"How the hell did you two blow it?" Lulu asked, smirking from her position at the kitchen doorway. Not that seeing her brother and cousin being so ceremonially dumped in front of family bothered her much. They deserved it for running Brad off the way they did. But the question needed to be asked and Lulu Spencer was more than happy to ask the obvious question if it meant embarrassing Lucky and Patrick.
"Blow what?" Patrick asked, confused. "Do you know what that was all about, Les?" He didn't mind taking advice from the Drama Queen if it got him some answers. He was a little afraid to follow Robin after the way she had dismissed him in front of everyone. When he had reached for her, she hadn't exactly been subtle in yanking her arm out of his grasp. He wished he would have been allowed to see her face: she was an open book when it came to her emotions. But she had kept her face from his view.
"I don't know genius but it's obvious you did something to piss them off. They were both fine before they went upstairs." Lulu stopped just short of sticking her tongue out at Patrick. She needed to tone down the enjoyment factor or her mother was really going to let her have it later. The sympathy ride she was currently getting for Brad's treatment at their hands was only going to last so long.
Patrick shook his head, clearly at a loss. Why hadn't he just gone looking for her, instead of standing in the hall bullshitting with Cruz? The night might have gone out on a far less dramatic note. He still had no idea what Laura had taken her outside to talk about, but she had looked so overwhelmed once entering the house, he knew it was bad and that he'd just end up making her mad if he pushed for details.
Lucky shook his head in absolute confusion. Lulu was right: Elizabeth was fine before she had left with Robin. In fact she had even joked about her status as old news when his mom had led Robin out the door. What happened between then and now? It had to have something to do with that conversation between his mom and Robin. "Mom, what did you and Robin talk about?"
Laura's eyes dropped to her shoes, but not before Patrick could spot the blush creeping across her cheeks. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. She had done it. She had called Robin out on what she had walked in on after she had promised him she wouldn't bring the subject up again. A few days ago, he and Robin had been on incredible terms. He had managed to not piss her off by saying the wrong thing and actually fell asleep in her arms, completely content with her mere presence.
And now it was all over. Laura had unintentionally thrown him into a bottomless pit and he had no idea how he was going to get back out. Why hadn't he just told Robin the truth? He hadn't even made it hard for her to seek the truth on her own, claiming that it had been Courtney who dropped her son off at home when he knew it to be a lie.
He had to find out what Laura had said, word for word. How was he supposed to do that without everyone knowing his and Robin's business? Why hadn't he just told Robin before tonight? He could have avoided all of this. He could have at least warned her. But, like an idiot, he had expected it to blow over. This was the last time he depended on his cousin to distract his aunt efficiently. Obviously, he had put too much faith in Lucky.
"What? What?" Cruz hadn't missed the way Patrick's eyes had widened when Laura looked away. His friend had figured out something, that much was obvious. And right now it was probably far safer to stay here and figure out how they went wrong than go near Bobbie. He was a dead man the next time she saw him. And he realized he just effectively killed any chance he ever had at getting her to agree to go public.
Patrick's head shot up at the sound of his friend's insistent voice. While he knew Cruz probably had ulterior motives for putting any kind of interest in Laura and Robin's conversation, he was no closer to putting the pieces together. At least Lucky finally believed him. He felt like an ass for not going to Cruz's award dinner. It was a major accomplishment and yet he had let his friend convince him otherwise. The way Bobbie and Laura went on about it had left Patrick feeling about three inches tall.
"Aunt Laura, how could you do this to me?" Patrick would do his best to be respectful, but she had to be held accountable for what she had done. He knew he'd be feeling the repercussions for a long time now. The next time Robin let him anywhere near her would be next to never. He was such an asshole. He could think of all the things he wanted to say to her, but he doubted anything would soothe Robin's battered pride. No doubt Laura had embarrassed her. She wasn't a halfway kind of person.
"What did Mom do?" Lucky wondered. And how the hell had it pissed Elizabeth off?
"Patrick, she knew what I was talking about." Laura didn't think that made the situation any better, but she was not going to blamed for her nephew's incompetence.
"She knew what? Talking about what?" Damn her family for talking in riddles, Lulu cursed.
