CHAPTER TWO
"How are you doing out there, Bells?" Twenty-seven-year-old Nessie asked from the other end of the phone line. "How are the kids?" Bella turned her attention away from her sleeping children and returned her focus to the conversation that she was having with her older sister over the phone. She stepped away from her bed where both Lana and Sam had fallen asleep. Pillows were pushed against them on either side and she had draped a blanket over both their bodies. They were sleeping soundly, finally resting after a long morning and an even longer afternoon.
After the park they'd went to lunch downtown where Bella had come across only one more thing that Lana was allergic to. Mayonnaise. Of all the things in the world. The little girl's tongue swelled up and they made a mad dash to the emergency room where it was quickly cleared up with antibiotics and they were sent home with a prescription.
"How are we doing out here?" Bella asked, repeating the question. She sighed and stepped back to her living room slowly. Sam had managed to pull his toys out of the toy box and they were strewn across every inch of the carpet. Bella began picking them up slowly as she rested the phone between her shoulder and her ear.
"We're doing all right," she said. "Mike works more than I'd like him to but we make due without him. The kids are fine. Lana is allergic to mayonnaise." She was tired and she was sure that her sister could hear it in her voice. If anyone knew Bella, it was Nessie.
"Mayonnaise, peanuts, and eggs," Nessie said, listing off her niece's allergies. "You've got quite a little girl there, Bells. Did she have another reaction?"
"Yes," Bella said, replacing Sam's toys in the toy box. Slowly, she lowered herself onto the couch and laid back with a heavy sigh. "I gave her a bite of my sandwich and her tongue grew to twice its size and her face broke out in a rash. She's okay now but it's been a long day."
"Did Mike go to the hospital with you? You did go to the hospital, right?" Nessie asked.
"Yes… yes, I did," Bella said, impatiently. Sometimes she grew tired of the way that her sister treated her, as if she wasn't good enough as a parent. Nessie, the super-mom seemed to know everything about parenting and Bella never seemed to know enough. Bella felt superior to her sister at times, having two children while Nessie only one child, her six-year-old daughter, Ashlyn, and a loving and supportive husband who she'd been with since she was fifteen years old.
"Well… good. Did he go?" Nessie repeated. Bella didn't want to admit that her husband was not helping her. Ever since they'd moved to Illinois, she felt like he was practically non-existent in the home. He came home after work and was gone again in the morning. He didn't kiss Sam or Lana good night. He didn't play with them before work.
"No," Bella finally said, opening her eyes. She stared up at the ceiling. What was she supposed to do? Mike was bringing home their income and keeping Bella and the children fed, clothed, and sheltered. How could she argue with him and accuse him of being non-involved when everything that he was doing was for his family?
"He was busy," Bella added, running her hand across her forehead. She was tired. Her bones ached and her muscles were sore. She'd chased Lana all over the park and had given all her energy to the children.
"When is he not," Nessie muttered but Bella heard her. She sighed and quickly changed the subject.
"How's Ashlyn?" she asked, picturing her sweet faced niece in her mind. With her long reddish brown hair, green eyes, and sweet smile she was a splitting image of her mother. The memory of the little girl panged Bella's heart. She hated that she had to be so far away from her family. She hated that Lana could no longer grow up with her cousin and that Sam would not know her again until he was older. She missed her sister and her brother-in-law, Jake. She missed her parents who were still in Forks, missing her everyday. She missed her younger brother, Riley, and she hated that she wouldn't get to be near him as he started his senior year. Mike didn't care about these things. He was more interested in the money that a new job was bringing him and the financial security that he could promise to Bella and their children.
"Ashlyn is great," Nessie said, her tone quickly softening. She loved her daughter more than anything. Bella loved that about her sister. Since the day that Ashlyn was born, Nessie hadn't let her love for the little girl fade. She loved her so much that she refused to have more children because she was sure that she would explode with love. "She's just started a gymnastics day camp so she isn't around much during the day. We miss her a lot but she's having fun so we won't complain."
