Author's Note: Hi there, readers! This is a next update from me to you, from Shizu-chan's POV of course...

Thank you so so much for the reviews. They made my head spin and it was somehow hard to believe in all the kind words, but it made me more happy than ever... :D I also appreciate all of the other favs and alerts. I know that someone's reading my story then :D

No with the chapter, maybe you'll think it's too much of Shizaya goodness, yet being truthful... I'm not so horrible and hence, I vote for mutual satisfaction ;D

Read and see...

Damien Rice – Delicate

"We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate"

In that one moment, so short, yet magically expanded in time, I wasn't able to put a coherent sentence or thought together. The only thing that appeared in my mind for longer than a split second was the word 'good' resounding in my head like the sound of a bullet ricocheting from the walls of my skull. I was lost in the world of sensations. Lost, but not alone... There was this person that travelled along with me, or rather being always a step ahead of me, guiding me forward to the land of pleasure with a sure and gentle hand.

Izaya...

That one look he gave me, just before touching me the most intimate way – was something I couldn't stop recalling even in the aftermath of our... Ehh... What? Not lovemaking – there had to be the actual 'feeling' of love to call it like that, I suppose... And despite of the... passion and desire and... gentleness as well as tenderness... the need and the unhesitating consent that betokened an unspoken trust of kinds... and... S-Shit! Wasn't that... W-Wasn't that...

All of those... weren't those the signs of... love?

B-But... Impossible... There were no words exchanged between us, only bodies speaking to each other in a way, right? It was just... Just... Sex?

I exhaled shakily.

I've just had... sex. I've just had sex with... Orihara Izaya. I've just let him touch me. And I've just touched him, as well... Not a moment ago Izaya made me... He made me feel something... Well... incredible to be honest. I've never felt that way before, no matter how cheesy it sounded for a guy. To be even more honest... I haven't had an experience of the kind and so... I've let myself to be swept by it and him completely... It didn't matter that it wouldn't be classified as 'sex' by some, maybe not even by... Izaya, but for me it was...Even if it wasn't a full... Ehhh... intercourse...

Why was I getting embarrassed now? Thinking about it should make me less flustered than the thing itself, right? Yet, somehow... thinking about it with a bit more... clear mind and actually naming it... was... was something so new for me that I couldn't help my own state. Fuck! Idiot... I... I still had to actually move and... open my eyes that ended up closed in the end and... face... Izaya...

I could still feel a tingling sensation in my body, a certain weariness and warmth... I remembered the pleasure, though it would be impossible for me to describe it with words... I was sure my body was all red and... How was I to look at him after succumbing to him and giving him a free hand to touch me ad make a mess out of me? It was overwhelming...

It was Izaya...!

Though... wasn't he the one who started it... again? And... he let me touch him too... To kiss him and caress the naked skin of his back and... and... I was sure I touched his butt even... My fingers on his skin like that... He might have taken over the control in the end, however... he reacted to me as I reacted to him. And those feelings that I thought about first... His eyes bored into mine with such intensity and he held me with such easiness that... my fear of looking him in the eyes lessened...

It was Izaya... and in a twisted way... It should make it all easier than if it was someone entirely else...

Truthfully? I couldn't even imagine a scenario were I would do that with someone else than... him. And as far as that should scare me to death and make me want to crush the closest thing to me... it didn't... I felt only... peace.

And for a person like me, feeling peace was something surprising and still new, but nevertheless, longed for. It was refreshing. It was... great.

That's why I slowly raised my eyelids, uncertain and a bit anxious of a possible reaction and Izaya's expression, but not afraid of it and most certainly not going to act as if I wanted to ignore and forget what has just happened.

My vision was blurry first and I couldn't see Izaya's face clearly, though it was obvious he was looking at me too. The space between us got smaller and smaller during our encounter, as to become almost non-existent, and even now we haven't moved away from each other it seemed; not far away at least, only the smallest bit...

When I could distinguish Izaya's features finally, I was almost taken aback... The skin of his cheeks and partially neck still a light red colouring, glistening lips delicately parted and chest expanding with every intake of breath that happened to be slightly faster than normal. His eyes were focused on mine and looked as if he was in... awe; there was also a hint of uncertainty that would have made me uneasy if not for my firm decision of staying calm.

