatee smiled down at her.
And lit the ring on fire.
The crowd grew hush as he lit the other ones. The rings where big enough for a cat to squeeze through. Squeeze. With trouble. In other words, Arashi could become a living fireball if she dared try to leap through the ring of fire.
FREAKING AWESOME.
Arashi dashed forward and leaped through the first one. The flames tickled her underbelly, but didn't singe her. The crowd burst into cheers after she cleared the first one.
The next was cleared without injury. Soon she had leaped through all of them. The crowd clapped ferociously.
Until Arashi realized her tail was on fire.
The crowd stopped clapping at once.
"EUUGH! HOTHOTHOTHOT!" Arashi screeched and ran around in circles. The tail-fire expanded.
Hm. Now she could make an escape.
Arashi raced into the crowd without bumping into anyone. Guess they're afraid of being burnt.
She winced as the smell of burnt fur reached her nostrils. This may be bad. She should probably put it out now.
Arashi heard a shout. She swiveled her head around to see Goatee and Ponytail running after her. Oh hell no.
She quickened her pace, forgetting about her tail engulfed in flames. The voices died away, she assumed she lost them.
Pain erupted from her tail. She skidded to a stop and realized that it was pure fire. Oh right.
As she turned to look away from the fire, she felt water engulf her tail and put the fire out. The sudden coolness shocked her so much that she jumped forward into someone's arms.
It also shocked her enough that her transformation lock wore off in mid air, and she had tumbled into that someone's arms in her human form.
"… Well that was easy, hmm."
Arashi groaned, too tired to pull away from Deidara's grip.
"You're welcome," Kawauso called.
"Nng." was Arashi's reply.
"… Uh. Does anyone want to get something to eat, hmm?" Deidara asked to break the awkward silence.
"ME!" Kawauso and Arashi said at once, Arashi pulling away from Deidara. "Quick, Kawauso," Arashi ordered, "Find the nearest ramen shop!"
"I think I saw one on the way here. Hurry!" The otter turned and ran down the street. Arashi grabbed Deidara's arm and pulled him along.
When they had wandered out of site, "Goatee" and "Ponytail" peeked from behind a mossy rock.
"Is that her, Tenshinhige?" "Ponytail" asked.
"Yeah, Sagegami, that's her."
They formed a hand sign. In a puff of smoke, there were two different men behind the rock.
Goatee, or Tenshinhige, had grown light green hair in a spiked style complete with a matching goatee. Ponytail, or Sagegami, now had black hair pulled in a long ponytail that touched his shoulders. Each had Kumogakure headbands… with a slash through it.
"You were right about the weasel after all," Sagegami whispered.
"Have I ever been wrong? Sagegami, soon Arashi Fenikkusu's powers will be in our lord's grasp."
The two men broke out in quiet laughter.
(NOTE: Arashi was right about their names. Tenshinhige means goatee in Japanese and Sagegami means ponytail! … If you were wondering, Arashi means storm and Kawauso means otter.)
---
Arashi buried her face in her ramen bowl and slurped up the contents. "Oh man," she gasped, "I'd forgotten how hungry I've been."
Kawauso licked the sides of his bowl and asked for another. Deidara sighed as the waitress set down another bowl.
"… Could we possibly get moving, hmm?" Deidara groaned.
"Sure, sure. After this bowl." Kawauso promised.
Sure enough, they were soon out of the ramen stand. Full and in Deidara's case- broke.
"Hey, thanks, Dei-chan for the dinner." Kawauso chirped as they walked to exit the village.
"Hmm." Deidara snorted at the nickname. Arashi raised an eyebrow as they exited the village.
"Oh, hey. Did Hidan and Kakuzu make it out?" Arashi asked the artist.
He nodded, "Yeah. They have the scroll, don't worry, hmm."
Arashi stared at him. "… What, hmm?" Her eye twitched slightly, "Why do you keep saying 'hmm'?"
"That's what I wanna know!" Kawauso put in.
He stared back at her, "Habit." Arashi rolled her eyes and walked in silence.
Deidara broke it, "Hey… Arashi."
Before she could answer, a large hand composed of mist erupted from the ground and nearly smashed them.
"The hell?" Kawauso gasped, gripping his battleaxe in both paws. Deidara's palm-mouths began chewing clay.
