It was still unbearably hot so Jake's was even more crowded than usual with people trying to beat the heat. Lucky avoided being shoved forward and dumping his drink by keeping one hand on the table at all times. Making sure taking an actual drinking his drink wouldn't result in him wearing it, he took a cautious sip. "How's Robin? I heard she was out of the hospital." he asked Patrick.
"She hid her crutches."
"Which translates to what exactly?"
"I don't know. The last time I saw her, she was stumbling from place to place."
"Trouble in paradise already?"
"Is this paradise? That must explain the heat." Patrick scoffed.
"Avoiding, Drake. Not a good move."
"She's mad at me for absolutely no reason at all."
"Patrick, women are always mad at you for a reason."
"I don't know what else I could have said."
"What did you say?" Lucky wondered.
"Exactly what she wanted to hear."
"Why do I think that is where it all went wrong?" Lucky groaned.
"I figured she wanted some sort of commitment, so I offered her one. Next thing I know, she's yelling at me and demanding that I get out."
If he would have taken a sip at that exact second, Lucky would have spit it right across the table. "You offered her a what?"
"A commitment of sorts."
"Why does your idea of commitment scare me?"
"I knew she would never agree to no-strings sex, so I tried another approach."
"Tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't."
"Tell you I didn't what?"
"Tell me you didn't offer monogamy just to get sex."
"Of course not. I just wanted to get her comfortable with the idea."
"You do realize you sound insane right?"
"How am I insane? It's a mutual attraction and I know she's been through a lot."
"It's a mutual attraction with your ex-sister-in-law that up until a few weeks ago you very publicly bad-mouthed every chance you got. You're part of the stuff she's been through!"
"There's a lot you don't know."
"Do I want to know?"
"Let's just say I'm getting a taste of some of the things she's going through, things that normally wouldn't involve me."
"I'm re-phrasing the question. Is this something I need to know?"
"It's about Robin's accident."
Cruz ambled up to the table slowly, looking to rest of the world that he wasn't freaking out. When Lucky had invited him out tonight, he had figured that once again, he would be waiting on his friends. He glanced at his watch and confirmed he wasn't late. By the looks of things, both had been there awhile. This wasn't good. The two of them meeting without him often involved public humiliation of some sort. Deciding a joke was the best way to approach the situation, he greeted his friends. "Did hell freeze over? No way you two beat me here."
"We thought we should start early." Patrick pushed a Corona toward Cruz. "Hear you're into light beer now."
Cruz narrowed his eyes in Lucky's direction. "How long did you wait to spread that news around?"
Lucky held up his hands in mock surrender. "I was just concerned my friend was making major life changes without telling anyone. Sue me for caring."
"I changed my drinking habits not my career."
"You gonna join us or stand there and whine?" Patrick teased.
Cruz sat down and took a swig of the offered beer. "So what had you two in deep discussion?"
"Nothing important." Patrick assured him.
"Yeah Patrick's love life is never important." Lucky chimed in.
"How is Robin then?" Cruz teased.
"Hell if I know." Patrick grumbled.
"They're not talking." Lucky mock stage whispered to Cruz.
"We should be sensitive and not discuss any further." Cruz replied in mock seriousness.
"We should. Although it mostly like is his fault she's not talking to him."
"Well of course it is." Cruz nodded.
"It's good to know that I can count on my friends to kick me when I'm down."
Raising his glass in a toast, Lucky smiled as he clapped Patrick on the back. "If you can't count on your friends who can you count on?"
"We can't all engage in secret relationships."
"An excellent point." Lucky turned and looked right at Cruz. "Care to elaborate on that idea buddy?"
Stalling for time, Cruz took another drink. He should have known eventually it would come around to this. They had laid out a trap and he had stupidly walked right into it. He hadn't even talked with Bobbie yet about going public and here he was faced with lying yet again. He decided to go on the offensive. At least until he decided exactly what he wanted to do here. "Well we can't all find dates through parent-teacher conferences now can we?"
"Ooh, low blow." Patrick licked his lips and took a long pull of his beer. He wasn't opposed to getting shit-faced, but it was still early.
"Hey I can admit to having a second date lined up. You didn't answer the question."
"When do you see her again?"
"Tomorrow night."
Cruz leaned towards Patrick. "Remind me not to talk to him for the next three days or so. He'll be all annoying and mushy-like."
"Can you blame him? Have you seen Elizabeth?"
"Only soaking wet in a bathing suit, but now that you mention it, you do make an excellent point."
"Are you two quite finished mentally undressing her yet?"
