Robin let herself into the loft, rolling her shoulders to try and relieve the tension she held there. If she wasn't careful, she was going to go over to the couch and pass out. There were so many things to be done, so many decisions to make, but her brain was mush. She thanked God that they had been on the jet instead of a commercial flight otherwise they surely would have slept through it. Using the doorway to hold her steady, she took each shoe off and threw them across the room. The phrase "dead on your feet" would have been a welcomed feeling right now. She barely made it to the couch without collapsing.
Her cell phone crashed to the ground, but she couldn't bring herself to bend down and retrieve it, couldn't bring herself to care. The purse slid off of her shoulder about the time she closed the door and she left it next to the phone. Her bag dragged behind her like a lead weight though she was certain she had packed almost nothing. Patrick had been sore about her not showing off the sexy lingerie she had hinted at, but she had insisted that she had forgotten it at home. She had made one concession; she had stolen his oversized T-shirt and worn it to bed.
She and Patrick had shared a cab back to her apartment and she had somehow convinced him to go back to his. He had grabbed her when she had started toward the apartment, claiming that she had forgotten something, and held her against the door of the cab. His warm body above her and the cold yellow door behind her, Robin had completely surrendered to his mouth, his hands, and his body. The fact that the cab driver was right there watching hadn't rendered Robin embarrassed and, if anything, it had made Patrick completely arrogant. It was only when his hands slid up her shirt did Robin find herself pulling back. There was a time and a place for fondling and outside on a street corner with any kind of audience was not it.
The message on her cell phone this morning had been from Elizabeth informing her that Morgan had gone home with Courtney last night. Robin hadn't put in a call to confirm this, because she had seen her roommate's car in the garage when she was crossing the parking lot. It didn't strike her as strange that Courtney had gone to get him, only that she hadn't called to tell Robin herself. Elizabeth was suddenly the in-between. This alone should have prepared her for what was to come.
Flawless as usual, Courtney crossed the living room and took a seat in her chair, one perfectly tanned leg crossed over the other. She set her hands in her lap and took in Robin's disheveled hair with mild interest. The deep frown she wore had morphed her face into something ugly and Robin couldn't help but blanch. What was the matter? Why did she look so angry? Courtney never took anything to heart, so something must have happened that Robin didn't know about. She had never been more afraid to strike up a conversation with her friend than she was now. Clearing her throat, she braced her hands in her lap, and said, "You got in last night?"
"Yes. Your mother is looking for you. You might want to give her a call." Courtney replied distantly.
"Did something happen?" Robin asked tentatively, placing her hands under her lap to keep from digging her nails into the fabric of her Capri's.
"You tell me, Roby." Any other time, Robin might have taken the use of her nickname as a good sign, but the strained way her friend said it caused all the blood to rush to her head, leaving her feeling dizzy.
"Is Morgan upstairs?" Robin wondered, glancing behind her.
"Yes, but he's got the TV on loud." Courtney's answer implied that she had it in her to start a screaming fight.
Elizabeth must have told Courtney about her and Patrick. Her tight posture and unflattering expression more than supported the theory. Robin was going to have to bite the bullet. Taking her hands out from under her, she folded them together and lifted her gaze to meet her roommate's. "Patrick and I went on a date." At Courtney's scoff, she continued, "I know you already knew that, but I wanted you to hear it from me."
"For what reason? Do you feel noble being the second person to tell me instead of coming to me in the first place? How long did you really think you could keep this a secret?" Courtney was talking so fast, Robin bet she was the only person alive who could translate it into anything more than a string of mumbles.
"I didn't try to hide anything. If you'd asked--" Robin began.
"Because you and Patrick is suddenly an obvious thing? You've only expressed bitter hatred for him for the last five years. I wonder why I can't just accept this." Courtney snapped.
"That's not fair." Robin pointed her finger at Courtney in warning. "I didn't keep this from you."
"Skewed reasoning will not get you out of this." Courtney assured her.
"I'm not trying to get out of anything. Up until yesterday, I didn't know that Patrick and I had anything in common…" Robin explained.
"But now you do? One date and you're both ready to commit to a relationship? Robin, come on." Courtney pressed.
