Just Need Someone: Random Bits 2

AN: Well after posting the first of these a few others popped into my head!

==ME 1 – Post ME 3 – You think this is great writing to stand by?==

Notes: A sorta forth wall breaking moment in the screwed up written life of Aura Shepard

Aura looked at the piece of paper in her hand, "..So let me get this straight, regardless if I saved the council, kept my squad all alive, had all their loyalty, made countless paragon and renegade sacrifices. I still end up reaching the beam and getting some lame spewed BS staggering line down a one way hallway which could never possibly have allowed Anderson to show up at a different place. Much less really allow TIM to show up behind me out of no where! Oh and THEN I get to talk with a little AI that randomly decides to show up as the same KID that I saw in a vent at the start of this War? And regardless of all this all my choices dont matter I basically still wind up dead.." Aura said looking over the desk at the man who smiled at her like she was a 2 year old.

"..That is exactly it, we at EA and Bioware feel our writers really have nailed a solid ending to your story! We're sure that our fans will SO enjoy this!.." The man said.

"..Yet your screwing said fans by lying to their face by saying their choices matter...when CLEARLY they really dont. And dont even get me started on how your screwing ME! You set me up to have an epic story romance with a tragic asari and...and I get this dribble!?" Aura said smacking the stack of sheets.

"..Of course! We felt that all players would be happy with the closure! I do not seem to see your problem Shepard, you'll be a legend at the end of this!" The man stated.

"..A LEGEND?! Told by some old guy to a KID hundreds or thousands of years later?! You're telling me this old guy tells a KID about all the explicit lovers I supposedly have? Or the scores of fully paid for college tuition needy strippers I forked out credits too? OH YES what a respectful LEGEND I'll be!" Aura screeched

"..Shepard really you need t-" The man began then without a thought Aura pulled out her side arm and shot the man in the head.

"..God damnit my name is AURA Shepard...why cant anyone RECALL my damn first name?!.." she said then walked out the office going on a killing spree of revenge.

==Thousands of years later==

"..And that's the final story of the Shepard child.." The man said.

On his knee the child looked horrified and was bawling his eyes out. "..I dont wanna go to the stars now daddy!"

==ME 1-3 – Where should I Put my things?==

Note: Ok so regardless of Normandy if you count up the crew sizes and then reference the amount of beds...yeah even counting the sleeper pods there is SO not enough room for even half the crew to sleep with half on duty and half off duty.

"..So where should I put my things Shepard?" Random new team mate asked.

"..Oh you'll be in bathroom stall three in the men's room because some idiot down at ship design school forgot we actually need at least half a crew's worth of BEDS on this boat!.." Aura. Happily the random new team mate nodded and strode off.

==ME 2 – Next Normandy gets a bar==

Note: Annoying lines not being adjusted to account for new DLC...

"..I would hate to do this all over again Shepard.." Jacob said leaning against the table.

"..Yeah next Normandy gets a bar.." Aura said.

Jacob raised an eyebrow at the comment, "..Err Shepard we got a bar, Kasumi's sleeping in it.."

"..We got a bar?! WHEN?!" Aura said rushing out, grabbing Doctor Chakwas and spending the day getting hammered.

==Post ME3 – So you ever wonder...==

Note: Minor teaser for a later scene with Milra and Aura

Aura sat at the small cafe table on Earth in San Francisco with Milra. "..So Father, you ever wonder who your parents were?"

Aura paused in readying to sip the glass of lemonade she had in her hands, surprised by the question. "..Not really, why do you ask?" She inquired.

"..No reason, just that I was looking through some old mission files and thought a few folks you ran across back then could have been your parents.." She said with a shrug.

Aura despite herself gave a shiver, and the thoughts that random people she had helped, killed, or allied with or against could have been the parents that abandoned her to a street gang years ago.

==ME 2 – Just so we're clear...==

Note: It always sorta irked me that regardless of Shepard's alignment in regards to paragon/renegade that Shepard is so...calm about meeting Joker again, especially given he is THE reason she/he died! Hence here is the unwritten scene with Aura meeting joker again after talking to Timmy. She's cranky hence why she's not the sparkly Paragon she is later in ME2.

"..Hey Commander just like...old times?" Joker said striding in then paused as Aura turned narrowing her eyes dangerous. Privately he felt his hands grow sweety.

"..Joker! It's really you, I'm SO happy to see you well, these past two years certainly have been nice to you!" Aura said striding over, her tone seemed friendly enough Joker noted, and she didnt seem ready to go for her holstered side arm.

Then the draped arm came around his shoulder and upper body, and slowly started to squeeze as she leaned in putting enough pressure to make him wince in pain and worry. "..Before we do some catch up let me just be clear JUST in case anything happens in our little mission ahead that means we get into deep shit like before.." She said lowering her voice, "..If I give the order to abandon ship. You damn well abandon it you hear me?. We clear?" She said.

Meekly Joker nodded, and Aura released him smiling. "..Great! Now come on Miranda said something about a ship we'll be using!" She said her happier face now visible.

==ME 2 – LOTSB quick fight...==

Note: Ok if there is ONE fight I cherish in all of mass effect it is the fight against the Yahg Broker. This was so amazingly awesome for me and still gives me shivers when I do replays. Here is an alternate version of that fight however using my more renegadeish Aura (who still get's Samara in the end even though I'm likely borderline renegade in scope LOL)

"..Big talk for someone with no where left to run..surrender.." Aura said to the sitting Broker having her pistol aimed squarely at his head a few feet away.

His reply was not what Aura wanted to hear, and feeling her anger build she pulled the trigger before he could say or do anything else. The large caliber round of the M-5 hand cannon drilled into his forehead and with a heavy thud he fell off the chair in a heap.

"..Have fun Liara see you later!" Aura said turning and striding out, "..Come on Samara.."

AN2: Less then the others but I wanted to write these...