Author's Note: Hello! Firstly, thank you from all my might for all the answers to the chapter, as usual, they made my smile huge :D Secondly, sorry for the wait, my apartment hunting was a bit longer than I thought...

But here's another chapter, hope that to your liking. Only from Shizu-chan this time, a bit chaotic – it's 'just' him after all ;). Though, no fear, there will be Izaya bit as well in the next one if you love him as much as I ;D...

If you have any questions, ask them freely, no matter if in a review or in a PM, I'll read them all for sure and reply. Nice reading...

Bon Iver - Blindsided

"I come through the window
I'm crippled and slow
For the agony I'd rather know

There's a pull to the flow
My feet melt the snow
For the irony I'd rather know"

"IZAAAYAAA-KUUUN! Open the fucking door or I'm going to tear them out of their hinges! NOW!" I shouted like a madman, pounding on the item in question. A little more strength and I would leave cracks in them.

"No-one is home now, Shizu-chan, so it will be appreciated if you go away." I've heard a muffled answer.

What the...? He still dared to make an idiot out of me like that? He was going to pay for every little word and in a painful way!

"Shut the hell up! You think I'm dumb? I know you're here and if you won't let me in this instant, you'll look even worse when I'll be done with you then what I have previously had in mind!"

"I don't think I can agree to that. Bye, Shizu-chan!"

"Open up, FLEA!" I roared and finally snapped out of control that I've tried to hold on to. I punched the door and it left an imprint of my fist in them. One more time and a crack could be seen. A third hit and the flea's apartment stood open in front of me. I barged in without further ado.

"Where the fuck are you hiding, you bastard? I'm going to rip your head off and throw it to Arakawa!" I growled and spotted him after a second.

He was standing behind his desk, that flick-blade of his in one hand and a stupid smirk on his face. The city's lights from behind his back were blurring his contours a bit. He looked even more devious thanks to that.

"Hello, Shizu-chan. How nice of you to pay us a visit..." he said in his usual tone. I intended to change that expression for good today. He WAS going to pay! After everything I've suffered from during my walk here, there was no way I could leave without a satisfactory beating...

"Shut it! You know why I'm here, you louse! You've lost your mind! I'm gonna' make you regret your decision, but first I wanna' see you call it all off and I don't care how, you just fucking do it and it better work! Coz' I ain't be hearing all the crap anymore!" I spatted angrily, ready to strike any moment if he would try running.

I'd throw my crutches at him if I had no other way of stopping him. I didn't care about anything more at this point.

"Shouldn't one first start with usual pleasantries, Shizu-chan? And I must say, I have no idea what you're talking about... I cannot imagine 'the crap' you had to listen. Even if it seems so, I can't read minds... Shocking, ne~?" his sing-song voice teased.

"Don't even fucking start the denial, you louse! You knew very well how your idea will end and Shinra told me all about it! Thanks to you, some idiotic people had actual guts to stop me and tell me how sorry they are for me! And a freak of a guy offered to comfort me, do you fucking understand? Thanks to you, the whole town thinks I'm gay! I don't fucking want some sick propositions from strangers when I don't even fucking swing their way! You should be happy that I rode most of the way here or there wouldn't be any humans left in your district to fucking love anymore! Is that fucking clear enough?" I shouted, feeling my blood boil from the memories of my way into his condo.

I almost burst with anger when a loud, mad-like laugh greeted my ears. The flea...!

"Oh my! Shizu-chan! It had to be priceless! Guys hitting on you? My, some of the people are really fast and brainless!" he started laughing again and I almost crushed the crutches that I still had to lean on. Moment longer and he won't be laughing so easily! "It must have scared your guts! Are you afraid for your ass now? Such a strong brute like you? I can't believe it! You should be flattered that you have so many people after you... Maybe you should even take one of them up on the offer? You won't be so uptight then and who knows, it can even lessen your anger problems! Actually, I bet a good fuck will make you docile like a small sweet puppy!" he exclaimed happily, yet playing with his switch-blade and looking at me provocatively.

"You...! I'm going to fucking kill! I don't care for the rest! DIE FLEA!" I growled loudly, my anger finally getting the best of me, making me leave all the reason far behind.

