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Switched

Chapter 47

Beneath a warm Indiana sun, Chakotay removed broken planks from the porch of the old home he and Kathryn had made theirs. Even though the chances of Kathryn coming back were lessening every day, especially as the last missing police-ship had returned two days ago, he was not going to give up on her. If all police-ships had survived the wormhole, there was every reason to believe that The Delta Flyer had too. The waiting, the not knowing, was killing him, but keeping busy helped. He'd been discharged from Rylan Dock two days ago with a clean bill of health so he kept his mind occupied by working on the house. There were still so much repairs that needed to be done, so much paintwork and paneling, but the more that there was to do, the longer he'd have a distraction. Suddenly, Goldy began to bark in excitement and Chakotay turned around. He expected to see Gretchen or Phoebe, but instead he saw Kathryn. She was standing on the lawn, her hair blowing in the breeze, and was looking right at him.

"Working hard, I see," she smiled.

Tears blurred Chakotay's vision and the next thing he knew they were holding each other tight.

"Oh Kathryn," he said tearfully. "I've been so worried...so afraid I'd lost you."

"And me you," she said. "But you're ok. We're both ok. And I'm home."

"Yes," he said, burying his head in her hair. "And I thank the spirits for it."

"I knew you'd understand," Kathryn said, lying in Chakotay's arms on a soft sofa. "But leaving you, leaving Minessa, it was so hard. I hoped that we'd get Cayla back, I hoped with all my being, but I knew there was a very real chance that we'd die trying. And we almost did. Only seconds hung between us and death."

Chakotay closed his eyes, the very thought chilling him.

"It's true what they say," Kathryn continued. "When the ship was about to go up, I saw my whole life flash before me. I saw my father, my mother, Phoebe, and I saw you and Minessa. And I clung to the thoughts of you all, took comfort in them. Then I felt pain all over me and the next thing I remember is waking up on the Delta Flyer." She paused. "Minessa will be ok, Chakotay. Q effectively told us so."

"Yes," Chakotay agreed. "He did."

"The Doctor's going to re-implant her tomorrow afternoon. He's meeting me at HQ Sanatorium at four."

"Then I'll be there too."

"It shouldn't take long. Because of the injuries I received when I was attacked, I'll have to stay in for a couple of hours afterwards, just to make sure everything's ok, but then I can resume normal activities."

"Just nothing like climbing Everest," he teased

"Just nothing like climbing Everest," Kathryn laughed. "Or going on any more 'do or die' missions."

Chakotay kissed her hair. "You were so brave, Kathryn. It was such a brave thing to do to go out there and search for Cayla. Not many people would have done it. Vic must love her very much."

"He does. And Cayla loves him too. She's had such a hard time of it, Chakotay. Harder than any of us could have imagined. It's no wonder she's a little wild. But she has a good heart, a good soul, and I look forward to getting to know her better."

"So do I." He paused. "Does she know? That I was the one she beat up in Dallas?"

"No. And I don't see any point in enlightening her. She's been through enough."

Gently, Chakotay drew away from Kathryn. "Unfortunately, she's got more heartache to come. That is, if she doesn't already know."

Kathryn sat up. "What do you mean?"

"Apparently your mother has been exchanging letters with Erin, Lacey's daughter, for some time, and yesterday she received one from her bearing the news that Lacey died of an alien virus a couple of days ago."

"I see," Kathryn replied quietly.

"But you already know she's dead, don't you? Because Lacey was Taron."

Kathryn lowered her eyes. "You remember," she said.

"Not exactly. At least, not consciously. But when your mother told me Lacey had died, something just clicked in my mind, something that made sense of everything. And that everything was that Lacey was Taron."

"Yes," Kathryn confirmed. "But only Cayla and I know. We decided not to tell anyone because the truth with do more harm than good. It would hurt my mother, profoundly, and it would hurt Lacey's children. I know it's wrong for Lacey to never be exposed for what she really was, but Lacey's dead, Taron's dead, and what matters now is the living."