What was he thinking? He couldn't be disgusted by what we have done... I remembered his talk about... doing it with men. I didn't believe that he would be disgusted by the fact it was me also, putting being 'male' aside, as it was his own initiative, right? So...? What made that kind of expression to appear on his face? Was it... too fast for him? He didn't seem the type... Though 'seemed' could be the key word here... This in connection with it being me after all, but in a sense that he had to be thinking about the 'us - enemies' part, even if it changed a bit as of lately. It was Izaya after all...

I had my violence problem, yet in spite of that I happened to be rather the 'simple' type and didn't feel bad about it. Something shifted without me being able to control it, it was new, strange and felt 'unchangeable' and because of that I had more than one fit of anger, ending up confused. In the end I came to the conclusion that I was unable to lie to myself – maybe it was too complicated? - and ended up accepting most of it. Confusion still there, but hate excluded; now only irritation at the jeers that Izaya couldn't cease to attack me with. I wasn't the one to over-think the situation or motives. It was what it was... What I could see and sense in the current moment or what was based on repeating experiences. I needed one moment to realise some things for good and it could do. I had some things I was uncertain of course, my insecurities and such... But it was nothing major. I knew I wasn't going to kill Izaya as long as there was no... hmm... betrayal from his side, so to speak. I had yet to understand him as the other party of the whole 'ordeal' and that was okay with me. I could become pissed off, but was far from running away. Yep, couldn't deny a part of me was shocked at what I've just experienced... However, as my body and brain didn't seem disgusted, why should I mask the obvious and try to make myself believe that it was horrible? You could call me a man of instincts... They told me to reciprocate and obviously, I did exactly that without a second thought. I was a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed; had more than a one reason for that... Though, what felt good, felt good... And as the feelings that I didn't understand to some point lingered, I could only stay and wait for them becoming clearer...

Izaya on the other hand? If there was one thing I was certain about him, it was the fact of him being a man of 'reason', 'logic' – no matter how twisted it seemed, and 'knowledge'. Those things led to him needing an internal explanation for everything, putting pieces together to create a 'whole' and in the end ruling it all. Him and emotions were like strangers. Me on the other hand – I was ruled by them all the time, so maybe that's why it was less of a shock for me? All in all, he had to have a hard time coping with them... Denying probably, trying to go back to 'before' and such... Poor flea... It seemed that having a 'commoner's' mind was a bit of an advantage in this round...

"Why do you think so fucking much..." I asked finally, my voice strangely lower than usual.

He blinked, seemingly confused that those were the first words I spoke to him after what have happened. He opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out.

"It happened so let it be, Izaya. It won't kill you not to understand something for once..." I added in a hushed voice, caressing his jaw on impulse.

He gasped almost inaudibly and I could feel his hand moving, only now aware that it was still in my pants. It made me jerk lightly when he pulled it out, though I observed his expression change when he did it. His face tensed and I had to follow his gaze.

Oh... Well... His fingers were actually covered in... Ehhh... in my... cum. I could feel a blush appear on my cheeks immediately. That was... Ugh... more than embarrassing, but I didn't know a particular word to name it...

I turned to Izaya again. I was embarrassed. Him? His reaction spoke of other things, though embarrassment was among them, just not the leading one...

"I've just made a move on you... I've made you fucking cum!" he shouted suddenly, his eyes taking on a fierce expression.

I, on the other hand, blushed even more. Now that was unnecessarily blunt!

"What the heck...? You don't have to announce that out loud... I'm... I'm quite... aware of that... If you want someone to praise your abilities or something, I'm certainly not the person!" I hissed, fighting with the need to look away from him.

"That's not the point! I've made you cum... You! You of all people! This is insane... A kiss is not so serious, but this..." he waved his hand in front of me and I swear I became the colour of tomato by then.

That bastard! Had he no decency? What the fuck was he doing?

