"Are you sure you're not worried about Arashi missing in action?" Kakuzu asked.

"HELL YES. I'm f-cking sure, Kakuzu! Ow!" Hidan groaned and pulled the stake out of his chest.

"You've been doing that for an hour," Kakuzu pointed out.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" the Jashinist commanded. He stabbed himself again, and more blood leaked from his wound. The Akatsuki partners were in Kakuzu's room, where Hidan was… well duh, impaling himself with multiple sharp objects. Kakuzu didn't seem to mind all the blood on the floor. He was used to it.

Just then, Konan slammed the door open, "Guys, Arashi's… uh…" She stared at the bloody Hidan. "…Never mind."

Hidan tackled her to the ground, "Arashi's what!?" He demanded, "TELL ME." Konan pushed him off of her, "She's back. And you got blood all over me."

But Hidan was already gone and out the door. Kakuzu set down his money and reluctantly followed his partner.

Hidan burst through the doors of base. He shoved down the small crowd of Akatsuki that blocked his path.

"Ow! Tobi's a good b-"Hidan stepped on the masked ninja's face, shutting him up. As he made his way in front of the crowd, Hidan started to speak, "Arashi-"Hidan stopped mid sentence.

Deidara grabbed Arashi's hand and lifted her off the clay bird. As the bird disappeared in a puff of smoke, the two Akatsuki leaned in for a kiss.

The group fell silent, but no one was as awestruck as Hidan. A few whistles broke the silence. Hidan growled and pushed the nearest person, sadly Tobi, to the ground. "Oh, hell no," the masochist chuckled.

Arashi broke away from Deidara to steal a glance at Hidan. A wide smirk molded into her face. She let go of her grip on the artist and moved away. Deidara shot a glare at Hidan.

Second later, the two were on the ground throwing punches.

"Crap! Someone stop them!" Konan cried, "Arashi you got to-"

"YES! I love these things!" Arashi cheered. Kawauso, who was sitting next to her, seemed to be enjoying herself.

Konan sighed, "I'm out of here."

Zetsu stared a moment longer. "Yeah us too."

"Tobi will go with Zetsu-san because Tobi is a good boy!"

The rest quickly left the scene.

"Go boys, g-… Oh, shit. That's gotta…Um… Kawauso?" Arashi nervously looked for her otter partner. He had left the scene. Meanwhile, both men were bleeding… excessively.

"… You can stop now… Ouch… Okay, seriously. Stop. I mean it." She stared at them for a moment longer. "Ugh, fine." Fiery chakra sprouted from her fists as she ran to break the two of them up.

---

"Ow…" Deidara groaned slightly. "I think I broke something, hmm…"

Arashi ground her teeth, "Yeah, you did break something! Why else would I be wrapping bandages around your head?"

Deidara grunted and held still. They were in the infirmary, Arashi wrapping bandages around Deidara's bloodied head. "My first customers in the infirmary," Arashi murmured. She paused to glance at Hidan, who was still unconscious. She hadn't thought about healing him, being immortal and all. He still lay beaten up on the white sheets. Aw man, it's an infirmary! Don't buy white sheets! "My first and definitely not my last."

"HELL YES." Hidan yelled and shot up. He immediately regretted this, clutched his wounded side and flopped back on the bed.

Arashi groaned and quickly finished fixing Deidara's other wounds. She kissed him on the cheek before walking very slowly over to patch Hidan up.

"'Bout time you got here." Hidan murmured. "Don't push it." Arashi hissed. She felt a twinge of guilt as she checked his injuries. She had to beat them up in order to separate them, but she'd hit Hidan the hardest.

"Are you still mad at me for leaving you?" Hidan whispered. She narrowed her eyes as she started to heal his side. "What do you think?"

"No?"

"Yes."

He fell silent and shut his eyes, "Okay, look. I'm sorry." She remained silent. Suddenly, she stopped her chakra flow.

"Oh god. I think you've hit your head too hard," the medic stated.

Hidan raised an eyebrow, "Why, what's-"Arashi clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Hidan. You spoke for about an entire minute without swearing. And now you're apologizing?"

The Jashinist beamed, "Well, yeah. Love makes you do weird th-"

Arashi delivered a punch to his skull and knocked him unconscious. He dragged him off the bed. Deidara opened his eyes and stared at her inquisitively.

"Throwing him outside," the shinobi explained quickly. The sculptor nodded and shut his eyes. Probably saw this coming.

Arashi swung the door open and threw the unconscious criminal into the hallway.

"Zetsu-san! Where are you! Tobi is looking for you!"

"Thank god we got rid of that kid," Zetsu said to himself as he walked passed Hidan. "Look, food!"

"ZETSU!" Arashi yelled from inside the infirmary.

"Curses! One of these days…"

---

"So, you were captured by two guys."

"Yep."

"And they made you perform for money."

"Mhm."

"And later, you recognized them when they transformed to ninja?"