"No. I never said commitment." Robin shook her head. "We have fun together."
"Don't sell yourself short. You're worth a lot more than this." Courtney insisted.
"A lot more than what?" Robin couldn't help but take offense. "I'm going into this with my eyes wide open."
"Like hell you are. Robin, I know you feel indebted to Patrick for saving you and Morgan from the car crash, but how far are you willing to carry gratitude?" Courtney inquired.
"And just what do you mean by that?"
"Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't sleep with Patrick last night." Courtney challenged, one eyebrow lifting in question.
"Is this an interrogation?" Robin wanted to know.
"Robin, what are you doing?" Courtney asked. "Logan didn't take enough from you? Now you've moved onto his brother?"
"Patrick is not Logan!" Robin hadn't meant to shout. She glanced down at her hands.
"You're right. He's a hundred times worse. Thanks to Logan, he knows just how to work you to his advantage." Courtney assured her.
"Why are you saying these things to me?"
"I don't want to see you hurt again."
"You're the one who said that I need to get a life. Make up my mind." Robin shot back.
"I never meant with Patrick Drake. God, you can't be this naïve." Courtney's voice was soft with awe.
"I'm not being naïve. I don't believe that Patrick and I have anything serious. I don't want serious. He understands that. We're just having fun." Robin clarified.
"At what cost? Have you even thought about how this could affect Morgan?" Courtney retorted.
"Have I thought about it? I think about it every damn day Courtney! I've second-guessed myself since Sonny left me in charge of that little boy and I would not be entering into something like this if I thought there was even a chance that I could end up invested."
"He's never going to love you, Robin." Courtney tried to convince her.
"Who said anything about love?" Robin countered, meeting Courtney's solemn stare.
"I'm trying to protect you." Courtney insisted.
"I didn't ask for you to, did I?" Robin shot back. "This is my life, not anyone else's. I'm so tired of being told how I should live, how I should approach every situation. Yes, Patrick can be an asshole. No one knows that better than I do. When he first brought up the subject of monogamy, I laughed in his face. Then, I yelled at him. And you know what? He's done everything since then to prove me wrong about him. We went and had a really good time yesterday. I feel like a different person when I'm around him. I'm not damaged when we're together, I'm just me."
"I can't support this decision." Courtney murmured firmly.
"Then don't." Robin responded coldly.
"Grandma? Can I watch this one?" Lance held out the DVD of The Muppet Movie with a hopeful smile on his face. The five year old adored The Muppets and had every single one of their movies memorized, which generally led to him repeating the dialogue seconds after it had been said. Bobbie blamed Dillon for that habit.
Bobbie glanced down from her desk, where she had been working on the plans for three of her upcoming weddings. Placed in the living room, it faced out the large front window. It allowed her to work from home and keep an eye on both Morgan and Lance when she needed to. Lucas was busy at the bakery and Dillon had gotten called in last minute to complete some edits for a music video he had shot for a new group Lucky signed. Ruffling her youngest grandson's hair, she smiled. At least he hadn't watched this particular movie in awhile. "Sure Lance. Go ahead."
Lance happily skipped towards the television, singing The Rainbow Connection under his breath as he set up the machines to watch his favorite friends. Bobbie smiled happily at his excitement and turned her attention to the detailed list she had been working on for the past two hours.
It should have been several pages long by now. Filled with contact names, numbers, price quotes, schedules, guest lists and the ever changing table assignments for the reception. But the blank paper mocked her. Nothing was listed, even though she knew work had been done. Her job for this afternoon had been simple. Transfer all the information for this wedding to one single list. It was a practice she had started when her business had started and it had saved her myriad of headaches and hassles as the years went on. The blank paper mocked her. She couldn't even blame the couple for this one. They had come to the table fully prepared and with a clear vision of what they wanted for their ceremony.
No the fault was hers. Every time she went to write down anything, even the smallest most banal detail, including the couple's name, her mind wandered. Wandered right to Cruz.