"Patience daughter." Luke quieted her from his spot near the stairs. Lulu was pushing a thin line here. It wouldn't take much to shove his wife over the edge right now and he did not need another family feud busting out after a good night like tonight. He had spent time with two beautiful young women, tortured some thing that was obviously not good enough to be Spencer material, and ate a good meal. Life had been good until it became painfully clear his boys had screwed something up.
Patrick was going to have to bite the bullet or his family would never get off of his back. What's more, there was no point in trying to return to where he had been, because that bridge was burned. Swallowing what remained of his pride and ego, he explained, "Aunt Laura let herself into Robin's apartment the other night...without calling or letting anyone know...to drop off Morgan and she just happened to get lost and end up in the bedroom where she found both of us asleep." He turned his anger on his aunt unable to push it down. "And I'll be lucky if she talks to me after this. I want to know what you said to her and I want to know now!"
Lucky and Cruz stared in absolute shock at their friend. Even Luke and Lulu appeared as if a stiff wind would knock them right over. How had he been so stupid? They all wondered.
Luke found his voice first. "Did you have a camera?" he asked Laura.
"This is a nightmare." Patrick grumbled, tangling his left hand in his hair and turning away from his overwhelmed family. He could blame Laura all day long and it still wouldn't make the situation any less his fault. Robin probably thought she was a running joke. And just when he had started to get her to trust him. Patrick couldn't be in this house any longer. He couldn't handle the looks and he couldn't believe how he had just spoken to Laura. Stepping around the crowd, he let himself out the front door. He had to do damage control.
"Freeze." Luke hollered. "Don't do it boy."
Caught mid-step, Patrick twirled around, more than ready to let the old man have it. But when he saw the concern in his uncle's expression, he let his body relax. They weren't the enemy. Letting out a bitter laugh, he said, "I guess it was only a matter of time before she wised-up anyway right?"
"There is no sense in going over there till we figure out what pissed Elizabeth off as well. They left together and I will wager they are still together plotting to murder the two of you." He motioned to both Patrick and Lucky with his hand.
"She wasn't exactly talking my ear off." Patrick assured the family.
"Well Elizabeth was perfectly fine before she went upstairs with your girlfriend." Lucky muttered. It had been going so well since their date at Kelly's. He hadn't seen that look of outright hatred since the last time he had accidentally confused her about Daphne. Or was it when he had kissed her and not called her for a week? Well whenever it was, he hadn't seen it in a while.
"Suddenly I can read her mind? What about you? Why am I automatically to blame?" Patrick wanted to know.
"Guys!" Cruz stepped in-between the two cousins, trying to prevent with his mere presence a full out fight from breaking up. "Blaming each other isn't helping."
"Listen to the Secret King." Lulu advised. "You two brainiacs may want to try re-tracing their steps to figure out what pissed each one off."
Cruz did a double take at Lulu's new nickname before he realized she was referring to the secrecy regarding his award. There was no way she knew about him and Bobbie. She wouldn't have been able to refrain from jumping in on him as well if she did know. "The Drama Queen is right. Now after Laura cornered Robin, they came back in right?"
Patrick nodded. The time that would now be referred to as The Beginning of the End.
Lulu decided to show some pity on her poor clueless male relatives. They would be at this all night if she didn't step in. "I saw them go upstairs. I'm assuming to debrief after a classic Laura Spencer intention attack."
"Attack?" Laura shrieked.
"Attack." Lucky and Patrick said in unison.
"Attack." Luke agreed.
"Attack." Cruz nodded.
"I'm going with the crowd here. Attack." Lulu chimed in.
"Okay so they went upstairs to debrief. The question is, what happened upstairs?" Luke paused to look at Cruz and Patrick. "You two were up there. Didn't you see them?"
Patrick refrained from scratching his head. He met Cruz's startled stare.
Cruz shook his head. He hadn't seen them when he went upstairs, but now that he was concentrating on it, had the door to the guest room been open when he had gone upstairs? His eyes widened. That room was the closest to the stairs. If the girls went upstairs to hide, it would the first one they would go to.
"Oh shit." Cruz whispered.