"Agreed. And I won't tell anyone. I promise."

Kathryn took his hand in hers. "I know that. I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't think you needed to know, not because I don't trust you. I trust you implicitly." She paused. "I love my job, I love it dearly, but the one thing I hate is all the secrets that come with it. Sometimes it's hard to draw the line between what is a professional incident and what is a personal, and sometimes there's no where to draw the line at all. But you understand that, don't you? You understand that I can't always share with you what's happened in my life?"

"Of course I do," Chakotay said. "Just as I know you understand the same with me. But if anything happens that you can't deal with alone, then I want you to share it with me. Promise me."

"Only if you promise me the same."

"I do."

Kathryn squeezed his hand. "Then I do too. " She hesitated with the next words. "And there is something I want to share with you, something I need to."

"Go on."

"The switch...Lacey and I...it wasn't an accident. I did it."

Chakotay flinched. "You?"

"I couldn't stop Cayla going back in time. It's a long and complicated story, but the short of it is that we ended up in 2332 and found ourselves in the middle of a temporal loop. Or rather I did as Cayla was out the whole time. The time-ship had gone up in flames on arrival and she'd been badly injured. Admiral Dawson came to our aid and it turned out that he was from the future too. He was there with my father to switch us after originally coming to unswitch us. As I said, it's extremely complicated. My father needed someone to help him with the switch, said the entire future of our world depended on it, and I had no choice but to do it. I stole into the special care unit, swapped me and Lacey in our incubators, and then left." Tears filled her eyes at the memory, at all the memories, and a stubborn one ran down her cheek. "In my life I've had to do many hard things, but that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It was harder even than telling my mother I wasn't her real daughter. But I had to do it, Chakotay. I really did."

"I believe you," he said. "But I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like or how you must be feeling."

"Strangely at peace," she replied. "When I first learnt about the switch I was devastated, totally gutted, but now, now I'm glad it happened. I'm sorry that I had to be the means of it, but as I had to be the means of it, I'm glad that I got to see my father again. I can't put into words what it meant to hold him again, to hear him tell me that I'll always be his goldenbird. I'm glad that Cayla exists, which she wouldn't do if I was who I thought I was, and I'm glad that we have the opportunity now to get to know each other. I'm sorry that my mother will never get to know the little girl she gave birth to, but considering how she turned out, that might be just as well."

"I'll second that," Chakotay said. "An evil like Taron's can't be created. It has to be in a person from when they were born."

"Yes. It's just hard to believe that a child made with such love as my parents had for each other could be so evil. But then, good wombs have born bad sons, as the bard says. It's just a tragedy because she was so clever. To make her squad go up with a wormhole was ingenious. If she'd used her brains for good, she could really have made a difference." She paused. "How has my mother taken the news?"

"I think harder than she's letting on."

"That would be right. She's very deep, keeps things to herself. I suppose in that way we're very alike. I had no idea, for example, that she was in contact with Lacey's daughter. But I'm glad. Erin and Eros clearly didn't have a sane mother in Lacey and from what Cayla's told me they don't have much of a father either. He's always been too busy to be a part of their lives. They deserve to have a good grandmother. Is my mother in contact with Eros too?"

"Not as far as I know. He's in space."

Goldy jumped up on the sofa beside them and Kathryn petted him. "Does my mother suspect anything?" she asked. "About where I've been?"

"No. She thinks you've been at a conference on Vulcan. And that's my fault. After you'd gone to Rylan Dock in search of Cayla, she contacted me wanting to know where you were. I said at a conference. Afterwards I couldn't say otherwise and she got it into her head that you were at the Galactic Travel one on Vulcan that has been getting some press."

"Sounds like Mom. She'll make five from one."