"I knew their faces."

"Did they say their names?"

"… Uh. No."

Pein sighed, "Great. A description at least?"

Arashi described them and their alternate "innocent citizen" forms as best as she could. Deidara was leaning on the chair behind her, Kawauso on her lap.

Pein nodded, "Very well, you may leave… Now then…" He picked up a puzzle, "Where was I?"

Arashi sighed to herself as they left Leader's room. She had to walk slowly to keep up with Deidara's limping pace.

"Come on, you need some rest."

Deidara leaned against her and didn't protest. "I'm so tired, hmm…"

Arashi smiled and opened the door to his room. "I'll bring you something to eat later, okay?" She said as she laid him in his bed.

Deidara nodded and she kissed his bandaged forehead and exited the room. She found the last person she wanted to see in the hallway.

"Ugh, Hidan, what do you want now?" She hissed. Hidan grinned and leaned against the wall, "You know what I want, bitch."

At least he was swearing again. "Go away." His cuts had stopped bleeding, but they still made him look…. Well, bloody.

"Aw shit, seriously, come on."

"Hidan, go away." Arashi was getting irritated.

"How about a f-cking kiss?"

"No."

"On the forehead?"

"No."

"Cheek?"

"NO."

"… Lips?"

"HELL NO."

"Just a f-cking quick one?"

"… Hidan, close you eyes."

Hidan smirked and obeyed, leaning in closer.

And Arashi kicked him in the … you get the point.

Hidan gasped and flopped to the ground. Arashi walked over him, "I'm going to my room."

Hidan couldn't speak, too busy trying to breathe. Zetsu walked past again and stared at the criminal.

A rock hit him in the head. The plant man thought twice and continued on his way.

---

"Perfect. Just perfect." Kawauso mumbled as he flopped on the bed.

Arashi took out her hair, "They just had to show up, didn't they?"

"SG and TSH? Those brats…"

Arashi combed her fingers through her flowing hair, "Kawauso, that's not their names."

"Yeah, but their names are too long. Tenshinhige and Sagegami? Uck. So I shortened them to TSH and SG. Speaking of which, now you also put that blonde guy in trouble. They'll probably take him hostage and expect you to come rushing to his or her rescue."

Arashi tied her hair back into the normal ponytail, "Maybe they'll go for Hidan instead."

Kawauso glared at his partner, "Hey, give the guy a chance."

"Oh, please. He'll probably rape me if I even go that close to him… Kawauso. What about the… you know."

The otter rolled his eyes, "Oh come on Arashi, it's no big deal… Uh. Do you hear moaning?"

They fell silent. Sure enough, there was a moaning noise coming from outside. Tobi knocked open the door.

"Could Arashi-chan come see Hidan-san? Tobi thinks he's dead."

Too bad she knew better. Arashi sighed and followed the masked ninja out the door. A small group had formed around Hidan, most prodding him. He moaned louder.

"Oh good, Arashi's here," Konan said.

"What did you do?" Kisame asked.

"Oh you know, kicked him in the nuts."

The guys decided to leave at that point. Konan flashed a smirk at her, "I guess you're handling this well. But we really need to help him or Pein'll get mad."

Arashi stared at her. "No, I mean carry him to his room," Konan clarified. Arashi sighed with relief, "Fine." She grabbed his arms and Konan grabbed Hidan's legs. The two women carried the masochist to his room and threw him on the bed. Konan left immediately, but before Arashi could get herself out the door, Hidan spoke up.

"What the hell was that?"

Arashi scowled, "I see you can talk. You were bothering me so I-"

"No, dumbass. Your shoulder."

Arashi blinked and covered her right shoulder with her left hand, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Now goodbye."

She dashed out the door and slammed it, her shoulder still covered. Hidan smirked and reached for his Jashin pendant. It glowed momentarily and a voice filled his head.

"Jashin-san. I found one."

---

"Oh god, this can't get any worse." Arashi snarled, "Why can't he be mortal?! First Orochimaru, then Sagegami and Tenshinhige and now him!"

Kawauso yawned, "Arashi, calm down. I'm sure he has no idea what it is."

"Oh yes he did! You should have seen him! Augh! I hate that guy." She sat down, cradling her head in her hands.

"No you don't." Arashi glared at Kawauso, "You know it only acts up when you-"He ducked to avoid a kunai tossed at him.

"SHUT UP."

"The tattoo only shines when you experience three strong emotions. Anger…" Kawauso began.

"KAWAUSO."

"Fear…"

"I'M WARNING YOU."

"AND LOVE!" Kawauso shouted.

Arashi pounced and proceeded to maul him. While she leaped into the air, her cloak slid off of her shoulder to reveal a wing tattoo the size of her palm. It glowed silver bright enough to illuminate the entire room.

Arashi snarled and fixed her cloak. "… You're really mad at me, aren't you?" Kawauso asked.

"Hell yes." Arashi punched him unconscious.