"This is what? You start with the 'enemies' talk and I'm going to strangle you! You didn't have to ruin my fucking mood! I knew it I was right! You and your idiotic pride or whatever other shit! Emotions will kill you if you're going to constantly deny them, not the other way around, you asshole! You made me cum, so what? Your hand is still there, isn't it? It didn't burn or anything... You were enjoying it while it lasted and it felt fucking good for me, so what? You will go and second-guess everything just to piss everyone, including yourself, off, right? You're a coward and that's that!" I declared in a hissing voice again.

Well... When I said I understand him to a point, I did. It seemed the bit about me irritating was very much true as well... And it really was putting me on the edge... Because what was that kind of attitude? He's going to announce some embarrassing stupid shit and then try to make things twice as uncomfortable? To his information, I didn't do uncomfortable good and so I had no intention of letting him change it to such... After my dead body! And I was still very much alive!

His eyes were gradually widening during my little talk and it made me happy. How was that, Izaya, huh?

"I... You said you weren't going to prise me..." was his only reply. He sounded kind of dazed...

And I? My brain must have stopped working for a moment... What the... And then I revised my own words in my head and fe twice as intensive heat on my cheeks and ears... and neck.

I said... I said that... It felt fucking good. Of all the things... F-Fuck!

"That's not the fucking point!" I exclaimed in distress and without much thinking, leant forward to hide my inhumanly blushing face on Izaya's shoulder.

He wasn't able to see my face that way at least...

His reaction was a bit surprising, however, as a gasp escaped his lips and he tensed slightly. Why? Was it so wrong to touch him now? He should have thought before doing... all the things he did to me...

"S-Shizuo... What... are you doing? Don't touch me!" he demanded in a broken tone.

I wasn't going to listen to him anymore than he listened to me...!

"It's you fault for making me say that!" I replied and my lips grazed accidentally against the side of his neck while I spoke.

I haven't noticed before, but... Shit! Should a man have such soft skin even? Maybe it was a specification of 'the flea'? And... was that a tremble? I couldn't help but wonder and so, had no other way to find out but to repeat my action. I let my parted lips touch his skin in a soft kiss, then another one and a third... It was... It was hard to stop while you've started it seemed. More importantly, he did tremble...

"S-Shizu-chan! Don't... S-Stop! I..." he pleaded but it came out really weakly.

Was it his true wish or only what he thought was right to say? What should I do? Why was he panicking over such a small thing? It was only his neck I was kissing, not as if I trie-

O-Oh... Oh! Was he... He did that for me and... I... And he...

I bit my lip anxiously and slowly move to meet his eyes. They were wide and a bit glazed over, but he was aware of my searching gaze.

I opened my mouth to speak, the same way he did earlier, and failed just as him to articulate my thoughts. It was... Fuck! It was embarrassing to ask what I wanted to ask even if certain things happened. How was he so fucking open about it?

Then a particular idea came into my mind and after a mere second or two of considering it, I decided that it was in a way less hard to execute... Ech... That wasn't an especially good way to put it, taking the actual idea and its purpose into account... Nevertheless, I was seriously about to do it... It wasn't anything to really fret about, right? Simple and definitely more innocent than Izaya's... previous... ministrations... I just had to... Just had to...

I took a deep intake of breath, not taking my eyes off Izaya and moved my hips forward; slowly, but deliberately. Me grinding against his pelvis made him breathe in harshly, his irises widening. He... He was hard after all... It shouldn't surprise me... It still did... Even though, just as before with my kisses, I repeated the move of my hips into his. Izaya gasped this time, his hands suddenly finding hold of my bare shoulders, digging into them.

"Shi-Shizu-chan... It's... You can't..." he whispered, yet tightened his grip with my another move, stronger this time.

I didn't... I didn't think it out that well. Didn't take into consideration the possibility of it making me... excited all over again... Is this... like a never ending circle or what? - I asked myself, trying to clear my slowly fogging mind. It wasn't my intention at all! I inhaled deeply once more.

"What is it that I can't?" I asked him quietly. "Doing the same as you did... to me? Isn't it... Isn't it only fair?" My whisper ghosted near his ear.

I might have been... shy, but some things just... They seemed to work along with the flow...

"It's not about... being fair. It's..." he broke at the beginning of the sentence and blinked a few times. Trying to compose himself?