Well, maybe there was some of it left as, knowing I won't be able to reach the bastard flea fast, I indeed threw one of my crutches at him, aiming at his head, to hopefully knock him unconscious. Life wasn't pink and rosy. I missed... Was it so bad, though? I'm not sure, as I hit what I knew was his computers' central port (my brother was surprisingly a bit of a computer fan, so even if I didn't know how to use things, I knew some of their names...). There was a loud crash, a few peeping sounds followed by a sizzling one that ended in a cloud of smoke filling part of the room. Then another sound could be heard – a loud shriek. The flea. I could see him through the smoke, moving fast in the direction of the damaged thing. Somehow, seeing him all panicked made me stop in my murderous attempts. I preferred to watch him squirm by himself for a bit...

"What the hell have you done you moronic protozoan! You ruined it! The data! If I won't be able to retrieve it, I'm going to fucking kill you!" he whined and I looked at him satisfied and amused for once. Maybe my misfiring was a good thing?

The louse moaned loudly – undoubtedly in despair. Oh yes, it was DEFINITELY a good thing...

"If there is a death in this apartment, it will by only yours, flea! You deserved it like no-one else... You shouldn't use your fucking tricks on me! Now you don't have your main tools of spouting shit about me on the Internet! That should shorten your obscene, perverted and devious tongue!" I told him with obvious satisfaction.

There was a moment of silence and then I saw him standing up from his crouched position, a cable with a plug-in in one of his hands. The smoke almost vanished by now and his face was clearly visible. If I was to be honest with myself – his expression was rather disturbing...

"Obscene, perverted and devious? How nice are you thinking of me, Shizu-chan... What? You use 'fuck' like a coma when speaking to me and I'm the obscene one? You must know what it means in today's world, now don't you? So if you're using it constantly, who is more obscene, huh? And look how many times you have actually told me 'fuck you'... Along with that kiss... it's more then suspicious, don't you think? You really must be in denial... Maybe I'm not spouting lies at all, Shizu-chan? Maybe I'm simply concerned for my chastity and well-being... Though, should it be that if I let you once what you really want, you will stop with your rampant chases after me? What should I do...?" he asked quietly, in a much lower voice than normally.

It reminded me of that one time at Shinra's and it was nothing good... In fact, I felt a rising panic. Why the hell I've thrown those crutches? Dumb Shizuo! Had to stay focused and firm in my act. I didn't come here to be the threatened one!

"One more word, flea and you'll lose more than that computer! I wasn't the one who started all this, it's all your fault! Who told you to step out of the line and try some stupid shit like playing my 'comforter' or whatever...? We would have stayed normal enemies and there wouldn't have been stupid games, but you went and ruined everything and still you blame me. Fuck you!" I answered with what I hoped was a frightening tone. I didn't think with the last one... I tensed, seeing the flicker in the flea's eyes.

"And here you go again with the fucking... So... Let me indulge you in your deepest dream, then..." he said slowly, ignoring the rest of my words. He opened his flick-blade again and started going into my direction slowly. I couldn't stop myself from comparing him with a black panther approaching its pray. Though... wouldn't I be the pray then? Things like that never were my forte...

"You stop right now! The only time I dream about you is when I'm killing you! Don't go too far in your useless imagination, like Shinra and Celty, and the rest of the fucking population of this city!" I pointed my finger at him warningly.

"Or what? You're going to kiss me as a punishment?" he didn't stop.

"That was something entirely else! I won't hesitate to use strength this time! I won't play right into your hand just like that time at Shinra's! You want to touch someone freely, find yourself a fucking lover and stop harassing me that way, because it's fucking insane and above all disgusting! And if because of your shitty attitude and freakishness no-one wants you, what is highly probable, then you can always hire someone for money, that's probably the only thing you don't lack!" I shouted.

It was a somewhat nervous blabber, just to buy myself some time and calm down, to look around and find something to throw again at the louse perhaps. To remind myself of the hatred I felt for him when he suddenly stopped and a flicker of emotion I wasn't able to name showed on his face. I could see his fists tighten slightly. I've managed to anger him again? My blind insults hit too close to home? No shit...!

"What, I've hit a sore spot, flea? Lonely much? Isn't it like a repeat from earlier? Guess it pained you some time ago, when I mentioned it, right? Poor little louse, almost always on his own, with no-one to lean on, to talk to and be listened without nothing in return... and the both of us know Shinra isn't the one to fill the gap..." I added maliciously, observing him cringe at my words.

When has it changed? Why was he so easy to see through? So easy to stir up? So... emotional? He was the flea – there should be no emotions to start with... Only hate that he so stubbornly named as love for the human race.

Suddenly, there was a 'thud' of a knife falling onto the floor and in a split second my cheek started to burn and ache in pain. What the fuck...?