"Wait...wait...okay done." Patrick replied.
"Besides, we weren't talking about the woman I'm seeing. We were talking about the woman Cruz has been seeing that he keeps denying exists."
"There is that." Patrick stroked his fake beard, resembling the Godfather.
"You look like a moron when you do that." Cruz pointed out.
"Still stalling." Lucky responded. "It's not going to work."
"You ever wonder what would have happened if you'd taken a stab at law instead of music?" Patrick asked Lucky.
"Given my dad a heart attack and gotten myself disowned?"
"Hey Luke likes Alexis and she's a lawyer." Cruz pointed out.
"Yeah but she's a Cassadine and she's dating Mac. He considers it further signs of her mental instability."
"Do me a favor. Don't mention any of this in front of Mac. I don't need another reason to get beat up tonight."
Lucky snorted. "Like my dad keeps any of his opinions to himself. Trust me, Mac and Alexis know what he thinks."
"Back to Cruz's mystery date. Is she too young to drink? Is that why you've switched alcohols on us?"
"Yes please tell us we won't have to bail you out of jail or find you a lawyer."
Cruz shook his head. "What is with your obsession with one of us ending up in jail?"
Lucky shrugged. "It's Port Charles. It's bound to happen sooner or later. But she is legal at least right?"
"Do you think I'm a total pervert? I wouldn't date someone underage."
"So she's at least 18 then?" Lucky guessed.
"There goes my dream of Chuck E. Cheese passes."
"I'm lost."
Lucky rolled his eyes. "He's hoping to stall again by bringing in Elizabeth's second job. She works at Chuck E. Cheese during the summer."
"That explains why she's attracted to you."
Lucky paused and looked thoughtful. "No wonder he's been able to keep this secret for however long he's kept it. He's incredibly skilled at distracting us."
"I thought only shiny objects could do that."
"That only works on the women you usually date."
"You might as well tell us. We're going to figure it out." Patrick assured Cruz.
"Oh really?" Cruz leaned back in his chair. "Like you've been so right before?"
"Robin and I got pretty close the other night."
"You know nothing." They may have gotten close, but they hadn't seen anything.
"Luke caught up with us at the restaurant and spooked you."
"Hello. Restaurant? What restaurant? What about my father and a restaurant?"
"Robin got us into the kitchen and then we spotted Cruz and his date sitting at a table behind some unnaturally tall plant."
"Damn vegetation. How does my dad fit into all this?"
"He caught us spying."
"Yelled a lot, didn't he?"
"Yes and completely ruined our chance to surprise Cruz."
"I'll get mom to yell at him for that." Lucky turned his attention back towards Cruz. "So you see we will figure this all out. I mean we already know a lot."
"Oh please." Cruz rolled his eyes.
"We know she exists despite your claims to the contrary." Lucky ticked off.
"There must be a reason he's keeping her from us."
"Is she ugly?" Lucky guessed.
"I'm not that shallow." Cruz defended himself.
"Cruz, this is us." Patrick reminded him.
"Yeah. Weren't you the one who dumped that Amber chick because she died her hair green?"
"It was fucking green! How could I take her out in public with green hair?"
"My point is we still got to meet Amber, green hair and all. What the fuck is the problem with us meeting this one?" Lucky argued.
"Amber was a girl I barely dated in college. That was different. She lived a floor up from us."
"So this one lives on the other side of the moon then?" Lucky offered. "Is that why you are rarely home anymore?"
"How many weekends have you lost with this girl? I only ask to determine how serious this is."
"You two are worse than Foster and Roul fighting over the last bone from Thanksgiving."
Lucky shrugged his shoulders. "Then you should recognize it and just tell us what we want to know."
"Oh for the love of God!" Cruz groaned, putting his hand over his eyes. His head was throbbing and he knew it was just going to get worse. Part of him wanted to do nothing but jump and run from the table. A juvenile but completely effective way of ending the conversation. A second part begged him just to come clean, tell the truth that he was actually dating their aunt and that was the reason they hadn't introduced them. Still a more reasonable third part pointed out he hadn't exactly broached going public with Bobbie just yet and he should probably tell her he wanted to before exposing them to her entire family.
"Somebody's flustered." Patrick crooned, looking quite pleased with himself.
"An interesting turn of events for someone who has nothing to hide." Lucky nodded his head in Cruz's direction.
"Brenda, we're going to need something a little stronger than Coronas." Patrick called, peeking behind the bar. "Where's Brenda? I haven't seen her all night."
Cruz shrugged. "Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her in awhile."
"But this is her bar. I'll be the first to admit, she's a big of why I come to Jake's."