"So what is it about then?" I continued with questioning, my hands finding their way into the small of his back and delicately pushing him closer into me.

I felt a small pang of pleasure and he must have as well, as his fingers clenched at my back again.

"Stupid protozoan... I don't know anymore!" he managed to hiss and it was as much angry as defeated.

"Then let it be until you can finally understand... I think it's just... a matter of time..." I answered in a hushed voice.

My fingers started to draw circles where they rested; slowly and gently, as if to calm. How was it that from the two of us it was him who needed reassurance? Wasn't it me who was so easy to break into pieces? How was it that I felt the need to hold him when he was as fast to pull me in as to push me away? And how was it that a man, and him of all men, was able to stir not only my emotions but also body to life? And why despite my usual shyness, embarrassment and probably inexperience I was going to do something I've never had before? For him... All the answers were foggy. Somehow... I wasn't in need of more.

I pulled a fraction away from Izaya, our hips no longer flush against each other. My right hand started a short journey to rest at his left hip, my thumb slowly caressing the soft skin there. Izaya's eyes expressed uncertainty once more and I smiled warmly, comfortingly, though a bit nervously.

"Just... Let me. And... if you'll hate it... stop me." I said shortly, in a lowered voice.

I knew it from first hand and he was surely aware that I haven't touched a guy in any intimate way before and I wasn't to count Izaya here... It was normal I was a bit nervous, right? I was about to make a step to unfamiliar grounds. I wanted to do it, though... I couldn't leave it like that for some reason. If it was the part of me that liked being fair or simple curiosity, maybe even me in need of making him understand and see for himself how it felt... It all didn't matter.

"Izaya..." his name came past my lips and his orbs gleamed in an intensive earthly-red hue.

"Shizu-chan..." was his answer to my soft call and my hand at his back squeezed lightly.

Then my right hand slid from the place on his hip under his silky in touch pyjama pants and, trembling the slightest bit, moved passed the hairs it found there and rested on the hardness starting below. Izaya took in a shaky breath and it made my heart sped up. And so I didn't wait any longer, but remembering his touch on me, gripped him more tightly, only to start moving my hand. First slow and then faster strokes as his breath started to grew more audible. It was strangely teasing my ears.

Was that what he felt when touching me? The awe of being able to pleasure the other one, seeing all the reactions to the touch that warmed the heart and excited... The intimacy of the moment. The shared heated gaze. The feel of strangely delicate skin in contrast with hardness under the moving fingers. The ragged breath and muffled sounds. The warmth... And when the fingers on my heated, bare back dug into the skin there, looking for... an anchor? It was too much to stay calm. One couldn't observe it all coldly, like a spectator. I felt the tension raise in the both of us. It was all so surreal and yet so... here. So real. The face in front of me contorting in pleasure was like a picture ready to frame and marvel at, though only in privacy. It was nothing to share with, as it would most surely lost its value then... And I wasn't even one to like pictures; still, I wasn't able to turn away.

Izaya's fingertips grazed over my back suddenly and a half-choked, broken cry escaped him; one that he wanted to die out in his throat. My fingers were coated in warmness and I hid my head in the crook of his neck again, happy like an idiot. Or was I actually a little proud? Really... stupid.

There were no words exchanged for a couple of minutes. The tension dying down slowly, as well as the rapid beating of our hearts. Izaya's grip on me lightened and his hands slid down to my lower back as if there was no strength in them.

I chose that moment to take a look at his face and smiled with the corner of my mouth when no animosity was found in his stare. He was still tensed though, even after what I've done. He was going to start thinking again... He shouldn't. Not yet... Why was he so stubborn? I had to change the focus of his mind. Anger him maybe... Anything...

"I've made you cum!" I announced blatantly, though my cheeks went red of course...

His mouth opened wide in disbelief.

"What the... I'm going to kill you, brute! By sheer newbies luck!" he hissed and somehow gathered the energy to slap the back of my head faintly.

"I'm looking forward to it..." I replied, and this time it was he who hid his face in the crook of my neck.

Not that I was going to announce it – wouldn't be helpful at all, however... Even if it was luck... he didn't stop me...