Some Gelnan doctors had come in to see Jack, so Sam made an excuse and left. She could feel Jack's eyes trailing her as she left the room, and she resisted the urge to shiver.

Once in the hallway, she held the wall up for several minutes, trying to catch her breath. It was exilarating - and sometimes infuriating - the effect that man had on her! Her cheeks still felt hot. She closed her eyes and tried to center.

She could not give into this. She. Could. Not.

What the hell kind of game was he playing? Her resolve to move on was all but in tatters around her. Sam sighed. She should've known it was foolhardy anyway. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to tuck her emotions away – and failed.

She was able to regain her composure - somewhat - and finally started trudging down the hall, her heart beat still elevated. She would've waited until the doctors left to see Jack again, but she didn't trust herself to keep it together.

It was just as well, because her mind was reeling with what just happened. She replayed it over and over in her mind as she walked down the hall. Daniel was in the Gelnan library, and she wanted some company. And maybe, if she was brave enough, she would broach the "Jack" subject with Daniel.

Thank God for Daniel. He was one of her best girlfriends!

Sam made a left turn into the library, but there was no Daniel in sight. This was a massive room, nearly as big as the public library at home. She walked into the stacks and listened for sneezing. Nothing.

Wait. Sam stood very still. Soft footsteps muffled by lush carpet approached her from behind. Sam smiled and turned around. "Daniel, I really need – "

But it was Jornan.

"Oh! Excuse me," Sam exclaimed, realizing how this must look. "I wasn't snooping. Really. I was looking for Dr. Jackson, and I thought he might be in here."

Jornan actually smiled, which was a surprise. And a bit disconcerting.

Sam backed up a couple steps.

Jornan walked forward a couple steps.

Sam frowned. Something was off, and she put her guard up. Trying to sound casual, she said "Have you seen Dr. Jackson?"

Silence. The creepy grin was really starting to freak her out. That fact that he wasn't talking – not one word – frightened her just a little. She went to brush past him.

Seemingly without warning, Jornan pulled her forward by her shoulders and tried to kiss her. She gasped in surprise, then nearly gagged when he tried to shove his tongue down her throat. Twisting her head away, she managed to wriggle out of his grasp. He stepped forward toward her again. Disgusted, she shoved him away.

Sam spun around to leave the room. She'd made it two or three steps when she was yanked violently backwards by her hair. A crushing pain in her wrist quickly followed. Sam cried out and looked at him in surprise. Using her hesitation to his advantage, Jornan twisted her wrist violently again, the angle so painful she fell to the floor to alleviate the pressure. Jornan giggled a little, sounding slightly maniacal.

He was much faster and stronger than she had expected. But Jornan underestimated her strength and training. When he knelt down over her, she kicked him in the head, feeling a sense of satisfaction when she heard him hit the floor several feet away.

Sam jumped to her feet at stepped swiftly from the room, rubbing the offended wrist. What the hell? Satisfaction gave way to dread. What was this going to do for diplomatic relations? She wasn't wrong to defend herself, but they needed the naquedah.

This was getting complicated.

Sam hurried to find SG1, planning to discuss this with Hammond, or at least Daniel, when they were back on earth. She couldn't bring herself to discuss it with Jack.

* * *

Grief weighed heavily on Jack when they came back onworld. He trudged through the event horizon with his team, legs heavy and sluggish as tree trunks.

"Welcome back, SG1," Hammond said as he strode into the gateroom. He looked expectant. "How was the ceremony?"

He was looking at Jack, obviously expecting a report. Jack stared at the floor of the gateroom, oblivious to Hammond and the rest of the world. Jack's silence drew the stares of the rest of the team. He finally looked up when Hammond cleared his throat.

"Sorry, Sir," Jack said, the effort it took to speak was almost overwhelming. "Ceremony went well, everything's good."

Hammond furrowed his brow and looked to Sam for confirmation. She gave him a let's-talk-later look. He nodded.

