Roy and Riza's Cracked Out Adventures

by The New Fullmetal Alchemist

GUESS WHO'S BACK! Me, with more hilarious cracked-out antics! Read my newest offering if you're a long-time fan, or start from the beginning if you're new! It's wonderfully random humor, and it's BACK AFTER 2 YEARS! Hooray!

17. Roy and Riza's Cracked Out Morning

Hello, everyone! It's The New FMA here with some one-shot, cracked-up goodness! Keep in mind that in order to understand 'Adventure' #17 you will need to have read #16, and in order to read #16, you must read #1! See you all in reviews!

Thank you for today's idea, Roy-Fan-33! I'm sorry to hear that the car that inspired "Kittens for Brakepads" has gone to car heaven…

Disclaimer: I do not endorse the use of illicit drugs – only making fun of them.

Roy and Riza's Cracked-Out Adventures: The Next Day

"Pickle-cake, pickle-cake, pickles in a pan," Ed sang out happily as he clapped hands with Riza to the beat of the vinegary-vegetable song, "pickle me a shrimp as fast as you can!"

"Catch it," Riza giggled, sitting cross-legged opposite of Ed, "and pickle it, and mark it with an R!"

"And put it back in Roy's pants, since it belongs to him, not me!" Ed finished as he and Riza convulsed in laughter.

Roy's eye twitched. He couldn't see them, but he could clearly hear them… seeing as how they were sitting in front of his desk. 'Why,' he thought, 'didn't I just give Riza the day off? I should have known that after yesterday's incident Ed would convince her into getting high…'

"Pickle-cake, pickle-cake, pickles in a pan…" the two cracked-out pseudo-three-year-olds chorused as they began the clapping game anew.

"WHAM!" Roy's head crashed onto the desk, and the two cracked-out blondes merrily continued with their song, oblivious to everything but the idea of pickling Roy's… ahem… smaller attributes…

Awww, poor Roy! They keep picking on you for being 'small!' But don't worry – I know just how wrong they are! Keep sending me funny thoughts/comments/stories so I can FMA-ify them! You don't have to be a registered user to send along a message!

Oh, and if you do have any friends who use drugs a lot, do me a favor, ok? Btch-slap them upside the head and tell them that if they continue to wreck their lives with drugs, their lives will be reduced to playing patty-cake to the tune of a song about pickles. That should scare the crap out of 'em.