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Switched

Chapter 14

Pain. Pain was the first thing Chakotay became aware of as he regained consciousness. Pain, then dirt, then trees. For a moment he didn't know where he was, then everything came flooding back to him. He'd been beaten up by Cayla's men. How long he'd been unconscious he didn't know, but it must have been a while as daylight was almost gone. After taking a few moments to come-to, Chakotay tried to sit up but the pain was so great that he could hardly move a muscle. All he could do was reach for his commbadge and even that took immense effort.

"Chakotay...to...the doctor," he said. "Help me."

The Doctor's voice answered immediately. "Commander? Where are you?"

"Bankside...Park...Dallas...I'm...hurt."

"I'll be right there," the Doctor said.

As he waited for the Doctor to arrive, Chakotay closed his eyes and tried to meditate the excruciating pain away, but it was no use. The pain was too great. Every now and then he drifted into unconsciousness, but with great determination he managed to pull himself back from the brink.

"Commander..."

The voice was the Doctor's.

"Commander...what happened?"

"I..was...attacked..." Chakotay replied.

"By whom?"

Chakotay gave no answer. "Just...help...me."

The Doctor hit his commbadge. "Doctor to MT 415. Two to beam up at my location. Medical emergency."

In seconds a transporter beam engulfed them and they dematerialized. When they rematerialized, Chakotay found himself on a bed in a medical-bay.

"Welcome to my new sick-bay," the Doctor said. "Not as fancy as the old, but it will serve. I'm fortunate to be allowed to practice at all. There are those who would decompile me." He pulled out a medical tricorder and began to scan Chakotay.

"Don't tell...the Captain...I'm here," Chakotay said. "Don't...want..her...to know."

"Been up to something you shouldn't?" the Doctor joked. "Your attempt at disguise I've observed."

"No," he answered. "Just...don't...tell her. And...deactivate...my commbadge."

The Doctor did as he asked. "As you wish." He then picked up a hypospray. "Now, I'm going to put you to sleep while I treat your injuries."

In seconds the medication was in Chakotay's system and he lost consciousness.

When Chakotay woke up, the terrible pain was gone and he could move freely again. His muscles were a bit sore and his legs a little stiff, but otherwise he was as good as new.

"You'll need to take it easy for the next couple of days," the Doctor said as Chakotay got up from the bio-bed. "No exertion, just mild exercise."

"Understood," Chakotay replied. He unpinned his commbadge, fiddled with it, and then put it back on. "Thank you for your assistance."

"What happened, Commander? Who assaulted you?"

"I'd rather not discuss it," he answered.

"But we'll need to report the attack."

"Not this time."

"But it was a vicious assault," the Doctor argued. "Whoever did this needs to be apprehended!"

"I got caught in the middle of something I shouldn't have," Chakotay explained. "Call it a case of mistaken identity."

"You suffered three fractured ribs, a cracked collarbone, a broken tibia, internal bleeding and multiple derma lacerations. That is grievous bodily harm! How can you even think of protecting those responsible? Are you afraid? Is that it? Are you being threatened by someone with a grudge against the Maquis?"

"No," Chakotay told him. He hesitated a moment, then continued. "If you must know, it was Cayla Brenton."

The Doctor's eyes widened. "The Captain's possible twin?"

"The Captain's definite twin. I went to Dallas to check her out...to see if she was identical to the Captain or not...and someone saw me following her. When I was leaving two of her men seized me and she questioned me. She thought I was sent to kill her by someone called Taron."

"I see," the Doctor said, trying to take this in.

"What she's caught up in I don't know. But I get the impression that she's a professional and doesn't go around assaulting random people. If she did, she'd be in jail by now."

"Are you sure it was Cayla Brenton?" the Doctor asked, struggling to believe it.

"Yes...unless the Captain has a clone." He paused. "I don't want Kathryn to know about this. She's been through enough already."

"I understand your reluctance," the Doctor replied, "but the Captain's twin or not, we should report what happened. This assault was a criminal act."

"It could be argued so was my spying on her. And if we tell the police, we'll have to tell them why I was in Dallas in disguise. I can't do that. I'll do my civic duty, Doctor, I'll send an anonymous tip to the authorities about Cayla's activities, but I've made my decision: this stays between us."

After downing her fourth cup of coffee, Kathryn fiddled with the combadge in her hand and debated with herself whether or not to contact Chakotay. They'd agreed that only he would initiate contact, just incase she called him at a bad time, but his last call had been over four hours ago and she was beginning to worry. Why she was worried, she didn't know, it wasn't as if anything was going to happen to him in Dallas, but she had a terrible feeling nonetheless that something was wrong. But then the door opened and Chakotay came in.

"Chakotay..." Kathryn said, getting to her feet. "I've been worried. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he replied.

Kathryn closed the gap between them. "Why haven't you been in contact? I haven't heard from you in hours."

"It's a long story. But the good news is I saw Cayla."

