Author's Note: Hello everyone! Thank you very much for any form of response to this fanfiction. While I'm starting to doubt myself a little with how it's coming across, I'm not going to stop writing and I still hope you will enjoy reading the chapter. Hopefully, enjoy.
Damien Rice - Amie
"Then something unusual, something strange
Comes from nothing at all"
Strategically, my plan was a success. In other words, my secondary objective—establishing a relationship with Shizu-chan—was accomplished. And logically, it opened me the way to pursuing my main goal, which assumed taking advantage of our supposed status as a couple and exploiting Shizu-chan's emotional candidness to my own liking; mostly gathering information that could become the base to understand the situation as a whole better—me as a part of it.
As far as I should celebrate my small victory, there was a strangely nagging feeling somewhere at the back of my mind, not letting me bathe in success completely. I could not place my finger on it, what of course prevented me from being at ease, as I would have liked to.
Problems, always problems... It seemed that there was no end to them, when Shizu-chan entered the equation. If I solved one, another took it place. Though their calibres were different, it didn't change the fact they existed. Silly... It sounded silly, but left me in constant alertness. And I was well aware that perpetual stress, or in this situation, finding quarrel in a straw was rather Shizu-chan's habit, not mine; and it tended to end badly. I wished for no more troubles; however, so preferably the alarming bell in my head should be silenced—silencing was more effective than ignoring; at least from my personal experience. Still, it wasn't an easy task—to eliminate what has become one's instinctual reaction. Again, Shizu-chan was an excellent example of that; him and the use of his strength while in anger.
More importantly, I actually had second-thoughts considering the sagacity of such an action. Was it wise of me to talk myself out of listening to this insistent warning? The issue at hand drove me into the direction of shushing the irritating 'noise', as it certainly would hinder my focus on the main target, yet... Yet the trepidation of becoming more easily maimed, in emotional sense, without additional precautions, left me hanging.
While some would say that it should be easy to decide if I considered myself to be a composed, balanced and impassive individual, they were in for a surprise. Because I wasn't blind to the point of ignoring the latest changes in myself as a person. I was no longer as balanced and cold as I would have liked to be. There would be no need for the action I had taken then, after all. And to think it had all changed so fast—yesterday I was so sure I could handle it perfectly and a telephone and approximately two conversations later, I was full of doubts. Hence; though, I tried to stay as steady as a rock and not stray from a certain path, there was no saying if or when and why my plans could be thwarted by Shizu-chan's unpredictability. I could believe in my skills, yet the other party had a say in this also, which naturally increased the percentage of difficulties arising along the way.
Oh yes, on over-thinking one could spend eternity... and a bit longer still.
The logical way, again, was to focus on small steps. One by one, I should get rid of what was left of Shizu-chan's inhibitions and secrets—cracking him open to the view of my inquiring, hungry mind. It required trust, or more accurately him trusting me. That, on the other hand, called for more positive interactions between us. Simply, I just had to use more of my personal charm and display an array of emotions supposedly evoked by him and towards his persona. It shouldn't be hard, as truthfully, I have already shown quite a bit of my emotional side—no matter that unwillingly and without the need of my acting skills. I wasn't head over hills for Shizu-chan. I was sure of it. As far as there was something pushing and pulling me towards him, some unknown emotions, I was adamant in thinking it was not... love. I wasn't gone so far... And so I had to show him how I cared for him and needed him—more so than in reality.
And Orihara Izaya was a great actor and a master in manipulation, right? It was definitely possible to persuade him into eating from my hand when he was willing to co-operate in order to strengthen the bonds between us.
"From now on, Shizu-chan, I'm going to occupy your free time more systematically." was my jolly announcement.
"Huh?" the brute answered as usually; the guy not even turning his head from the crappy TV show he was currently watching. Though, I could see that his facial features sharpened a bit, which meant that he was actually paying attention—just didn't want to admit it too openly.
How Shizu-chan-like...
Maybe I should have gone home by now—give Shizu-chan a breather—yet before that I wanted to corroborate my earlier statement with something more than a teasing kiss. Just to be sure it came through Shizu-chan's thick skull that it was indeed happening—the relationship of course—and that I certainly had the intention to act accordingly to it. Namely, starting to do all the things, or rather some of the acceptable things—as I obviously wasn't to step as low as to become sickeningly lovey-dovey all of a sudden, which would be more than out of character and suspicious—between a newly established couple.
Brilliant!
