Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures

Switched

Chapter 5

A MONTH LATER

After seven long years in the Delta Quadrant, Voyager was finally home. Sitting alone on a warm hotel balcony in San Francisco, Kathryn looked out at the illuminated city and tried to make sense of so many chaotic thoughts. Everything was just a jumble of confusion in her mind and so many conflicting emotions were battling each other that she felt nothing but numb. For so many years she had dreamed of getting Voyager home, had longed to be with her family again, but never in all those dreams had she imagined anything like this. It all felt unreal somehow, had done since the day the Doctor had told her of his discovery, and since that day her life had got more and more strange. It was as though she had stepped into an alternate reality. For almost a month now nothing had felt familiar. Not only did she hardly know herself, who she was, but it felt as though she didn't know those closest to her. Over the passed month Chakotay had become more and more distant, Tuvok less and less discerning, and Seven social.

Now she knew the reason for their behavior, courtesy of Admiral Janeway: Chakotay and Seven were in love and Tuvok ill. Tuvok being ill she could well understand, but Chakotay's relationship with Seven had knocked her for six. Even though, on reflection, she could see that they'd spent a lot of time together lately, and she could remember only too well their candlelight meal that night she'd barged into their program, not for a moment had she thought their relationship was anything more than platonic. Chakotay had never shown any romantic interest in Seven and she could not think of a worst matched couple. But then she was biased. Even though they had never been in a romantic relationship, she had always thought of Chakotay as 'her man' and had always hoped against hope that when they got home there could be a future for them together. It hurt like hell that just when a future was possible, he was with someone else. And knowing Chakotay as well as she did, she knew he would never get involved with Seven unless he cared for her deeply. But just how had that deep care come about? It was a mystery.

Every now and then Kathryn pinched herself, just to make sure she was not dreaming or experiencing some kind of hallucination. She had done the same the first months they were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. But then, like now, she didn't wake up and the experience went on and on. And just like in a dream, it all seemed unreal and timeless. One moment she was talking to Admiral Janeway on Voyager, the next she was in the arms of her mother and sister in San Francisco. They had held each other tight, held each other long, and in those moments Kathryn had forgotten all about the Brentons and the mix-up. But now that they were home, that can of worms would have to be opened and just the thought of it churned Kathryn's stomach. All she could do was try not to think about it. She was good at that, not thinking about things, suppressing her emotions, ignoring her needs.

A distant bleep sounded and it pulled Kathryn out of her thoughts. Could it be 6 am already? She had not even been to sleep yet. But then the welcoming home party had lasted until well passed 2 am and she'd talked with several people after that. Accustomed to late nights, little sleep, Kathryn got up and went into her bedroom to take a shower. She and Chakotay had promised to meet with several other members of Voyager's crew on the hotel's veranda to watch their first homecoming sunrise together. Most of their crew members had gone home with family or friends, but a good number had either no where to go or had a long distance to travel to their homeworld, so were staying in this hotel. Captain and First Officer to the end, Kathryn and Chakotay had stayed to give them support.

When Kathryn was ready, dressed in a pretty white blouse over beige pants, she left her room and made her way to Chakotay's as planned. He was just down the hallway and they intended to walk to the Veranda together. Kathryn had no doubt that he was already dressed and waiting, so when she reached his room she imputed the access code he'd given her and opened the door. But when she stepped inside, it was not Chakotay's face that greeted her, it was Seven's. The ex-Borg was sitting on the edge of Chakotay's bed, fully dressed in a red catsuit, and looked at Kathryn in complete mortification. Chakotay appeared to be fast asleep and on his neck was a flashing silver device. Seven grabbed it quickly and then got to her feet.

"Captain..." she said. "I was...I was just leaving..."

With that she hit a circular badge on her suit and disappeared.

Kathryn stared at the spot she had stood for a long moment, somewhat bewildered by Seven's behavior, then she walked over to the bed and looked down at Chakotay. He was definitely asleep, very soundly asleep. There was a mark on his neck where the device had been and Kathryn tenderly put her fingers there. Just what had Seven been doing? And why had she run away so quickly?

Kathryn slipped her fingers to Chakotay's shoulder and tried to nudge him awake.

"Chakotay, wake up," she said. "Wake up."

But Chakotay didn't stir.

Kathryn nudged him harder and called louder. "Chakotay...time to get up."

Nothing.

"Chakotay," she cried, almost shaking him now. "Wake up."

At last he stirred and his eyes fluttered open. But as soon as they did, he shut them again and raised his hands to his head with a murmur.

"What's wrong?" Kathryn asked.

"My head," Chakotay told her, sitting up and holding his head in his hands. "It's killing me."

