A/N 1: WARNING: MPREG THEMES ESPECIALLY HIGH HERE. Okay so hopefully ya'll read the summary and already know it's Mpreg, so you won't be squicked out. So honestly, I'm kind of annoyed with myself. This chapter is all over the place, trust me.

Oh, and I'm actually debating not having Alec pregnant, just because it's kind of too unrealistic and I can't think of a reasonable explanation why. Will you guys be okay with a pretty unexplained reason to why he is this way? If not, if enough people don't want him preggers I won't make him preggers. If you do want him pregnant, can you give me some reasons why? Thanks :)

MAGNUS IS BACK.

(Super long Author's note sorry)

When Alec woke up again, it was dark. It was dark, and he couldn't see anything. The light streaming from the gap between the curtains did nothing to calm his growing unease. He felt fuzzy, as he usually does after waking up. But it was different, in a way. It felt almost unreal, like it was a dream. Was he dead?

Is he in hell? Because there's no way this is heaven. There's no way an abomination like him would make it to heaven. His heart twisted, if this was hell, it sure was a far cry from the eternal burning bullshit his parents fed him. It was almost peaceful, in a somber, depressed way. Like the way Max looked in the casket. He looked asleep, but Alec knew better.

Then things started getting clearer and he realized he wasn't dead. He was still in the Infirmary, and it was weird how he wasn't okay with that. He wasn't okay with being in the Infirmary, wasn't okay with being alive. Death would be too easy. Alec felt like those angsty teenagers he always resented. But he didn't feel like writing sad poetry, or dye his hair or listen to shrieking music. He just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

He sighed, sitting up. He expected the sharp ache that started just at the top of his stomach and reached his pelvic bones in a single zap of pain. But nothing came. He felt normal. Alec bent over and still felt no pain. He leaned forward slightly and still no pain. He tried standing up on shaky legs from misuse and still no pain. He's better?

The Shadowhunter sighed in relief. He was better. Alec took a few steps, feeling a bit like Bambi. Then he sat down again. He wondered what Magnus was doing, if he was missing him, if he was eating well. Then his heart started hurting in that incessant ache that felt like a fog that will never be lifted. Alec pressed a hand to his chest, hoping for it to go away.

It was weird. This entire time, maybe even unconsciously, Alec thought with his stomach pains gone, maybe the pain in his heart would go too. But it didn't, because that would be too merciful.

Alexander. You have awoken. A voice shrunk out through the dark clouds already filling Alec's mind. Looking up, Alec saw Brother Zachariah in the typical Silent Brother robes, standing off to the side.

Alec slowly nodded, feeling cautious and a little sick of being in such a cramped quarter. "Did you figure out what's wrong with me?" He asked, and if he was honest with himself, he didn't really care. Because he would never be better, never be able to heal or cure the pain that hurt the most, the pain in his heart.

No. It seems to be much more than a common stomach ache. There is something wrong, Alexander. Very wrong.

"Don't call me Alexander. That's not who I am. I'm Alec!" Alec hissed suddenly, feeling very sick of his life. He had so many things happen to him, and he didn't know how much he could take before he collapsed.

The Silent Brother cocked an eyebrow in curiosity, and it just looked terrifying. There is something wrong, Alexander.

"What? What is wrong?" Alec snapped harshly, and he felt happy in a strange way. He wasn't behaving like the shell of a person he felt like.

We have discovered a small, Brother Zachariah paused, object that has attached itself to your abdominal wall.

Alec was frozen. Object? Like tumor? "I... Am I going to be alright?" He asked, voice shaky. He was almost scared to hear the answer.

We are not quite sure yet. It could be nothing, or of course, it could be something.

Alec swallowed. "When will you be sure? What's happening to me?" Alec asked panicky.

We will monitor this object. If it continues to grow and cause pain, there is a very likely chance that it can be life threatening.

Life threatening. All those times Alec just wished it would all end, was becoming a reality. And he was terrified. He thought of Isabelle and how she reacted when she thought he was dead. He thought of Jace and how angry he was at the people who basically raised him, just because of him. He didn't want to go, not like this.

Go find your Warlock, Alexander. He will be far more adept at this, and will give you answers we can not.

Your Warlock. Except he wasn't Alec's Warlock. Wasn't Alec's anything.

It does not matter what he is to you, child. Go to him as a client if you need to.