Kathryn lowered her eyes at those words and fidgeted with her fingers. While she longed to know whether her twin was identical, ached to know even, at the same time she didn't want to know. "And?"

"You and she are identical."

Kathryn's hands stilled and she was a long time in speaking. "I see," she said quietly. She then turned away from Chakotay and walked over to the window. "So I really am a Brenton. And I really have a twin." Tears filled her eyes. "A little piece of my heart was still hoping...even against the odds...that I really was Kathryn Janeway....that none of this was real. But it is real."

Chakotay looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

"What was she like? My twin?"

"Different," Chakotay said cautiously. "She has your face and your voice but those are the only similarities between you." He paused. "Things didn't go quite to plan. I heard her, before I saw her...heard your voice. I followed her into a bar, hoping to get a closer look at her, but she noticed I was looking and came over to my table. We talked for a bit and, well, let's just say I don't think you and she will hit it off. She's gutsy like you and speaks her mind, but I don't think she's a very nice person. I wish I could say otherwise."

"You can only say it as it is," Kathryn replied. "I wouldn't want you to lie."

At those words, Chakotay lowered his eyes. Even though he felt he was doing the right in not telling her about the assault, he felt guilty about keeping it from her.

"If she wants to meet me," Kathryn continued, "then I'll meet with her, but if our differences are too great for us to ever form a friendship, then I guess after all this time it doesn't matter."

There was a long tense silence, then Chakotay broke it.

"I'm rather tired," he said. "I'm going to take a shower to freshen up."

Kathryn turned to him now. "Have you had something to eat? If not I'll replicate something."

"I have, thank you." On the way home he'd grabbed a sandwich.

"Thank you," Kathryn said. "For going."

Their eyes locked and then Kathryn walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. Chakotay embraced her in return and they held each other long, both receiving comfort and healing in the other.

"If I make it a bath," Chakotay said after a while, "will you join me?"

Kathryn looked up at him with a smile. "I'd love too."

The bath had worked wonders for Chakotay's sore body, but his mind was still afflicted. Lying in bed, all kinds of thoughts raced around each other in his head and he tried to navigate through them. Was he really doing the right thing in not telling Kathryn? They had always told each other everything. It was how they'd got through the Voyager years. Yet Kathryn had been through so much already and he didn't see any benefit to telling her. Perhaps he'd got things wrong. Maybe Cayla wasn't a professional criminal, maybe she was an undercover agent and Taron was the villain. Without all the facts he was in danger of jumping to very wrong conclusions.

"You've been very quiet since you got back," Kathryn said, taking off a black dressing gown and climbing in bed beside him. "Did something happen that you haven't told me about?"

Chakotay turned to her. There was no fooling Kathryn. Her mind was as sharp as a razor. "Cayla," he said quietly. "She...she was so different. I don't want you to get hurt, Kathryn. You've been hurt enough already."

Kathryn leant over him and tenderly stroked his brow. "Don't worry about me. Cayla might be my twin but she's just a stranger to me. I know twins are supposed to have a special bond, but until this week I didn't even know I had a twin, and I can't imagine ever loving her the way I do Phoebe. The bond must surely come with growing up together. If Cayla and I don't get on then we can go on being strangers." She paused. "We can't change the past...well, not without breaking some almighty directives...and most of it I don't want to change. If I could choose who to be, it would always be Kathryn Janeway. I don't know how the switch happened, maybe we'll never know, but I'm glad that it did."

"Me too," Chakotay whispered. "I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't want to imagine it."

"Or me mine without you," Kathryn replied. "The last few weeks have been some of the most difficult weeks of my life, but they've also been some of the most wonderful. I don't want all this with my parentage to cloud our relationship. For too many years our relationship has been clouded by duty, protocol and denial. I admit that it's difficult to come to terms with not being who I thought I was, but I have almost come to terms with it and will in my own time. You deserve to be happy, Chakotay, and I want to make you happy. I don't want to see pain in your eyes for my sake."

"But that's what love is," Chakotay answered. "It's hurting when the one you love hurts, it's joying when they joy."

Kathryn took his hand in hers and squeezed it. "I'll make it up to you, Chakotay. When all this is over... the tests, the investigation, the meetings...how about we take a vacation? Just the two of us. How does the Gulf of Mexico sound followed by a return trip to Trebus?"

Chakotay smiled. "Sounds wonderful."

Kathryn smiled in return and then gently kissed Chakotay's lips. He responded and they kissed softly. When their lips drew apart, Kathryn tenderly kissed his neck and caressed his body. Chakotay cherished every kiss, every caress, but the skin around his ribs was very sensitive and her loving strokes stung.

"I really am very tired," he said sadly. "I'm sorry."

Kathryn looked up at him with only love in her eyes. "Then we'd better get some sleep." She kissed his forehead and then snuggled up to him. "Goodnight, Chakotay."

Chakotay kissed her soft hair. "Goodnight, my love."

Kathryn then bade the computer to dim the lights and almost instantly they faded.

END OF CHAPTER 14