"I said that we're going to see each other more often from now on, Shizu-chan. Isn't it only natural?" I asked rhetorically.
Shizu-chan still felt the need to answer my question-like statement.
"This isn't quite the normal situation to begin with, you know... Not that it matters at the moment... What's your exact idea of 'more often'?" he looked at me with the corner of his eye. Weary of the answer much?
"Oh my... Is Shizu-chan now scared of not being able to get rid of me?" I sent him a smile I considered sweet.
"That's the least of my problems, flea." he grimaced and I couldn't help, but laugh.
"No 'flea', remember? Besides, what other problems do you have?"
"Aside from my leg injury that renders me incapable of such simple things as running down the stairs and to the tobacco shop at the corner of the street to buy cigarettes when I'm running low on them, Izaya?" he replied.
Sarcastically, may I add, which is quite the revelation every time I hear it coming from Shizu-chan.
"I don't think it's that hard to deal with. After all, weren't you supposed to quit? I heard Shinra with my own ears advising you to take such a step for health reasons."
"What a revelation... You don't think I have started smoking without having an idea about possible consequences, do you? I ignored them, obviously. Don't see a reason to change it."
"Oh? But... I haven't seen you taking a single drag of that cancerous smoke since the accident. Aren't you already fallowing Shinra's guidelines then?" I rose my brow; more in a mock question than anything else.
The answer was well known to the both of us, yet in the light of his earlier statement it could only point to the contradiction in his words. Potentially irritating, wasn't it? But the smallest bit. I didn't want to cause a fight. This time.
"For the time being. It's not written in stone, is it? He said bones heal slower when you smoke. So, once my stupid bone is better, I'm going to indulge myself as much as I like. It's not like I'm intent on sabotaging my own recovery..." he explained; light tension in the muscles around his lips showing he wasn't pleased with it.
Normally, I would have pointed out that he erred in his way of thinking. I was happy; though, about not having to wash my clothes every time I have spent some time in Shizu-chan's presence. The smell of cigarettes stuck to clothes pretty hard—I wasn't exactly fond of it. More importantly, I myself hardly believed that smoking could noticeably slow down his recuperation. He has been a heavy smoker since what?—Middle school? High school? Most of his injuries occurred then and despite him not stopping his addiction with tobacco, everything healed as if he was a dog, not a human. Why would it make a difference now? He wasn't that much older either... To me, it was just Shinra trying to kill two birds with one stone and rid Shizu-chan of the nasty habit of smoking. Again, fine by me...
The teasing could wait. And it's not like I had little ideas of how to tease the brute. I had a whole list in my head—waiting for the right moment to use it.
"How smart of you to listen for once, ne~? You should make a habit out of it and listen to me more often too. I think you can benefit from that..." I stated and finally settled on the couch, next to Shizu-chan.
"As if..." he snorted and changed the program, seemingly focusing on what was a sumo match.
Somehow, despite being Japanese by birth, I wasn't very fond of that particular sport. While its history was quite interesting, I always tried to understand why the contestants were looked upon as the epitome of erotica by some of the females. Was it the strength? Though, you could be strong without adding kilograms to your body weight, right? You just had to look at Shizu-chan... Although I was to a point fascinated by his strength, I myself always preferred speed and agility as my forte. Was Shizu-chan a fan of sumo or was watching it without much thought? It was something to discuss... Not that it held a great importance.
After a moment of consideration, I did exactly as I decided I should earlier and casually shifted my position on the couch, so that my head was resting on Shizu-chan's right thigh. The not injured one that is. Momentarily, I felt Shizu-chan's body tense.
Looking up from my position, my eyes locked with his, obviously surprised.
"What are you doing, Izaya?" he asked tentatively.
"I'm resting. Isn't it obvious?"
"I can see, but... why are you resting in this position? Am I your personal headrest?" he inquired.
"Not literally, no. However, I'm simply trying to get us used to the idea of being a couple. Small things, or rather gestures like that, should be a core constituent of a healthy relationship. I'm intent on making us feel comfortable around each other. Don't you want it to work, Shizu-chan? And by 'it' I actually mean 'us'." I elucidated calmly, playing along.
Shizu-chan closed his eyes for a moment, brows drawn together.
"That's not it. Don't you find it... strange?"
"Strange? Elaborate Shizu-chan?"
"What I mean is... how do you change your attitude so suddenly? Don't you find it... uh... unnatural for you? It looks as if it all came to you so easily and I just can't wrap my head around it." he replied, scratching the back of his head in what could only be embarrassment.