So Alec nodded shakily, not knowing what to say. "Fine. Jus- Just don't tell anyone about my," Alec paused, looking for the word, "Condition, alright? I feel fine, if there is something wrong, I will tell them later." No need to worry them now, he wanted to focus on healing his family first, not having them fuss over him.

The Silent Brother nodded, and with a last wayward glance, he disappeared, leaving only darkness.

Tiredness. Alec felt weary, his bones aching. He felt far older than his twenty two years, and his heart felt heavy in his chest. What is wrong with him? How did this happen? Is it cancer? So many questions that Alec didn't have answers to flooded his mind. But one thing he was sure of, he didn't want to die. Not yet. Not when his life's greatest mistake was yet to be fixed. Magnus.

Then he heard footsteps. A heavy irregular paced stomp that was strangely graceful sounding was Jace. Sharp clicking of strong legs in Isabelle's high heels. Soft skips that belonged to Clary's canvas sneakers.

Alec was tired. He was bone-tired and he was sick of having the short end of the stick all time. But still, life goes on, day by day, minute by minute. What Alec would do to just freeze time for once.

Isabelle was truly a daughter of Maryse. She looked exactly like her mother, based on the pictures from her mother's younger days. And usually, she was fine with it. Her mom was a total MILF, anyways, right? But the more she looked in the mirror, the more she hated it. She hated her jawline, which was the same sharp angle as her mothers. She hated the shape of her eyes, and the shape of her nose.

Because it was like looking right back into her mother's eyes. Isabelle used to love looking into the mirror, loved her cool dark brown eyes and her long dark hair. She was hot, she knew that. But now, looking in the mirror was like looking right back at her mother. She saw her mother's cold unloving eyes, and no matter how much she tried to soften them, to pore love into them, the still looked just as cold and distant, even if they were a different color.

She huffed in frustration, causing an alarmed glance from her siblings. She just turned right back into the mirror and tried focusing on the things that didn't look like her mother. All she got was an almost faded birthmark just under her ear.

"Vain, much?" Jace teased from the chair by Alec's bedside. She turned back around angrily.

"Shut it, Jace. Tell me again how long it takes you to get ready in the morning?" Isabelle snapped back and saw Clary look up curiously. "So, you don't just wake up like that?" She asked and Jace sputtered slightly.

"Of course I do, sweetheart. Don't pay attention to that crazy lady over there." Jace cooed indignantly, earning a laugh from Alec.

"You are such a douchebag, Jace." Isabelle snickered, shaking her head. Jace frowned at that, faced drooped into a sickeningly adorable pout.

"Allie-bear?" He called Alec childishly, eyes big and pout still in place.

"Jacie-poo?" Alec responded, voice sweet as if talking to a baby. It felt good to joke, and laugh. It's been a while. A longass while of pain and tears.

"I'm sexy right?" Jace blinked owlishly back at Alec, and Isabelle felt insane laughter bubble up. Her family was back, they were all happy.

"Of course, honey. Just fix that saggy ass of yours." Alec murmured back sweetly, hand coming up to pinch Jace's tan cheek. If it was seventeen year old Alec, his heart would be fluttering and he would be stuttering. But it's not. Alec was genuinely happy that his feelings for Jace were seemingly gone, it pushed down a barrier that separated them from being true siblings.

Jace pulled away roughly, almost knocking over a lamp in the process. "Are you kidding me, Alec? My ass is so perky, you could bounce a quarter off this fine rump." Jace stood up and caressed his 'fine rump' lovingly, "See?" he shook it again in front of Alec, who rolled his eyes and looked away.

A quarter flew from Isabelle's hand and with superhuman precision, smacked Jace right in the middle of his forehead. "Ouch, what was that for?" The blond Shadowhunter whined immaturely, rubbing a hand on his injury.

"You said I could bounce a quarter off your ass, right?" Isabelle asked innocently, eyes fluttering playfully. She could hear Clary's loud guffaws and Alec's low chortle.

"I said my ass, not my face!" Jace snapped, glaring at Isabelle in annoyance. Isabelle just rolled her eyes and flipped her long black hair over her shoulder.

"Oops, couldn't tell the difference." Isabelle's voice was an apologetic monotone, but not for long. Her laughs were loud and uncaring, and it felt weird, in a good way. She couldn't remember the last time she let herself laugh so carefree and happy after Alec went missing.

Clary's laughter grew louder, tears threatening to spill over in happiness. Alec just grinned, but it looked kind of sad and nostalgic.