"Which reminds me, she's planned a bar-b-q for your birthday on Saturday. I told her you might not be home, but she insisted that you would be and went full steam ahead in organizing it. Your Aunt Martha is coming, Uncle Ned, Cousins Ronny, Terry and Mandy, Phoebe and Bill, Aunt Lizzie, Uncle Bert, Great Aunt Josephine, and Cousin Alison."

"In other words anyone who is anyone in my family," Kathryn smiled. "And there'll be some friends too. Rita Manton from down the road, Ellie Sanders from town, Richard Lewis from next door. I just hope she doesn't plan on having a cake with my age plastered all over it. Then I'll never get away with saying I'm 42."

Chakotay laughed softly. Then he fell serious. "How do you feel about your birthday?" With everything that had happened, it was bound to be a sensitive subject.

"I don't know," Kathryn replied honestly. "Last year my biggest worry was what ordeal Neelix would plan, but now everything's changed. Then my birthday was just an annual event that made me a year older, but now...now it's so much more. I can't even begin to processs my feelings about it. I suppose my mother feels the same, although it's got to be a lot harder for her than it is for me. For me it's still the day I was born, but for her...for her it has to be a reminder of the baby she gave birth to but never got the chance to love. No doubt she's doing this party for my benefit, to show me that nothing has changed, that my birthday still needs to be celebrated. She was always big on birthdays, always made them special. But it's got to be tough, especially after hearing about Lacey's death." Slowly, she got to her feet. "I'd better go and see her. She'll want to know I'm home and I want to see how things lie."

Chakotay stood also and kissed her forehead. "I'll make dinner...something really special."

"No need," Kathryn said. She pulled out an envelope from her pants and handed it to him. "Surprise."

Chakotay took the envelope and opened it curiously. "A hotel pass," he said. "For tonight."

"And not just any hotel pass. It's for The Regis, the most luxurious hotel on the Emerald Coast."

Chakotay looked up at her. "But how did you get it? This place is booked up for years."

"Let's just say I pulled some strings."

Chakotay smiled, dimples showing. "This is wonderful. Thank you."

Kathryn smiled in return. "Well, we never did get to go so let's go in style."

Chakotay opened his arms to her. "No arguments from me."

Kathryn happily stepped into his arms and they held each other close.

Gretchen was in the kitchen, working busily on a flower display, when Kathryn arrived at her childhood home.

"For the party, I gather," Kathryn said.

Gretchen looked up at the sound of Kathryn's voice and her whole face lit up. "Kathryn," she smiled. "I knew you'd be home, I knew it."

The two women embraced and then Gretchen went over to the replicator. "Coffee? Decaff?"

"Lovely," Kathryn replied.

"I've been planning the party for ages," her mother said, manually replicating two coffees, "ever since you got home. So don't you dare say you don't want it. I've missed your birthday for seven years. That makes a party compulsory. I've only invited close family, mind. No friends this time, except Rita, Ellie and Richard next door. But you invite whoever you want."

"I think I will. The Voyager crew love parties."

Her mother's face fell at that, but the twinkle in Kathryn's eyes told her she was joking. "Oh you," she laughed. She then handed Kathryn a coffee and Kathryn took it.

"I know I've never been one for parties," Kathryn said cautiously, "but perhaps this year the real question is not whether I want a party but whether you do. You don't have to do one for my benefit. I know how hard my birthday must be for you. And if it was going to be hard enough before, it must be even more now. " She paused. "I'm sorry...about Lacey."

"It hurts," Gretchen replied. "It hurts that I'll never have a chance to get to know her. But as I never knew her, the grief isn't the same as what I felt when Voyager went missing. I was absolutely devastated then. It sounds terrible, I know, but you're the one I think of as my daughter and I can't change that. I can't change a lifetime of love." She paused. "As as to your birthday, I want us to celebrate it. It's the day you were born, Kathryn, and that's what we've always celebrated...the day you were born. It's never been about my having given birth. It's always been about you. Just because we know now that another woman gave birth to you, doesn't make the gift of your life any less special. You know I've never been a religious person, but I do believe in God. And I believe that for whatever reason, God orchestrated things so that I got to be your mother. To me that means I was always meant to be your mother, that it was part of the great plan from the moment the Earth came into being." Tears filled her eyes. "I'm so thankful for your life, Kathryn, and I want us to celebrate the gift of your life every birthday."