A laugh, two actually, rang through the forest. Arashi recognized the voices instantly. She groaned.
Tenshinhige and Sagegami floated on top of a cloud. "You know these guys?" Deidara hissed.
Arashi nodded, "Thought I'd lost them. They're the ones who captured me when I was a weasel."
Deidara felt a prick on his neck. He blinked, but immediately refocused on the battle that was about to begin.
"Kawauso!" Arashi called. "I know I'm on it." Arashi grinned, "Okay, Deidara stand back. We got this covered."
The sculptor nodded and took a few steps backwards. He watched as Arashi's legs and neck grew and her skin turn translucent. She transformed to the glass giraffe. The giraffe glanced at the ninja and shivered.
"Don't chicken out on me yet!" Kawauso called. He set down his battleaxe, and water began to leak from his fur.
Suddenly, the liquid exploded, and Kawauso's body was now completely composed of water. His body was also dragon-like, giving him the appearance of, well, an otter dragon. He smirked at Arashi.
"R-right!" Arashi closed her blue eyes. From her glass body, mirrors formed and began to float around her.
"Ready!" Arashi called with a little more confidence.
Tenshinhige and Sagegami didn't waste time. A few hand signs and the cloud they were standing on turned into tiny balls. The balls lit up with electricity and hurled towards Kawauso.
"Arashi!" The otter dragon called.
"I know!"
The mirrors whipped forward in a straight line, battering the mist balls backwards. They exploded on contact. The duo smirked.
"Not too shabby," Tenshinhige complimented.
The mirrors lashed out and tossed him to the ground. The goatee ninja landed on his feet, skidding backwards. Kawauso appeared behind him. He transformed a massive liquid paw to ice and slashed Tenshinhige across the face. Kawauso froze his other paw and pinned the rouge ninja to the ground.
Tenshinhige squirmed, but with no avail. "Sagegami!"
Said ninja appeared behind Arashi. He drew a sword from his belt. It sparked with electricity. Sagegami held it above his head and charged.
The mirrors whipped forward just in time to block the sword. The electricity from the sword was enough to break the blocking mirror.
Glass shards littered the ground as each mirror exploded, until none remained. Shaking, Arashi in her timid giraffe state stared at the swordsmen.
He grinned, "Die."
Sagegami through the sword into the air. The electricity from it engulfed it until it was completely composed of it. Sagegami created a hand sign, and multiple electric swords appeared. They flung themselves towards Arashi.
Suddenly, mirrors appeared and formed a circle around the swords. They bounced of the mirrors until they all crashed in the center of the mirror circle. Their energy began to gather. Arashi controlled the mirrors so that the tossed the growing ball of electricity at Sagegami.
He smirked and leaped out of the way. He landed next to Tenshinhige, watching as the ball harmlessly moved by.
Kawauso released his grip on Tenshinhige just as a mirror reflected the ball and sent it towards the ninja. The transformed otter ran to Arashi's side as the electric ball exploded. The duo changed back to their original forms and covered their faces.
When the smoke cleared, Arashi trotted over to stare into the small crater was formed. No bodies, only a note. Kawauso picked up the scrap of paper and read it out loud:
"We'll be back." The three simple words were enough to make Arashi shiver. "We'll, they're gone now. Let's go."
She and Kawauso jumped out of the crater and towards Deidara. "No bodies, hmm?" He asked them. Arashi closed her eyes and nodded, "Let's get out of here and take a break for the night."
The other two agreed and began walking away from the battle scene. A light drizzle started. Arashi snarled to herself and quickened her pace. Kawauso, however, decided to skip through the rainfall. Stupid otter.
Deidara stopped suddenly and groaned while clutching his head. Arashi stopped and raised an eyebrow, "What?"
The artist shook his head, "Nothing, hmm, just tired." Arashi wasn't convinced.
"Kawauso, go on and search for a shelter. Come back for us, we'll be right here," she ordered. The otter glanced at both of them, smirked, and dashed off.
Arashi glared at him as he left and moved Deidara out of the rain and underneath a tree. He grunted and sat down, Arashi kneeling beside him.
"What's wrong?" The medic asked again.
"Nothing, just a headache, hmm." Arashi sighed and rolled her eyes, "A headache is something," she mumbled as she untied his headband. She reached to touch his forehead. Deidara blushed and pulled back. "Hold still," Arashi hissed. She placed her hand on his forehead. "You're burning up," Arashi noted.
