I never dreamt about Derek and Paige.

I had only ever seen Derek in this most recent reoccurring dream. I never saw a vision of him with his childhood lover; I didn't even know what she looked like.

But for whatever reason, Deucalion did know. And after telling him that I had seen Derek in my dreams, he had done with me what he had done about Isaac: he gave me a thicker cut of 'background information.' So that was how I knew all about this pertinent piece of Derek's life; not because I had seen it for myself but because Deucalion had told me all about it. Every time I lie, I swear a piece of me ignited and burned away in my chest, leaving a new scar in the collection I must've had going by this point. But there was literally no other option in my eyes. I either lied now and got Derek on my side, or I let him continue to be stubborn and doubt me when it would only lead to more people getting hurt.

But as he stood there, his cold, hard eyes that had once been drilling into my skull scanning the floor, I knew what I had done was wrong. I was using this against him, whether I was convinced it was for a greater good or not. In the end, I was helping him. But in the moment, I knew I was hurting him. And I felt so unbelievably sorry and sick about that.

I had held my breath for a solid minute before anyone spoke.

He cleared his throat and then Derek had said, "So, why are you convinced something is about to happen?"

It worked; Derek was ready to listen. I finally had them all believing that something was about to happen and finally I could use their help in preventing it.

I told him and Cora and Peter all about what I saw. Peter keep periodically nodding and narrowing his eyebrows like he was listening intently and Cora's body language towards me eventually relaxed, her eyes gradually widening and her mind opening up. I was up in Isaac's room with him now, sitting on the edge of his bed. He walked over and I thought he was going to merely take a seat next to me but instead he let himself fall backwards, staring up at the ceiling.

"Good view?" I joked.

Isaac ignored my comment and instead said, "I can't believe you actually got Derek Hale, the most stubborn guy on the face of the planet, to listen to you. I don't think anyone's ever been able to change his mind before."

"Yeah, well," I said, letting myself fall backwards too. "I felt bad bringing it up but it was the only way he'd help me."

I wiggled my toes in my shoes. "I feel bad about knowing all these personal details of everyone else's lives without them having ever told me, actually." There was a silence in which I knew he was processing how I was indirectly speaking about his father. But I also knew that he only knew as much as I had told him, which doesn't include the violent details Deucalion had told me before I went out.

"It's not your fault." Isaac's eyes were searching the ceiling. "And something tells me I probably would have ended up telling you at some point anyways."

I chewed on the thought of that. Did that mean that he already felt like he could trust me with something as personal and traumatizing as that part of his life?

"I want to tell you something." I said suddenly, surprising myself. Isaac propped himself up on both elbows. "What is it?"

Now I was the one searching the ceiling for an answer I knew I wouldn't find in the swirling pattern in the paint. "I think it's only fair that if I know about your dad you know about my parents." I turned my head towards him at the end of my sentence, trying to gage how I thought he might react to the thought.

"Please don't take this the wrong way," he started, "but you only know that he died. Our relationship beforehand- it wasn't…"

"I know." was all I said.

"Oh." He said back, surprised.

I knew he was assuming that it was something I saw. I knew that. But I wasn't sure if I could handle hearing the story a second time, let alone from him. So I told myself just this once it was alright for me to let him believe that was the case. What was I supposed to say? Deucalion told me all about it? Yeah I don't think so.

"So… what happened to your parents?" Isaac asked. "If you still want to tell me."

I looked back up. "They died in a car accident. And I know, you're sorry, you don't have to say anything. I've heard the words 'I'm sorry' more times than anyone should have to. My parents and I, we never really had a great relationship but that was my fault; I spent a lot of time pushing them away, being a stereotypical complicated teenage girl. And then we were going out for a family dinner, which I really didn't want to go to, because my dad got some promotion, I don't know. That's how shitty of a daughter I am; I don't even really know what we were supposed to be celebrating. Anyways, it was just one of those freak things."

I took a minute to remember it all, to let the memories in the dusty drawers at the back of my mind flutter forward.

"It was an eighteen-wheeler. I don't remember what it was for but I remember that it was white. I didn't have time to read the words on the side. I had ear buds in and music blasting because I was trying to avoid conversation but I still remember what it sounded like; like metal screeching against metal and pulling itself apart. I don't think they ever even saw our car, and they just kind of… ran it over and then pushed it over the guardrail."

My eyes stung. "And I remember briefly opening my eyes when they were pushing me on a stretcher into the ambulance and seeing the car. It hardly looked like a car anymore at all. And there were too bumps on the ground covered with blue tarps. Then after I was released from the hospital, I was eighteen so technically I was an adult and didn't need anyone to watch me so I didn't know what else to do and I just… went back to the house."

