HEY, I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE MAY NOT LIKE WHAT I GAVE DEAN. HOWEVER, I DECIDED TO TAKE IT FROM SEASON 1 (THE EPISODE FAITH AND NO, THERE WILL BE NO FAITH HEALER!)

DISCLAIMER-I OWN NOTHING!

CHAPTER 25

No one spoke. The tension between the three men raised up a notch. Sam looked from Dean (who looked vaguely like a deer caught in the headlights) to his dad (who smiled

encouragingly.) and his eyelids drooped. Dean watched him for a few minutes, as did John. The older man laid a restraining hand on Deans wrist. Only after the few minutes, when it

was clear that Sam had gone back to sleep, did he lift his wrsit. Dean released his breath which he did not know that he had been holding.

"With any luck he did not hear and if he did, he might not remember," John said, more to himself. John collected himself and gave Deans hand a squeeze.

"I know that this is hard for you but can I ask you to keep this from Sammy? For as long as possible?"

Dean chuckled mirthlessly. "It will be kind of hard but yeah I will. Sammy does not need this to deal with as well. He has to concentrate on getting better. Pastor Jim told me." Dean

explained. John nodded.

"We will tell him eventually but for now we'll concentrate on his recovery and fixing your heart." John made it sound awfully simple to Dean. Infuriatingly simple, like the last three

hours he had spent obsessing meant nothing.

"It is not as simple as 'fixing it' dad." Deans voice was quiet.

"It is Dean," John voice was quietly confident. Dean was glad of it. At least one of them was upbeat. "You have a problem. There is a way to fix it."

"They will put a machine in my heart dad. My heart! That is not the worst of it. If that does not work- I have to get a heart transplant." Dean's voice was quiet but loaded with

emotion. John nodded. "I would have to wait for someone to die so I could have their heart. I don't know if I can do that."

Johns heart was pounding. He did not let his fear show. His voice was calm. "yeah you can. None of those options are good, but it not an either or or situation. Dean you have no

choice. If you do not want to take someone elses heart, you are being stupid. You do so much good in your life. You save people Dean. You kill all the supernatural sons-a-bitch's

before they kill any other innocent people. I'm sorry if I do not care were your lifeline comes as long as it comes. You do not deserve to die."

"So it is me rather than them. I do not know if I can deal with that."

John frowned. "Quit being a martyr. Your are getting each and every surgery you need. Then you are going to get well. You are going to help me and Sammy hunt. You are going to

be happy,"John stopped for a second, "If you do not want to do everything you need to do to get better for us, do it for your mom. I know she does not want to see you for a long

while son. Live for her Dean."

"What would my life be like? I'd be Joe Normal dad. I do not know if I could live with that"

John was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Do you really think that i will be able to hunt? I will be useless to you and Sam. What kind of big brother will I be? How will i protect him?" Deans voice was bitter. "What will I

do?"