"No." Patrick shook his head vehemently.
"Yes." Cruz nodded his head just as forcefully.
"Did they already figure it out, because I am so lost?" Luke admitted, looking from one family member to the next.
Lucky narrowed his eyes to slits. "What? What are you talking about?"
Cruz looked towards his feet sheepishly. "Well we may not have seen them, but I think maybe it's possible they could have heard Patrick and I talking."
"About?" Lucky's voice was calm. Too calm. Patrick and Cruz instinctively took a step away from him. That voice always preceded someone getting a verbal or physical blow delivered to them.
"It was just guy talk."
"I don't think I want to hear this." Laura made a motion to put her hands over her ears.
"You don't want to hear the great reveal?" Luke looked disappointed.
"Well that could be any number of stupid topics." Lulu started ticking off items on her fingers. "Sports. Movies. Farts. Drinking. Sex." Her eyes caught the guilty look Patrick and Cruz shared. "That's it! You were talking about sex and they overheard you!"
Patrick now understood what it was like to be on the other side of the argument. No wonder Cruz had avoided him for so long.
"I really don't want to hear this." Laura made a move to leave for the safety of her kitchen, but Luke held out his hand to stop her.
"Wait just a minute Angel. This is just now getting interesting."
"It couldn't have just been about sex. I mean Robin and Elizabeth are smart. Just talking about sex wouldn't have pissed them off." Lulu continued, oblivious to her mother's discomfort. "Unless you did something moronic like discuss sex with them..." Lulu froze and dropped her mouth wide open. "Oh God. Tell me you didn't do that. Tell me you weren't really that stupid."
"They were nowhere to be found." Patrick promised, meeting Cruz's eyes for assurance.
"Did you look before you started rating them?" Lulu asked.
Lucky felt the floor begin to sway beneath him and he sank back into the couch. Oh he was so beyond fucked here. If they talked about what he was beginning to think they did... "Please tell me it wasn't what I think it was." The look that passed between Patrick and Cruz was all the confirmation he needed. "I am so beyond dead."
"This is all your fault." Laura told her husband. "I raised our boys to be smarter than this. It must have been your influence."
"Mine?" Luke placed his hand over his heart. "Your son won't even admit what he did! How can it be my fault?" he protested
"Maybe if Lucky could keep a secret, neither of the girls would be upset." Patrick threw in.
"Maybe if Patrick had told Robin the truth, she wouldn't have to cry on Elizabeth's shoulder." Lucky threw right back. If he was going down, he was taking Patrick with him
"I guess we know the cause now. Robin and Elizabeth went upstairs to escape Laura and the rest of us. We didn't realize they were so close by when we started shooting off our mouths. And it was us, Cruz. Don't think you're getting out of this."
"Did you see me trying to? I'm the one who figured this out."
"The question is, what are you going to do about it now? You've done all you can to hurt those girls tonight and neither deserved it." Laura's withering tone caused all three guys to stare at their shoes.
She was thankful she had let someone else drive, because she didn't think she could focus on little things like signaling to passing cars and staying in the little white speckled lines. Her head hadn't hurt this bad since the morning following her college graduation party. Her right cheek resting on the passenger window, she watched the world pass her in a hurry. The neon signs began to blur and she was slow to realize she was crying. The exit signs were lost in the shadows. The highway was pretty deserted for this time of night.
The sound of the door opening had caused Courtney's head to fling up. She had a long day at the studio and the last thing she needed tonight was yet another fight with Robin. With Morgan at camp this week, she had no doubt that any conversation between them would lead to a fight and quickly. Courtney had risen from her chair, with every intention to flee to the safety of her room, when the sight of the two figures in the doorway made her stop. "What the hell happened?"
Both girls eyes were glassy with unshed tears, Courtney could tell that much. And they both held their bodies stiffly, as if anger was the only thing keeping them moving right now when all they wanted to do was collapse.
Courtney approached the pair carefully. "Roby, I'm not trying to pick a fight here. But you both look like hell. What happened? What do you need?" she said in a low even voice laced with concern. It was a long time since she had seen her friend like this. Even catching Logan hadn't caused this much of a reaction out of Robin.