"You just stayed there alone?"

"Yeah. For a while." I looked at Isaac and gave him a weak smile. "And then my pack found me."

"How'd they find you?"

"I remember thinking those nights lying awake in my bed that I was being watched. I would hear things downstairs or the faintest footsteps you can imagine, and I questioned whether or not someone was coming into the house. I never locked the doors or windows or anything. I thought that maybe if someone was coming in the house to steal something I didn't really have a lot left that they could take. And if they were coming in the house with the intention of hurting me or killing me off because I'd be a witness to their robbery or something, I really wouldn't have cared. Part of me thinks I was leaving the house open because I was hoping it would happen."

The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to think of how they would actually sound coming out of my mouth.

"I've never told anyone that before." I said quieter. "That period of time really wasn't the highlight of my life. Then one night I heard something, out in the hallway and it didn't seem accidental; it seemed like someone was purposefully trying to get my attention. And I just kind of got up and opened the door. And there was this… guy, just standing there. And I just kept standing there too, looking at him like I was imaging the whole thing. And the first thing he said to me was, 'For a girl with absolutely nothing, you could so easily gain so much.'"

"So you let him turn you." Isaac said. "Derek did the same to me. He advertised the bite like it was some kind of gift."

"Do you think it was?" I asked. Isaac shrugged. "Things have gotten more interesting. I don't really like thinking about how my life would have panned out in the long run had none of this happened." He looked at me suddenly. "I wouldn't be here, for starters."

I wasn't completely sure if he meant at all or here next to me on the bed, but something in the way he had looked at me made me think that maybe he meant both.

"It's hard not to appreciate something that was given to you when you had nothing else, whether or not it ends up being a gift or a curse." I said. "I didn't mind my old life but I didn't have much of a choice in whether or not I kept it. But when I think about it, I think turning as opposed to not after the accident was the better option for me. It gives me a reason to try and fall asleep at night and get up in the morning because I know what I'm dreaming has a lot of potential for something."

I made it a point to try and avoid his eyes. I don't even know why but I had always felt embarrassed talking about things related to how I felt even though I knew I shouldn't. I think a lot of people besides me feel like that but related to this specific scenario I feel like Isaac did too. We both had lost a lot and were confused by what it was exactly that we had gained. I let myself look and studied his jawline. Something fluttered in my stomach. He was the first person since the accident I had opened up to; Deucalion, the twins, and Kali all knew my story but I had always felt like it was pried out of me. That night when Deucalion showed up in my house, he knew I had been alone all that time since the accident and had been keeping an eye on me. I guess he was scoping me out, getting a feel for if he thought I was worthy and could even handle being turned. And I guess I made the cut.

"When your alpha gave you the bite, did he tell you that there was a possibility it could kill you?" Isaac asked suddenly.

I nodded. "He told me there were risks. But like I said, I didn't much care about that at that point."

He shifted his jaw, obviously bothered by something I had said.

"What?" I asked.

"I hope you don't think like that anymore." He said, surprising me slightly. "I mean, I wouldn't want you to."

"I guess I don't." I said, smiling for a quick moment. "I keep telling myself I have these dreams because I have some sort of purpose here, even though ninety percent of the time I have no clue what that purpose is." I paused and then looked back to him. "Did you ever think like that?"

"Yeah." He said. "I did. But all three of us-"

He stopped himself short. "When Derek turned me, he turned two others too: this girl Erica and this guy Boyd. And I think they both felt that way, which was why he chose us; because it was so easy to convince us that this was the right choice as opposed to our human lives. He made us feel like he was doing it for us but ultimately he was just trying to make a pack, to gain power. Boyd and Erica ended up getting killed though."

I was silent, not knowing what to say.

"Why did he want power so badly?" I asked. Isaac looked around the room.

"He wanted to create a strong pack, to be the top dog. It's not like that anymore really I suppose; things have changed and a lot has gone on since then. Once you lose people you care about you start rethinking a few things and I think he finally realized that power wasn't really that important at the end of the day. He had it in his mind before that he needed to intimidate all the others- Kali and Deucalion and them."

There are hundreds of theories on time. Some people will argue that it's continuous and never-ending while I'm sure others will argue that each day the sunrises, time resets itself and the day begins all over again. Personally, I'm not entirely sure whether I think time is always going or stopping and restarting itself.

All I know is that in that moment I swear to God it stopped.