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Switched

Chapter 17

2 Days Later

On a quiet cafe terrace, overlooking a golden Floridian shore, Kathryn waited nervously for Cayla to arrive. Her twin had sent her a note, suggesting they meet at this place at this time, and Kathryn had sent her a note back agreeing to. Kathryn had spent a great while deliberating over what to wear. She doubted Cayla would dress formally, given Chakotay's description of her style, and she did not want to over-dress. But neither did she want to under-dress and give Cayla the impression that this meeting was not important to her. In the end she had decided on casual but smart and dressed herself in summery blue pants and a white blouse. As she waited she sipped a glass of mineral water and thought about the way she should greet Cayla. Should she greet her with just a hand shake or a more intimate embrace? How were long lost twins supposed to greet each other? She could only conclude it depended on the twins. One thing was certain: she had to greet her as though she knew nothing about her.

Suddenly footsteps sounded behind her and Kathryn turned around. She hoped they belonged to Cayla and found that they did. But the Cayla walking across the terrace was nothing like the Cayla Chakotay had described or the Cayla she had seen in the Doctor's picture. Far from having short white-blonde hair she had long golden waves that fell in silken streams over her shoulders. Her face was only lightly adorned with make-up and there was no ring through her nose. Instead of tattoos on her arms she had only silver spangles, and instead of grungy style clothes she was wearing a pretty green floral dress with high-heel shoes to match.

Cayla stopped walking when she saw Kathryn and for a long moment the two women stared at each other. Then Cayla closed the gap between them.

"I guess we don't need introducing," Cayla said in the only characteristic that matched her description, a southern twang.

"No," Kathryn replied. "Unless we have a triplet." She held out her hand, thinking she ought to. "I'm pleased to meet you."

Cayla took her hand and shook it, but did not return the remark. In fact, she was quite steely and aloof. "At least now I know why we look so much alike," she said. "Since you got back I've been mistaken for you a dozen or more times. It's mighty annoying."

"I can imagine," Kathryn replied quietly. While she had prepared herself for a cold Cayla, a part of her had hoped they would warm to each other instantly and find a natural affinity. It was so special, being a twin, and she'd hoped the nine months they'd spent together in the womb would give them some kind of connection. She had clung to the hope that Cayla was an undercover agent and had not allowed herself to prejudge her. But now, standing here with her face to face, there was no affinity, no connection, there was just emptiness. However, the fact that she was so different in appearance to the woman she'd been told about suggested she was an undercover agent of somekind and not a criminal. Without evidence to the contrary, Kathryn made up her mind to believe that.

"I won't beat around the bush with you," Cayla said. "I'm meeting you today not in the hope of beginning a lifelong friendship but in the hope that this will be the last time we ever meet. I haven't known you for 45 years and I don't want to now. I'm sorry if that disappoints you, but life is a barrel of disappointments. You are very high-profile and I don't need that kind of complication in my life. What Lacey will do, I don't know, but I will take legal action if I have to to protect my anonymity. I don't want the whole Federation to know I'm Kathryn Janeway's long lost twin. Being Kathryn Janeway's lookalike is complication enough."

"Legal action won't be necessary," Kathryn answered sadly. "The investigation is confidential and I have told no one except my partner and family about this. I don't want it all over the news either."

"Then I'm glad we have an understanding."

"But I would like to know more about you," Kathryn said. "About your...our...parents. And about Lacey."

"I'm sure Lacey will give you her entire life history when she gets back. Brevity is not a word she comprehends. I won't mince words. She and I have never been close. I haven't seen her since our mother died and don't plan on seeing her any time soon. She has her life and I have mine. And now I know we're not even related, I don't care if I never see her again."

Kathryn looked at her appalled and Cayla laughed.

"Does that shock you? Well, it's true. I'm a cold cat, Kathryn. You may as well know it. Life has made me cold."

"Tell me about your life," Kathryn said.

"I wouldn't know where to start."

"What about with Marette and Draye? What were they like?"

"Self absorbed and absent. Mom was a violinist, Dad a pianist, and they packed Lacey and I off to boarding school as soon as we were out of diapers so they could tour. Christmas, Easter, Summer, we'd be lucky to get a visit. But as soon as darling Lacey showed skill on the flute, they plucked her out of school and taught her on the road. Tone-deaf me, of course, they conveniently left to rot. I left the dump as soon as I was old enough and got myself into the cops. I was in the force for ten years but was tossed out when a bastard with a grudge set me up for an inside job I didn't do. Sure I'd dirtied my own hands in dealing with scum, but as far as inside operations went I was clean. After that I got depressed, got into drugs, booze, and then one abusive relationship after another. Twice I got pregnant, twice I got ditched, and when my kids were five and three, social services decided I was an unfit mother and took them off me. They were adopted by a couple in Kansas and I ain't allowed to see them until they're eighteen. It's pretty ironic, don't you think, that the state I worked my butt off to serve, turned around and kicked me in it? Well now I don't give a damn about the state. I work for myself and I live my life my way. I don't give a damn about anybody."

There was so much bitterness in her words, but also so much sadness, and Kathryn couldn't help but feel sorry for her. It certainly seemed as though she'd been dealt a rough deal in life.

"I can tell from your face," Cayla went on, "that you feel sorry for me. But I don't want your pity. I don't want anything from you except to be left alone."

"I'm sorry," Kathryn said sincerely, "about your children. What did you have?"

"A boy and a girl. Tylo and Rimi. You're probably thinking they're better off without a loser of a mother, but at least I was always around for them, unlike mine, even if I wasn't always sober. You so lucked out in getting transplanted. If you must feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for Lacey. She drew the short straw. She should have had your parents, she got mine. Tough luck. But at least she was their little darling. She was everyone's little darling. While I sat alone in my dorm, no kid wanting to hang out with me, little Miss Popular cavorted with her merry maidens in the holo-zone. So don't feel too sorry for her. Just be glad you got the life you did." She paused. "Well, I've said what I've come to say. I don't have any questions for you. I know more about your life than I want or need to know. I'm glad we've met, but I mean it when I say I don't ever want to meet you again. It's nothing personal, I just go life alone. Goodbye, Kathryn. Have a good life and a not so bad death. "

Without giving Kathryn the chance to say goodbye, she turned around and left.

END OF CHAPTER 17