Ever her since her birthday party she had noticed a change in him. He was easily distracted and at times almost aloof with her. Questions that he had normally answered quickly were now met with silence and then a stilted joking response. At first she had feared that he had finally come to his senses. Realized that he should be with someone closer to his own age than the aunt of his best friends. But his kisses were still as passionate, his attention to her just as intense as ever. He still pouted when she had to send him home early in the evening due to an early morning babysitting session with Morgan or Lance.
Bobbie had long ago learned to recognize the signs when a man was on his way out the door. And Cruz was showing none of them so far. She was starting to suspect was something far more serious. He wanted to go public. Not that he had said anything to her about it. Hadn't dropped a hint, breached a conversation, or even took her out to a place where they were guaranteed to be seen. No he had stayed true to their previous commitment. Private dates in secluded restaurants. Dinners at their homes. Emails and phone calls done almost in code. Yet something was different.
It was gnawing at her. Cruz wanted to go public. He was going to bring it up sooner or later, she realized. He did not get to be en editor at age 25 by avoiding hard questions. Bobbie was a realist above all else, with a romantic streak a mile wide but she was still a realist. Eventually he would force the conversation upon them and she would have to deal with it.
The mere idea of going public terrified her. Bobbie could admit seeing other women flirt with him or listening to Laura's attempts to set him up on blind dates infuriated her. Part of her longed to tell everyone he was hers and hers alone. That they could look all they wanted but he was coming home with her. She hated lying to her family constantly when she knew they just wanted her to find happiness. And Cruz did make her happy.
But would her family's definition of her happiness include dating a man young enough to be her son? One that she had met through her nephews? While she loved her family dearly and knew they were more open-minded than most, she sincerely doubted it. All of Laura's matchmaking attempts since Tony's death had centered on widows and divorcees with grown children just like her. The youngest of that lot had been a mere three months younger than her.
To be completely fair, it wasn't really her brother or sister-in-law's reaction she was worried about. Or Ruby's. They would be shocked at first but they would eventually come around to the idea. She could even hear some of the inappropriate jokes Luke would make at Cruz's expense. That wasn't her worry. It was the kids.
Lucas had only recently come around to the idea of his mother dating again. The few times she had introduced him to a man she was seeing had been excruciating for all parties involved. He had been getting better about it before she started seeing Cruz, but it was still an uncomfortable situation for him. She knew, through conversations with Dillon, her son did want her to be happy but he still felt she would be disloyal to Tony if she did find happiness. Lucas put on a brave front around her but she knew he was still hurting as much as the day Tony died. More so since Lance's birth.
Lulu would be crushed. Her niece had confided in her about the crush she had on her brother's best friend. The young girl would see their relationship as the ultimate betrayal. Bobbie knew her niece. She was her father's daughter. Slow to forgive and quick to anger. There would be other crushes, but none would end as hurtfully as this one would.
Resting her chin in her hands, Bobbie pondered the most troublesome aspect of going public. Lucky and Patrick's reactions. She loved both her nephews dearly. They both had practically grown up in her house and found it a safe refuge when they couldn't deal with their parents during high school and college. Before telling his parents about Cameron's impending birth, Lucky had even half jokingly asked her if he could move in.
She knew how close all three boys were. Brothers from other mothers. They would tease and fight, but never serious, never for long. It had been a long standing joke between herself and Laura that if something was to happen to Lucky, Patrick and Cruz were probably named as Cameron's legal guardians. But she was also aware that nothing this big had been kept a secret between them. Patrick and Lucky would see Cruz's secrecy as a deception, a breach of the code. They would be furious with him. As much as she loved her nephews, she knew both could be rash when angered, do things they may later regret and not be able to take back. Like cast Cruz out of their lives forever.
She couldn't do that to Cruz. He was still estranged from most of his family for turning his back on a more illegal way of life. While he had a strained relationship with his mother, his family didn't understand him and didn't hesitate to tell him so. He had often said being taken under the wing of the Spencer family probably was the best thing that had happened to him. Even if she could admit that she wanted to go public with their relationship, she was not going to do it at the expense of him losing his family.
Squaring her shoulders, Bobbie took a deep breath. They couldn't go public. Cruz would lose too much. She would just have to convince him this was the best way. Even if it drove them both crazy.