"You were right, okay?" Robin snapped at her, even as she knew it wouldn't make her feel one iota better. She needed to be yelling at Patrick, but, like a coward, she had backed out and run home.
"Guys...can we not do this right now?" Elizabeth whispered. "I can not handle breaking up another fight between you two right now."
"I'm sorry, you're right." Robin gave in, closing the door behind them. This was bigger than chocolate, wine, and gossip. This was a place she had never wanted to be again. "Apparently the guys think we're both a couple of jokes. At least Patrick thinks I am."
Courtney ushered them both to the overstuff couch and raced to the kitchen for the pot of coffee she had just started making. "Drink." She commanded, forcing mugs into their hands. "It will shock your system into responding."
Robin didn't think she deserved her roommate's support, but she couldn't exactly turn her away either. It was too needed. She needed to hear someone, anyone, say that this wasn't her fault, that she hadn't been stupid to put her faith in another unreliable source. It didn't matter that Courtney hadn't said it. It didn't even matter that Courtney hated Patrick. It had been so tense between them lately and Robin hadn't been sure how she should approach the countless subjects on which they'd get fired up about. It had started with the fight about Morgan's tantrum and grown to her apparent neglect of her son. Seeing Patrick was just the cherry on top of the cake. "Thank you." She took a cautious sip.
"Now scale it out for me. One to ten how big is this screw up?" Courtney asked.
"A million." Elizabeth muttered darkly.
"Both guys are involved. Why don't you tell me how?" Courtney suggested.
Elizabeth started after taking one more sip of the warm beverage. The other girl had been right. The coffee was strangely settling her nerves. "Well it started when Patrick never told Robin the truth about the other day and let Robin be ambushed by Laura tonight."
"I was wondering how that would play itself out." Courtney noticed that Robin was staring blankly into her cup. It was too much of a risk to reach out and touch her friend's shoulder, but that didn't make the temptation any less.
"Yeah so while we were upstairs dealing with that, we got front row seats for Cruz and Patrick discussing information from my night with Lucky that could have only come from one person." Elizabeth couldn't go into many details. She hadn't thought anything would have hurt her worst than walking in on Max and Melissa, but she had been wrong. He had been so damn reassuring and pretended to be such a great guy and he went and did that?
That didn't sound like Lucky. Now, she could see Patrick doing what he had done without even a smidge of evidence, but it was a much larger leap to think Lucky capable of such a heinous act. Not wanting to upset the women further, she struggled for the right thing to say. "And I'm guessing neither of you confronted these assholes?"
Robin took offense to that, her shoulders stiffening a bit more, but then the feeling was gone and she could have cared less. She had called Patrick much worse in her mind.
"No we left. Bobbie was leaving so we basically forced ourselves on her." Elizabeth answered.
"Were you at all aloof?" Courtney wondered.
"Nope." Robin chuckled humorlessly.
"Murderously angry is probably closer." Elizabeth agreed.
"This means they're on their way here." Courtney deduced.
"Don't count on it." Robin muttered.
Courtney raised an eyebrow in her friend's direction. "You made it no secret that you were angry? You left together? You dumped them in front of their family? If I know nothing else about Laura Spencer I know she will shame them into coming looking for you two. Trust me. Sooner or later one or both will show up here."
"Then we can't be here." Robin decided, setting her cup down hard enough to make the coffee spill over onto the table.
Elizabeth glanced up at her friends. "Where would we go? It's not like there's many places to hide here. And they know everyone we know."
A smile settled across Courtney's features as the proverbial light bulb clicked on in her brain. "What if I put the two of you in a spa in the city? It'd be under my name so it'd at least slow them down."
"That could work." Elizabeth spoke slowly.
"But we both work. I, for one, can't ask everyone to take up the slack for me when I've just gotten back to work." Robin shook her head.
Elizabeth bit her lip. "Well technically I'm just setting up my room at school. And I got most of it done the last time I was avoiding Lucky. Also I'm through at the Cheese. I always take the last two weeks of summer off so I can get back into the teaching groove."