"Are you okay, Son?" he asked Jack, genuine concern in his voice.

Again Jack dredged up the energy to speak. "Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir."

For a full minute the gate room and its occupants were silent. Jack knew his friends were wondering what was wrong with him. He wondered that himself. The fog surrounding him made it too difficult to speak. I was almost too difficult to stand. He could feel Sam's eyes on him, and knowing that he was worrying her just made it worse.

After Sam promised Hammond a full report by the end of the day, SG1 was dismissed from the gate room. Jack left looking defeated. A hot shower was definitely in order.

The hot spray was comforting. He closed his eyes and lifted his face toward the water, letting it dance onto his scalp and trickle down his face. The agony in his chest welled up, and he disguised a sob as a cough, surprised that he was crying. Covering his face with both hands, Jack leaned against the unforgiving tile. Why was he crying? The grief was deep, palpable. It was almost as bad as when he had lost Charlie.

But this wasn't because of Charlie. He searched his mind, but couldn't pinpoint the source. There was nothing. He was full-on bawling now, body racking with silent sobs, tears indistinguishable from the shower. He stayed that was for several minutes, willing the spray to soothe the nameless ache in his soul.

If anything, he should be happy. He willed his mind to go back a few hours to that moment with Sam before the doctors came in. Reliving those moments seemed to soothe him somewhat. Though the heavy pain persisted, memories of h took the edge off.

Finally he was able to pull himself together. He stayed in the shower for several more minutes, though. No way in hell did he want to look like he'd been bawling.

It was time for beer. Lots of beer, Jack decided as he toweled off and dressed. Ruffling a hand through his still wet hair, he turned to his locker and grimaced. According to the mirror hanging on the inside, his eyes were still very red.

Sunglasses, he thought, quickly digging around his locker. To his horror, Sam walked in a moment later. He turned his back toward her, silently praying she wouldn't talk to him

No such luck.

"Hey, Sir," she said, trying to sound casual as she approached her own locker. She seemed oblivious until his murmured response.

"What?" She said.

"I said goodnight, Carter," he repeated brusquely

Sam stood very still. "Sir." He felt her eyes on him.

He didn't move. Sam hesitated for a moment, then played her trump card. "Jack."

He couldn't ignore her after that. There was no way around it, anyway. Jack turned slowly around.

He watched her face change from concern, to shock, to deeper concern as she processed what she was seeing. "Sir, is something -"

So they were back to "sir" now. Feelings hurt now, Jack snapped at her. "No, Carter. Leave it alone." He started to march past her.

But she grabbed his shoulder and spun him back around, forcing him to face her. Neither of them breathed. For a moment they just looked at each other - Jack horrified, Sam worried. After an uncomfortable silence, Sam leaned forward and gently put her arms around Jack, melting into him.

Any other time Jack would've pushed her away – whether he was pursuing her or not. It was too dangerous to risk being seen. But this evening, he needed this. So instead of resisting, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to be held. The darkness receded to peace, and he sighed in relief, exhausted.

He felt one of Sam's hands on the back of his head. She pulled his head into the side of her neck, and he went willingly, closing his eyes and nuzzling her neck gently. He almost smiled when he felt her shiver.

Time seemed to stop for those few moments, until Jack reluctantly came back to himself. This was dangerous territory – and not only for his sanity. Anyone could walk in and they'd be hosed. It took all of his will to pull away, but he did it. He tried to put bravado on his face. "What was that for?" he asked, hoping he sounded casual.

Sam held his eyes. "You looked like you needed it," she said very softly, an attractive blush rising in her cheeks. She reached up with her other hand and touched his cheek, then flinched in pain and pulled back.

"What's wrong?" he asked, immediately concerned. But she just gave him a shy smile and walked past him toward the showers, holding her wrist.

Jack stood there for a moment after she left, still able to feel her against him. Then he quickly found his sunglasses.