"There's the understatement of the year." Cruz looked over at the burly man standing in Brenda's place at the bar. "No offense to Sven there, but it's just not the same looking at him."
"Wait...I know! It's Brenda! Brenda is your secret girlfriend!" Lucky pounded his fist on the table with excitement.
Patrick gave Lucky a sideways look, but remained silent.
Cruz gave his friend a look of pure pity. "Are you terminally stupid? If I was dating Brenda I would announce it on the cover of my own magazine."
"It was worth a shot." Lucky defended himself. "You've never kept any woman you've dated a secret. Ever. We've always met every single one, no matter how short term."
"You've not met all of them."
"No I think it's all of them. You held out on Nicole for awhile but that was because she was also dating that football playing steroid abuser." Lucky paused as a revelation came to him. "Wait a second. That's it!"
"Do you keep them hidden in a secret vault?" Patrick wondered, missing his cousin's sudden outburst.
Lucky hit his cousin in the back of his head. "Pay attention would you? I figured it out!"
"You did?" Patrick asked, rubbing his scalp and pouting.
"Listen to me. The only one we didn't meet right away was seeing someone else at the same time. So obviously he must be keeping her secret. He's her dirty little plaything! He's somebody's side action!"
"Did you start watching soaps again?" Cruz wondered.
"Is that it?" He asked Cruz.
"No." Cruz answered, a little too forcefully.
"Oooh, touchy." Patrick chuckled.
"So this other guy? Does he have a neck? Will he kill you if you are discovered? Do I need to send a security detail over for you?"
"Cancel his SoapNet will you?" Cruz pleaded with Patrick.
"I have to ask the all-important question." Patrick told him.
"Oh good Lord, what's that?"
"Is she good in bed?"
"Yes. Because if she is, well then by all means share. Anything goes in the pursuit of good sex right?"
Cruz bit his lip to keep his beer from being spit across the table. If they only knew the truth..."I'm not answering that."
Looking over at his cousin, Lucky nodded. "That's a yes."
"I didn't even say anything!" Cruz protested.
"And that says it all." Patrick replied, grinning.
"Completely." Lucky nodded.
"There is no stopping you two until you are satisfied is there?"
"It's your own fault. We never would have carried it this far if you had just owned up."
"Yup. Fess up and cleanse your soul." Lucky did an imitation of the preacher at the church Laura made sure they all attended every Christmas.
He had to tell them something that much was clear. "Fine. I am seeing someone. No she's not underage. She doesn't have a boyfriend or a husband. She's not ugly. I'm just not ready to have you two run her off just yet."
"Do you hear him? Like we would ever do that."
"Yeah we only run off the losers." Lucky defended.
"This one is different."
"Different how?" Patrick urged.
Cruz decided he was not nearly drunk enough to go into that just yet. "More mature. Watching you two try to belch the alphabet in Spanish will not help me with her."
"Hey that was one drunken formal in college!" Lucky protested. "And you were the one coaching us!"
"I had to get through Spanish somehow." Patrick grumbled.
"My point is when the time is right, you'll meet her but not before I have a chance to warn her about the two of you."
"She sounds like a snob." Patrick stated matter-of-factly.
"She's not. Just meeting you two is not something you drop the good ones into right away."
"'The good ones'? Do you hear this guy?" Patrick took a long pull of his beer.
"It's worse than we thought. It sounds serious." Lucky shook his head. "And we are not that bad. We'd behave."
Cruz gave him an incredulous look over the top of his drink. "Then I guess Elizabeth will be joining us the next time we all go out then?"
Lucky opened his mouth and promptly closed it. "Point taken."
"Look you'll meet her. I promise. Now can we move on to something else to talk about?" Cruz asked.
"Lucky was just about to tell us about his date with Miss Elizabeth." Patrick declared, hopping behind the bar and grabbing another beer for himself. Sven turned in his direction, but said nothing. "Now, go ahead." He waved his hand toward his cousin.
"Nothing to tell. We are going out tomorrow. End of story."
"That good huh?"
"You can thank me for the movie suggestion later." Patrick assured him.
"You can use the private listening party in the studio when Robin is talking to you again."
"Deal."
Patrick rested his chin in his left palm, looking dazed by all that was going on around him. He had one friend dating the Invisible Woman and the other trying his damndest to keep his girl happy. And he? He was moping and he needed to get out of here before he started mumbling like an idiot. Showing up at Robin's drunk would probably do irreparable damage. He just wanted to climb into a cab and go home. How was he going to get out of this conversation?