Jane Rizzoli still stood in front of the kitchen counter, the exact place where her mother had left her. She sighed frustrated.
What has happened tonight? The idea was to have a nice dinner with my family and friends and then tell them, that finally Casey was ready to try a relationship with me. Finally, that's exactly what I have thought last week when he called. I mean, I have a crush on him since, well, ever. Then we lost contact after high school. He went to join the army and I went to the academy. The day we met again, the butterflies were still there. Yeah, they were there, so I wanted to give us a try. Then things became difficult. He went back to war, got injured, broke contact with me to... to get his self on track again, to get ready for me. That's what he said. He wanted to be the man for me I deserve. So he was willing to undergo a life threatening operation. He was willing to risk his life for me. No one ever was so serious about a relationship with me. That's more than one can ask from a possible mate. Then he had called me, told me that the surgery went well, that he is having rehab now but already had won feeling in his legs back and is able to walk, still with crutches, but walking after all. When we met last week for dinner, he looked good. He was smiling the whole evening. In his eyes there was proud, most probably about his progress. And there was something like anticipation. I asked him about it, and he told me, that he was hoping for a chance with me. And I thought finally. I thought the same finally I think when we get the one missing hint, when we get the perp, when we bring him to the station and we can close a case, finally. I have always been ambitious, slightly stubborn. I like to bring things to an end. Some people say I sometimes get so wound up in cases that I act like a pit bull, get a tunnel view. But hey! That's the only way to do this job. And the same goes for love.
She took a bottle of beer from the fridge and wandered into the living room.
So why don't the others think the same 'finally'? Why aren't they happy for me? Proud of me and my stamina? I don't get it. Ma has always wanted me to settle down, to marry and produce her grandchildren. So that's exactly what I am trying right now. Okay, I do understand that it seems rather sudden. Only a few weeks ago I declared that I was over him.
She took a sip from her beer.
Actually I don't care what Ma thinks about this. She is difficult sometimes, annoying but most of all a mother with her whole heart. So no matter what her problem is right now she will get over it sooner or later and then we are good again.
Korsak will calm down soon, too. The old man has a heart as soft as fluff. I will search the internet for a vid of cut puppies and sent him the link. That will do it.
Jane snickered and went to grab other beer.
Maura. Maura. That is not as easy. It's never easy with her. She is the best friend I ever had, and she is the most complicated friend I ever had. That is she, because she never tells me what I have done wrong, she never asks me for what she needs. Considering that she doesn't like guesses she forces me into guessing quite often. She doesn't like Casey, or me being with Casey, that's for sure, heaven knows why. But she is my friend, she wants me to be happy, doesn't she? So what's the problem? Maybe she's edgy because of the Hope thing. Has she talked to Hope lately? I can't remember her saying something about it. Thinking about it, I can't remember talking with her about anything else than cases ...or Casey. Oh! Maybe that's what's wrong. Maybe I haven't been a good friend lately. I have canceled movie night because Casey called. I canceled lunch because Casey called. But she said it was all right with her and she can't lie. But I just talk to her via telephone then, so I don't know if there have been hives. She must have the feeling that she is no longer needed now that this thing with Casey is working out. Damn Rizzoli. You should have made clear to her that no matter what future you are picturing, she is always part of it instead you get all unfair and strike below the belt during our argument. Damn. I will wait here till she comes home. I will say I'm sorry and I will make a joke and then we'll laugh and we are good. That's the plan.
Jane sank back into the cushions, preparing herself to wait for a few hours.
She woke hours later. She walked over to the window, looking out in the dark. She expected to see Mauras car standing in it's usual spot. But there was no car. She checked her phone for messages and stared back out of the window.
Damn you Maura Isles. It's way after midnight. Where are you? No matter how angry you are about me, you should know better than running around in town this late. Are you trying to get me worried? Yeah well, you succeeded. I am worried. I know I have been an ass but that's no reason to disappear into the night without saying a word.
She checked her phone again.
You know what?! Shove it! I won't hang around here and wait till you make it home. Likely you have hooked up with some random guy and tomorrow you will tell me about the healthiness of sex. Damn you!
Angrily she tossed her bottle into the trash and left the house, slamming the door behind her. She climbed into her car and started the engine her mind made up to drive to Casey's.
She had been standing at his apartment door for nearly 10 minutes now, still knocking. "No one can sleep this deep, dammit." she muttered. Finally the door swung open. "What the..." a sleepy and angry Casey yelled. As soon as he recognized Jane his facial expression softened. "Hey Jane, what are you doing here? In the middle of the night? Has something happened?"
"Actually, yes, something has happened. I know we decided to take it slow, but I need you tonight." Jane explained and moved towards Casey. She began kissing him while trying to get rid of her own button down.
"Whoa, Jane!" He closed the door behind her. "Slow down. Our first time as a couple should be something special." They moved to the living room still kissing. "And you know that this will be a commitment. I don't want to have meaningless sex with you."
"Casey, stop talking." Jane commanded.
Hours later Jane lay in Casey's bed. She starred at the ceiling, tears ran down her cheeks, while her lover peacefully slept next to her.
What have I done? That's what I wanted for so long, so why do I feel like shit right now? The sex was not bad, it was okay. Not really what I have expected. Casey was good, I mean, a bit to eager, demanding, but it really was okay. And hey, it was the first sex for him since his injury. Why am I crying like a baby? Why do I regret it, wish it had not happened? And why am I still thinking about Maura even in bed with Casey? Realization of the day: Distracting yourself from a fight with the best friend by having semi good sex with boy friend? Not working! Mental note: Don't try again.