"Gymnastics?" Bella asked, wondering if she could put Lana through that. The little girl had so much energy already. Maybe something active like that would help balance her energy and keep her calmer during the evenings.
"You should find a program for Lana," Nessie said, as if she read her sister's mind. "She'd be good at something like gymnastics or tap dance or… any kind of dance really." Her sister paused and Bella listened as her sister placed her hand over the receiver. She heard a muffled voice, Nessie's, and then a deeper voice answered and Bella pictured Jake, her sister's husband. He'd been involved in Nessie's life since Bella was eleven. The man was her brother, more than marriage could ever claim and she loved him as much as she loved her own siblings.
"Jake needs the phone, Bells," Nessie said, coming back on the line. "He's got some business something or other to deal with. I'll call you back on my cell phone later tonight, all right?"
Bella smiled softly and nodded, sad to lose touch with her sister so soon but happy to have time to rest while the babies were asleep.
"All right," she answered. "Tell Jake I said hi and send Ashlyn our love."
"I will," Nessie said. "I love you, Bells."
"Love you too," Bella said, before her sister hung up.
Sighing heavily, Bella ended the phone call and rested the phone on her stomach. Closing her eyes, she shifted against the couch cushions until she was comfortable. It wasn't a permanent comfort because five minutes later her leg started to fall asleep. She pulled herself off of the couch and walked heavily back to her bedroom. Without waking either of them, Bella slid in close to her children and pulled Sam into her arms and moved Lana close to them. With their soft heart beats and even breaths as a lullabye, Bella found pleasant sleep within minutes.
Somewhere in the house, Bella could hear Mike's voice, loud and demanding as he talked. She assumed that he was on his phone because the conversation was one sided. She roused from sleep slowly, finding that only Sam was still with her on the bed. Sitting up quickly, she glanced around the room in search of her daughter. The bedroom door was open and behind Mike's voice, Bella could hear the TV on in the living room and a sports announcer was shouting the latest game scores. Was Lana in her bedroom? Making sure that Sam was secure on the bed, Bella got out of bed and wandered to the hallway. She could see Mike's shadow coming from the kitchen and between his shouts she could hear dishes clanking together.
Pushing her hand through her hair, she stepped up to Lana's room and pushed open her bedroom door. Her TV was on but she was not inside. Panic rose inside of Bella's throat and she hurried down the hallway. She burst into the kitchen and Mike greeted her with a confused expression. He stopped mid sentence and shrugged his shoulders at her.
"What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Not a 'hello' or 'how'd you'd sleep?'.
"Where's Lana?" Bella asked, hearing the anger and fear in her voice. Mike looked around the kitchen as if she were sitting in the sink.
"I don't know," he said. "She woke up when I came home and I set her up with the TV in her bedroom because my game was on. She's not in her bedroom?"
"No, Mike, she's not," Bella said, pushing her hands through her hair. Where could she be? She left the kitchen and checked the living room and then the dining room. She opened the bathrooms and looked inside. Mike ended his phone call quickly and followed after his wife.
"I thought she was okay," he said. "She always sits in her room and watches TV."
"But you can't leave her alone!" Bella cried, hurrying back to her bedroom. Sam was still asleep but the room was still void of her daughter.
"I didn't leave her alone," Mike said, frustrated. "I was in here and you were in your bedroom."
"Sometimes you remind me of a twelve-year-old boy," Bella groaned, returning to Lana's bedroom. She gave the room a once over again and noticed that something had changed. The TV was no longer playing Bear in the Big Blue House. The channel had been changed since she'd last been there.
"Twelve? What are you talking about?" Mike asked, standing in the doorway. Bella stepped into the room and checked the closet.
"Just… nevermind, Mike," Bella said. "Go watch your game, make your dinner. It's obviously more important than this."
"You know what?" Mike asked but Bella didn't answer him. "I've had a long day and I don't feel like dealing with your attitude. You sit at home all day, resting with the kids, and I work hard for you. I don't want to come home and get bitched at for doing your job."