Oh my... Was he uncomfortable for some reason? Or just afraid it was a part of my plot to do something nasty suddenly?
Why not ask...?
"Am I making you uncomfortable, Shizu-chan? " I asked, shifting my head on his thigh to have a clearer look at him.
And let me tell you, I love how multi-layered the language can be. There are so many possible reasons hiding in the simple word 'uncomfortable', after all.
"Ah... N-no. I just need some time getting used to it, I think. I don't hate you, true, but it doesn't mean I trust you completely. Not yet. The fact you're not waiting to cut my throat has yet to sink in completely for my old instincts to die out." he continued with his explanation.
I smiled with the corner of my mouth at his reply.
So far, so good. The truthfulness in his words was a good sign for the future of my plan.
"What an in-depth analysis of yourself, Shizu-chan. I'm quite impressed. Am I already rubbing off on you? And don't you worry, I would have no benefit in cutting you throat. As for it all being so easy for me, you should know very well that adapting to new situations comes to me naturally, indeed." I added in a happy tone.
I omitted the fact that feelings made me unsettled. Shizu-chan had had his time to make such a conclusion and I had no intention of reminding him of it.
"Yeah... True. You have always been like a cockroach. They say those can live almost everywhere and even survive an atomic disaster..."
Throwing my head back a bit, I laughed at that, digging my head into the muscles of Shizu-chan's leg in the process.
"Aren't we a pair then? I may be the one to easily accommodate, yet you're the one who is so hard to get rid of, don't you think? It makes us both cockroach-like." I pointed out, catching his gaze in search of a reaction.
His forehead creased for a moment and finally, he presented me with a smile.
"Guess there is some truth to your words." he answered and the smile that started at his lips reached his eyes, making him look all the more relaxed and younger; his face emanating warmth and amusement at the same time.
It was the first time I had seen him like that and for a mere moment I forgot everything, even the topic of our silly conversation.
His expression caught me off guard and, suddenly, I felt an overwhelming need to do something. And so I did.
I lifted my right hand and placed it on the back of his neck, forcing him to bend over, rising myself in the process to meet him halfway in a kiss.
I could taste his surprise in the curve of his lips and a muffled gasp, yet he didn't push me away. Conveniently, I took it as a sign to continue.
Slowly, I rose to a sitting position, pushing his torso into the back of the sofa and let the hand on his neck wander into the gold mane of his hair, somewhat thoughtlessly caressing the skin of his scalp. I ended up in a rather uncomfortable position then, with my own torso twisted to the right, hoovering slightly over Shizu-chan, but I didn't care, as he chose this moment to tighten his hand on my nape to bring me closer to his lips. Needless to say, I fallowed this non-verbal effort to diminish the space between us.
My tongue was fast to find its way into his hot mouth and the light shiver I felt could be either his or mine at this point. However, it was definitely mine when Shizu-chan decided to massage in circles the skin just under my ears. It was strangely sensual and the brute wasn't probably even conscious of his doings.
I nipped lightly at his bottom lip before braking the kiss to look Shizu-chan in the eyes. I watched him open them slowly and was graced with the golden orbs filled with undoubted desire.
"When have you become so sexy?" he asked in a low tone, a bit in awe.
At this unreserved question, I had to stop myself from snorting in merry laughter, it was so unlike Shizu-chan. Or maybe it was like him, yet I had little to nothing information about this side of his to know it, despite our earlier encounters.
There was still so much to learn...
"I always have been, you just didn't care to notice, Shizu-chan." I replied matter of factly, lazily tracing with my finger the line of Shizu-chan's collar-bone. "You, on the other hand, certainly gained on sex-appeal after having your hair done. I don't think I can imagine you any other way than blond. Not that I have to, as I'm in possession of multiple photographs with you as a dark-haired boy. There is just one way to say it..."
"Which is?" Shizu-chan inquired in anticipation.
"Blond makes you look ridiculously hot." I couldn't help myself, but lean in and whisper right to his ear, accentuating the statement with a teasing bite to his ear.
Shizu-chan's fingers automatically tightened on my neck, sending shivers of self-satisfaction down my nerves.
"I don't think I'm going to be able to keep up with you, Izaya." was Shizu-chan's breathy answer.
I leaned back for a moment, tilting my head to the side.
He really had the potential to be 'cute', no matter how silly the word sounded in connotation with Shizu-chan. Not that it changed anything... right?
"Don't be silly, Shizu-chan. If not you, then who?"
He didn't answer.