Deidara pulled away from her and turned around. The medic saw something flicker on his neck. She leaned closer and touched it. "Ow." Deidara grunted. It was a needle. She gently removed it from his skin. "OW!" Deidara whirled around to glare at her. "Arashi, hmm. What… did… you do? … ow…hmm." Deidara's voice faltered and he grabbed his head, holding it.
Arashi glanced at him, then the needle. "Poison." She confirmed. At once, she changed to her snake formed and picked the needle up between his teeth. One of her tongues flicked the point of it, tasting the poison.
"Shoot. This is a fast working one. Starts out slow, picks up speed, then you're dead." She cackled. Deidara groaned louder. The snake hissed and curled her body around Deidara's torso.
"Now Deidara, this is only going to hurt… a lot." She opened her jaw and sunk her fangs into Deidara's neck. He moaned in pain. Arashi sighed and proceeded to suck the poison from Deidara's system. The sculptor moaned louder.
The serpent hissed at him to shut up, "The poison is almost out…sadly." She snickered to herself. Finally, she tasted no more poison in his bloodstream and released Deidara.
She lay on top of him as she transformed back to her human state. "Arashi…" Deidara moaned. The shinobi rolled her eyes, "Oh please, it wasn't that bad."
Kawauso appeared. He had heard moaning, Arashi's name, and now Arashi was on top of Deidara. He stared.
"… I uh… found you a cave." The otter murmured. Arashi traced Kawauso's thoughts, blushed, and jumped off of Deidara.
"Let's go, I'm exhausted." She ordered. Deidara groaned and struggled to his feet. "Kawauso, lead the way. And by the way, Deidara was poisoned, and I was removing it. Don't even think about going there."
The otter snickered and led them to a cave. Deidara followed far behind, hoping not to get on Arashi's nerves.
The cave already had a fire going, and was dry from the rain. Arashi yawned, pulling off her soaked Akatsuki cloak and laying it by the fire. She curled up on the fabric and shut her eyes.
The last thing she heard was Kawauso congratulating Deidara, but she was too tired to kill him.
---
Arashi awoke in an awkward position. Her face rested on Deidara's chest, and his arms were wrapped around her.
She pulled away from him immediately, her sudden movement awakening the artist. He opened the eyes, realized the position, and yanked himself away to wake up Kawauso.
Arashi shivered and noted that light was filtering from the cave entrance. She watched Kawauso groggily stand up. The next second, a clay bird appeared in front of her. Deidara climbed aboard it.
"Well, are you coming, hmm?" He inquired. Arashi sneered, "I can fly myself."
"Eh. I wouldn't push it," Kawauso warned, "A giant phoenix is a lot flashier than a clay bird."
He was right, so Arashi climbed on top of the bird. Moments later they gained altitude and where soaring through the clouds.
Kawauso immediately fell asleep. Deidara stared at him.
"He's tired," Arashi explained.
Deidara nodded and fell silent for a while. The wind whistled as they glided by.
"… Arashi, hmm…" Deidara grumbled. She shifted her attention from the sky to the artist. "What?"
"… What do you… think of me, hmm?"
His questioned left her silent.
Finally: "Dunno."
"A little more specific please, hmm."
"… Fine. You're better than Hidan. Is that good enough for you?"
"What? Really, hmm?" Deidara turned around, "You really mean it, hmm?"
Arashi stared at him, "… Uh… why?"
Deidara blushed and focused back on flying. Arashi sighed, "Okay fine. You're kinda cute. A little."
Deidara didn't meet her gaze, "Whatever, hmm."
Arashi wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, "Fine. Maybe you're really cute."
Still no answer.
The medical ninja shot a glance at Kawauso. He was still sleeping. "Well then, in that case…" Arashi turned Deidara around so that he was facing her. She leaned in closer and gently kissed his lips.
Deidara pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. Arashi moved her arms around the artist's neck. Finally, they broke apart.
"That good enough?" Arashi asked. Deidara beamed and pulled her onto his lap, "No, hmm." Arashi chuckled and rested her head on his chest.
Kawauso awoke about an hour later, saw Deidara and Arashi snuggling, decided he was dreaming, and fell back asleep.