A red and angered face of the flea filled my vision, one of his hands on the collar of my shirt, the other tightened in my hair rather painfully. What was he...? He hit me? Barehanded? He attacked me without using his precious knife? Hell... was he really fast! I didn't even notice him moving...

He had the advantage by the element of surprise, however... He would have punched me once or two times more before I'd have reacted... More importantly, why wasn't I reciprocating NOW? Should have killed the bastard the moment he touched me! Yet, irritatingly, once more something held me back... The strangeness of the situation? Again...? Why couldn't we come back to our usual years-long pattern? I craved for it, right? He had to crave for it as well...

"You should keep your mouth shut, brute... Aren't you in the fucking same situation as me despite all of your precious friends? In front of whom you collapsed and cried? Would that be the case if you had a person to 'lean on' for real? You would have been stronger then, but you weren't. There was no shoulder you could cry your pain and doubt on and not be afraid of showing you helpless side, to bare yourself, ne~? You're just as pathetic..." he told in the same lowered voice, yet it was much more grim. He wasn't even looking at me, he eyes fixed somewhere on my freshly bruised cheek.

I gazed at the hand clamped on my collar and saw it trembling lightly. And then, like a silly miracle it dawned on me, as Celty's words played in my head like a record – 'wouldn't it move him as well?' – what that flea did was not only out of spite. It was made to forget. To occupy his head with things other than our lately unbalanced encounters and what came out of them. A hazy and unfocused mind. Or rather focused on the wrong things... I've had the same problem. I wasn't totally stupid. I knew about it. I just happened to deal with it in a slightly different way than him...

And like an unwanted headache his words attacked my head. 'He was right, wasn't he, Shizuo?' - it whispered delicately. And oh boy, was he... I knew it the moment I saw him in my apartment that time and felt defeated. It was just the game of ignore that I wasn't so bad at... But what if? What if our problem was the same? We were two different persons. Two enemies that, by a strange string of events, happened to see their moments of weakness. It didn't have to change a thing... It could all stay the same or even give us a better weapon to fight ourselves. In the end, though, we struggled to use it. Every move ricocheted at us and distorted the situation more and more... We were downright lost now and somehow, I knew I was the first one to admit it. My pride have already experienced so much that it was easier maybe? I didn't fully comprehend it...

"Just as pathetic? So you're finally admitting it?" I asked shortly.

"Tch!" was the only answer I got.

"You know, I should kill you right now or at least give you a thorough beating... My cheek is aching, you little bastard..." I've tried again.

"No-one's stopping you, brute."

"And why is that? If you have already started..."

"I don't care!" he shouted suddenly. His grip on me tightening again.

Why had I to constantly ask myself what is happening when being around him nowadays? We weren't moving, trying to hurt each other. There was also no atmosphere as when he... kissed me or... when I... did the same to him. It was something... new. Different. I closed my eyes for a second or two, trying to grasp the situation.

"Fine, then I don't care as well..." I answered in the end, sighing quietly. I could see his head rising lightly to gaze at me.

"Why?" I heard. His eyes had a sharp look in them. Irritation?

"I don't think I have to explain myself. You've done enough to make my life a pain in the ass for at least a year, so be thankful you're in one piece still." I mumbled tiredly.

"Literally?" he asked, snickering quietly.

"What?

"A pain in the ass. Literally?" he repeated.

"Do you ever have enough? I am perfectly capable of protecting myself. It's the talking I can't fucking stand!" I rose my voice.

"I said I don't care, didn't I? There is no difference in me telling it or not then..." he shrugged his shoulders.

"And to think I considered you intelligent... That's in the past now, for your information."

"You... me? Don't joke! You hated me..." a muffled answer came.

"And what? Why would it stop me from having such opinion? You can be intelligent and an impossibly irritating little shit that I want to kill... Besides, why are you using past tense, huh? You think I don't hate you anymore or what?" I asked unbelievingly. The fact I didn't beat him wasn't necessarily...

"Tsk! My tongue slipped while speaking, that's all. You idiot..."

Now that made more sense, yet... it sounded like a lie when he told it. This was deep shit we were in...

"All is beautiful and fine, you can talk until the end of the world, however, I have enough of listening to it. I'm going home if your boy-toy stopped feeling like trashing the place and us in result..." a cold female voice announced out of the blue. What...?

I turned around and there she was, on the stairs. Yagiri-san. Or rather Namie-san, as Shinra called her. Great... Why have I forgotten about her existence? She have heard everything? Not so good. She saw me not killing the flea? Very, very not good... Was she going to be another on my list of people to 'shut up'? Besides, boy-toy? What the...? I felt beginnings of anger rising in my gut...