Jace huffed and looked away grumbling incoherently, smile in place the entire time.

Her family was back, and looking around the room, she didn't feel the longing and restlessness she felt the past year. She didn't feel like she had a phantom limb anymore, she felt whole. Even when there were still pieces missing from the family, she could feel it getting better, minute by minute.

The sun was shining high in the air by the time Magnus awoken from his slumber. He yawned, turning around expecting to see the back of a certain black haired Shadowhunter. He was met by a giant, empty expanse of pastel yellow, and not a pale brunette in sight.

Rolling till he was on Alec's part of the bed, he hoped for warmth that told that his Shadowhunter had come to bed, but again was met with cold, smooth silk.

Frowning, the Warlock got up and stretched, pulling the gold and black robe tighter against his body to fight the slight chilliness. He looked around the apartment, hoping for the smell of freshly-brewed coffee and cat food in the Chairman's dish. Neither of which were there. Where had Alec gone? Then, he remembered. The fight. The slamming of the bedroom door. Alec's face.

Bitter regret flooded Magnus for a second, but then it was gone. Alexander hadn't been his to worry about for a long time. Thinking of Alec didn't seem to put that pounding sensation in his heart, didn't make familiar happiness bubble up like it use to.

Magnus had been walking the planet for many, many years. He's seen the fall of civilizations, seen the world's greatest artworks, been with men, women, and several types of Downworlders. He's been around the world more times than he can count, he tried his hand at several different professions just in the pursuit of enthusiasm, of happiness and of not being bored.

He's been with his Shadowhunter for years, and that was a lot to the Warlock. Those years were special to him, treasured memories that stood out against his decades of existing. But the more he thought about the possibilities of others, who lived interesting lives, who didn't push to know more and more about his past the more he convinced himself he was bored. It wasn't real boredom, he just knew that was what he was supposed to feel.

The Magnus Bane he knew himself to be would never be tied down for more than a couple months, at most. Then he would feel bored. But he wasn't bored, not at all.

Then Alec hadn't been so special anymore. The years he spent with him were honestly the happiest times in his extremely long life. And that was scary, it was scarier than anything he's ever seen or felt. He was plagued with thoughts of how he was going to survive if, no, when his beloved passed on. Left him.

He wasn't used to thinking so far into the future. His flings in the past were always casual, and the one or two that did matter, he didn't think about anything except the present. He was immortal, why would he care about the future if he had all the time in the world to fix whatever mistake he made?

Magnus was scared of being bored. He was used to having multiple relationships at the same time, one person could never be enough to satisfy the Warlock's tastes. But then he met Alexander, and everything seemed to change. Everything he ever wanted was found in Alec, and that was terrifying.

He could feel himself flowing back into old habits: flirting, dancing a little too close to someone at a party, dirty texts sent in the middle of the night with Alec lying right next to him. And it just made him feel frustrated, and hollower than before. He could see Alec breaking in front of him, and he knew it was all his fault. And when he hears Alec crying next to him as he pressed send on his high tech phone, it sent his heart clutching pathetically at nothing.

"Alexander, what's wrong?" He hasn't called him that in a long time. It sounded foreign and fake, even to his own ears. He rolled over and saw Alec's shaking frame facing away from him.

"I got kicked out. Jace and Isabelle, they don't- they don't want me back." His voice was broken with tears and he realized this was the first time he heard his shadowhunter cry. It didn't suit his tough Nephillim, not at all. He doesn't know what to do, it's an alien feeling. So he just pulled him closer and held him.

He never wanted to see Alec in that kind of pain again, so when Jace and Isabelle knock on his door two days later, he tells them Alec's not home. He doesn't want his Shadowhunter any more hurt by this than what he already has. Little did Magnus know, it just hurt him more.

Looking around the empty apartment, he felt a strange, unusual pining. He was scared of Alec dying, so he pushed him away from his heart, and it was selfish. He knew it was selfish, especially when he heard Alec's sobs when he thought no one was listening. But it was for the good of the both of them, push Alec away further and further till he gets sick of the Warlock and leaves. But at least Magnus can feel bitter and move on. If Alec died, Magnus couldn't blame anyone, and he couldn't fix it. And so what if Magnus doesn't want to move on, so what if all he ever wanted and needed in his life was Alec?

Especially because Magnus knew his time with Alec was to be cherished, to be spent happily, he couldn't stop thinking about how he will be after Alec died.