Bella wanted to give up her search and reach out and strangle her husband. But she couldn't give up on Lana.
"Lana?" she called, ignoring Mike and he returned to the living room. Bella heard a rustle and slowly Lana peeked her head out from under her bed. She smiled up at Bella.
"Hi mam," she said, using one of her many titles for her mother. "I played hide and see." Bella's heart rate slowly lowered and she kneeled down to the floor. She helped her daughter out from under the bed and she stood in front of her. Pulling her into a hug, she embraced her tightly and then kissed her forehead.
"You scared me," Bella said, pushing her hand over Lana's hair. The little girl handed Bella the remote to her TV and pointed to it.
"I don't know where Bear go," she said, referring to the Disney channel show that had previously been on the TV. Bella smiled softly and changed the channel for her effortlessly.
"There he is," she said, standing up. She directed Lana back to her bed and made sure she was sitting and happy before she backed away. "You keep watching Bear and I'll make you some dinner, okay? No more hiding."
"No hiding," she repeated, nodding her head but her eyes never left the TV. Bella left the door open, walked down the hallway and checked on Sam before she proceeded to the kitchen where Mike was busy opening a package of hot dogs over a pot of simmering water.
"Let me tell you that I did not just sit around all day, Mike," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I had to take Lana to the hospital today because it turns out she's allergic to mayonnaise. I spent half of my day in the emergency room praying that she wouldn't swallow her tongue or that she wouldn't scratch the skin off of her face because it was itching so badly."
Mike stopped what he was doing and looked at her with unsympathetic eyes. He hadn't always been this way. Once upon a time Mike had been everything Bella had ever dreamed of. He was sweet and kind and so funny. Through her first and second year of college, she was so in love with him and everything that he was. When they decided upon their future after learning about her first pregnancy, he seemed genuinely interested in taking care of Bella and their baby. After he graduated and then after Lana was born, he started to change. He grew distant and was more focused on his budding career than his family. Bella hadn't wanted to be pregnant again because she was worrying enough about her family when she only had one child. Mike only confirmed her fears. He no longer wanted the things that he'd promised her.
"Why didn't you call me?" he asked.
"What would you have done?" Bella asked. "'Oh baby, I'm sorry. I'm in a meeting. Good luck.'"
"Bella… I would not have done that," he said. "I love Lana and you know that. I care about what happens to her just as much as you do. I would have appreciated it if you would have called me."
"Well, I didn't because I had it under control," Bella said, wanting to believe his answer. "And Lana is fine now. Please don't feed her mayonnaise."
"I won't," he said, shaking his head. He went back to his hot dogs. Bella stayed quiet and just watched him.
"Are you making dinner?" she asked after a few moments of silence.
"I figured I would since you were asleep," he said. She shook her head and stepped up to him. She took the package from him and he stepped back gently.
"I'm awake now," she said. "I'll make something better than this."
"All right," Mike said, brushing his hands off on his jeans. She looked away from him as she turned on the oven but his hand found her chin and he turned her face to his.
"I love you, Bella," he said. "Okay?" He kissed her and she returned it softly. She was still so angry with him for being so careless with Lana. She wanted to hurt him. Her children were all that she had here and if she lost either of them, she would die.
"Okay," she said but it was not the answer that he wanted to hear because he turned and left the kitchen with an angry sigh. With shaking hands, Bella replaced the hot dogs in the refrigerator and pulled out a box of frozen lasagna. She set it on the counter and rested her hands on either side of it, leaning over it. She closed her eyes and pulled in a heavy breath. She wanted to be back in Seattle in the small, cozy kitchen of their old house but instead she was surrounded by a high tech modernized kitchen and her family was eating off of paper plates with plastic spoons.
"I hate it here," she whispered quietly to herself as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. Opening them slowly, she looked down at the box of lasagna and took a deep breath. She wiped her eyes gently and regained her composure. She had to get dinner on the table before Sam woke up. There weren't time for tears.