Gently, Kathryn put her hand on her mother's shoulder, tears in her own eyes. "I'm so thankful for you, Mom. I'm so thankful that I got to have you as a mother. But I don't want you to think that you have to act like the circumstances of my birth don't matter. They do matter. What we know now has changed both our lives forever. But those changes don't have to be for the worse. They can be for the better. I don't want you to feel you have to hide your growing relationship with Erin from me and I don't want to hide my growing relationship with Cayla from you. I want Cayla and Lacey's children to be a part of our lives. Not my life, not your life, but our lives. I want us to be one family."

"I'd like that too," Gretchen said sincerely.

"Then let's invite Erin and Cayla to the party. I know Erin might not be up to a party, especially one on her mother's brithday, but we can ask her."

"I suppose we can," Gretchen replied. "And I think she'll come. I get the impression she was never close to her mother. She and her brother were put into a boarding school at a young age and hardly ever saw her. But if they do come, then everything will have to be brought into the open. Are you ready for that?"

"Yes. And it isn't as if the party will be a public broadcast on FWN. Aunt Martha already knows, as does Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Bert. And that most likely means our entire family does too." She paused. "But are you ready for it?"

"I am."

"Then let's do it," Kathryn said, taking her mother's hand in hers. "Let's be one family and show everyone we're one family."

Gretchen nodded with a smile and squeezed her daughter's hand. "One family."

After a delightful swim in pristine waters, Kathryn and Chakotay dined together on a high balcony of The Regis hotel. They were both smartly dressed, Kathryn wearing a low cut gown of green satin and Chakotay a white shirt over beige pants, and they gazed at each other as much as they gazed at the beautiful Floridian beach beneath them. In the russet light of a setting sun, the waves sparkled crimson as they lapped a golden shore, and clouds hung like red ribbons in the sky. It was truly a paradise.

"It's so beautiful here," Kathryn said, looking at the sea. "Like sitting in a picture. I'm not surprised this place is booked out."

"I love the ocean," Chakotay replied. "I love its glory, its magnificence, its raw power. There was nothing I loved more when I was a boy than swimming in the sea. I'd walk the five miles to the ocean almost every week just to feel its energy."

"Then you'll have to take me there when we go back to Trebus. I want to see where you swam, want to visit every where that is special to you."

"Ditto," Chakotay answered. "But as glorious as this place is, and as luxurious as this hotel is, I'd be just as happy sleeping in a hut in the middle of nowhere so long as you were with me."

Kathryn smiled. "And me you."

Chakotay reached into a pocket of his jacket, which was neatly resting behind his chair, and pulled out a small white velvet box. "This is for you."

Kathryn took the box and opened it eagerly. Inside, nestled in silver satin, was a gold locket. It was shaped like a heart and was set with a sparkling diamond. Carefully, Kathryn opened the locket and found it contained a picture of her and Chakotay.

"I love it," she said. "Thank you."

Chakotay smiled and they gazed at each other for a moment. Then Kathryn lifted her locket out of the box, intending to put it on, but when she put it around her neck and tried to close the clip, it got stuck in her hair.

"Allow me," Chakotay said.

He got up, went over to her, and gently fastened the locket in place.

"How does it look?" Kathryn asked, turning to him.

"Stunning," he replied. "Just like you."

Kathryn smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Careful, Mister. Flattery might get you everywhere."

Chakotay smiled in return and slipped his arms around her waist. "I hope so."

Kathryn laughed and then they kissed softly.

END OF CHAPTER 47