Kathryn got up from the bed. "I'll get the Doctor."

"No," he argued. "I'll be... alright. It...it often hurts in...the morning."

"I'm getting the Doctor," she insisted. "Seven was here doing something to you. Do you know she was here?"

"No?" Chakotay answered, looking up at Kathryn in surprise. "She was?"

"Yes. And disappeared as soon as I got here."

"I..don't remember...everything's hazy..."

"Just relax," Kathryn said. "I'll get the Doctor. He'll either be in his room or on the veranda."

Chakotay frowned. "Veranda?"

"Of our hotel...in San Francisco. Do you remember? We got home..."

"No I..." Then everything came back to him. "Of course...home."

"I won't be long, lie still."

Chakotay did as she said, the pain in his head preventing him doing otherwise, and Kathryn hurried to find the Doctor.

"You say that Seven had a device on Chakotay's neck," the Doctor said to Kathryn as he examined a now recovering Chakotay. "What did it look like?"

"I didn't see it closely," Kathryn replied. "But it was small, silver, and was flashing."

The Doctor addressed Chakotay. "And you have no idea what she was doing, Commander?"

"No," he answered. "I can't remember her being here." He looked up at Kathryn. "Are you sure you're not mistaken?"

"About what?" she asked. "Seven being here or doing something to you?"

"Both."

"I might be eccentric," Kathryn teased, "but I'm not delusional. Seven was here and definitely doing something to you."

"She'd never hurt me. If she was doing something, it wasn't to harm me. We love each other. I've had the headaches a while. They're nothing to do with her."

"I'm not so sure," the Doctor said, studying data on his tricorder. "I think they might have everything to do with her."

"How do you mean?" Chakotay asked.

"Based on what the Captain saw and your current condition, I think Seven was using a neural transceiver to link her mind with yours."

Kathryn questioned now. "But why would she want to do that?"

"You'll have to ask her," the Doctor replied.

"I don't believe it," Chakotay said. "She's never do anything like that without my consent."

"Well, it seems that she has," the Doctor answered. "More than once. You have concentrated neural degeneration consistent with frequent linkage. Which means that I owe you an apology, Commander. While over-work has no doubt compromised your health, your headaches have clearly had another origin. Misdiagnosis is what comes of making assumptions. I'll do better next time."

"I think you're misdiagnosing now," Chakotay replied. "I know Seven better than anyone does. She'd never do this."

"I'd like to believe you," the Doctor said sincerely, "but she clearly has. And with every link your risk of brain damage increases. She must be questioned and reproved as soon as possible. In fact, we should summon her here now."

"No, Doctor," Chakotay argued. "I'll deal with it. She and I are meeting up later. I'll question her then."

"Be sure that you do. Your life, or at least the quality of it, is at stake."

Suddenly a small silver phone-pad on the bedside cabinet bleeped and flashed. Somewhat clumsily, Chakotay touched the pad and Tuvok's voice sounded. "This is Tuvok. Is all well, Commander? It is almost 6:45 hours. The sun will rise in less than ten minutes. Everyone is waiting for you and the Captain."

The sunrise. With all that had happened, Kathryn had completely forgotten about it.

"We'll be right there," Chakotay announced. He touched the pad again and the connection terminated.

"I don't think you should be going anywhere," Kathryn said. "They'll manage without us. We can enjoy the sunrise from here."

"No," Chakotay answered. "I'll be ok."

Kathryn turned to the Doctor. "Doctor?"

"So long as you feel up to it, Commander."

"I do," he said, getting to his feet.

"Then we'd better get going," the Doctor smiled. "The sun waits for no one."

The small crowd of Voyagers clapped when their Captain, First Officer and Doctor arrived, and they arrived just in time to see the sun peep over a black horizon. At the first sight of the life-giving star everyone cheered and their happiness warmed Kathryn's heart.

"Welcome home," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn smiled in return and for a moment, just a moment, pure happiness filled her sorrowful heart. They had done it. Against all the odds they had made it. And never, more than in this moment, had their triumph felt so real. But as she gazed at Chakotay, her joy turned to a familiar ache...the ache of forbidden love. More than ever she longed to hold him, to tell him that she loved him, loved him more than anyone or anything, but it was too late. He was not hers to love, he never really had been, and it seemed that he never would be. As he moved through the crowd to talk with others, Kathryn watched him with unshed tears stinging her eyes. For seven years he had not only been her comrade, but her companion and confidant. But now, little by little, their bond was breaking, and soon it would be nothing but frail strands. And the irony was that now she was losing him, with all her buried heartache over her parentage, she needed him more than ever.

END OF CHAPTER FIVE