Chapter 9 Sleepless nights
Since New Years I hadn't been able to sleep. Lying awake at night thinking about my daughter and his son. I couldn't hold her back like my mother had me. I couldn't not follow my heart either though.
Rufus and I had met for coffee yesterday. We discussed whether or not to stay together because of our kids. I really wanted my daughter to be happy but Rufus and I weren't getting married, I was fine with them still being together. Rufus agreed but we both knew it might be a little awkward.
Besides that small incident, New Years had been wonderful, a romantic night for us and a fun time for Jenny and Erik. For Serena and Dan, however, the night had been a little more complicated. When we got home that night Serena told me everything that had really happened with Aaron. I was very concerned of course and the fact that she wanted to be with Dan complicated things even more.
" How could we do this to them?" I had asked Rufus.
" Well Lil, I don't think either of us did anything we asked them if they were ok with us being together," Rufus answered.
" Yes, but things are different now, I just feel so much guilt," I explained.
" Look, don't blame yourself for this everything will work out you'll see," Rufus could always calm me down.
So here I was lying awake another night still not able to sort things out in my head. On top of everything, he thought that now was as good a time as any to sort things out with our child. Unfortunately that meant trying to contact the adoptive parents of our son, I was so worried about him all of a sudden, he was my son, and even though I hadn't raised him I would always love him and I hoped he was having a good life and might want to know me now, all these years later. That would really complicate things.
To be continued...