More importantly, the moment she spoke, I could feel Izaya letting go of me and stepping back, as if a lightening struck him. Have he forgotten as well...?

"What a pity, Namie-san... I wouldn't mind dying if it meant taking you with me. Such a fine company in hell, ne~?" he said to her, once again in his 'normal' Izaya tone.

"I wouldn't mind you dying as well, what a coincidence..." she replied to him hatefully while going down the stairs and reaching the door.

"Remember who you're working for, Namie-san. Keep your little sweet mouth shut, or it won't be a fifty percent pay-rise, but a cut and a shocked brother at that, is it clear?" Izaya informed her. Or ordered?

"Don't hesitate to give him a broken nose or better... jaw, Heiwajima-san. I'd would do us good." she looked at me and left.

What a woman. Had she no shame? Wasn't he her boss? Right... Why he hired her in the first place if she treated him like shit? Was he a sadomasochist or what?

"What? I have a third head, Shizu-chan?" his voice brought back my attention to him.

"I hate her and I don't even know her... Why the hell is she working for you?" I asked incredulously.

"I can't say it's unusual for you to hate someone on the first glance or so... And it's not your business. Maybe I like looking at her pretty face. When she shuts up finally..." he said.

"Beauty can't make up for such a lousy personality..." I retorted and saw him tense slightly.

What the hell? Again? It was too silly... I didn't event mean to get a reaction out of him.

"What an eloquent thing to say for you, Shizu-chan. I'd prefer for you to leave my apartment, however. You clash with the interior decorations..." I was enlightened by Izaya, as he unexpectedly gave me one of the crutches I've thrown at him earlier. Really...?

"So fixed on getting rid of me? What a change..." I snorted.

"I'm not comfortable of being alone in the company of a man that lusts for me." was his tart comment. Irritating little shit!

Ech... Was I repeating myself?

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to fuck you? Are you insane? Don't you insinuate that kind of things or I will kill you finally! I've already said it's disgusting! And I don't swing that way to top it all of!"

"You always do the talk, but... Tsk! And what? Have you even tried it to say it's disgusting? You tell that about a fruit even before you've tasted it? How... neanderthal... of you..."

"Or really? And what? You tried chopping your hand off to know it's not pleasant?" Izaya laughed.

"Shizu-chan... A real idiot? It's obvious that I've been hurt in other ways to know what can cause pain to my body. Though, have you tried it with a man, in any way, to know it's disgusting?"

Why was I talking with him about something like that? Why was I talking with him? Why was I still here...? My face started to heat up, I could sense it. Damn! So easy to fluster! I had to go... Just... leave Izaya to himself. Right... now. Yeah...

"Whose the idiot? With things like that you don't have to try, you just know... You know you're... attracted to someone or not before... you try... anything else..." I answered brokenly. Leave, Shizuo! Leave the fucking apartment!

"Oh my... You're such a prude, Shizu-chan. Can't you even use the word 'sex' or anything of the caliber? You're a grown man, aren't you? And about that... It's just your vision that it's disgusting. You don't know the real feeling itself, so you can't be sure it would be like that for you. People are surprising creatures... Something they considered disgusting or unsavoury, in the end can become addictive to them. I've seen it plenty of times..."

"You're sick..." was my only answer.

"What a novelty to hear from you, Shizu-chan. I don't think it has an impact on me anymore..."

"Whatever... How can you talk about it like that in the first place... You're a real pervert!" yeah, I know, a silly accusation.

Izaya's laugh confirmed it.

"I am simply a logical being. I just separate idea's about things, one's imagination about them from the real experience that gives full data about something. Secondly, I know, I've tried." was his final word.

"What?" I asked not understanding. I was too embarrassed and too cornered by him.

"For once try to think. It will do wonders... And it doesn't really matter. I'm not the one to give you sex education. Buy yourself a sex guide. Maybe it will be the first book you read whole..."

Sarcastic bastard! I've read books! Not many... but a fair share. I wasn't an idiot! And what's with that? I didn't need sex education! I'm not a kid!

"You're not? You could have fooled me, because with the current colour of your cheeks you look like a teenager having 'the talk'..."

I've said it out loud? Why wasn't I controlling myself? I knew it that it was the best for me to leave... And still my legs were like glued to the floor. Why am I still here?

"How should I know? I've already told you to leave... Maybe you like me indeed, ne~, Shizu-chan?" he sang almost.

"Shut up, Izaya!"

Since when I've called him by his name...?