"What if you put a 'family emergency' sign up?" Courtney suggested. "You just need to hide out for a couple of days." Before Robin could protest, she added, "Or I could run the bakery in your absence."
Robin wiped a set of newfound tears from her eyes. "Courtney, you can't cook." She pointed out.
"It's all pre-made right? And I could order more if we run out." Courtney was not going to back down from this. Her friends needed a vacation.
"What about the movie?" Robin pressed.
"I have the week off." Courtney promised.
"Courtney, you really don't have to do this." Elizabeth started.
"I want to!" Courtney assured them. "Really, it's no problem. I can pick up the slack where I'm needed. Morgan is in camp for the rest of the week, so there's no worry about him. Please let me do this."
Elizabeth and Robin looked at each other. Courtney was always impossible to resist when she pressed a point like this. And the idea of just disappearing for a few days seemed both a perfect way to make those bastards pay and just a good break. Robin was the one to voice the surrender.
"Okay. Let's do it."
The green mile marker told her she was eighty-five miles to New York City. Eighty-five miles to freedom and peace of mind that the brochure Courtney had thrown hurriedly at them promised. Elizabeth blinked her eyes rapidly in an attempted to keep them focused and to keep tears from forming there.
She was damned if she was going to waste one tear on Lucky Spencer. After Max, she had promised herself she was through wasting her tears on men that did not deserve it or her. It was why she had stayed single for so long, kept so many at bay. Obviously she was going to need her radar re-adjusted if Lucky had slipped through.
Except he hadn't seemed like a bad guy. A little clueless. He certainly had an ego the size of Texas. And somehow he never did quite manage to grasp the concept that she should know certain pieces of information. But overall, he did not seem like the type of guy who would have run to his buddies and brag about his sex life immediately afterwards. She hadn't even told Robin the vaguest information about that last date and he had given details to Patrick and Cruz they had no right to know. She was angry. She was humiliated. She was hurt.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Robin resting her head against the window, staring blankly outside. Reaching over, Elizabeth squeezed Robin's hand. "Hey. At least we have each other right?"
"Yeah, and I don't think that's a bad thing." Robin responded, her tone remote, her eyes unfocused.
Elizabeth smiled. "After all, it will take both of our brilliant natures to make sure they completely and totally pay for this humiliation."
"Why do you think he lied to me?" She knew it wasn't safe to ask this, not now when they were getting away, but she doubted it'd be the best idea to discuss Patrick once they were there.
Elizabeth shrugged. "Because he didn't know how to tell you the truth? Why do you think Lucky told them?"
"Secrets have never been his strong point." Robin answered.
"Or common sense." Elizabeth muttered.
She had thrown herself out there to get hurt again. Until the night of his birthday, Robin thought maybe she could walk away, maybe she could avoid the fallout. But then that night had happened and she found herself invested. She had almost forgotten about his lying to her until Laura cornered and embarrassed her. Granted, she didn't blame Laura for the way she had reacted; she just wished she had been given some kind of warning beforehand. Maybe then she could have believed Patrick had been clueless on how to tell her the truth instead of the cold, hard truth: he simply hadn't considered how it would affect her.
"Robin?" Elizabeth's voice interrupted her thoughts. "You know this isn't your fault right? You do know that, don't you?"
"You know how the saying goes, 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' I knew better." Robin scoffed, disgusted with herself.
"You know what Courtney would say right now?"
"Tell me." Robin urged her to continue.
"That we were being ridiculous for blaming ourselves for the actions of two shitheads. She'd then say our priorities should be pissing them off by disappearing, getting even more gorgeous than we already are, and then returning to town prepared to wreak revenge on all males who have done us wrong."
Robin was startled by the sound of her own laughing. Elizabeth was absolutely right. The only thing worse than self-doubt was self-blame. She hadn't deserved what had happened to her tonight any more than Elizabeth had. She hoped they were especially creative in how they chose to get the boys back because she wanted Patrick to know what it felt like to be humiliated. How could he treat her this way and still question her resistance to trust him? "You're right. You're so right."
"So what are we waiting for?" Elizabeth pressed her foot to the accelerator and watched the needle climb higher. Lucky Spencer was going to eat dirt before she let him near her again. "The night is young."