It would save them both the heartache if they just ended it now. But Magnus knew he could never end it. He could never bear to see the hurt on Alec's face, could never see the tearful eyes begging him to take him back. He would take Alec back, and that would defeat the entire purpose. If living on earth 800 years taught him anything, it was to protect yourself.

So Magnus insults Alec. He pushes him away. He pretends to get caught 'cheating'. He wanted Alec to break up with him, to be so fed up with him and just leave. And after every fight, Magnus turns his head a little to see if his Shadowhunter is in bed, and after every fight, he's always there making Magnus feel relief and happiness.

But then he's not there this morning, and Magnus was panicked. Had his Shadowhunter really had enough? Is he really gone? Magnus wanted to scream in frustration, even though this is what he wanted, what he made himself want.

He called Alec a grand total of 23 times before he even got dressed. He texted him while tugging on a random sparkly outfit. He emailed him having a bite of breakfast. Nada, nada, nada. So he tracks him, and he's in the Institute. Confusion was clouding his mind, confusion and relief. Alec's okay. And before he could think, he was already out the door. He just needed to see his Shadowhunter, that's all he could think of.

"Alec's asleep." Isabelle whispered, closing the door gently to said Shadowhunter's room. She turned to face Jace, who was a couple steps away from her. He nodded, clutching a bag of McDonald's to his chest.

"I told you to go buy him a nutritional meal, and you come back with that garbage?" Isabelle laughed, walking down the corridor away from the Infirmary, Jace followed her frowning.

"Hey! Trust me sweetheart, it's better than your cooking. Much, much better." Jace muttered darkly, smirking at the dark look Isabelle threw at him.

"Shut your mouth. So what should we do?" Isabelle asked as they turned a corner into the residential part of the Institute. She turned to face Jace, who seemed very intent on texting. "Who are you texting?"

"Clary, she ran to some Mundie store to buy coffee for Alec, y'know how he gets all grumpy without his coffee." Jace replied, slipping his phone back into his pocket. "So what should we do about what?" He asked as they opened the door to the kitchen. Jace was admittedly a bit worried they might run into them, but Isabelle, ever the spitfire, wasn't.

"Our parents, Jace! And Alec, I'm really worried about him. What if he doesn't get better? What if something's seriously wrong with him?" Isabelle griped, sitting down on one of the spinny-stool-thingies they kept at the kitchen island.

Jace frowned. "Don't call them our parents, Isabelle. They're not our parents, look at what they did to our family!"

"I know, Jace. I can't believe they would do this to Alec, to us. I can't look at them. I hate them so much, and I really don't want to. I wish they didn't do this to us, I wish our family was still together." Isabelle said with a hint of anger and sadness lacing her words. She stood up to look at the yearly Christmas photo from several years ago the Lightwood family took every year since Jace came to the Institute.

"But we are still together, Izz. Alec's back. And honestly, our 'parents' haven't been family for a long time. We still are a family, even if we've lost another two members." Jace replied, a peaceful half-smile on his tanned face.

"How are you so calm about this? I can't even think about them without wanting to tear their heads off. Do you see Alec, Jace? I thought he was sad-looking before, now look at him! He looks like he wants to cry all the time! Can you see him like that and not feel angry? Alec, Jace! Alec doesn't cry. He gets pissed and bitchy and moody, but he doesn't cry."

Isabelle is staring more intently into the family picture now, her back facing Jace. Their parents were staring straight into the camera, a genuine small smile on Robert's face and a huge mirthful laughing smile on her mother's. Alec and Jace were play fighting, Jace's fist lodged in Alec's hair. Both had smiles from ear-to-ear. Isabelle was looking at them and grinning, and Max stood before her, a shy smile poking out, looking adorable with his oversized glasses and happy flush.

She picked it up from the place on the wall, and traced a finger through all of the Lightwood children's faces. They were happy, truly and genuinely happy. Alec, didn't look much older than thirteen or fourteen, unplagued with the struggles of his sexuality, was smiling, and she wanted that for her brother. Wanted him to be happy.

Jace, her adoptive brother who has turned to someone she loved more than the people she had direct blood relations to. Family isn't always defined by blood, as they say. She was thankful for Jace.

Max. Her heart sped up at the mention of her brother, the wound still fresh even though it was several years since he passed. It was strange to think of her brother's death. Because it brought the same emotions to her as her parents' betrayal. Anger, pain, sadness. Because Isabelle knew, in her heart of heart's, her parents were dead, in all senses that counted.

