One Month Earlier:
"We're almost there," Jack whispered into her hair, as much to reassure himself as Sam. "Once we get through the clearing - "
Sam was barely conscious in his arms. "Leave me here, Sir," she rasped, coughing on blood. Her eyes were glazing over a little bit.
"Absolutely not." His voice was hard and clear despite the exertion.
"Sir. Please." She was begging him now. "I've lost too much blood. I won't make it - "
"Stop it." Jack fought to keep the panic from his voice. He could see Daniel up ahead, desperately trying to get the Stargate to engage. Teal'c, he knew, was behind them, keeping their pursuers back far enough so that they could escape.
Sam's head rested on his shoulder as she fought for what she thought would be her last words. "I don't want you to die because of me. Please. Jack." The effort too great, Sam closed her eyes and lapsed into unconsciousness.
Horrified that Sam was no longer moving, Jack somehow managed to run faster. If you don't make it, Jack thought, I won't want to live anyway.
Meters ahead, the gate roared to life. Jack choked back a sob of relief. Dodging one final weapons blast from their pursuers, Jack threw himself and Sam through the event horizon, Teal'c and Daniel hot on his heels.
The swirling blue dissipated around him as the gateroom came into view.
"MEDIC!" Jack yelled as they emerged, terror making his voice sound nearly inhuman.
Medical personnel rushed forward and relieved him of his fading burden. In a daze, Jack allowed her to be taken from him. The whole event was in slow motion, disconcertingly surreal: Sam, pale except for some of the blood escaping her mouth, unresponsive. Teal'c and Daniel at either side, panting in exhaustion, but distinctly comforting. And Hammond, looking as horrified as Jack felt.
The cacophony of the gate disengaging, medics rushing Sam, and random people running everywhere snapped Jack from his reverie. Sam.
Jack found his feet when the medics were a few feet away with her, and Jack desperately took off after her. In one swift, fluid motion, Teal'c's strong arms reached out and held him back. Adrenaline was almost enough for Jack to break free - almost.
"O'Neill," Teal'c rumbled in Jack's ear. "Major Carter is in very capable hands now."
Jack pushed against him. "I know that. But I have to make sure she's okay. I lo- " And Jack snapped his mouth shut, shocked at his own near-admission. How could he have let that almost slip? Hadn't he had been suppressing it for years? Jack looked down, hoping Teal'c couldn't see his horror.
"I know, O'Neill," was all the Jaffa said.
* * *
Jack had managed something resembling composure when he, Daniel, Teal'c, and Hammond met with Janet later for an update on Sam's condition.
Janet was all business, but the softness in her eyes gave her away. "She's lost a lot of blood," she said. "I had to give her two transfusions. But the wounds weren't infected, and I was able to stitch her up pretty easily."
Janet glanced toward the corner of the room toward Sam's sleeping form. "She'll be fine, but she'll need to stay here a few days." She turned brown eyes on Jack, seeming to see right through him. "You're lucky you got to her when you did, Sir. One more minute and I don't think she would've made it."
Jack turned away from the others and closed his eyes.
Janet's voice continued. "She needs quiet right now. Only one visitor at a time, please. And no longer than ten or fifteen minutes."
Everyone but Jack silently left the room, singularly deciding who that first visitor should be. Jack leaned on the wall for support and focused on keeping himself from hyperventilating. He realized just how close he'd come to losing her, and it took his breath away. After several minutes, he felt calm enough to lift his eyes in Sam's direction. Taking a breath, Jack approached her bed to reassure himself that she was, indeed, alive.
She was sleeping, her pale face gentle and unguarded. Jack closed his eyes in relief, then opened them again. Not caring if anyone was watching or not, he lifted his hand and gently stroked her hair. Sam sighed softly and murmured something as she shifted on the bed.
His name.
Jack nearly choked. As he looked at Sam's sleeping form in the infirmary, he made a decision that had been a long time coming.
* * *
It was time to pursue Sam.
They had worked together for years. Saved each other's asses and the world more times than they could count. Underneath the professionalism and work ethic were the feelings they hid from each other. Or rather, made pitiful attempts to hide.
Going back to the horrible scene in his mind, watching the light fade from her eyes as she fell, a lifeless heap Jack had managed to cradle before she hit the ground -
He realized in that moment what he had always known but forced to the back of his mind. He had almost lost her. And she could've died without knowing how deep his feelings ran for her. Jack shuddered.
Enough was enough.
Life was too short. And he was getting older now. As proud as he was of his career and as much as he loved it, he was ready to move on. He wanted to come home to someone at night, wake up next to someone in the morning. Share the everyday trivialities of life with someone.
Not someone. Sam.
Pursuing women had always been easy, almost effortless. Having a relationship, on the other hand, was a different story. Actually having to show emotions. Ugh.
But he would do it. But for Sam, and Sam only.
So it was time to make some decisions.
* * *
It was time to move on.
They had worked together for years. Saved each other's asses and the world more times than they could count. Underneath the professionalism and work ethic were the feelings they hid from each other. Or rather, made pitiful attempts to hide.
On leave a few days after being discharged from the hospital, Sam looked around her silent kitchen and desperately wished she wasn't alone.
Enough is enough, Sam decided.
Life was too short. And she was getting older now. As proud as she was of her career, she wanted a life outside of work. A family. Someone to come home to at night, wake up to in the morning. Share the everyday trivialities of life with someone.
Tears sprang to Sam's eyes unbidden and she wiped them away despairingly. She knew she had to say goodbye to Jack. No, to the fantasy of the life she wanted with him. It was not going to happen, and the longer she held on, the more she held herself back from having a real relationship. Someone who loved her. Maybe a child.
A rush of emotion struck her hard in the chest as she realized she was letting go of the one thing she wanted most in the world. Not just the man. The idea of what could have been. Fresh tears assaulted her eyes as she sank to the floor of her kitchen that evening. The linoleum was cold and bare against her cheek, the last sensation she remembered before she completely fell apart.
For long minutes she forgot herself, reduced to only grief and despair as heavy sobs racked her body and stole her breath. It was not fair. It was so unfair.
Eventually the tears subsided, even though the pain didn't. She opened her eyes and realized she was lying in the middle of the kitchen floor. With almost superhuman effort, she hefted herself off the floor back to a standing position.. Finding a roll of paper towels nearby, she grabbed one and inelegantly blew her nose. Alongside the pain, a feeling of resolve was growing.
It was time to make some decisions.