"I know Isabelle, don't you think I know that! I'm not calm, I'm not calm at all! There are no words for how much I hate them. I hate what they did to Alec, but honestly, I'm happy too. I'm happy they revealed their true colors, because now, I know what family really is.

My parents, whether it was them, or the Herondales, or even Valentine was supposed to protect me. They're my parents. But over and over, they failed at that. I really wanted Robert and Maryse to be the ones that proved me wrong, and I thought they did. I thought they loved me. But now, I realize I don't need that. I realize that you, Alec, Clary are my family. I don't need anything else, I'm not missing anything. They're not my parents anymore."

Jace's words warmed her heart. "You're the only family I have left, Jace. You and Alec." Isabelle said, and it sent chills down Jace's back for an unknown reason.

And with those words that screamed finality, Isabelle threw the picture on the floor, watching the glass break into tiny shards that decorated the tile floor of the kitchen. Because that's not her family anymore, her family will never be that anymore.

"Ever the little drama queen, Izz." Jace's voice still held none of the teasing his words held.

"I'm leaving, Jace. I can't be here anymore, I'm suffocating." Isabelle said, and Jace's heart clenched painfully. "Everything reminds me of what our family used to be. And that's not what I need right now. I need a fresh start, away from all of this."

Jace took a deep breath, looking up with those chilling eyes, right into Isabelle's seductive chocolate brown eyes. "Okay, Izz. But I'm coming with you."

"Isabelle, can you go get my keys? It's on the desk in Alec's room!" Jace called from his room.

"Yeah, no problem!" Isabelle shouted back, feet already moving down the familiar hallway the Lightwoods resided in.

Reaching the room, she turned the handle to be met with Alec's phone going off in response to a call. She ran to pick it up, and saw a name that sent her heart beating harder in anger. 'Magnus Bane.'

She pressed the red button, and the incoming call screen was gone. Instead she saw Alec's text message inbox almost full. She swallowed thickly and pressed 'View All.'

'Alec, I know you're at the Institute. I'm coming.' Two minutes ago.

'Where r u?' Five minutes ago

'Is this about that fight? Where r u?' Six minutes ago.

'Alec, pick up your phone.' 10 minutes ago.

Isabelle ran outside the room, only to collide into Alec. "Crap, Alec! What are you doing out of bed?" She demanded and Alec shrugged.

"Nothing hurt anymore, I feel fine actually. I came to get Jace's keys, he claimed you were taking too long." Alec explained with a small smirk.

Isabelle felt nervous all of a sudden, anger slowly melting to dread. "Umm, Alec. You-You should check your phone." Isabelle didn't want to tell Alec, Alec had to see for himself.

Alec looked confused but took the phone. As soon as he saw the messages, his face dropped. What was he supposed to feel? Happy that Magnus cared about him? Scared that it could be bad news? Anger for not telling him his siblings were looking for him? Nervousness? He really didn't know anymore.

"Hey, Alec? Did you get my key-" Jace strolled in, but froze at the tense expressions of his siblings. His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "Guys? What's wrong?"

But Alec didn't look up, didn't even show any sign of recognition he heard anything. His eyes were glued to the phone screen almost disbelievingly. Isabelle looked nervous, biting her lip and fidgeting. But there was something more, her eyes were burning with anger. What happened?

"Guys? What's wrong?" Jace tried again, voice sharper and louder. The sound of a phone dropping and crashing into hundreds of small pieces, similar to Alec's heart. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to talk to Magnus, wasn't ready to hear what he obviously had to say. Was he going to break up with him?

"Magnus." Alec gasped out, shoulders slumping forward and knees bending slightly.

A/N 2: Didn't I tell you it's horrible? And sorry about the slight cliffie there heehee.

Okay so I hope this is semi-okay and you all don't hate me. I might be taking this down and editing it again, because as usual, me sppelin ind gramer suck.

Oh and one more question: Would you guys rather have the longish chapters I've been posting (4,000-5,000 words) at the rather slowish pace I've been updating at, or would you rather have shorter chapters (2,000-3,000 words) but with less time between them? This chapter came a bit slow, as I was rather troubled by the characterization of Magnus, and the whole Mpreg situation (see A/N 1) .

Thanks for all the reviews guys! The update bunny was verry pleased, but it's a bit of an insatiable greedy bastard, so keep 'em coming. Could we possibly make it to 50 reviews? Pwease? I'm such a review whore I can't even.

See you next update!